Pei Wenxuan’s back was rigid. Feeling Li Rong’s touch, his entire being became completely unable to think.

He dared not speak, afraid he would say something inappropriate. He could only stiffen his body, not saying a word.

Li Rong leaned against him. After a while, she straightened up, sighing as she said, “Forget it. That’s just your nature. Let me help you pick out the debris from your wounds first.”

Pei Wenxuan said nothing. He felt Li Rong draw near, carefully picking out the splinters embedded in his back. Her breath fell upon his back, carrying scorching warmth, trailing across his wounds and then spreading throughout his limbs.

As Li Rong helped him pick out the debris from where the cane had struck his wounds, she spoke in a rambling voice, “Next time something like this happens, at least discuss it with me first so I have some idea what’s going on. You’re always criticizing me, saying I don’t understand people’s hearts, saying I don’t understand others’ difficulties, but I think you’re too considerate of others’ difficulties.”

Pei Wenxuan listened quietly. Li Rong rarely spoke to him like this, as if she were a nagging old woman, casually chattering about trivial daily matters.

“You always used to say you didn’t want to be like your father, that your father spoiled your mother until she didn’t understand anything, but deep down you’re really no different from your father. Your mother lives among the great aristocratic families. After her husband died and left her so much, instead of thinking about preserving it for her son, when you went to Luzhou, she let people deceive her out of most of it.”

“She handed over the steward’s authority, sent your father’s money to the clan, didn’t manage anything, and let your second uncle send away all the old servants your father left behind. For her doing all these things, the moment you returned from Luzhou, you should have scolded her directly.”

“Even if I said something, it wouldn’t help much.” Pei Wenxuan sighed, “She’s naturally weak-willed…”

“Can’t weak-willed people learn?” Li Rong became angry just talking about it, saying furiously, “If she can’t learn to protect you, why did she give birth to you? Does she deserve to be a mother? You think I don’t understand what’s in your mind? You simply think that because she has a weak temperament and is helpless, you never tell her when you’re suffering. You always report only good news and not bad news. She hides in her Buddhist hall all day thinking about your father, knowing nothing, while you grit your teeth and endure hardships outside alone. Your rotten temperament really vexes me.”

Pei Wenxuan listened without speaking. Li Rong cleaned his wounds. Seeing Pei Wenxuan pull his own clothes back on properly, Li Rong observed his expression for a moment, then asked somewhat cautiously, “Did I speak too harshly?”

“Why does Your Highness ask this?”

Pei Wenxuan was rather puzzled. Li Rong pressed her lips together, hesitated for a moment, then sat down beside him, sighing softly, “I’m not a fool either. I’ve seriously thought about what you said to me. When you said I don’t understand people’s hearts, you were telling the truth. I consider things too much from my own perspective, so I can’t be considerate of many things. You already suffered injuries at home today. If anything I said makes you feel bad, please tell me.”

Hearing these words, Pei Wenxuan couldn’t help but smile, “Your Highness can rest assured.”

“Actually, from the moment Your Highness turned back to find me that day, no matter what Your Highness says, I won’t feel bad.”

Li Rong listened to Pei Wenxuan’s words and looked back suspiciously, “Why?”

“Because Your Highness was willing to turn back for me, I knew that Your Highness holds Wenxuan in your heart.”

Hearing this, Li Rong laughed, “You really are thinking more and more highly of yourself.”

Pei Wenxuan chuckled softly, “After all, we’ve spent so many years together. We’re at least friends, aren’t we?”

Li Rong listened to Pei Wenxuan’s words, looking at his calm and composed expression. She watched for a moment before finally saying, “Forget it. Tonight’s matter is over, but whether you think my words are right or wrong, at least listen to them.”

“Don’t always think about being considerate of others. Whatever you want, you must fight for it yourself, obtain it yourself. Whether the other party accepts it or not is their business, but you can’t not ask for it. Yun Shi is your mother. Whether she’s weak or incapable, she must fight for you once. You can’t put yourself in a difficult position just because you’re thinking of her.”

“But,” Pei Wenxuan looked at Li Rong earnestly, “what if she’s unwilling?”

