Yuanjia carefully carried a small teapot into the public office. The autumn days in Chang’an were damp and cold. After copying household registration records all morning, his waist and back were already aching. It wasn’t that his body was inadequate, but the Ministry of Revenue’s desks were truly life-threatening. Sitting cross-legged on the wooden floor, hunched over while working—the damage to one’s body was simply too great. Just looking at those old clerks walking around shaped like large shrimp filled him with worry about his own future. Without a doubt, if he continued working like this for twenty years, his fate would be no better than those old clerks.
He took a sip of hot tea and felt comfortable all over. The only problem was that the tea was a bit weak, but even so, it was still better than nothing. After leaving the academy, there was no longer any supply of tea leaves. He remembered that at the academy, tea leaves cost only three copper coins for a large packet, enough to last a month. Yesterday when the house ran out of tea, he sent Yuanbao to the West Market to buy some. Yuanbao searched all over the West Market before finally bringing back a small packet for her husband. After taking one sip, Yuanjia immediately spat it out—this wasn’t tea leaves, these were tree leaves.
Tea leaves were cheap goods only at the academy. Outside the academy, their value immediately skyrocketed a hundredfold. He had originally thought ten copper coins worth of tea would be enough for the whole family to drink for a month. Who knew they’d only get this tiny bit of tree leaves covered in dirt? Yuanbao felt terribly guilty about this and prepared to pawn her hairpin to buy tea for her husband, but Yuanjia soundly scolded her for it.
When he left the academy, he only had one set of bedding and several boxes of books. Yuanbao had even less—not even a change of clothes. Yaoniang went without saying. Three poor souls starting a household together naturally faced many difficulties. Fortunately, the court had considered these circumstances and issued them half a year’s salary in advance, which barely allowed them to scrape together a home.
Yaoniang wore plain blue clothes with a cloth wrapped around her head. Her previously plump body had slimmed down considerably, though that pair of papaya-like breasts showed no sign of shrinking. Because of this, Yaoniang had been dreaming for quite some time about returning to being a beauty.
Only the three of them lived in the two-courtyard compound. Yaoniang, accustomed to liveliness but afraid to go out on the street, could only press against the door crack to watch the excitement outside. Today a new official’s family was welcoming a new bride; tomorrow another new official was moving new furniture into his home—she could tell Yuanbao all about it at the dinner table with great animation.
When he left this morning, Yuanbao had secretly tucked a small packet of tea leaves into his book bag. The tiny oil paper package looked like it would only last three to five days, but Yuanjia didn’t mind. He never refused anything Yuanbao gave him. He knew that these past few days Yuanbao had been carrying a basket with pastries Yaoniang made to sell in Chongning Ward, and had perhaps earned a bit of money.
Zhuzong hurried in from outside. On this misty, cold day, his forehead was actually covered in sweat. His green robe was stretched tightly across his body, making him look like a silkworm. Seeing tea on Yuanjia’s desk, he grabbed it and drained it in one gulp, not stopping until not a single drop could be squeezed out.
“Zhuzong, you damn well know what I hate most is bastards who slurp up tea dregs, yet you insist on opposing me, don’t you?” Yuanjia had lost count of how many hundreds of times he’d protested. Though it was useless, whether he protested or not was his business; whether Zhuzong listened was his. People must defend their rights, mustn’t they?
“Spare me the nonsense. Finish up that bit of tea early and break yourself of the tea-drinking habit, so I don’t have to watch Yuanbao carrying a basket selling pastries in Chongning Ward. It’s heartbreaking to see.”
“Brother, that seems to be my wife. What are you heartbroken about?” Yuanjia asked, eyeing Zhuzong warily.
“Damn it, the wife of someone who placed in the top ten of this imperial examination spending all day carrying a basket hawking pastries—do you want any official reputation or dignity at all? I tried to give you silver and you refused. I secretly gave it to Yaoniang and you forced her to return it. We’re brothers, not those merchants with ulterior motives. You can pay me back when you have money. Why must you torment everyone around you?”
“Your silver is yours. I already owe you a lot. Back then we were still at the academy, we weren’t yet the ‘social people’ our teacher spoke of, so some financial entanglements didn’t matter. Now it’s different. I’m an independent person. I eat according to my ability. Yuanbao is my wife—it’s only natural she suffers hardship with me. Yaoniang has nowhere else to go, so she has no choice.”
“But tell me, what’s shameful about Yuanbao carrying a basket selling pastries?”
Zhuzong was so choked by Yuanjia’s words he nearly fell over. He waved his hand irritably and said, “I won’t argue with you anymore. Your words always carry the scent of ancient coffin wood. Have you finished calculating what I asked you to calculate? Hurry up and give it to me, I’m waiting to use it. Next time I won’t have my maid buy your family’s pastries. Yaoniang’s products always seem to carry a rank smell—I haven’t eaten a single bite.”
“Get lost. You’re a wealthy man, you should buy more. Today I’ll tell Yaoniang to make extra. Your whole family should eat them together to fulfill your duty as a friend.”
