In the room, both fell silent simultaneously.

The atmosphere stiffened for over ten seconds. Fu Xueli couldn’t help but shift her gaze to his face, momentarily distracted.

Slightly sunken eye sockets, eyes somewhat moist, shallow double eyelids, jet-black soft tousled hair.

Facial contours subtly pale and delicate, the hospital gown’s collar a bit low, exposing his fair shoulder blades and collarbones entirely.

Must be said, his looks and physique were truly seductive.

It would be hard for any woman not to like him.

She herself… was also often bewitched by his beauty.

To this day she still hadn’t quite kicked this habit.

Her gaze lingered on him for a while longer before Fu Xueli forced herself to look away.

Actually, she knew that suddenly proposing to move into his place was very inappropriate, truly very inappropriate.

After all, Xu Xingchun and she were a single man and woman who had once shared such an entangled relationship… But she really hadn’t thought it through just now. The two of them had essentially grown up together—their bond had long transcended romantic love.

Romantic love could completely disappear, but emotional connection couldn’t. Even if severed with one stroke, the ties and entanglement remained.

Xu Xingchun had been injured because of her this time—by both reason and emotion, she couldn’t just ignore it. But before, she’d told him to forget her and start a new life properly, and now she was proactively proposing to move into his place…

Even Fu Xueli herself felt there was something wrong with her. But words spoken were like water spilled—taking them back now, wouldn’t that seem too capricious?

If it wouldn’t work, she still needed to explain a few things.

“Why aren’t you reacting? Didn’t you hear?” she asked.

Xu Xingchun’s expression remained impassive, his gaze neither warm nor cold. His lashes trembled, and after a long moment, fixing on her face, he slowly said, “Which of the things you say to me is true?”

“……”

Suddenly coming out with this, Fu Xueli really couldn’t tell for a moment whether his tone was rhetorical or a statement.

Was he mocking her for only ever lying to him?

Or was it a genuine question?

Fu Xueli asked herself—she hadn’t deceived him that many times…

Xu Xingchun’s restrained and calm demeanor always left people wondering what he was thinking. He’d always been like this—cool and indifferent, not easily angered. Even when angry, he wouldn’t let others see through him.

She still held the bowl in her hands. After a few seconds’ pause, she didn’t know what to say for the moment.

“Speak.” Xu Xingchun frowned, suppressing his breath.

Thinking this meant refusal and impatient urging, Fu Xueli felt too embarrassed, explaining with some difficulty and awkwardness, “I know you have a cleanliness obsession, then you have a lot of things going on and don’t like people touching your stuff. You’re unwilling to stay at someone else’s house and don’t want to hire special care, so when I accidentally overheard just now outside, I thought since all my schedules are in Shencheng for the next month or two with relatively free time, I was just asking you.”

He remained silent, unmoved. She could only continue stammering on, not even knowing herself what she wanted to express, speaking incoherently.

“Um, Xu Xingchun, are you misunderstanding something? I mean once you’ve recovered I’ll move out, it’s not what you’re thinking. You were injured because of me this time, I just want to compensate you. No, not compensate—repay you like this. If you’re home alone recuperating and something happens, I really would feel too guilty.”

This statement instantly filled Xu Xingchun’s eyes with gloom, and his finally normalizing expression rapidly cooled again.

Only the indescribable stillness and sadness he occasionally revealed passed too quickly to capture.

Fu Xueli moved her mouth, finally squeezing out some words with difficulty, “I’m sorry, if you’re unhappy, just consider it a joke on my part. Don’t take it seriously.”

The stagnant air seemed to return to a primitive, motionless state.

Xu Xingchun stared at her, his distinct knuckles clenching tight, the tendons on the back of his hand tensing.

After a long time, he averted his gaze to look elsewhere, “…You should go.”

Each word spoken with difficulty and awkwardness, as if suffering countless obstacles, almost unable to breathe.

