HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 03: The Nationwide Movement to Create Gods

Chapter 03: The Nationwide Movement to Create Gods

Upon returning to the academy, Yun Ye issued a lockdown order. The reason was that the academy needed to prepare for the examination one month later. The triennial imperial examination had finally arrived. If they didn’t achieve good results this time, they would have to wait another three years. Previously, dukes and marquises had the right to recommend candidates, and even certain high-ranking and powerful individuals could appoint their own subordinate officials themselves. Now the right to privately confer official positions had been entirely reclaimed by His Majesty the Emperor. Whether for regular selected officials, civil selected officials, or even the appointment rights for subordinate officials of princely mansions and princess residences—all were in the Emperor’s hands. Below the sixth rank, if the certificate of appointment lacked the Ministry of Personnel’s seal, one was not an official of the Great Tang Dynasty. Above the sixth rank, without the Emperor’s seal, it was definitely counterfeit, and once caught, execution would follow.

None of the academy students acted recklessly—all knew the importance of this examination. The library’s lights blazed brightly through the night without extinguishing. Some students lacking confidence would surround their teachers, requesting help in narrowing down where exam questions might come from. Although they would be sternly rebuked, the books they took back always had many sections marked with red pen.

Yun Ye did exactly this. Some of this examination’s questions were set by him. The Emperor trusted his character too much, so he wasn’t confined and locked up to be released only after the great examination. Hypatia didn’t have such good fortune. Empress Zhangsun believed Hypatia’s character was lively and romantic, making her easily deceived by treacherous people who might extract exam questions. So she kept her in the palace to chat and relieve boredom, while also teaching several young princesses their studies.

Cen Wenben submitted three successive memorials wanting the Emperor to agree that Japanese students could also participate in the great examination, but on the court floor he was mocked by young officials led by Yun Ye until his face turned red. A single phrase—”trading favors and peddling righteousness”—made Cen Wenben’s efforts come to nothing.

Yun Ye believed that the magnanimity to embrace all rivers had no problem when applied to absorbing foreign culture, but absolutely should not include absorbing people wholesale. The four generals Ashina Duer, Ashina Simo, Qibi Heli, and Zhishi Sili all fought tirelessly for Great Tang—loyal and devoted fellows who had now become Great Tang’s pillars. Giving them any honor was not excessive; their performance on the battlefield had long proven their loyalty. What did Japanese students amount to? What did Silla students amount to? Could saving Cen Wenben compare to the achievements of these four generals? Great Tang’s officials were not so cheap.

Fang Xuanling thought the same, using the ancient example of the golden cup for licking hemorrhoids, believing Great Tang’s official positions should not follow suit—only those with great merit could obtain them. This was a baseline that should be established as permanent precedent.

Cen Wenben angrily denounced Yun Ye as a narrow-minded commoner, called Fang Xuanling an autocrat who excluded dissidents, and in his humiliated fury began cataloging the current Emperor’s failings in favoring sycophants and refusing to listen to loyal counsel.

Thus the Emperor, whose heart was already accumulated with heart-fire, upon hearing this became furiously angry. With a single edict, he sent Cen Wenben to Bazhong to keep company with Yelang. Cen Wenben received the edict and the next day led his Japanese students to assume his post in distant Bazhong. Before departing, he performed three great kowtows facing the direction of Wanmin Palace, then boarded a boat and departed.

Not one of the academy’s teachers escaped the Ministry of Personnel’s net. A thick stack of appointment certificates sat on Yun Ye’s desk, exceptionally exquisite. The academy teachers smiled as they found their own certificates, glanced at them, tucked them in their bosoms, and continued teaching their classes.

“Already preferential treatment,” Li Gang casually flipped through several certificates, happily saying to Master Yuanzhang.

