Just past five o’clock, the sky wasn’t yet bright.

Her phone alarm was set to vibrate. Fu Xueli stirred slightly, reaching out her arm to fumble around and turn off the alarm.

The position she’d slept in last night, slumped over the bedside, wasn’t comfortable, and she’d had many chaotic dreams. Now as soon as she moved, her whole body felt like electricity was running through it—everything was numb. Fu Xueli couldn’t help but let out a soft hiss.

With difficulty focusing her attention on what was before her, her vision still blurry, she was dazed for a moment. Lifting her head slightly, opening her eyes a bit more, she finally made out what was under her face…

Xu Xingchun’s hand?

She slowly came to her senses.

Touching it, his fingertips were warm. His palm spread open, fingers distinct, cradling her face, still carrying residual warmth.

One arm had been left outside the covers all night long.

Fu Xueli stood up, twisting her aching neck, glancing at the person sleeping on the bed, her feelings complicated—

Last night she’d been sleeping so… she’d directly used his arm as a pillow?

Fu Xueli thought about it and gently placed his arm back under the covers.

Xu Xingchun’s brows furrowed slightly, but he didn’t wake. Fu Xueli never liked saying goodbye to people, so she didn’t wake him. Tiptoeing out of the hospital room, she turned to see the old woman from last night slowly walking down the corridor.

“Young lady, leaving so early?” The old woman greeted her.

Fu Xueli nodded, seeing the breakfast she was carrying. After thinking for a moment, she suddenly asked, “Grandmother, where did you buy that?”

“This?” The old woman was about to open the door to go in. “Just in a small alley next to the hospital, very close by.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Sunglasses, mask, baseball cap—only after her equipment was complete did Fu Xueli dare to walk out of the inpatient building.

Now she wanted to hide whenever she saw reporters, and didn’t want to go home either. Probably because of her recent high exposure rate, there were often sasaeng fans hanging around Fu Xueli’s residential area. Last time Tang Xin had even called her to say the property management had discovered many cameras near her home, so unsurprisingly, she’d have to prepare to move again.

There were quite a few small shops selling breakfast near the hospital. Close to six o’clock, they were all full of early-rising office workers, students, and elderly grandparents. Fu Xueli chose one with fewer people. Inside the display window was a middle-aged couple busily working, along with a young man helping out.

Seeing a customer, the young man came forward to ask, “Miss, what would you like to eat?”

Fu Xueli’s outfit was really too thoroughly covered up. Other customers in the shop cast peculiar, curious glances her way.

Fu Xueli looked up to study the menu board, slightly hesitant, then turned to ask, “Um, do you do delivery here?”

“Delivery?” The young man was momentarily stunned. “Where do you want it delivered? Around what time?”

“Just to the Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital, very close. Just… between seven-thirty and eight.”

“Oh that, no problem, we can do that.”

“Really?” Fu Xueli was happy. She borrowed paper and pen, thought for a moment, wrote down the room number and address and handed it over. “Then remember, okay? Deliver one serving of freshly ground soy milk, one bowl of porridge, and add a few fried dough sticks or something.”

“Will do.” The young man greeted her with a smile.

Fu Xueli hesitated, then very seriously instructed, “If he asks who bought breakfast for him, just say it was a kind-hearted beautiful woman, tell him not to be too moved, and don’t say anything else.”

“……”

The young man smiled. “Got it.”

There had been too much accumulated work from the previous period. Recently Fu Xueli’s schedule had become increasingly frequent—various events to attend, interviews to accept. After this past month and a half of various ups and downs, the scandal between He Lu and Fu Xueli finally lost its market appeal, and the questions reporters asked her became more normal too.

That evening at the Star Night red carpet event, Fu Xueli walked with Fang Nan. Fang Nan was an artist under Tang Xin’s management who got along well with Fu Xueli and had also risen to prominence in recent years filming youth idol dramas. Very youthful in appeal, just liked joking around and not being serious.

Facing cameras from all directions, Fang Nan smiled with peach-red lips stretched wide, a full row of white teeth showing, completely childlike. Standing beside him, Fu Xueli was graceful and elegant in a shimmering silver evening gown, her smile equally captivating.