“……”

Fu Xueli wanted to say something, but ultimately swallowed it back just as it was about to come out. Facing him like this, she seemed to lose her ability to organize language.

Her usual stubborn arguing skills vanished too.

Turning her head away awkwardly, ultimately speechless. She felt she might have thought things too simply before coming.

“Then I’m leaving.” Besides this, she couldn’t think of anything else to say.

Silently tidying up the bowls and chopsticks, before leaving, she glanced at Xu Xingchun.

He seemed exhausted to the extreme, lying back against the headboard, eyes already half-closed, saying nothing more.

Fu Xueli gently pulled open the door.

“—Click.” After some rustling sounds, accompanied by a light noise, the room returned to tranquility, once again silent.

Very quiet.

So quiet even breathing could be detected.

After a long while, Xu Xingchun’s chest rose and fell. Supporting himself on the armrest and pressing against the wall, he got down from the bed.

The withered calla lilies were accidentally swept to the floor, smashing on the ground and shattering, a few petals falling.

The night sky after rain was very clear. Below the hospital building, sparse streetlights provided a little illumination.

He’d been too hasty.

He was jealous.

He was unwilling.

From disappointment to despair.

Covetous patience, tormenting longing, conscience consumed—he had loved Fu Xueli so completely without looking back for over ten years.

After so many years, seeing her again, she still hadn’t changed much.

But he had still invested too much, so much that he gradually forgot what kind of person Fu Xueli was. When emotions shattered and sank at their most minute, he couldn’t control it, so he deliberately engineered accidents one after another to make her feel even more guilty.

But it was too hasty…

Still too hasty.

Almost the next second, the next unbearable moment. She would realize—

She was still caught in his terrifying, twisted, frightening adoration.

Then immediately leave, evade, shirk responsibility without mercy.

Fu Xueli had never had a sense of responsibility, loved most to tell impulsive lies. The warmth she gave him, everything she gave him, would one day be given to others.

It had never changed.

This love was paradise for him, but for her merely boring idleness she’d been accustomed to since childhood.

Who was more heartless—how could Xu Xingchun possibly compare to Fu Xueli?

The hospital room door wasn’t fully closed and was blown open by wind. A nurse passed by outside, making a round trip. Seeing Xu Xingchun standing straight by the window, not knowing what he was looking at so intently, maintaining the same position for so long.

She couldn’t help but lean in to remind him, “Hey, that patient, what are you doing? You have a cast on your leg, you can’t stand for long. Hurry back to bed!”

Then suddenly a familiar voice rang out, “—Xu Xingchun!”

When this voice sounded, Xu Xingchun’s whole body stiffened before he slowly turned around.

Fu Xueli supported herself with one hand on the doorframe, half-bent over panting, her cheeks already flushed from running.

In a split second, his expression went through a series of changes, from his brow to the corners of his mouth, finally barely maintaining surface composure.

For a moment, he couldn’t say a word.

Fu Xueli panted slightly. Walking in, she saw Xu Xingchun’s complexion was even paler than usual, completely bloodless.

“What did you come back for?” Even his voice lowered, already becoming weak and hoarse.

Fu Xueli unconsciously tightened her lips, urgently and nervously staring at his seemingly calm face.

Actually just now, carrying the food container, walking out of the hospital building just a step or two, on the way to the parking garage, Fu Xueli’s heart had been very uncomfortable, beginning a round of self-analysis.

The current situation—she really couldn’t quite figure it out.

Although possibly, probably, it was just her being a bit narcissistic in thinking—Xu Xingchun still liked her. But without him personally admitting it, all this was just her speculation. No matter what, back then when her family had problems, she’d vented all the resulting bad emotions on Xu Xingchun, countless times of breaking up and getting back together that she’d initiated left him exhausted, until Xu Xingchun chose to walk away and end it.

