HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 36: The Great General's Troubles

Chapter 36: The Great General’s Troubles

In the early morning, sunlight covered the ground. Yun Ye leaped down from the offering table, and without looking at the sun, he knew today would be a good day. For Yun Ye, whether a day was good had nothing to do with whether there was sunshine or not.

Xiao Miao had already risen early and was taking a walk in front of the Mountain God Temple with Hou Jie’s wife. Hou Junji’s concubine was also there, and the three women were watching the cook show off his culinary skills.

The Yun Family’s cook was always proud—this was the dignity that an expert craftsman must possess. A cleaver in his hands was no less impressive than a treasured sword in the hands of a master swordsman. After a rapid series of knife strikes against the cutting board, a large radish had been transformed into gleaming white radish threads.

While heating sesame oil, he said to Feng Niang, “Young Madam, the radishes in this Lingnan region are too fibrous and don’t taste good—they’re wasting this humble servant’s skills. You’re with child, and the Old Madam has instructed this humble servant to take good care of you. After riding in a carriage for several days, radish is something that clears the heart, moistens the lungs, reduces internal heat, and aids digestion—it’s perfect for you. When you pour the sesame oil over it, it’s most crisp and refreshing.”

Feng Niang listened and nodded repeatedly. Xiao Miao also nodded along. The cook showed off by lifting the large wok with one hand, pouring the boiling sesame oil over the scallions and garlic. The fragrance filled the air, and Xiao Miao happily clapped her hands in approval.

The cook worked quickly. He took out six fresh meat buns from the steaming bamboo steamer, arranged them on a plate, and placed three bowls of corn porridge on a large wooden tray together with them. Seeing that Xiao Miao had already picked up the tray, he quickly called out to stop her and added four more meat buns to the plate—he had almost forgotten about Xiao Miao’s large appetite.

After washing up, Yun Ye walked over, lifted the steamer lid himself, took two meat buns, and picked up a bowl of thin porridge to sit on a stone and eat. The other household guards and escorts also came over, lining up to get their own food. Just as everyone was eating breakfast, the sound of urgent horse hooves approached. At the loud shout from the guards on watch duty, the sound of hooves stopped, and a series of rapid footsteps came from far to near.

Bearded Duan He’s eyes were both red. From a distance, he clasped his fists and laughed loudly, saying, “Brother Duan has been rude! I should have invited Brother Yun into the city last night, but unfortunately the Xuanjia Army has strict military discipline. The military rule of closing the gates at sunset is something that Brother Duan absolutely dare not violate. I beg Brother Yun’s understanding.”

Hearing this fellow talk made him angry. Your Xuanjia Army has strict military discipline—does that mean my subordinates spend all day violating military discipline?

Yun Ye put down his rice bowl and laughed loudly, saying, “Where does Brother Duan get such talk? You and I both eat from the military’s rice bowl. Military discipline is something that truly hurts when it’s beaten onto your buttocks. However, little brother still greatly admires Brother Duan’s methods.”

Laughing loudly before speaking was a foul habit in the military. Every general spoke this way, as if not doing so would be insufficient to display a soldier’s heroic temperament. The higher the official rank, the longer the laughter. The reason the Great Tang didn’t establish the position of Grand Marshal of All Military Forces Under Heaven was the fear that before battle even began, one would be laughed to death.

“Brother Duan, you’ve come at just the right time—it’s breakfast time. The troops under little brother’s command aren’t worth much, but this cook is very capable indeed. If we claim first place in the military, absolutely no one would dare claim second. Military food must be tasted.”

Duan He wasn’t polite either, rubbing his belly and saying, “I won’t hide it from you, younger brother—your older brother has been busy all night long and hasn’t had a drop of water or grain of rice until now. Since I’ve arrived at your place, not eating a meal would be doing myself a disservice. Bring more.”