After entering and finding their seats, pulling down the chairs, Fu Xueli immediately told Fang Nan, “I’m going to play on my phone for a bit. Help me watch for the camera crew—give me a heads up when they pan over.”

Fang Nan turned his head, speaking in Mandarin with a slight Hong Kong accent. “Playing games? Internet-addicted girl.”

“Girl? Do you know how old I am?” Fu Xueli opened her contacts, found a number, hesitating over whether to call. After thinking for a long time, she still didn’t call.

Fang Nan smiled with interest. “Of course. I thought you women, regardless of age, all like hearing such compliments.”

“Me? I suppose.” Fu Xueli lacked enthusiasm. Whenever she had a free moment now, she started thinking about Xu Xingchun.

Thinking about Xu Xingchun.

Then thinking about Xu Xingchun’s diary.

Old and yellowed, like something used a dozen years ago. Maybe he’d only used this one notebook his whole life—in any case, it was really very old-fashioned.

So Fu Xueli recalled Fu Chenglin’s previous assessment of him:

Xu Xingchun was someone very nostalgic and stubborn, relatively devoted, not easily changed.

What she’d found most annoying about Xu Xingchun before was also this point—too many rules and regulations. Once he decided on something, he’d grab hold and not let go, frighteningly persistent.

Things started out fine, but after high school, his possessiveness became increasingly extreme.

It really was true—romantic love wasn’t anything good. Even people with the strongest self-control would gradually expose their flaws.

But for a scumbag like Fu Xueli who’d been used to living freely and carelessly since childhood, her need for love was mutual tolerance, and importantly, maintaining freshness. Although Xu Xingchun was bottomlessly good to her, he couldn’t even satisfy the basic requirements.

The relationship was destined to fall into a vicious cycle.

Last time in Xu Xingchun’s office, she’d accidentally discovered this diary. Although peeking into someone’s privacy was truly very shameful behavior, for someone like Fu Xueli who had little sense of morality, and in a situation where curiosity was bursting—and the subject was Xu Xingchun—

She really couldn’t figure out what Xu Xingchun was thinking all day, and she wanted to know what he was actually thinking.

So her internal struggle probably only took half a minute before she decided to secretly photograph it with her phone. Click click click—dozens of photos total, all stored in her private photos.

Originally she’d planned to slowly appreciate them when she had free time someday, but too many things came up one after another, and Fu Xueli had long since thrown the diary to the back of her mind. The first time she remembered to look at it was when she was at home with her mentality greatly shattered from being cursed at by online trolls, planning to look at something else to divert her attention. As a result, she clicked it open casually and just happened to see a little bit about herself—just a tiny bit, but it made her guilt explode.

She really was thoroughly terrible.

She was probably truly the bloody knife stuck in Xu Xingchun’s chest.

With an ostrich mentality, she simply stopped looking…

Anyway, the more she looked, the more she felt she’d wronged him.

At this moment Fu Xueli thought of it again, her finger tapping on the screen. Should she look or not…

Fang Nan suddenly turned to make conversation. “Perhaps, do you like playing Honor of Kings?”

“……” Fu Xueli put away her phone. “I don’t play.”

The evening awards ceremony was more than halfway through when Fu Xueli received a Popular Star Award. Amid applause, she delivered her bland thank-you speech, then after leaving the stage, found an excuse to use the bathroom and slipped away early.

The van drove through the vast night toward the city center hospital. Outside the window, shadows of the bustling streets rapidly retreated. Fu Xueli made a phone call in the car. The other side quickly answered, “Hello?”

“Aunt Qi? This is Xueli.”

Xixi held the calla lilies they’d just ordered, seeing Fu Xueli hang up the phone, and asked carefully, “Sister Xueli, it’s already eleven o’clock. The flight is at six tomorrow morning. Do you still want to go to the hospital to see Officer Xu?”

“Mm, I’ll just leave the flowers there and go.”

Arriving at the hospital, she discovered it was already past visiting hours. After negotiating with the nurse on duty for a long time, she still shook her head. “I’m really sorry, but our hospital has set visiting hours to avoid disturbing patients’ rest. You can come back tomorrow morning at six.”

Fu Xueli nodded. “Could you do me a favor?”

The nurse asked, “What?”

She handed over the flowers. “Tomorrow, please deliver this bouquet to Room 401, Bed 2. Thank you.”