No matter what she did, whether right or wrong, she could always be forgiven. Never having to reason with anyone.
You should remember this.
The rose has no principles.
—
“……”
“Cough cough cough, Xu… Xingchun, what are you doing, let go of me quickly!” Fu Xueli’s entire body was delicate and tender everywhere, completely unable to withstand being gripped like this. Her wrists were thin; she finally managed to break free from Xu Xingchun, covered her own throat, took a deep breath, stimulating her windpipe, causing her to choke and cough non-stop.
The surrounding air trembled from the shock.
She crouched on the ground, fingers pressed on the floor. Because she had accidentally really choked, she now couldn’t control her heart-wrenching coughs, wanting to cough up her lungs. Her chest heaved violently, each breath in and out, she nearly couldn’t catch her breath.
Fu Xueli shivered.
Just now, Xu Xingchun’s appearance, and his gaze, were truly too terrifying.
The hand against her throat was ice cold, as if it would tighten at any moment, as if in the next second it would strangle her to death.
She confirmed once again that he was a bit psychologically twisted.
No.
More than just a bit.
Xu Xingchun was an abnormal person.
She gasped for breath for a long time, during which she looked up at him once, her heart filled with mixed feelings. “So you resent me this much now. Then from now on, we’ll go our separate ways. I won’t come to provoke you anymore.”
If they had to tear their faces apart, then so be it. After all, she was never someone good at persisting, nor could she do that shameless clinging to someone thing.
Even if she still harbored some feelings for Xu Xingchun. But to put it bluntly, Fu Xueli was just a worldly person—greedy for wealth and beauty, cherishing life, decisive even in love, able to withdraw at any time.
Emotions to her had never been a necessity, especially not when the other party hated her so much.
What was there to take seriously?
“Then let’s not see each other anymore from now on.” Fu Xueli’s eyes were already red, biting her teeth, enduring the pain, supporting herself with her knees to stand up, asking almost word by word, “Are you satisfied with this, Xu Xingchun?”
Xu Xingchun said nothing, his expression cold, no different from usual.
He stood there motionless for a long time before finally speaking.
Thin yet firm like a tree branch. His voice hoarse, somewhat self-mocking, “Fine.”
After waiting so long, this was the reply.
So he truly did want to stop being entangled with her.
Now it really wasn’t like before anymore. Whatever she did, whatever she said, Xu Xingchun would tolerate everywhere and at all times, unconditionally endure and accommodate everything.
She couldn’t quite describe what the feeling was, just felt her heart empty and hollow.
“Alright then, you said it yourself, don’t regret it.” She forcefully closed her eyes once, suppressing the irritation in her heart. After speaking, she turned and walked toward the exit.
After walking a few steps, nearly at the door, tears suddenly burst out. Unwilling to accept it, she couldn’t help but turn her head to look back. With this one look, her gaze couldn’t move away.
Xu Xingchun wasn’t standing in place; he was bent at the waist, very slowly cleaning up the congee she had eaten earlier.
In that narrow space, there was no light, only darkness. He hung his head, his movements mechanical, as if he had always been alone.
From the past until now, he was always alone, coming and going by himself.
—
Give in once, and the second time becomes much easier.
Fu Xueli leaned against the car window in a daze, relaxing, the taste in her heart particularly complex. She hadn’t expected to soften so quickly.
Getting slapped in the face at the speed of light couldn’t be faster.
Just now, she had clearly walked only a few steps before she couldn’t help but return to find him.
Speaking of being thick-skinned, Fu Xueli truly admired herself. Already at her age, one second throwing a tantrum saying they’d cut ties, the next second going back openly and generously.
The moment she stood before Xu Xingchun, she really didn’t dare look at his expression.
Outside, the sky had already darkened; it was already time that couldn’t be delayed any longer.
Tang Xin’s calls had been hung up on who knows how many times. Finally glancing at her phone, Fu Xueli gathered her spirits, turned her head in Xu Xingchun’s direction, though her gaze didn’t quite dare to lift.
