HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 30: Ludongzan Who Wanted to Rob

Chapter 30: Ludongzan Who Wanted to Rob

Hou Junji was killing people—he killed eight in one go. Those eight scouts who had escaped back from the mountains—they had collectively deceived the army. That small path wound around endlessly as if it had no end. After walking more than fifty li into it, they were unwilling to go further. Those fallen comrades hadn’t died from falling—they had frozen to death. Fearing death themselves, they carefully fabricated lies, saying the small path was impassable.

As a result, when Hou Junji received Zhang Baoxiang’s report, the first thing he did was interrogate those eight scouts. After clarifying the facts, Hou Junji ordered their beheading. After Hou Junji finished killing the men, the commanding officer of the Bai Qi Si quietly dispatched a secret memorial. Hou Junji himself also wrote a memorial requesting punishment, which was carried away by an eight-hundred-li express courier with a red feather urgent dispatch.

Yun Mu didn’t know who Ludongzan was, but how could Hou Junji not know what kind of figure this was? The Grand Minister of Tubo, below one person and above ten thousand—the entire eastern Tubo region was his territory. A true figure wielding real power. For such a person to come down from the plateau, he absolutely had major matters to discuss with Great Tang. He wouldn’t be an ordinary envoy and couldn’t be treated lightly.

Five hundred Great Tang cavalry quickly galloped out from the camp gates where eight heads were hanging and raced toward the Yun family ranch under Yinshan. No matter what, they had to first bring him to Shuozhou and couldn’t let him enter the Central Plains through Longyou. Envoys were generally spies. If someone like Ludongzan, a master of military strategy, got to survey all of Great Tang’s border defenses, who knew if it would leave hidden dangers?

The chieftain of the Three Flower tribe felt as bitter as if he’d eaten bitter herbs, yet his face was full of smiles. Originally, it should have been him sitting in the Yun family’s great hall receiving thanks. Now it had been replaced by another person—this person was Ludongzan.

Ludongzan’s words always counted. If he said he would send the dog slave’s family, he sent them without ambiguity. As for the Three Flower family being ransacked—that wasn’t within his consideration. He very much wanted to see that spiritually beautiful little girl again. To find an excuse, he thoroughly searched the Three Flower household, found the dog slave’s wife in Three Flower’s bedroom, found the dog slave’s son in the sheep pen, threw them in the river to wash them clean, then made a grand and ostentatious visit.

He didn’t visit Na Rimu but rather the Yun family’s noble young lady—the one with family retainers. Noble etiquette was executed very properly. First, the dog slave’s wife and son were sent over, then came the visiting card and gifts. Very generous—even the gatekeeper received something. Finally, out of necessity, Huan Niang brought the little girl out to receive him.

Seeing the little girl again, Ludongzan was very happy. Silver plates covered with red silk were filled with various foreign jewelry, colorfully dazzling and very beautiful.

“Showing excessive courtesy for no reason—one is either a traitor or a thief!” Yun Mu loudly spoke this phrase. Huan Niang’s face turned green. She now knew what status the person before them held—he couldn’t be slighted. But Ludongzan burst into loud laughter. This was right! Precocious children should be like this. Quiet, wooden children like statues—he had never liked those.

“Well said! This is good reasoning. Little girl, look—I have countless rare treasures here and countless servants. As long as you’re willing to become my daughter-in-law, they’ll all be yours.”

Ludongzan’s words were extremely rude. Who would bypass a person’s elders and nakedly tempt a several-year-old little girl with treasures like this? It was as if as long as the little girl agreed, he wouldn’t care about anything else. Old Sun and Old Liu had already prepared to fight to the death.

Huan Niang smiled slightly, casually examined the gifts Ludongzan had sent, then brought out a basket from behind the curtain. It was full of Yun Mu’s toys. She showed them to Ludongzan one by one.

“Noble sir, please look. These are our young lady’s toys. Look at this glass bead—inside is an image of our young lady from her full-month celebration. She was still in swaddling clothes then, but ah, her spiritual nature was already showing.”

A fist-sized, exquisitely clear glass bead made Ludongzan’s eye twitch. All the glass he’d just given combined wasn’t worth a tenth of this piece’s value.

“Noble sir, look further. These are the beads our young lady uses to practice counting—all the finest East Sea pearls, all the same size, numbered, a full hundred of them.”

“This is the item from our young lady’s first birthday grab ceremony. This big-headed baby doll is said to be an old object from the Han Dynasty, originally an imperial toy, previously in the palace collection. The Crown Princess sent it over during the grab ceremony, saying it would add auspicious energy.”

“Now this is really something—it’s Lord Hou’s, General Hou’s former seal and ribbon. During the grab ceremony, our young lady didn’t grab anything else, just held onto General Hou’s seal and ribbon and wouldn’t let go. There was no way to give it to the young lady, so General Hou made an identical one, just with different engraving on the bottom, inscribed with the four characters ‘Playing on the Palace Terrace.'”

“As for this golden crown, it’s said to be a Western Regions king’s crown. Too heavy—our young lady doesn’t like it…”

Ludongzan’s face changed from ruddy to the color of an eggplant in an instant. Fortunately, having weathered many storms, he regained his composure in a moment. It was just that the things he’d sent as generous gifts couldn’t even match this child’s toys, which made him somewhat ashamed. His face burned fiercely.

