HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 02: Two Poor Ghosts

Chapter 02: Two Poor Ghosts

Han Zhe was so furious he was about to explode, yet Pang Zhun sat to the side smiling as he drank tea. Ever since they had dispatched the old man three days ago, Pang Zhun had been in this state—smiling while eating, smiling while drinking water, smiling while sleeping, and even smiling when getting angry. In his view, as long as the old man was dead, there was nothing in this world that could make him cry.

White Stone Palace was enormous—so enormous it enraged Han Zhe. In the valley alone, there were sixteen hundred servants, while the masters numbered only three: himself, Chi’er, and Pang Zhun.

“You’re saying that of the money and grain we earn in a year, the four of us spend eighty percent, and what’s left is for Han Nu and these servants? I don’t recall spending much money. Chi’er has been at the academy these past few years and hasn’t had much expenditure either. Even if you married ten wives, you couldn’t spend this much money, could you?”

Pang Zhun said with a smile: “The three of us basically don’t spend money. The money was all spent by the dead old man. A single dose of Cold Food Powder is worth ten thousand gold pieces, and the old bastard used one dose a day. I still haven’t figured out what fine grain is, but half of the annual expenses went to this. However, we have a great deal of cinnabar. The dead old man had been hoarding cinnabar, all of the highest grade. I went to the warehouse and looked—it’s piled up like a mountain.”

The first thing Han Zhe did upon taking over White Stone Palace was to light all the lamps. The second thing was to allow the servants to leave the cave and wander around the valley. The results weren’t good—the eyes of over a hundred people immediately became red, swollen, and teared up from the fierce sunlight, rendering them unable to see anything. The consequences of eating a full meal were also severe—two people died from overeating. After removing the iron chains from Han Nu’s body, Han Nu accidentally killed another seven or eight servants while scratching his itches.

Previously, in the Southern Seas, he had seen Yun Ye command tens of thousands of people in an orderly fashion. Why was it that when it came to himself, he hadn’t issued a single order that didn’t result in deaths? Things were already chaotic enough, and then Pang Zhun brought over the account books with a simple statement: out of money.

“In the past when we ran out of food, how did we solve it?” Han Zhe wanted to borrow from previous methods.

“Very simple—we sent Han Nu to rob people. This is the highlands. The pastures down the mountain are extremely lush, and there are always herdsmen who come here to graze their flocks. Kill the herdsmen, bring back the cattle and sheep, and that’s it. The Tubo people are very foolish. Year after year of killing, yet people keep coming to their deaths, all voluntarily. The Bon religion’s masters tell them that those who disappeared were taken to heaven by the immortals.”

This couldn’t continue. Han Zhe was certain that living as a parasite sucking blood from others would never work. Yun Ye had once told him about the origins of mysterious religions—if you want to exist for ten thousand generations, you must be self-reliant and cannot add to others’ burdens. Only by continuously giving people benefits and spiritual comfort can you be a good religion. White Stone Palace was located at the border between Han and Tibetan territories. If they wanted to deepen their influence, they had to make everyone like them. This was simple to say but very difficult to do.

“Second Uncle, haven’t you always been doing business on the great river? What business exactly were you running?”

“You’d better not ask. I don’t want to talk about it, and I’ll never touch it again in the future. You just need to know that it was the most vicious business in the mortal world. That I could still father four Han Nus while doing such business already shows Heaven’s mercy.”

“Load up all the cinnabar. I’m going to Chang’an. Economize on the food at home. When there’s no more food, have Han Nu go rob, but we won’t kill people anymore. I always feel there’s something going on here, like something’s not right. You all guard the home well. I’ll bring back large quantities of grain. Don’t activate the divine slaves anymore either. Whenever divine slaves are activated, there are endless messes to clean up, and it won’t be good if we provoke trouble with the Great Tang Emperor.”

Over the past two years, Han Zhe had finally gained a realistic understanding of the power wielded by the Great Tang Emperor. If White Stone Palace remained unexposed, fine, but once exposed, it would be immediately destroyed. The Li surname Emperor had this capability.

Although White Stone Palace was about to go hungry, everyone was actually quite happy. Sometimes, people’s demands are pitifully low—their current request was merely to be able to bask in the sun.

White Stone Palace enjoyed brilliant sunshine, while Chang’an remained under continuous autumn rain. After this rain stopped, winter would descend. The pandas had occupied the academy’s hay shed. Though extremely hungry, not a single panda thought about going into the rain to eat bamboo. They were all waiting for the bell to ring—once the bell sounded, there would be food. Several young pandas made kitten-like sounds, constantly burrowing into the big pandas’ embrace. Although they had been weaned long ago, they still had this expectation.

Li Zhi’s stomach was also rumbling. He had gotten up a bit late this morning. He wanted to go eat breakfast but worried about that teacher wearing the iron mask, so he had remained hungry until now. That was a person who never smiled. After the accompanying students had all left, he still stubbornly studied wolf packs, studied beehives, and would even study ants. Today’s lesson was taught by him on the Age of Sage Kings. Heaven knows how he knew the history of the Yao, Shun, and Yu period. Especially the matter of Great Yu jumping out of his father’s belly had become a laughingstock among the academy’s male students. In the dormitory, there were already dozens of versions about Great Yu’s origins.