Having no words to say, she still wanted to find something to say. “Hey, um, I have to go, to Malaysia for filming.”
“Mm.”
Having started, the rest of the words became easier.
“Don’t know when I’ll come back.”
“……”
“If you don’t want to see me in the future, we probably won’t see each other much anymore.”
“Mm.”
“Although what I said this afternoon was said in anger… but do you really hate me that much?”
Xu Xingchun slightly parted his lips, “No.”
“Then have you been blaming me all along?”
She didn’t know why she should feel sad, why she should feel wronged.
Yet there was indeed a stubborn streak, insisting on wanting to start over with Xu Xingchun, yet truly unable to lower herself. People are just cheap by nature, naive and greedy—the more they can’t have, the more they can’t let go.
Things like cherishing and regretting really don’t need anyone to preach about.
One day, after stumbling a few times, everyone naturally learns.
No one can escape it.
Her heart churning with sour feelings, Fu Xueli finally unfastened her seatbelt.
Having stayed with him for almost a full day and night, she suddenly felt reluctant to leave.
Opening the car door, getting out, her whole body leaning out, she heard Xu Xingchun say, “I’m sorry.”
His voice sounded both cold and smooth.
Fu Xueli’s movements paused for a moment; she closed the car door with her other hand.
Hearing the bang, she walked out two steps, as if a bone had been extracted, her strength completely drained as well.
She didn’t dare look back, just quickly walked away.
Fu Xueli could only tell herself.
It’s fine.
No need to rush.
It’s fine.
—
Following the address, she found the parking spot Tang Xin had given her in the underground garage.
Looking in, Tang Xin and Xixi had been waiting in the van early. Seeing Fu Xueli, Tang Xin’s face was dark, her eyes blazing, saying through gritted teeth, “I’m giving you five minutes. I really want to kill someone, Fu Xueli. How old are you? Do you have no sense of priority? Are you trying to drive me to death?”
Fu Xueli didn’t dare delay. She stuffed her phone in her pocket, touched up her makeup a bit, quickly changed her gear. Mask and hat all put on.
Quite a few reporters who had heard the inside news, along with some fans who already knew the itinerary, had blocked the airport entrance early. Because of the popularity of “Breaking Dawn” and the CP hype, Fu Xueli’s attention was now soaring.
Their group was very eye-catching; as soon as they appeared in sight, a large group of people swarmed over. Too crowded, Fu Xueli was surrounded, almost unable to move an inch, moving forward at the slowest possible speed.
All around were excited screams—
“Can you give me an autograph!”
“Wife, I love you so much! You must take care of your health when filming, sob sob sob, take good care of yourself.”
“Oh my god, did Fu Xueli just look at me?! Ahhhhhhh!”
“Can we take a photo together?”
Xixi protected Fu Xueli, shouting with a hoarse voice, “Everyone step aside a bit, be safe, be safe, don’t get too excited! Don’t take photos, don’t take photos.”
About to be squeezed into a persimmon cake, as Fu Xueli was barely managing to greet the excited fans, a thought suddenly popped into her mind. She looked back.
The crowd was dense; the airport hall was blocked by quite a few people, many holding up their arms with phones and cameras clicking away.
For a few seconds, Fu Xueli felt that Xu Xingchun was now standing in some corner again.
Silently, watching her leave like this.
He was always so lonely, and very quiet.
—
In the last half hour before takeoff, bored while waiting on the plane, Fu Xueli had nothing to do, propped her laptop on her knees browsing entertainment news. Eyes fixed on the screen, after pondering for a moment, she called her cousin Fu Chenglin.
It took a long time for the other side to pick up. A playboy young master like Fu Chenglin who wandered among flowers every day was certainly off somewhere living it up at this hour.
“Hello, bro.”
“Yo, if it isn’t our big star, how do you have the leisure to care about us common folk?”
“Can you speak properly?”
Fu Xueli sat up straight, clicked on the latest post she had just scrolled to, titled: Li Tao Ranks the Status of Post-90s Young Actresses.
