HomeThe Whimsical ReturnChapter 70: Damn Affairs

Chapter 70: Damn Affairs

Yun Ye guzzled a bellyful of grape wine. When the sour and astringent wine was about to drown his taste buds, Li Tai finally hurried over. This fellow was quite clever—seeing the eerie atmosphere in the room, he sat at the table, grabbed a jar of the strongest liquor, and planned to first get himself knocked out. This was Yun Ye’s old trick. In the past, whenever he didn’t want to get involved or didn’t want to hear certain things, he would immediately get himself drunk—this way he could escape disaster.

Li Chengqian snatched away the wine jar and said to Yun Ye: “If you have troubles, speak up. I can handle it, and Qing Que can handle it too. However bad things are, how bad can they get? You’ve already taken on the Zhangsun family. Could it be you can’t hold out and need our help? I don’t see you showing any signs of decline. Your momentum is actually becoming ever more magnificent. I think you’re purposefully transferring the Yun family’s power to the capital. Both your sons have returned. Jianhu and Baolin, who originally used various excuses to stall and were unwilling to enter the capital, are also on their way back.”

“Yuezhou Governor Xue Wanche happened to rush back to visit his elder brother’s grave. The Lingnan Fleet’s First Division is now cruising along the coastline—if I’m not mistaken, they should be entering the Yangtze River by now. Speak up—what exactly are you planning? Are you really going to turn against my uncle? I think this matter is very likely true. The Princess entering the Yangtze River—you plan to block the Yangtze and secure the south?”

“The garrison troops in Hexi and Longzhong have also shown unusual movement recently. I also heard He Shao is rushing toward Guannei. What exactly do you want to do? Explain clearly. I’ll definitely help where I should.”

Li Tai looked at his elder brother and Yun Ye in surprise. He hadn’t expected Yun Ye’s counterattack would be so ostentatious. Leaving aside everything else, privately mobilizing garrison troops was a capital offense, regardless of whether you were Minister of War or not.

“Does my Father Emperor know you’re doing this?” Li Tai asked urgently.

“You two both focused your attention on the great situation under heaven—why don’t you ask how Pheasant Slave is doing?” Yun Ye pushed away his wine cup and coldly asked the brothers.

Li Chengqian’s expression stiffened. After all, that was his biological younger brother, born of the same mother. If speaking of hate, naturally he hated him to the bone. But to personally say words like killing him—he still couldn’t say them. So he ignored this matter. In his view, Li Zhi was definitely going to die. Even if he himself didn’t add fuel to the fire, Li Zhi was still going to die. He just didn’t understand why Yun Ye would ask this way.

Li Tai took Yun Ye’s wine cup, poured a large cup of wine, and gulped it down before saying to Yun Ye: “It’s not that we won’t see Pheasant Slave—I’m afraid Pheasant Slave has no face to see us!”

“Back then his great army surrounded Prince Wei’s mansion so tightly not even water could leak through. Your Yun family was the same. Li Huairen led the Xiaowei troops and fought inseparably with Elder Brother’s Crown Prince’s Six Rates—bodies everywhere. Wasn’t he worried we two would die in the chaos? That Elder Brother would be dismembered by the Xiaowei troops’ random blades?”

Yun Ye smiled bitterly, slapped the table and said: “There’s an old man and an old woman who are very pitiful. Their son went mad. Every day at noon, the old man and old woman must bring food to see their son, watch with their own eyes as their son finishes his mad fit and falls asleep before they return. Do you think this couple is pitiful or not?”

They were all clever people. Who wouldn’t know the meaning in Yun Ye’s words? Li Chengqian plopped down to sit on the ground. Li Tai’s tears flowed like springs. Yun Ye continued expressionlessly: “That son of theirs committed many evils—everyone wanted to kill him. A fellow surnamed Yun also wanted to kill him and had already made preparations. As a result, after seeing that miserable scene, his heart was filled with maddening hate, yet he absolutely couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not out of sympathy for that madman, just feeling that old couple was pitiful.”

“Let’s go. I haven’t missed a single unfortunate matter, and I haven’t caught a single good thing. I’ve been tormented enough by this affair. Don’t you two think of escaping either. Damn it, when national law and human sentiment are entangled together, even dying isn’t straightforward.”

“You ask why I’m gathering forces? I’m protecting myself. This time I was scared, truly scared. I don’t want to harm anyone, but I also don’t want to become an innocent ghost like Li Huairen. He died in my arms, grabbed my hand begging me to kill him, afraid I couldn’t find the right spot for a clean kill. He grabbed my hand to help me aim. To hell with it—I’ve had enough!”

Yun Ye grew more agitated as he spoke. With a wave of his hand, he overturned the table. The wine jars on the table shattered all over the ground, and rich wine fragrance immediately permeated the air.

Li Chengqian walked outside expressionlessly. Reaching the doorway, he said to Yun Ye and Li Tai: “Let’s go see. You’re right—this is the Li family’s sordid affair. If we’re going to be troubled, let’s all be troubled together. We’re relatives—we can’t escape.”

Behind the western wall of the Eastern Palace was Wude Hall. There was a small door opened there. The small path was full of rotting tree leaves. This road hadn’t been traveled for many years. The guards’ keys couldn’t open that rusty lock, so they had to find a hammer to smash the iron lock.

After entering the imperial palace, Li Chengqian looked at the dense forest and instructed the guards: “Cut down all the trees here. They’re blocking my view of Wanmin Palace.”

Li Tai scraped the ground’s tree leaves with his foot and said to Li Chengqian: “Elder Brother, I want to move back to Wude Hall. Don’t overthink it.”