The cook quickly brought over a plate of meat buns and filled a basin with porridge. Duan He smiled happily, wolfed down the buns like a whirlwind, then poured the basin of thin porridge into his mouth—that counted as finishing his meal. Just as he was about to invite Yun Ye into the city, he discovered there were women over there. He couldn’t help but frown and say, “The Northern Court is currently in chaos and turmoil, and precisely needs Brother Yun to display an iron fist to suppress it. Why have you not rushed to the capital on fast horses to receive orders to go north? What’s the reason for bringing women?”

Yun Ye put down his rice bowl and asked Duan He curiously, “Does this mean Brother Duan has already seen the official dispatch report? That speed is quite fast.”

“Those barbarian tribes are about to march west and are currently massively plundering the Northern Court’s population and wealth to prepare for the future. Since the Northern Court is already our Great Tang’s Protectorate, how can we allow them to act recklessly? Your older brother has twice requested orders to go on campaign to punish these savages and pacify this disaster, but both times His Majesty refused. Instead, he’s allocated sixteen prefectures of garrison troops from Longyou for you. Right now the great army is assembling, just waiting for you to enter the capital, have an imperial audience, and then depart through the pass. That’s why your older brother said what he did just now.”

Yun Ye nodded and said, “It’s quite an impressive formation, but there’s no rush. You command troops in the field, so you may not be clear about matters in the capital. I’m not going to suppress those barbarian tribes—I’m going to ceremoniously escort them out of the territory. In fact, the fewer foreign peoples there are, the more stable the Northern Court will be. Little brother would wish that after arriving at the Northern Court, there wouldn’t be a single person there.”

“Without people, what do we need the Northern Court for? Only investment without returns, and every year we’d have to expend countless military resources and national treasury funds to transport supplies to you—the losses outweigh the gains!” Duan He immediately cried out.

“You see, this is exactly why His Majesty would send little brother to the Northern Court rather than sending you to the Northern Court. The biggest reason is that little brother knows how to manage things! As long as the Northern Court is managed well and grain and provisions can be self-sufficient, our Great Tang’s border will be equivalent to advancing five thousand li westward.”

“Whether it’s preventing enemy invasion in the future or planning to invade others ourselves, the Northern Court will be a massive supply base. Only a fool would transport grain and supplies from Chang’an to the Northern Court! If you transport a hundred jin of grain, ninety jin get eaten along the way. Do you think His Majesty hasn’t considered this clearly?”

Yun Ye lectured Duan He on military strategy—this was within his scope of responsibility as Left Vice Minister of War. As for why he was bringing women along—what business was that of Duan He’s? Was a Huaihua Great General really that important?

While the two men were talking, Liu Jinbao and the others had already packed their luggage and prepared to enter the city. Xiao Miao served tea and water to Yun Ye and Duan He with a stern face—this was something she learned from Xiao Ya and the others. The Marquis’s tea, water, and meals were basically all served by their own people.

Yun Ye and Duan He rode side by side into the city. Yun Ye discovered that the people inside Dayu City were very tense. There were many soldiers coming and going in the marketplace. Yun Ye scratched his scalp and said to Duan He, “Although little brother was somewhat of a wastrel in Chang’an, it’s not to the point where Brother Duan would face me as if facing a great enemy, right? You’re not wrong to be on guard against Lingnan, but what’s the meaning of guarding against little brother? I’m going to the Northern Court now—are you planning to station the Xuanjia Army all the way to Anxi?”

Duan He opened his mouth, then finally said awkwardly, “It has nothing to do with you. Your foolish older brother carelessly lost his seal yesterday and is currently searching for it. We’ve turned the entire city upside down but still haven’t found a trace.”

Yun Ye sympathetically rubbed his bulging chest where two seals were stored, which indeed made him uncomfortable. He said to Duan He sympathetically, “It truly is a big trouble. In the past, my Lingnan Navy seal was taken by my dog son to stamp on a pig’s buttocks, then it fell into the river and couldn’t be found. Little brother was scolded terribly by Her Majesty and stood in the blazing sun for a full two hours—utterly miserable!”

Duan He looked at Yun Ye in shock and said, “You gave your seal to your son as a toy?”