“I stayed up until midnight last night calculating this. The final result is that the court gains nothing and loses everything. To plug these legal and reasonable tax avoidance loopholes, they can only hurry to establish new regulations. Also, the commercial tax ratio isn’t appropriate. Different goods should be treated differently. The tax rate on grain needs to be low, while the tax rate on luxury goods needs to be hundreds or thousands of times higher. Additionally, our dynasty’s salt and iron tax rates are shockingly high, making it impossible for people in many places to afford salt. All of this should be included in tomorrow’s discussion.”
Zhuzong noted down Yuanjia’s words and tucked Yuanjia’s calculations into his robe. Just as he was about to leave, he heard Yuanjia say again, “When you buy Yuanbao’s pastries, don’t pick out the unappetizing ones. Take them as they come, so Yaoniang doesn’t get confused thinking the worst-tasting ones are the best sellers. We plan to open a pastry shop in the future—you’re driving me to bankruptcy, you know?”
Zhuzong fiercely flicked his sleeves, threw back his head and cursed once to express his anger, then hurried off to the Ministry of Rites. That bastard Wang Xuance actually strongly agreed with the Daoist sect’s proposal—couldn’t be more foolish. With his monkey face, he dared point at my nose and call me pig-brained?
“Look, these are the results calculated by that great talent Yuanjia. The Daoist sect will get rich from this move and permanently escape the ‘transfer tax’—this great weapon of the court—existing outside the Great Tang’s legal system. Wang Xuance, were your ancestors Daoist priests? Why are you working so tirelessly to speak for those hairy miscreants?”
“Let me think about it—don’t say that, my ancestors really did let their hair down and enter the mountains to become Daoist priests. But what does that have to do with my opinion? Who told you that this pig-brained fellow agreeing with the Daoists’ proposal would let their little tricks succeed?”
Zhuzong plopped down in the chair opposite Wang Xuance, about to scold him, but discovered the chair beneath him was quite comfortable to sit in. He couldn’t help asking, “How did you convince those old fossils to agree to bring tables and chairs into the Ministry of Rites’ public office? These past few days sitting hunched on the floor, my stomach nearly came out my throat.”
Wang Xuance said proudly, “Look, we all came from the academy. Sitting on the floor makes our butts ice-cold, our spines uncomfortable, our eyes bloodshot—we all know it’s bad. You all chose to keep quiet, so suffering is what you deserve.”
“Get lost! The Ministry of Rites has the strictest rules. Could they easily change regulations? I also suggested it to the department head and got cursed out terribly. They said young people should eat more bitterness, that in officialdom following established precedents is most important, that suffering now brings infinite benefits later. I’ve heard this nonsense until my ears have calluses. I just don’t want to become a shrimp in the future—there’s no reasoning to be had. Tell me, how did you manage it? Let me see if there’s any possibility of implementing it in the Ministry of Justice.”
Wang Xuance picked up a white silk handkerchief, wiped his hands, and said with a pained expression, “It really wasn’t easy. For this goal, I came early every day to wipe the desks for all the superiors, brew tea, and stood at the office door every day respectfully greeting each colleague and inquiring after their well-being. Honestly, I haven’t even been this filial to my own father.”
“The old gentlemen’s hands shake when eating, making it very difficult to pick up food. The department head is the same. I couldn’t bear to watch, so I bribed the kitchen staff to feed the old gentlemen green beans every day. Green beans stir-fried with water-soaked shrimp—that’s a famous dish from our academy. Green beans braised with red-cooked pork. I worried the gentlemen couldn’t eat soybeans, so I specifically had them switched to soft green beans. This way, every mealtime, watching the old gentlemen tremblingly pick up green beans that fell on the floor, my heart felt desolate. To achieve my goal, I had to inconvenience the gentlemen first, and I could rest a bit more each meal.”
“You’re not desolate, you’re wicked. Knowing their hands shake terribly, you still made them use chopsticks to pick up green beans. I can imagine what a miserable scene that was.”
“Nonsense! Green beans with shrimp are greatly beneficial to the elderly. Green beans with red-cooked pork are soft, mellow, and fragrant, melting in the mouth—most suitable for toothless elderly. The department head has already praised me no less than three times, saying that while the food budget hasn’t changed, the meals have improved by more than one grade. Just picking up the green beans is somewhat taxing—he asked if I had any solution.”
“Is this how you got the old gentlemen to agree to use tables and chairs?”
“How could it be that easy? To cultivate in the old gentlemen the habit of consulting me on such small matters, I provided them with silver spoons and silver forks. The department head wouldn’t let such a kind-hearted junior suffer losses, so he compensated me with fifty taels of silver. Of course, there was no need to tell the old master that I’d mixed tin into the silver spoons and forks.”
“Shameless! You actually embezzled public funds. Don’t ever say you know me.”
“Would someone from the academy be so worthless as to embezzle public funds? Besides, the old department head rewarded me because of my sincere and respectful heart, not because of a few silver spoons and forks. I never said they were pure silver. Spoons and forks without added tin lack sufficient hardness—do you think the old department head doesn’t know that? Those fifty taels of silver were actually a test to see if I’d be tempted. Your brother here is what kind of person? How could I fall for his scheme? I immediately took those fifty taels and found craftsmen from the Yun family to replace all the high windows in the public office with glass ones.”