“Indeed so. Compared to the Imperial Academy, our academy’s teachers have not been discriminated against. Upon entry, they’re already junior eighth rank Bearing Court Gentlemen. After two years, according to seniority, they’ll automatically advance to senior eighth rank Servitor Gentlemen. Although the highest is only junior fifth rank lower grade Assistant Cavalier Attendant-in-ordinary, compared to going out to prefectures as officials, there’s almost no risk. As long as one teaches for a lifetime and finally retires as a senior fifth rank Palace Gentleman, this is already rare glory. Those teachers from Sichuan back then are now mostly seventh rank officials. Master Zhao Yanling has even achieved sixth rank. Just over five years’ time.”

Master Yuanzhang was also very satisfied. Jade Mountain Academy had finally, on this day, been truly accepted by the court. Three hundred twenty-four teachers were thoroughly brought under the scope of Great Tang’s administrative jurisdiction.

Hypatia became an anomaly. The academy didn’t regard her as a woman. When reporting, she was listed as a seventh rank official. For unknown reasons, she ended up becoming a sixth rank female official in the Palace Protocol Bureau, under the Empress’s jurisdiction.

Yun Ye himself was also under the Empress’s jurisdiction, so he had no qualms about this matter. However, Hypatia tearfully complained to the Empress that she wanted to be a seventh rank Court Gentleman, unwilling to be a sixth rank female official. She also said why should she do men’s work but hold women’s office? She wanted to争一口气 fight for dignity on behalf of all women under heaven.

Using the fact that Hypatia was a barbarian obviously had no use. Now Hypatia’s surname was Yuan—she was Master Yuanzhang’s granddaughter. If she were a man, perhaps someone would point this out, but for a woman who couldn’t inherit family property, saying she had the Yuan surname was just giving her status—not a big deal.

Zhangsun was also troubled and told this matter to Li Er. Li Er laughed until he couldn’t close his mouth. A seventh rank official really counted as nothing in the imperial family’s eyes. What was wrong with giving her a Court Gentleman position?

Then Hypatia became Great Tang’s first female Court Gentleman. Very official—the Ministry of Personnel’s certificate wrote it clearly. The gender column said “female.” Even the official robes were sent over. When worn, she naturally cut a dashing figure.

Many teachers, after obtaining official status, planned to return home in glory. Moreover, after several years serving at the academy, they had accumulated some wealth. Now if wealth and honor didn’t return home, it was like wearing brocade at night. But the academy was about to have the great examination, so naturally they couldn’t leave. Those teachers instructing lower grade students could take turns going home; teachers of higher grades could only wait until winter break.

“When Great Master Xihua performed dharma rites in Hebei, a golden-armored divine being appeared in the clouds. The whole room was filled with fragrance. The Laozi statue in Ascending Immortal Observatory manifested seven-colored radiant light. By evening, there were countless auspicious vapors, clearly visible even from a mile away. The next day, countless villagers surged to Ascending Immortal Observatory, worshipping ceaselessly. Those urns containing ashes of fallen soldiers stored in the monastery also scattered fluorescent radiance in the darkness. Countless fireflies gathered from the grass onto the ash urns, forming a huge character for ‘mighty,’ brimming with killing aura that nearly scattered people’s souls. The villagers all said this was because the soldiers had become guardian spirits, specifically managing punitive executions, hence the overwhelming killing aura. At such a critical moment, Master Xihua received heavenly bestowal—truly a blessing for the Taoist sect.”

Yuan Tiangang, who hadn’t visited for a long time, suddenly came to the Yun residence, specifically to tell Yun Ye about the miraculous deeds of Taoist Master Xihua. His face was full of piety. When mentioning the Li family ancestor Laozi, he was even more respectful. When he used poetic language to describe how fireflies formed the character for lethal might on the fallen soldiers’ ashes, his expression was even more excited—clearly deeply immersed in the role.

What could Yun Ye say? That the Supreme Lord was just a clay-sculpted deity? That crushed fluorite powder painted on the deity statue would glow? Find a few glass mirrors to gather this scattered light together to create a spotlight effect? Was it difficult to make fireflies form patterns?

