◎You’re so stubborn, unwilling to bow your head—you’re bound to suffer for it in the future◎

Even having experienced this once before, hearing such words again still made Lan Shanjun feel incredulous, even somewhat unfamiliar.

It had been a long time since Grandmother had spoken to her this way.

Before she was sent to Huailing, she had enjoyed the benefits of her identity as the eldest young madam of Duke Songguo’s residence. At least when she returned to Duke Zhenguo’s residence, Grandmother had been much more courteous to her, not making her kneel at every turn, and would even say with a smile, “Shanjun rarely returns. Quickly, sit down.”

So back then, she had felt her eager pursuit of marriage into a powerful family was absolutely right.

Thinking about it more carefully, though today’s incident had occurred back then too, it hadn’t been until a year later.

At that time, having just returned to the residence, her temper was stubborn—openly stubborn. From the start, she opposed Grandmother. When truly tired of being scolded and pained from kneeling, she would also fly into a rage and shout: Old woman, if you have the ability, make everyone in Shuzhou change to speaking Luoyang dialect.

Grandmother had been so angered by her that she clutched her chest and wept, and conversely didn’t dare mention changing the old monk’s worship from the temple to a Daoist sanctuary.

Only later, after she followed Mother in learning to speak and act, when her temper had mellowed somewhat, did Grandmother dare to tentatively bring it up.

She couldn’t clearly remember how it had been resolved, only that the worship hadn’t been changed, the words “old woman” had been cursed, she had packed her things to leave, and in the end, Mother had counseled her with some words and made her kneel before Grandmother.

The only time in those years she knelt and cried was because of this matter.

Lan Shanjun sighed softly, looking at Grandmother’s expectant face with emotion: “Grandmother, those who know would say you devoutly worship the Three Pure Ones. Those who don’t might think you’re bullying me because I’m insignificant and powerless, and since I must eat the food of Duke Zhenguo’s residence, you’re forcing me to abandon my adoptive father’s kindness.”

With one sentence, the smile fell from the old lady’s face, and her gaze became sharp.

Yet Lan Shanjun smiled. “Moreover, though I may be inexperienced, I also know that spirits dwell three feet above one’s head. I would never dare contemplate such matters, fearing Buddha’s blame and that the Three Pure Ones would also be displeased.”

Lan Hui and the Third Young Madam were surprised by her sharp words, which seemed somewhat disrespectful. Yet they also felt Grandmother was indeed being excessive, so they both sat without daring to move or speak.

The old lady took a deep breath and laughed coldly. “What birth kindness and adoptive kindness—why bring up such distant matters?”

She said with displeasure, “It’s merely changing the place of worship, not ceasing worship altogether. What difference does it make? If the heart is sincere, the spirit will respond. Where one worships doesn’t really matter.”

Lan Shanjun replied, “I was raised in a temple since childhood, so naturally my heart is sincere toward Buddha. If I changed to believing in the Three Pure Ones, wouldn’t that be like serving two masters?”

She shook her head. “Heaven and earth have spirits. I’ve also learned some things following my master and know that those who worship Buddha then go worship the Three Pure Ones are not favored by either side.”

The old lady’s expression grew ugly—she herself had once worshiped Buddha.

Lan Shanjun acted as if she didn’t know and continued, “It’s like a person who has taken the wrong path. The further they walk, the more they deviate. The more devout they become, the worse it gets. Once you devoutly make your vows, both sides will despise you. Neither will be willing to help, and in the end, you can only fall into hell.”

The old lady was both shocked and angry. Shocked because Lan Shanjun had indeed grown up in a temple and might have some spiritual cultivation. Angry because she had never heard such words from anyone else and feared they were being said to frighten her.

She felt even more that her dignity had been affronted and couldn’t save face, so she scolded, “Nonsense! Playing tricks and pretending to commune with spirits!”

Lan Shanjun didn’t retort, only saying, “If Grandmother doesn’t believe it, then so be it.”

She said quietly, “Grandmother has believed in Daoism for many years, so presumably nothing will happen. But your granddaughter doesn’t dare, fearing being thrown into a cauldron of oil after death.”