It seemed this place was extremely prosperous. Perhaps he could plunder it. That way, he’d have sufficient resources to use when going to Chang’an. Having made up his mind, he examined Yun Mu’s toys one by one, watching Yun Mu picking at cheese curds—the more he looked, the more he liked her.

Tubo people were naturally inclined to plunder. Whatever they could snatch back was theirs, including wives. Robbery—not only did Ludongzan do it often, even Songtsen Gampo did it frequently. Robbing the Yun family posed no psychological burden whatsoever for Ludongzan. In his view, this was the most convenient, most expedient solution to difficult problems.

Seeing the gleam in Ludongzan’s eyes, Huan Niang finally pulled out a very sturdy small glass bottle from her bosom. Holding it in her hand, she said to Ludongzan: “Noble sir will probably come tonight to take away the young lady. Robbery is a Tubo custom—the big rob the small, the young rob the old, the strong rob the weak, those with greater power rob those with less, just like how strong eaglets in a nest push weak eaglets out to fall to their deaths. All are ancestral teachings.”

“In earlier years, the Turks were the same. This servant has witnessed countless acts of plunder and was herself plundered many times, so I’m not at all unfamiliar with robbery.”

Ludongzan looked at Huan Niang appreciatively and said: “You’re indeed not bad. If you were a bit younger, I might have snatched you back too. But you’re old now, your beauty is gone. What a pity.”

Yun Jiu walked into the room, saw the glass bottle in Huan Niang’s hand, and was greatly alarmed. He leaped out at once, pointing at Huan Niang and shouting: “Why did you bring that thing out? You’re fine, but will people within a hundred li radius still live?”

Hearing this, Ludongzan’s smile suddenly froze. What thing could kill people within a hundred li radius? But in a moment, he calmed down again. A battlefield commander being frightened by such words would be too laughable.

“You don’t believe it?” Huan Niang asked Ludongzan with a smile.

Ludongzan shook his head. Without even looking at the bottle in Huan Niang’s hand, he said leisurely: “The most terrifying thing in a bottle would be nothing more than poison. There doesn’t seem to be any poison with such an effect. Southern border’s gu poison is ultimately just a joke. Killing people within a hundred li radius—I can’t believe you’d say such a thing.”

“Thirty years ago, on the Monan grasslands, a disease suddenly appeared. It began with small bumps all over the body, red spots, then fever, coughing, then coma. Finally, the whole body would be covered with pustules. Even if one survived, one’s appearance would be ruined, looking like an evil ghost, not daring to see people. I wonder if the Grand Minister knows the final outcome at Monan?”

“Thirty years ago? You’re talking about the Slave Pox? That place naturally became desolate for a thousand li with no human habitation. Don’t tell me the bottle in your hand contains this demon, the Slave Pox.” Ludongzan gradually became alert.

“Three years ago, my master and the old immortal Sun Simiao together developed something called a vaccine. Then our family’s people no longer feared the Slave Pox. What kind of people are on the grasslands—my Lord Marquis knows very clearly. So he gave this servant a bottle of Slave Pox. Obviously, it’s right here before you.”

“The Slave Pox can be cured?”

“It can’t be cured, only prevented.”

“If I come tonight, what will you do?”

“Smash the bottle!”

“Fine, you win. If you’re lying, when I return from Chang’an, everyone here will die.” After tapping the table for a while, Ludongzan said very seriously to Huan Niang.

Huan Niang laughed very happily, covering her mouth and saying: “If you can escape with your life from my Lord Marquis’s hands, then we can talk. Our family’s messenger has already set out. If something happens to us, the Marquis will definitely personally make a trip to the plateau to find you. At that time, who knows how many Tubo people will still be alive.”

“Tang people can’t get up to the plateau. We’re the ones who beat you up.” Ludongzan felt this trip to the Yun family was very worthwhile. Whether or not what this woman said was true, he wasn’t planning to take the risk. The Slave Pox was truly too terrifying.

“I don’t know if others have gone up, but my Lord Marquis has been there. Once he was telling Madam about affairs on the plateau. This servant listened with rapt attention. Something about ‘soft water winding around mighty mountains, jade walls and golden rivers, roaring giant waves reaching to the clouds, wrapped in silver adorned delicate and beautiful, fan-shaped peaks standing tall, mist winding around the waist.’ This servant has no learning and couldn’t understand. May I ask, noble sir, do you know where this is?”

Huan Niang had truly heard Yun Ye describe the scene of Jade Dragon Snow Mountain to Na Rimu. Those poem-like phrases—Huan Niang had memorized a few. Speaking them to Ludongzan now was quite appropriate.

How could Ludongzan not recognize it? The Great Snow Mountain was within his territory. Those familiar scenes he’d watched since childhood—how could he not know them? Someone had easily infiltrated his homeland, and he had known nothing of it. Truly damnable.

After a moment of silence, he asked Huan Niang: “Who is your master?”

“Marquis Lantian Yun Ye, Yun Buqi. Ludongzan, don’t provoke him. You can’t afford to. Even now when you go to Chang’an, you’ll be ruthlessly struck by him. Do you Tubo people all create trouble for yourselves like this?”

Zhang Baoxiang walked in from outside, still wearing his armor.

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