To shut his own mouth—his fallen subordinates had become deities. Could he bear to ruin his subordinates’ good fortune? Some bribed with silver, some with beautiful women. This was the first time encountering such bribery. Yun Ye wasn’t so noble—his subordinates had become gods, what was there to be dissatisfied about?

“Laozi rode a green ox out through Hangu Pass, then ascended to immortality. Now his descendants争气 bring honor—the Li family’s incense offerings flourish, so naturally there will be resonance. Ascending Immortal Observatory is an extremely efficacious immortal observatory, so naturally deities will descend. Who would have thought former comrades-in-arms had become gods? Hearing this truly brings mixed sorrow and joy. The Yun family contributes a thousand strings of cash, requesting your venerable sect create statues for my soldiers, transforming the formless into form, so they may soon enjoy blood offerings and bless the Lingnan Naval Fleet with smooth sailing.”

Yuan Tiangang exhaled a long breath, pressed his palm to his chest, intoned a Taoist title, then said, “Naturally so. Since the divine spirits have manifested, creating statues for them is naturally our duty. Marquis Yun’s thousand strings of cash in incense offerings will certainly move the deities. But I wonder if Marquis Yun’s incense offering can be announced to believers under heaven, so the common people can remember Marquis Yun’s great virtue?”

“Naturally so. The Yun family has always acted openly and aboveboard. Any matter can be seen by others—why can’t it be told to others?” Yun Ye forcibly suppressed the urge to vomit. Damn it, not only did they want him to shut up, they also wanted to use his reputation as a bargaining chip. This was shameless to the extreme. Facts proved Yun Ye still underestimated Yuan Tiangang’s shamelessness.

After drinking a sip of tea, Yuan Tiangang mysteriously said to Yun Ye, “I wonder if Your Lordship has heard a certain rumor?”

“Which deity has manifested again? If deities manifest all over the world, won’t it be a bit chaotic?” Yun Ye asked with displeasure. Boasting for his own fallen subordinates was fine, but doing it for others was pointless.

Yuan Tiangang said with certainty, “You don’t know yet? Daoist Sun cured the Dragon King of Jing River’s illness in a dream and received a gift from the Dragon King of twenty pearls as large as pigeon eggs. As you know, Daoist Sun has never liked these vulgar objects. He’s already handed the pearls to this old Taoist, preparing to present them to His Majesty, wishing our Emperor boundless longevity.” After speaking, he pulled out a very large flat box from his bosom. Opening it, inside were indeed twenty-four pearls. But however Yun Ye looked at them, they seemed like the set of pearls Sun Simiao had taken from his family treasury. The label tags on the box were still there—the four red characters “Yun Family Secret Collection” stamp were still on it. You should at least remove these things! When did I become that unlucky Dragon King of Jing River?

He pulled out a small knife from his bosom and carefully scraped off the numbering, then spat on the stamp marks and vigorously rubbed them away. Only then did he hand the box to Yuan Tiangang, saying:

“Daoist Sun’s virtue is illustrious, his medical skills unrivaled under heaven. Treating the Dragon King is nothing. One silver needle and naturally all illnesses vanish. Yours isn’t anything special. I’ve heard of something even more impressive. The story goes that once, Daoist Sun went to the mountains to gather herbs. Feeling somewhat tired, he planned to rest in a small mountain village. At that time, a woman in the mountain village who’d had a difficult birth had died, just been placed in a coffin and buried in the ground. Daoist Sun calculated with his fingers—not right! This woman still has forty years of life remaining, and will have descendants filling the house and pass away peacefully without illness. How could she die now? So he had people dig the woman up again. One needle—just one needle! Only the sound of an infant’s crying was heard coming from beneath the woman’s groin, and at that moment the woman also opened her eyes…” Yuan Tiangang gulped down a large mouthful of saliva, then saluted saying, “This old Taoist has also heard a bit about this matter…”

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