“Then can’t she refuse?” Li Rong found this rather strange. “Whether she’s willing or not, you have to give her a choice. Whether to help you or return to her Buddhist hall, she must make the decision herself. You can’t cut off her choices from the very beginning.”

“But I clearly know which path is better for her.”

Pei Wenxuan’s voice was somewhat hoarse. Li Rong shook her head, “Pei Wenxuan, only the person themselves knows which path is better.”

Pei Wenxuan didn’t speak. He gazed quietly at Li Rong.

The young woman before him had an eighteen-year-old face, beautiful as morning dewdrops, glistening and about to fall. But in her eyes was the transparent clarity that only comes after being tempered by the passage of years. She looked at him quietly, her eyes holding concern that hadn’t existed in the previous life, as well as a tenderness that the eighteen-year-old Li Rong hadn’t possessed.

This was an entirely new Li Rong.

In the beginning of his rebirth, he had thought about marrying the eighteen-year-old Li Rong, because he thought they could start over.

When he learned Li Rong had also been reborn, he felt their karmic bond had ended.

But now he realized that in life, at any moment, when he wanted to, he could start anew.

The current him was different from the past, and Li Rong was different from the previous life.

He was changing, Li Rong was changing. Li Rong was like a child, groping her way forward. Even if she bruised herself bloody, at least she was changing, transforming. Then why couldn’t he, in this new life, live once according to an attitude he’d never had before?

In the previous life, he had already watched helplessly as Li Rong and Su Rongqing spent twenty years together.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t compete, couldn’t seize her. He could have even secretly killed Su Rongqing.

He simply thought that since Li Rong had chosen Su Rongqing, no matter how jealous or pained he was, he would respect Li Rong’s choice.

But in this life, they hadn’t even begun. Why should he yield?

He should compete, he should seize, he should place the choice before Li Rong—whether to go or stay, at least Li Rong should give him an answer.

Countless wild thoughts churned through his mind, yet he didn’t show half of it. He was like Li Rong—once anything significant was involved, they would both suppress all emotions completely, not letting anyone see any traces.

He looked at Li Rong, restraining all his emotions and desires, smiling softly, “I will think carefully about Your Highness’s words.”

“If you can come to understand, that would be best.”

Li Rong said slowly, “After all, I can’t protect you for a lifetime.”

“I understand.” Pei Wenxuan lowered his voice, “I won’t always make Your Highness stand up for me either.”

“It’s good that you know.”

As they spoke, the carriage arrived at the Princess’s mansion. Li Rong rarely helped Pei Wenxuan down from the carriage. Someone had already come to report along the way, so as soon as they reached the mansion, the servants had prepared everything and attended to Pei Wenxuan as he returned.

The physician came to examine Pei Wenxuan, then applied medicine and bandaged his wounds. After bustling about for a long time and instructing him to rest well, he finally withdrew.

After Pei Wenxuan was bandaged, Li Rong was also exhausted. She and Pei Wenxuan ate something casually, then washed up and lay down on the bed to rest.

With injuries on his back, Pei Wenxuan lay on his stomach watching Li Rong.

Li Rong had bathed in the washroom, returned wearing light clothes, then extinguished the lamp and climbed into bed.

Pei Wenxuan watched without blinking. Li Rong noticed his gaze and couldn’t help but smile as she lifted the covers and lay down, “You keep staring at me. What are you looking at?”

“Your Highness is beautiful.”

Pei Wenxuan answered honestly. Li Rong took it as more flattery and rolled her eyes at him, “Smooth talker.”

Pei Wenxuan turned his head to watch her. Li Rong lay flat, closing her eyes. After a while, feeling that Pei Wenxuan was still watching her, she couldn’t stand it anymore. She opened her eyes and smiled, “What exactly are you looking at? I can’t even sleep with you staring like this.”

With that, Li Rong turned her back to Pei Wenxuan, complaining, “Go to sleep quickly. You don’t have to attend court tomorrow, but I still do.”

Pei Wenxuan looked at Li Rong’s back. He watched for a while before saying, “Your Highness, what do you think of me as a person?”

“Hm?”