First Tier: Fu Xueli, Ming Heqi, Fei Nana, Chen Jianqiu
Second Tier: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Netizen comments:
1: Pretending not to see who they’re trying to hype.
2: Just looking to the future, that’s all.
3: To be honest, among these people, Fu Xueli’s acting is like a pile of shit, all relying on sucking He Lu’s blood. Even I’d be more reliable acting than her.
4: Ming Heqi doesn’t even have a first-tier seal, works have the worst reputation, movies, TV shows, variety shows are all eighteenth-tier. Southeast Asian flop is back to self-hype again.
5: Fu Xueli and Ming Heqi seem to have a story, can anyone spill some tea?
What a messy bunch of annoying stuff.
Fu Xueli snapped the laptop shut with a bang, tossed it to Xixi, then got up, switched hands to hold her phone steady, focused on the call, “How’s uncle been recently?”
“Pretty good.”
“What about you?”
Fu Chenglin got impatient, “I’m pretty good too.”
“Mm… then.” Fu Xueli hesitated, then beat around the bush again, “What have you been doing recently?”
“I’m working to make money, picking up girls, working on my abs. Right now I’m at the gym exercising.”
“With those fifty-cent abs of yours, no matter how much you work out, they’re still just like that.” Fu Xueli couldn’t help but roast him.
“Hey, you person, do you know how to talk or not?!” Fu Chenglin clicked his tongue, “If there’s nothing else, I’m hanging up, okay? My nightlife is rich and colorful, please don’t disturb, ok not ok?”
“—Hey hey, wait wait!” Fu Xueli looked around, walked to the floor-to-ceiling window, lowered her voice, “I want to ask you something. No.”
She changed her wording, her voice getting even smaller, “I’m seeking advice.”
“Damn, I knew it. I said to myself, when would you ever think of this cheap brother of yours for no reason?” Fu Chenglin smiled knowingly, saying lazily, “What is it? Go ahead, let me teach you.”
Fu Xueli rested her hand on the railing, gazing into the distance, “I’m feeling a bit regretful now.”
“How so?”
“I think I did something wrong.”
“What thing?”
“Just recently… I discovered I really owe someone an apology.”
“Yo, how rare, to make you feel guilty, what earth-shattering thing did you do to someone else?” Fu Chenglin understood her temperament, so he was even more surprised, “Male or female?”
“Male.”
“There’s actually a man you can’t handle?”
“Oh, Xu Xingchun, right?” Fu Chenglin instantly reacted, spoke his name, then immediately followed with another sentence.
Fu Xueli’s scalp went numb. Her heart tightened; she completely couldn’t listen anymore and hung up the phone directly.
High in the sky flying to Malaysia, Fu Xueli pulled over a blanket, looking at the night clouds beside her. Gradually spacing out.
Her face was pale, her chest dully aching.
Waking at three in the morning, tossing and turning, unable to sleep again.
Just a few hours ago, watching Xu Xingchun clean up that bowl of white congee, she suddenly recalled a scene from many years ago.
Making her footsteps completely unable to leave.
That day she took Xu Xingchun to drink.
A cool and breezy night, he got drunk, couldn’t even walk steadily. On the steps under the streetlight, Xu Xingchun hunched his shoulders, his butterfly bones on his shoulder blades very thin.
His face buried in her waist, a pair of delicate black eyebrows knitted together, pillowed on her legs, sleep-talking.
Even his drunken confessions remained restrained.
He said, “I don’t dare cry. The more I cry, the more she beats me.”
“When I was little, I only ate white congee, with no sauce, couldn’t eat at the table.”
“Can’t cry, because she said my fate was hard.”
She heard Xu Xingchun say softly, “Fu Xueli, I really won’t cry. Don’t leave me.”
Fu Xueli didn’t understand the meaning of these words, only felt that he kept tightly gripping her hand and wouldn’t let go.
She laughed in the darkness.
He was so afraid of being abandoned.
—
Xu Xingchun?
Oh…
You mean him?
Hasn’t he long been kneeling before you?