Over these years it wasn’t that she hadn’t felt guilty. Several times even, she’d tried to contact Xu Xingchun through various means. Only when it came down to it, Fu Xueli often still chose to evade. She knew very clearly what kind of person she was—the habit of loving the new and abandoning the old simply couldn’t be changed. What Xu Xingchun wanted from beginning to end was merely her devotion.

And she couldn’t give it.

She wasn’t ready to face such responsibility. Perhaps the two of them simply weren’t suitable, all their views on relationships incompatible.

But honestly, if you asked Fu Xueli whether she still liked Xu Xingchun.

She absolutely couldn’t give a negative answer. If it weren’t because she still liked him, how could she have remembered for so many years?

So Fu Xueli was very afraid that her momentary softheartedness would only bring Xu Xingchun repeated torment.

But remembering Fu Chenglin’s words, no matter what, she owed him. Whether from before or now, she should properly repay everything before saying goodbye.

Running away like this repeatedly—what kind of behavior was that?

So Fu Xueli had been engaged in intense internal struggle, back and forth, feeling her nerves were splitting. Still, she chose to go back.

“Um…”

Fu Xueli looked at Xu Xingchun, not missing even the smallest emotional change on his face, her speaking speed becoming unusually rapid, “First, I very seriously, very seriously, apologize for words that may have hurt you before. If you hate my lying, I can try to guarantee that I’ll try not to deceive you anymore in the future.”

Xu Xingchun’s arms naturally hung at his sides. His body swayed, and Fu Xueli quickly moved to support him.

His eyelids pressed down, spine slightly curved, gaze lowered looking straight at her. Long straight black lashes cast thin shadows, his eyes seemingly filled with blurred mist that couldn’t dissipate.

A few seconds later, Fu Xueli refocused her gaze on his eyes, continuing to speak, “I can’t promise you anything, but I’ll try to treat you well. If you’re willing to let go and find a better girl, I’ll also bless you. But right now, I think, I want to properly start over with you, as friends, as classmates, as anything. I don’t know how it’ll be in the future either, but for now, I seriously want to properly begin with you.”

“…Begin what?” The syllables Xu Xingchun produced remained difficult to discern.

“Whatever you want it to be.”

Fu Xueli worked hard to maintain composure in her expression, seriously asking again, “So… will you let me and Auntie Qi take care of you at your place during your recovery period, is that okay?”

He didn’t speak for a long time.

But she felt Xu Xingchun’s knuckles naturally relax, very lightly, very lightly, reaching back to grasp her wrist.

Fu Xueli knew.

This time, Xu Xingchun.

Had once again compromised with her without principles.

—

**Mini Extra: Private Photos on Phone**

**Xu Xingchun’s Diary—Middle School Edition**

– She got her ears pierced today. Her earlobes were very red, but she got scolded by the teacher.

Cried miserably.

But looked very beautiful.

– Christmas, I have no apple. During class spinning my pen, she stared at my hands for a long time.

She likes my hands.

Probably, me too.

– I can’t let slip any clues to let Fu Xueli know I like her.

Because she might want to kiss me, but won’t take responsibility.

– I’m just a shadow in Fu Xueli’s life. The liveliness belongs to them. Xu Xingchun has nothing.

– Fu Xueli has hypoglycemia. But she can really eat. My drawer is also stuffed full of her snacks.

Today in class the frequency of her sneaking glances at me was very high. She’s very afraid I’ll steal her snacks.

– Quote to remember: Adapt to me, need me, get used to me, can’t do without me.

– The math teacher’s lecture voice is unpleasant. He’s hard of hearing. I don’t like people calling my name very loudly. I like hearing her laugh, but Fu Xueli slept all afternoon again.

– She likes to lie and also likes to brush people off. She won’t actually like me.

I was deceived.

– Why does she keep ignoring me? Is it because she hates me now? I only told her not to talk with the boys behind us—they’re clearly not close.

Very hard to endure.

– Today she said my lashes are so long.

Wonder if I could pluck them out to give her.

– I want her to lick me.

– I don’t want to study anymore.

I want to f&ck her.