Li Rong didn’t understand why Pei Wenxuan suddenly asked this question. Then she heard Pei Wenxuan say, “My father was a very good person. When I was young, I always hoped I could live like my father, but my father was like a towering mountain. No matter what I did, I could never surpass him.”

“When I was young, Mother always said I wasn’t as good as my father. Other children’s parents would be overjoyed at their slightest achievement, but no matter what I did, my father would only say I was good, and my mother would only say I wasn’t good enough.”

“So I’ve never known what kind of person I really am. I want to hear Your Highness’s evaluation.”

Pei Wenxuan’s voice was very light, but hearing it, Li Rong’s heart felt somewhat bitter.

She actually understood what Pei Wenxuan was saying. Though Pei Wenxuan himself wasn’t self-aware, she knew clearly that deep in his bones, he always felt he wasn’t good enough.

So as long as she gave him even a little bit of kindness, she could see this person’s gratitude and joy magnified tenfold.

He had been like this in his youth. After decades, she thought this person should have improved, but only when he spoke this question aloud did she realize that wounds left unattended would only fester and take root, growing long and enduring in dark places.

She didn’t speak. Pei Wenxuan felt somewhat panicked for a moment, “Your Highness?”

With that, Pei Wenxuan became embarrassed, “Your Highness must be tired. Let’s not chat anymore. I’ve disturbed you. Your Highness, sleep…”

“I think you’re very good.”

Li Rong suddenly spoke. Pei Wenxuan froze. Li Rong, with her back to him, said softly, “My eyes aren’t blind. Do you think in the last life I would have fallen for just anyone I married?”

“I think you’re excellent. You’re good-looking, have a good temperament, always considerate of others, gentle and thoughtful.”

“You have refined tastes, you know a lot. Of the Six Arts of the gentleman, you could take first place every year. Among all the fashionable things in aristocratic circles, there’s nothing you’re not skilled at.”

“You learn everything quickly. The first time you drew my eyebrows, it was crooked and twisted, but in less than a month, you could even apply my makeup. The first time you styled my hair, you pulled so hard my scalp hurt, but later there was no hairstyle you couldn’t do.”

“Though you’re sentimental and somewhat indecisive, that’s also because you value emotions deeply. If a husband, a friend, a family member were all like me, viewing everything lightly, able to let go of everything, this relationship would always lack some flavor.”

“Pei Wenxuan,” Li Rong watched the moonlight fall in the room. As she spoke, she couldn’t help but smile herself, “You’re actually especially wonderful.”

Pei Wenxuan didn’t speak. Listening to Li Rong’s words, in that instant, infinite courage arose within him. He finally felt it.

He couldn’t let go anymore.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness.”

He spoke softly. Li Rong felt somewhat strange, “Why are you…”

Before she finished speaking, the person behind her suddenly reached out, pulling her into his embrace in one motion.

They were pressed tightly together. Li Rong’s entire body went rigid. Pei Wenxuan held her very tightly, as if wanting to merge her into his bones and blood.

Li Rong felt herself completely enveloped by him, all her senses infinitely magnified in the darkness.

His breath, his touch, his hand locked around her waist, his everything—all were perceived in her world in multiples.

Her heart beat rapidly. Somehow, she thought of the night they were married years ago.

Red curtains rolling in waves, brocade quilts becoming billows.

Pei Wenxuan sensed her emotional shift, knew her body’s changes. His hand gently loosened, half-propping himself up, covering her ear. His low, hoarse voice swept past her earlobe, falling into her ear canal, drilling into her mind. Somehow, it stirred up a tingling sensation.

“Rongrong,” he called her name. His usually clear voice carried an indescribable huskiness. Li Rong’s mind buzzed, finding it difficult to think. Then she heard him say with a touch of dejection, “My heart aches. Let me hold you, alright?”

Li Rong found it difficult to think. She didn’t respond, but neither did she resist. Pei Wenxuan tightened his arms, burying his head between her neck and shoulder.

“Rongrong,” he spoke softly, “I don’t want to let go anymore. I won’t let go. Is that alright?”

Author’s Note: Pei Wenxuan: “Starting today, I am Niuhuru Pei Wenxuan.”