HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 44: Making Dumplings

Chapter 44: Making Dumplings

Han Zhe discovered that Yun Ye did these things very easily. After kneading the dough, he held a porcelain basin and used chopsticks to stir the meat mixture inside, his movements skilled and elegant. Could cooking and eating really be such an interesting activity?

“Don’t smell the pajamas when you have nothing to do—it’s very disgusting. I lent you the clothes to wear, not for you to have improper thoughts about me. Sitting there waiting to eat already makes you a lord. If you have any more disgusting thoughts, I’ll lock you up with the water bandits.”

Han Zhe’s face turned green. He coughed twice and said, “I also dislike men. If I didn’t lack clothes to wear, I’d rather die than wear someone else’s clothes. Only yours are barely tolerable. By the way, why do you like cooking? Isn’t that something only servants do?”

“You don’t understand a damn thing. This is a kind of pleasure, just like some people enjoy brewing wine and some enjoy making tea. I just happen to enjoy cooking. I don’t like what others make. In the past, my master and I both ate what I cooked. When I was ten, I stood on wooden blocks to cook rice. Although life was hard then, it was carefree. It’s nothing like now, with bastards like you constantly sending me corpses, laboring both heart and body.”

Hearing Yun Ye mention his predecessor, Han Zhe involuntarily sat up straight to show respect. After thinking for a moment, he asked strangely, “You mean you don’t like that feeling of commanding the wind and rain while standing in the imperial court?”

“I command the wind and rain only because you forced me to. I was squeezed by others, so I took on this assignment. I didn’t expect to play it so big. If it weren’t for you causing trouble, I would have arranged everything here at most, then gone back to Yushan to live a leisurely life. Who has time to toy with fools all over the world? On hot days, wouldn’t it be nice for me to sleep under a big tree?”

As Yun Ye spoke, he wrapped dumplings. Rolling the skin and filling them was done in one fluid motion. In no time, a large row was arranged on the reed-woven tray. While talking, he stood on tiptoes to look into the cabin—why hadn’t Little Lingdang come out yet?

He tossed a head of garlic to Han Zhe for him to help peel. Watching Han Zhe’s clumsy manner, he sighed and said, “Your life skills are too poor. Living in this world with clothes handed to you and food placed in your mouth is meaningless. We come to this world and should experience everything. Even if you’re the only person left in the entire world, you should be able to live well. Humans are the highest of all beings. This world should be ours. Using all the conditions at hand to make yourself live better—that’s the meaning of being human.”

Han Zhe finally finished peeling the garlic and placed it in a small porcelain bowl. Smelling his hands, he went to the water basin beside him to wash. Without using the cloth towel there, he shook the water droplets from his hands and came to stand behind Yun Ye to watch him make dumplings.

“Many people like to chop the meat filling into mince. Let me tell you a secret—dumplings made with meat cut into fine cubes taste better. I don’t tell just anyone this.”

Han Zhe sighed and said, “I can already imagine how relaxed and carefree your days used to be, unlike mine. I’ve been unstable since birth. Let me tell you something—Han Nu is actually my brother, my blood brother.”

“I could tell. When I had people collect their bodies, I discovered it. Although their body types differed greatly, your features between the eyebrows are still very similar. For thousands of years, you’ve been intermarrying within a small circle. Though your bloodline becomes increasingly close, the probability of deformities, idiocy, and mental deficiency becomes very high. From how you trained Han Nu into an invincible fierce warrior, people like Han Nu are definitely not few in number.”

“But you still killed them.” Han Zhe felt somewhat sad. His feelings toward Han Nu were complex—some pity, some hatred. As long as Han Nu lived, his only use was to tell him how fortunate he himself was.

“Han Nu was too dangerous. They’re not controlled by intelligence, only swayed by emotions. If not eliminated, they’re a threat to us. I never take risks. This kind of uncertain factor must be removed. Han Zhe, don’t you think it’s cruel? Death might actually be the final liberation for them.”

“I know some methods of training Han Nu. Not one can be called humane. Without intelligence, you can only train instinct, making combat as instinctive as breathing. The process is so cruel, the methods so brutal—I don’t need to explain it to you, Han Zhe. Every year this instinct needs reinforcement. Previous stimulation methods stop working, so only more cruel methods can be used. Though I don’t know what methods you used, the methods I know are only suitable for wild beasts. Training your brother like a wild beast, Han Zhe—don’t you feel heartbroken?”

“The higher the martial prowess, the more obvious the training’s effectiveness. His martial prowess was all born from suffering. In the end, wasn’t he still destroyed just the same? Han Zhe, how much longer did these two Han Nu have before their destruction?”

“Where did you bury them?” Han Zhe asked in return rather than answering.

“At the foot of Dulong Peak. The scenery is nice. The feng shui master said it’s excellent auspicious soil. I buried the wooden spheres with them as grave goods.” Yun Ye finished wrapping the last dumpling, patted the flour from his hands, and sat across from Han Zhe.

“Thank you. Do you know that many Han Nu are ultimately sent into volcanic craters to become flying ash, and they’re sent in alive? That these two can have tombs is great fortune.”

