HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 22: Hou Junji and the Eldest Miss of the Yun Family

Chapter 22: Hou Junji and the Eldest Miss of the Yun Family

The government troops and water bandits at Yuezhou confronted each other in the wind and rain. It seemed neither side had any desire to launch an attack first. Construction was impossible during the rainy season—they could only wait until it passed before truly determining the outcome. Everyone knew there were water bandits in Dongting Lake, but no one would have imagined the water bandits actually numbered as many as fifty thousand.

Those who knew kept silent, while those who didn’t were celebrating that their families already had large properties in the new city. Li Chengqian, returning to the capital, reported the Yuezhou affairs to his imperial father in complete detail. Li’er merely smiled wryly and never mentioned Yuezhou matters again, beginning to focus his attention on the steppe peoples instead.

Hou Junji was someone who could apply the Emperor’s edicts to their maximum extent. Leading the garrison troops from Great Tang’s thirteen provinces of Longyou and the vassal armies from the steppe, he swept back and forth repeatedly. Saying the great army left not a blade of grass growing wherever it went was somewhat exaggerated, but it was true that the blood on his butcher’s knife never dried. He greatly enjoyed such slaughter. Throughout the northern desert, terrifying tales of Demon King Hou spread far and wide.

In the morning, he ate the hearts of two young girls. At noon, he ate the hearts of four strong men, accompanied by fresh blood. In the evening, he didn’t eat people—he needed a change of taste. After eating an entire cow, he required six of the most beautiful young girls to attend his bedchamber. Those who didn’t please him would become his breakfast. A man’s reputation, like a tree’s shadow—wherever he went, people exhausted all means to pay him tribute. Of course, there were exceptions.

At a pasture beneath the Yin Mountains, lush grass blanketed the entire land. The earth was covered with blooming cosmos flowers everywhere. A chubby little girl ran ahead, with a gray-haired old woman chasing closely behind.

The four-year-old girl was at her most mischievous age. Her short little legs moved lightly across the grassland—how could an old woman possibly catch up? Panting heavily, the old woman braced her hands on her knees and called out loudly, “Little Miss, Little Miss, Xiao Mu, Xiao Mu, come back quickly! Your mother is about to return—be careful she doesn’t spank you!”

The Yun family’s eldest miss, Yun Mu, paid no heed and continued running up the slope. Her floral dress was soon covered with burr seeds from the grass until she stopped at the hilltop. Her two chubby little hands cupped around her mouth as she called out loudly, “Ah-oh, ah-oh!”

“Are you calling wolves?” Huan Niang finally reached the hilltop and indulgently held Yun Mu, scraping her little nose, then hugging and kissing her chubby cheeks repeatedly. Seeing the burr seeds all over her, she helped pick them off one by one. There were some in her hair too, hooked on firmly. Pulling them out would inevitably hurt. The little face twitched, but she absolutely wouldn’t cry out.

Huan Niang held the girl lovingly and muttered, “A perfectly good young lady from the Marquis’s household should be raised in the inner chambers. How did she end up brought to the steppe? Now look—she’s become a wild girl. When we return home, how will I explain this to the Marquis?”

“The Marquis is such a learned man. If he knew his daughter had become like this, who knows how upset he’d be. That Na Rimu really—if you wanted to return to the steppe, fine, but why bring the child back too? When the Marquis was about to leave for the battlefield, he carried his daughter and walked half the night. Anyone who saw it felt heartache. The Marquis has spoiled you beyond reason, agreeing to such things. Calamitous beauty!”

“I’m not a calamitous beauty! My mother is!” Yun Mu always heard the words “calamitous beauty” from Grandma Huan Niang and knew they weren’t good words, because when Mother heard these words, she always laughed heartily and even encouraged her to become a calamitous beauty too.

“Fine, fine, Xiao Mu isn’t a calamitous beauty—your mother is. Next spring, we’ll go to Chang’an to see your father. Then Xiao Mu must dress up beautifully. A refined and quiet little lady is what your father likes most. Don’t learn from your mother, who only knows how to herd sheep all day. A lady with official rank—how can she not put down the herding whip?”

When Yun Mu heard Grandma Huan Niang mention Father, she immediately turned and hugged Huan Niang’s neck, asking in a sweet childish voice, “Is my father a great hero? Can he wrestle down the strongest bulls on the steppe?”

“Of course! Your father is certainly a great hero. The heroes of the steppe all listen to him. He has many, many great ships, even larger than the camel-cities we live in. Back then, he led these great ships to the farthest east to wage war and conquered the most impregnable great city under heaven.”

“He’s also the smartest person under heaven. The family has a very large academy, and I hear that now daughters can also enter. In the future, Xiao Mu will go there too!”

“I like Father. Where is he?” Xiao Mu’s question made Huan Niang’s nose sting for a long while. She looked around, found the direction of Chang’an, and pointed it out to Yun Mu. “Chang’an is over there. When Xiao Mu reaches Chang’an, she can see Father. Father loves Xiao Mu most. When you were little, he held you night after night, never tiring of looking at you.”

Huan Niang felt sentimental, but Yun Mu wouldn’t feel sentimental. Soon her gaze was drawn to a black line at the horizon. She pointed into the distance for Huan Niang to see. Huan Niang looked and was shocked—from the slight trembling of the earth, this must be a large cavalry force. Unable to see the banners clearly, she could only hold Yun Mu and prepare to retreat into the bushes.

“Huan Niang, don’t worry. It’s General Hou’s cavalry.” Two black-robed old men walked over from the other side of the slope. One of them picked up Yun Mu and prepared to go down.