Li Chengqian laughed bitterly: “What more is there to think? Let’s go see Pheasant Slave. If he’s truly mad, I need to submit a memorial of self-accusation. The more one lives, the less meaningful it becomes. All day scheming and plotting, even forgetting one’s true face. Eyes can see the most minute changes under heaven, yet can’t see one’s own old father and mother’s bitterness. Let’s go.”

The three people, led by Yun Ye, rampaged through the imperial palace. No one dared to stop them. Walking to the edge of Taiye Pool, Li Tai kicked the great door with a crash and roared: “Open up for me! If you dare not open, I’ll flood it with Taiye Pool’s water!”

Inside was silent as death. Without the Emperor’s decree, no one dared open it.

Duan Hong came and stuffed a gold tablet through the door opening. Before long, the great door opened. The enraged Li Tai found a horizontal blade and swung it in its sheath to beat people. Those guards closed their eyes and took the beating without a sound.

“Enough, stop going mad. Go inside!” Li Chengqian shouted at Li Tai.

A long time later, the three people emerged from the underground palace. Li Chengqian’s eyes were red. Li Tai’s tears flowed even more torrentially. To vent his heart’s depression, seeing the door-guarding attendants, he swung the horizontal blade around wildly again.

Bad moods are contagious. After Li Chengqian and Li Tai returned, their moods were also very terrible. The Eastern Palace and Prince Wei’s mansion didn’t even have laughter anymore. Yun Ye, however, felt much more comfortable. After unfortunate matters were shared by others, his heart immediately felt incomparably light.

Na Rimu dressed like a seductress, her hair piled high, a flame pattern dotted at her brow center, looking quite mischievous. Wearing a gauze garment, she swayed back and forth before Yun Ye, half her pink hills exposed at her chest. Whenever the wind blew her skirt, one could see her snow-white thighs.

“We’re already an old married couple—what are you swaying around for? Hurry and change your clothes. What would it look like if the children saw?” Yun Ye groped her up and down while his mouth hypocritically scolded.

“The children were all led into the palace by Yanrong. Arong and Ashou also went. At home there are only a few elderly and us four sisters. Today seeing your mood was bad, I’m rewarding you. Look at my newly styled hair—isn’t it pretty? This is the most popular hairstyle among Kucha women. It’s just uncomfortable having an empty jar on top of my head.”

Yun Ye touched Na Rimu’s hair—inside it was indeed hard and stiff. He pulled her onto his lap and said: “When did this way of dressing become popular? I didn’t even know.”

“You’re dark-faced all day just knowing to work. How long has it been since you’ve been to Chang’an market? You also no longer take me to play at Dongyang River. Go look at those women—each one wishes she could stand naked before people. Tomorrow take us sisters to cruise the river. Summer is about to pass. No matter how beautiful I am, there’s no chance to show off.”

Yun Ye couldn’t help but laugh. He discovered he was becoming more and more like a standard Tang person. He didn’t know why there was also less laughter on his face. Communication between husband and wife was almost gone. Because of those troubling matters, he actually neglected his own family—this was the big mistake.

Whether the Emperor would be overthrown was none of his damn business. Whether the Crown Prince could ascend the throne was none of his damn business. Whether Li Zhi would be beheaded was also none of his damn business. Tomorrow he’d break Wang Xiaojie’s legs and throw him out of prison. A person who’d already become a pile of stinking dog shit—keeping him imprisoned made him seem important.

“Good, good. Tomorrow I’ll take you all to cruise the river. Old Grandmother doesn’t want to move. The aunts like playing mahjong. Just we five will go, bring a few maidservants and household guards. Old Jiang’s youngest son has already been promoted to leader, right? Have him make preparations.”

Na Rimu’s eyes immediately curved into crescents with laughter. She pecked Yun Ye’s face once and quickly ran out. However, Yun Ye didn’t think well of her going to report the news. If Xinyue liked this outfit of hers, that would be the strange thing.

Sure enough, the back courtyard began squawking again. There was also Xiao Miao’s clapping and cheering sounds, and Lingdang’s voice persuading Xinyue. This was living people, a living family.

“Husband, are you taking me to cruise the river tomorrow? Not working anymore?” Xinyue asked Yun Ye curiously. She hadn’t even had time to put down the feather duster in her hand.

“In the future, don’t beat Na Rimu anymore. That’s just her temperament. You’ve beaten her for over ten years—have you ever seen her reform?”

“It’s fine. She just likes being beaten by me. Dressing so transparently and still daring to parade around everywhere—if I don’t beat her, who should I beat?” Xinyue took this matter extremely seriously. No matter how many times Yun Ye persuaded her, she never changed.

“These days I was actually wrong. I neglected you all. It won’t happen again.”

Xinyue lovingly stroked Yun Ye’s thin face with her hand and said: “This isn’t your fault, and there’s no fault. The lives of a whole large family rest on your shoulders. I’m useless and can’t help you share the burden, and even drag you down. I know—if not for us, you wouldn’t always endure. You were originally a person who does great things, but having your wings tied by us, you can never fly freely and happily.”

Yun Ye laughed heartily, forcefully slapped Xinyue’s bottom once, then twisted Xinyue’s nose and said: “I’m happy to! Even if more tired, I’m happy! When I come back from outside troubles and see you all, my heart immediately brightens. Having elderly above and young below—that’s a person’s lifetime. Who can escape it?”

“That bandit executed yesterday in the West Market—wasn’t he the same? At home he had an old mother and children, and no land. If he didn’t rob, what would they eat? So this is a man’s fate.”

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