The old lady’s chest ached with anger, and her eyes reddened.

Seeing the two of them like this, Lan Hui wanted to speak and mediate, but was stopped by the Third Young Madam. She gave her personal servant a look, having someone go fetch her mother-in-law. When she came back to her senses, she saw Grandmother suddenly staring at Sixth Sister and saying, “What if I insist on this?”

The Third Young Madam’s head began to ache. She had originally thought the most difficult person to get along with in this household should be Sixth Sister returning from the countryside. Yet Sixth Sister was sensible and courteous, while Grandmother was like this.

She could only look at Sixth Sister, hoping she would lower her head and let this matter pass for now, with other matters to be discussed later. Yet she heard Sixth Sister say, “Grandmother, there is no such principle under heaven.”

The Third Young Madam thought: This is bad.

Neither was an easy person to deal with.

Sure enough, the old lady angrily said, “I am your grandmother, and thus I am the principle in this household. Your eldest uncle and second uncle died on the battlefield…”

Lan Shanjun’s expression remained calm: “But there are four hundred and eighty temples outside. Does Grandmother intend to raze them all to the ground?”

The old lady couldn’t believe it. “What?”

For over a decade, ever since her sons died, whenever she mentioned her deceased sons, everyone accommodated her. This was the first time anyone had defied her like this.

She was beside herself with rage: “Kneel down!”

Those two words again.

Lan Shanjun let out a deep sigh, as if she’d heard something utterly unreasonable.

She sat without moving.

And she was somewhat dazed: Was this the matter that made her feel so wronged every time she recalled it back then?

This really was… She shook her head, only feeling that there were some advantages to being older.

Lan Hui sat to the side dumbstruck. But these past days, Sixth Sister had always been gentle and obedient, always smiling at her, and Mother constantly praised her. For things to suddenly turn out this way, she began defending her in her heart.

Grandmother was being too domineering.

No matter what, the deceased were paramount. Why force someone to change their beliefs?

When Zhu Shi arrived, Lan Hui went outside first to wait. Upon seeing her, she said urgently, “Mother, you can’t blame Sixth Sister for this. She just has a stubborn personality and doesn’t know how to be flexible.”

If it were her, she would first agree, and whether to actually do it would be another matter. She certainly wouldn’t create conflict on the spot.

Hearing Huihui speak this way, Zhu Shi had a sense of the situation. So she entered the room, pulled the person to stand beside her, and scolded a few words, “How dare you argue with Grandmother?”

She then looked at the old lady. “Mother, she’s still young and just returned from Shuzhou. She doesn’t understand. You mustn’t be angry with her.”

The old lady still gave Zhu Shi face. She suppressed her anger and only said, “She appears obedient, yet she has rebellious bones throughout.”

Lan Hui breathed a sigh of relief, thinking this would settle it. She looked at Sixth Sister, but saw her with a strange expression, remaining motionless for a long time, as if trying hard to recall something.

Lan Hui was puzzled. Then she saw Grandmother suddenly shed tears and say to Mother, “Back then, when your eldest brother and second brother went to the battlefield, I disagreed. The Shuzhou barbarians truly deserve death ten thousand times over!”

With just that one sentence, Mother began to hesitate, and grief appeared on her face. She took Sixth Sister’s hand and moved to the side.

Lan Hui couldn’t hear them, but saw Sixth Sister’s expression grow increasingly strange.

Her heart filled with doubt, and she couldn’t help but move closer to listen. She just happened to hear Mother counseling, “Even if you’re unwilling, you’re the junior and she’s the elder. When an elder tells you to kneel, you should kneel. How can you act willfully?”

Zhu Shi held Lan Shanjun’s hand, saying softly, “You returned from Huailing with your Shu accent. When has your grandmother blamed you for it? She took a step back; you should also take a step back.”

She said, “Shanjun, don’t be stubborn. I’ve spent so much effort these days teaching you principles—not so you could use them against family members. You mustn’t disappoint me.”

As soon as she finished speaking, she noticed Lan Shanjun looking at her as if suddenly enlightened.

Then she heard her murmur and nod, “Indeed.”