Looking at Han Zhe’s bitter face, Yun Ye glanced at the cabin door again. Seeing Lingdang still hadn’t come out, he said to Han Zhe, “Say a few less words. Don’t you know the principle that too many words lead to mistakes? A single volcanic crater is enough for me to pinpoint several locations on Great Tang’s territory. We’re still enemies now. If I learn where your lair is, you’re finished.”

Han Zhe laughed heartily and pointed at Yun Ye, saying, “So what if you know? Sooner or later you’ll have to go there.”

“I won’t go. If I want to bathe in hot springs, I can do so in Chang’an. Do you find it comfortable smelling sulfur in that place? Volcanoes have never been anything benign. Be careful that one day the volcano erupts. I won’t need to find you—you’ll destroy yourselves. I generally don’t go within three hundred li of a volcano.”

Seeing Little Lingdang emerge from the cabin, Yun Ye began pounding garlic and preparing red oil and vinegar sauce. He just needed to wait for the water to boil before cooking the dumplings. After Little Lingdang exchanged greetings with Han Zhe, she came over to help.

“Your lady wife is truly a rare beauty with both inner and outer grace. Brother Yun has great fortune.”

“Naturally. I have four such good fortunes. Haha, that’s also something I can show off about in front of you. From the fact that Han Nu is your brother, which relative are you planning to marry?”

Little Lingdang, hearing her husband’s words that seemed like cursing, couldn’t help but look apologetically at Han Zhe, only to find Han Zhe smiling bitterly as he patted the chair’s armrest, saying, “If I married my blood sister, would Brother Yun come to congratulate me?”

“No. If possible, I would kill you beforehand to prevent you from destroying human ethics.”

“You must keep your word—you absolutely must keep your word. If I reach the point where I must marry my sister, remember to strike hard, Brother Yun. My heart is on the right side, not the left. Don’t get it wrong. If you could cut off my head, that would be best.” Han Zhe earnestly instructed Yun Ye.

Little Lingdang discovered she couldn’t understand what the two men were talking about. One wanted to marry his blood sister, one wanted to kill someone, and one was happily preparing to be killed. What was wrong with her husband?

Yun Ye used a strainer to scoop the dumplings from the pot and placed them on a plate. Little Lingdang delivered them to Han Zhe’s side and also brought over the prepared small vegetables and dipping dishes for the guest.

Han Zhe had never eaten at a family feast and was somewhat awkward, but he quickly regained his composure. He picked up a dumpling, dipped it in the sauce, put it in his mouth, and closed his eyes to savor it slowly.

“It’s really quite good, better than all the wontons I’ve eaten before. Moreover, the way of eating is very fresh. Perhaps this is the correct way to eat wontons. What is this red stuff? The taste is somewhat like dogwood, but the fragrance is much richer.”

“These are dumplings. Only when served together with soup are they wontons. The red stuff is called chili pepper. It’s a spice. Not many people grow it now. It seems only the Yun Family estate has it. You can’t find it anywhere else.”

Women couldn’t sit at the table. Little Lingdang held a porcelain bowl and sat on a small stool watching her husband and the guest eat and chat, seeming very harmonious. This was good. As long as they didn’t quarrel, that was the best outcome.

After finishing the dumplings and drinking the dumpling soup, Little Lingdang cleared the table and brought them each a small jar of grape wine, specially chilled with ice.

Today on Dongting Lake, the water was calm without waves, the sky clear for thousands of miles. Though there were no wild geese calling from Hengyang or fishermen’s songs answering each other, along the lake shore there were fish eagles darting about, and from the reed clusters, larks would occasionally shoot straight into the blue sky. After several rises and falls, they disappeared without trace.

“I’m telling the truth. If I really have to marry my sister, help me—kill me.”

“I’m also telling the truth. I won’t stand by and watch a human tragedy unfold unmoved. If you think killing you isn’t good, I can kill your sister instead. As long as one dies, it’s a great liberation for the other person.”

“Better to kill me. This time I failed. You’ll send me to see the Emperor. After that, I’ll have no status in the clan. Little sister is different—she can still live gloriously. She hasn’t yet felt this kind of pain I have. She can still live more happily. Using one painful life to exchange for one joyful life—no matter how you calculate this account, it’s worth it.”

Yun Ye pinched the base of the glass cup and looked at the distant sun through the grape wine. Heaven and earth turned a dark red. The entire world seemed soaked in fresh blood. Seeing a fish eagle dive headfirst into the water, emerge with a plump fish, and fly up again, suddenly crossing that blood-like world and returning to the blue sky, Yun Ye’s heart filled with infinite joy.

“If I’m the one sending you back to Chang’an, I guarantee I can deliver you intact to the imperial palace. However, the Emperor has sent someone else to receive you. They’ll arrive tomorrow. I have no need to overstep my bounds. I’ll just hand you over to them. Han Zhe, it seems our battle isn’t over. I enjoy fighting with you. Fighting with you, I always gain something new.”

“If you didn’t use those strange methods, perhaps I would escape.”

“What does that have to do with me? As long as you don’t escape from my hands, the rest has nothing to do with me.”

The two men lightly clinked their wine cups and drained them in one gulp…

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