Yun Jiu was already waiting at the camp entrance with a beaming smile for General Hou’s arrival. A messenger had come earlier saying General Hou wanted to visit the Yun family’s eldest daughter.

Na Rimu’s status wasn’t sufficient for General Hou to personally visit. The General only came to the Yun family’s pasture as a guest under the pretext of seeing the younger generation. Na Rimu didn’t even have the qualification to receive him formally. This was why the two family retainers came to receive Yun Mu—she was the only person on the entire steppe who wasn’t afraid of General Hou. Every so often, whenever Old Hou passed by the Yin Mountains, he would come to see the Yun family’s eldest daughter. This time was no exception—he came willingly to be extorted.

The Yun family’s eldest miss stood on a wooden platform with her little hands folded across her chest, smiling as she watched the large cavalry force surge into the camp. Old Hou, wearing a dark red cloak and riding a fine horse, laughed heartily as he passed by the wooden platform. The Yun girl leaped and jumped into Hou Junji’s embrace, hugging his neck and sweetly calling, “Grandpa Hou!” This delighted Hou Junji so much he opened his mouth wide in laughter, holding the Yun girl high as he galloped a large circle before dismounting.

Hou Junji’s protocols were strict. The Yun girl could do as she pleased, but others didn’t have this privilege. Yun Jiu and Huan Niang had long since knelt on the ground in greeting. Seeing the two black-robed old men standing rigidly by the entrance, their eyes constantly watching the Yun girl, he immediately understood these two men’s identities. Only family retainers received such treatment. To a large extent, family retainers were the backbone pillars of a clan. How could Hou Junji not understand this clearly?

“Girl, your father really does dote on you—actually sending family retainers to this remote place. Only the eldest young master of a family would receive such treatment, yet at your young age, you already have it. Remarkable!” Saying this, he carried Yun Mu into the large tent.

Hou Junji unceremoniously sat in the seat of honor, placing Yun Mu beside him. The two family retainers sat in the lower seats to accompany him. Huan Niang quietly and carefully helped Hou Junji remove his cloak and take off his helmet, brought clean water, and attended to him washing his face. She then dampened a towel and wiped down the iron armor on Hou Junji’s body. This suit of armor was specially made by the Yun family, measured and forged specifically for Hou Junji. It fit him perfectly. Only armor manufactured by the Yun family could be wiped with water—other families’ armor would have rusted long ago if treated this way.

Yun Mu circled around Hou Junji, constantly asking this and that. The most outrageous question was whether Hou Junji had eaten people today. Her family only ate little sheep, not people—Old Hou would go hungry.

If anyone else asked this, Old Hou would have killed them eight times over. But when these words came from Yun Mu’s mouth, they made Old Hou proud. He bared his white teeth and chuckled, “The most fragrant and sweetest thing is actually you, girl. How about you satisfy Grandpa Hou’s hunger?”

“No good! I haven’t bathed for two days—I’m a stinky baby and won’t taste good. Grandpa Hou should eat little sheep instead. Grandma Huan Niang’s milk curds are also very delicious. Don’t eat this girl.”

The little one’s sly cunning made Hou Junji laugh heartily again. He beckoned, pulled the girl into his embrace, and poked her several times with his beard before releasing her. On the steppe, winds and clouds surged dramatically, situations changed moment by moment, and the fate of the entire northern desert rested on his shoulders alone. Only here could Hou Junji open his heart and rest thoroughly for a while.

Yun Jiu entered carrying a pot of freshly brewed hot tea with lowered head. On the wooden tray were also several kinds of pastries, quite simple—this was the steppe, and truly nothing better could be found.

He respectfully placed it before Hou Junji, then stood at the tent entrance with lowered head and hands hanging down, ready to answer any summons at any time. Hou Junji also had fine Yun family tea, but it never tasted as comfortable as drinking it at the Yun family’s place. Huan Niang filled a cup of tea and placed it on the low table. Hou Junji lightly sipped it—the tea’s temperature was perfect, just right for drinking. A mouthful of hot tea went down his throat, making his entire body feel comfortable. After drinking a cup of tea, Hou Junji asked the Yun family retainers, “What has Marquis Yun been doing lately? Is his health still well?”

This was a formal inquiry. Normally, elders didn’t inquire after juniors, but because of the family retainers, what Hou Junji was asking about was the Yun family’s head, not that junior he could discipline at any time.

Old Sun bowed in return and said, “Thank you for your concern, Duke Hou. The Master’s health is well. Before we departed, the Master specifically instructed us to convey his regards to Duke Hou on his behalf. The Master personally selected gifts that we must present to Duke Hou in person. Currently, the family head is at Dongting Lake preparing for a great battle with the water bandits. I imagine it won’t be long before news of victory arrives.”

Hou Junji nodded and said, “With his abilities, a rabble like that will be easy pickings—no need to worry. I wonder what gift he’s brought me. I’m looking after his precious daughter on the steppe for him—the gift can’t be too light.”

The Yun girl was currently busy eating her favorite osmanthus cakes and had no time to bother with what these adults were saying. Her chubby little hands worked both left and right, busy and thoroughly enjoying herself.

Family retainer Old Sun presented the gift list with both hands, then returned to his seat to see whether Hou Junji was satisfied with the family head’s gifts.

“Fifty jars of three-year-aged fine wine? Not bad. Secret recipe dried meat? I imagine it tastes good. But what is this canned food? Never mind other things—bring up the canned food first. Since it’s food, it must be excellent. Your master is so-so in other matters, but when it comes to eating, he’s absolutely an ancestral-level figure.”

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