“Emperor Yao discovered that Shun was a worthy man and visited three times before abdicating the imperial throne to Shun. Shun was very reluctant to inherit the emperor’s position.”

“Because Gonggong crashed into Mount Buzhou and collapsed it, the Heavenly River poured down to flood the mortal world. Goddess Nuwa refined stones to mend the heavens and went to the Eastern Sea to hack off four legs of a giant turtle to barely stabilize the earth. However, the leg supporting the southeastern direction was a bit short, so the earth tilts to the southeast.”

“When discussing sage kings, why must we mention ancient myths? I’ve always felt there’s a huge question here. The Age of Sage Kings has always been considered the best period, so why were there still so many disasters? I believe there’s a mentality supporting this perception…”

Through the window, Li Zhi could see in the distance that the stoves in the dining hall had begun emitting black smoke. Once black smoke appeared, it meant all the food was ready. Now they were banking the fires. Servants carrying large baskets began walking toward where the pandas were. If nothing unexpected happened, in ten more breaths, the bell for dismissal would ring.

The bell rang. The teacher reluctantly put down his book and said no more, crisply announcing the end of class. After the students respectfully saw off the teacher, they exploded with a roar, rushing toward the dormitories to fetch their food bowls. Young people seemed to be perpetually in a state of hunger.

Li Zhi walked leisurely toward the dining hall holding his food bowl. Today he didn’t need to go to the dormitory to fetch these things. Ever since Zhang Jianzhi graduated, he had to do everything personally, including going to the dining hall to get food.

Li Zhi struggled to squeeze out from the crowd. It was very difficult to get a meal at the academy—it required extraordinary wisdom and courage. His foot had just been stepped on painfully by some bastard, he didn’t know who. The chaotic situation only occurred at the men’s window. The women’s window appeared much more elegant. Holding his food bowl and watching the chattering women across the way was one of the few benefits for academy men.

Finding a table to sit at, Li Zhi wolfed down several mouthfuls of rice, then felt he couldn’t eat anymore. The disaster situation in his Jinzhou fief was more severe than expected. Drought in spring and summer, excessive rain in autumn, and it even came with frost—this was clearly not letting people eat! How did he end up with such a fief? Nine years of drought out of ten, with floods in the remaining year.

A dirty person carrying a large bowl of noodles sat across from Li Zhi. There was no way to connect this laborer-like young man with the son of the Vice Minister of Revenue. His hands were wrapped in linen strips with bloodstains faintly seeping through, but he didn’t care at all, eating his noodles in large mouthfuls.

“Are you building a Mountain of Tears or a Mountain of Sweat?” Li Zhi asked Pang Yuhai after swallowing a piece of potato.

“Mountain of Sweat. I swore not to shed a single tear. It’s already six feet high. In another month it will be complete. I’ve locked horns with this artificial mountain. Consider it tempering my will. Li Zhi, be careful. The academy seems not quite confident in the temperament of us noble offspring and wants to temper our will through building artificial mountains. Previously I didn’t pay much attention, but this time when I was punished, I carefully looked at the roster. Eighty percent of those building artificial mountains are either wealthy or noble. The academy did it deliberately. Though I, Pang Yuhai, was pampered and spoiled since childhood, I’ve endured all the hardships I should have endured. The academy really underestimates our will.”

Li Zhi shook his head and said: “I don’t have time to make mistakes. Jinzhou is sufficient to temper my will. Having been assigned such a fief, I estimate I’ll have to struggle against it my entire life.”

Pang Yuhai chuckled and said: “My elder cousin was once all-powerful at the academy, but when positions were assigned, he went to Jinzhou. As a result, he got stuck there and couldn’t get out. Everyone thought his official career was finished, but he gritted his teeth and achieved political results. Now he’s Assistant Director of the Ministry of Rites. Who dares look down on him?”

“In the imperial court, those without ability simply can’t survive. Although Jinzhou is poor, as long as you govern it well, once you succeed, the benefits received cannot compare to those wealthy fiefs.”

“Damn it, so even I have days when I eat a bowl of noodles and still haven’t eaten my fill. I’m going to get another half bowl.”

Watching the unfortunate Pang Yuhai, Li Zhi’s mood improved. He had already done his utmost for the commoners of his fief. The money given by First Brother, Third Brother, Fourth Brother, and Sixth Brother had all been converted into grain and sent by Zhang Jianzhi along the post roads to the fief. Thinking more about it now was useless. Pang Yuhai was right—just sweat it out. Why shed tears?

Pang Yuhai returned winking and making faces, biting a large piece of cake in his mouth with another piece stuck on his chopsticks. There was no cake on the men’s side today—only the women’s side had cake to eat every day. Pang Yuhai shook the cake off his chopsticks into Li Zhi’s plate. After eating the cake in his mouth, he affectionately put his arm around Li Zhi and asked: “Who’s that little girl over there with the round face and two dimples? She specifically had me bring cake over to you. Sorry, but I ate one piece. You can eat the cake, but those girls are best left alone. The academy has two greatest prohibitions: first, no jumping down from Eagle Beak Cliff; second, no bothering the female academy students. Violating either of these is punished severely. I’m building an artificial mountain—you shouldn’t join in the excitement.”

“Get lost! That’s my sister.” Li Zhi said in great anger.

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