“Yes! Her Majesty issued me a new one. I estimate it’ll be the same for you—at worst you’ll return to the capital and be severely scolded by His Majesty, at most you’ll get beaten with two boards. A broken seal is lost, so it’s lost—it’s not a big deal.”

Duan He smiled bitterly and said, “The Lingnan Navy was personally established by your own hands, so your authority in the military is naturally different. The Xuanjia Army was personally established by His Majesty. The slogan ‘The Xuanjia are invincible’ has long resounded throughout the world. The Huaihua Great General seal is my basis for commanding this great army. The Five Barbarians司马 only gave me two days to find the seal. If I can’t find it by the third day, they’ll immediately report upward. Although His Majesty won’t go so far as to chop off my head, the Duan Family’s face will be completely lost by me this time. Brother, I even have thoughts of suicide.”

“Go back and look—beside the stove, behind the water vat, search everywhere. Maybe you’ll find it. If you can’t find it, leave it to little brother to search. I guarantee I’ll find it. How big a matter is this to be seeking death over?” Yun Ye waved his hand carelessly and made grand promises.

Duan He’s eyes suddenly brightened. He clasped his fists and said, “Your older brother truly has no other options. I must ask younger brother to help your older brother. I’m deeply grateful! In the future, wherever older brother can be of use, just speak up—Old Duan owes you a favor.”

“It’s a small matter—does it need to be so solemn? If you give little brother those fifty veteran soldiers who beat up my Lingnan Navy last time, I guarantee everything will be worry-free for you.”

Duan He suddenly reined in his horse and said viciously to Yun Ye, “Could it be that you did this?”

“Stop falsely accusing people! Yesterday I was still admiring the scenery on the ancient Meiling Road. I’m asking you for those men because I feel those fifty veteran soldiers are too disadvantaged following you. With such good skills, yet eating chaff and swallowing vegetables all day—over time, who would still serve you loyally?”

Duan He’s face showed uncertain expressions. His task was to keep a close eye on Yun Ye’s every move in Lingnan, so naturally he knew Yun Ye’s itinerary. In fact, from the moment Yun Ye left Yongzhou, he knew about it. Yesterday Yun Ye was indeed at Meiling—there was nothing suspicious about that. But how dare he make such a guarantee, saying he could definitely find the seal? Why?

He himself was under the heavy protection of the Xuanjia Army, and his residence was right inside the military camp. He didn’t believe there was anyone in this world who could come and go freely in the Xuanjia Army camp and do so without anyone knowing—this was pride formed over a long time. He had always believed it was an inside traitor and absolutely didn’t believe it was done by an outsider. Right now, the maids and servants in his residence were being questioned one by one by the Five Barbarians司马, even his concubines were no exception.

“Fine! It’s a deal. As long as you can find the seal, I’ll immediately permit those fifty veteran soldiers to remove their armor. As for whether they can serve you, I won’t make that guarantee.” Duan He gritted his teeth and agreed to Yun Ye’s conditions.

“I have no intention of forcing them. You just need to let them settle as registered residents in the Yun Family estate, that’s all. Whether it succeeds or not is the Yun Family’s business and has nothing to do with you.”

Yun Ye was very confident. If one said the Yun Family was the source of all evil, then the Yun Family estate was a huge dye vat. No matter who entered the Yun Family estate—no matter how arrogant, how proud, how upright a person they were—they would quickly be dyed in various colors by this great dye vat.

Their parents would learn to enjoy warmth and comfort. Their wives and daughters would learn how to expand and strengthen the family’s enterprises. Their children would be forged by the academy’s elementary school into youths with great ambitions.

And all of this couldn’t be separated from the character for money. For the sake of their whole family’s happy life, these veteran soldiers would learn how to use their martial skills to earn money.

“How do you plan to search? Where will you search from? I’ll make arrangements for you right away.” Duan He was still very doubtful.

“Simple!” After Yun Ye finished speaking, he pulled out the Huaihua Great General seal from his bosom and handed it over to Duan He…

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