She sighed with emotion, “Mother, back then… I truly… most feared disappointing you.”

So when you said to kneel, even though the me of those years was so wronged, I would still kneel.

So that’s how I knelt down.

Kneeling like that, she preserved the old monk’s birth kindness and repaid his adoptive kindness.

Both sides were satisfied; only she herself remained aggrieved, kneeling and weeping.

She had always been a conflicted person. Regarding Mother, she was especially conflicted.

This was also related to Mother’s temperament. Though she too was a matriarch of a great house, she wasn’t deeply calculating and couldn’t hide her emotions on her face. So even at sixteen, she could glimpse a bit of Mother’s thoughts from her face—especially when judging her various inappropriate habits from Huailing.

It wasn’t disgust or loathing, but rather a looking down upon that existed beyond those two.

It wasn’t that Mother didn’t like her; she didn’t like her experiences in Shuzhou.

For Mother, who came from an aristocratic family, this was perhaps natural and proper. But back then, she had been like a firecracker twisted into a knot, sensitive in her thoughts, and having never had a mother since childhood, she cared deeply about Mother. The more she cared, the more she minded, so she would always find a few words to jab back with, stabbing until Mother wept.

Being right became being wrong. So she could only kneel down. And the louder she knelt, the more painful it was, the more satisfied she probably felt—this way, it seemed she had more self-respect and backbone, and it would allow her to be more righteous when bringing up this matter before Mother in the future.

—It was truly foolish.

Thinking about it now, this was also the disadvantage of lacking education. Because she couldn’t articulate grand principles, she could only achieve her goals through defiant retorts and kneeling. But the terrible thing was that Mother could articulate principles, and even worse, she was quite susceptible to the principles Mother articulated.

She shook her head. For the first time, instead of kneeling as Mother wished, she maintained her expression and spoke to Zhu Shi the principles she hadn’t understood how to express in her previous life: “Does Mother also think that being born in Shuzhou and growing up in Shuzhou is my fault? So just because Grandmother doesn’t blame me for my Shu accent, I should be grateful?”

“Just because Eldest Uncle and Second Uncle died in battle in Shuzhou, do the people of Shuzhou not even have the right to live?”

“Just because Grandmother believes in the Dao, must everyone in the world follow suit?”

As she spoke, she laughed bitterly. “Or perhaps Mother also thinks Grandmother’s demand to move my master’s worship to a Daoist temple is correct?”

She sighed softly. “Mother, you clearly also know that if it were someone else, Grandmother wouldn’t dare say such things. Even if she wanted to, she would light four more lamps at a Daoist temple and worship at both places, rather than making me directly move the perpetual lamps there.”

Reaching this point, she suddenly raised her head, her eyes that clearly distinguished right from wrong quietly looking at Zhu Shi: “—I grew up in the marketplace, poor since childhood, needing to watch others’ expressions to beg for a meal. Naturally, I understand the hierarchy of human hearts.”

“Naturally, I also understand that Grandmother is bullying me because I don’t dare resist, and she’s seen clearly that Mother won’t help me.”

Then she paused and laughed self-deprecatingly: “—After all, on the road, if you kick a beggar, no one will care.”

Listening from the side, Lan Hui’s eyes had already moistened. She completely stood on Sixth Sister’s side. Zhu Shi instinctively wanted to refute but found herself speechless. Feeling somewhat ashamed and unable to save face, she could only gently counsel, “Child, you’re really overthinking this. Your grandmother doesn’t have such intentions.”

She added, “This matter is actually quite simple. Just lower your head and admit your fault, and it will pass. Why must you remain deadlocked? You’re the junior. What good can come from opposing your grandmother?”

Having finished this statement, she expected Lan Shanjun to say a few more words and was prepared to continue persuading. Instead, she saw her stand frozen for a long moment, then suddenly laugh lightly: “Very well, I’m still not to Mother’s liking.”

She had thought that her twenty-six-year-old self living at sixteen would please Mother. But Mother in the previous life hadn’t liked her twenty-six-year-old self either, so how could she suddenly like it in this life?

Fortunately, at twenty-six, she no longer cared so much about Mother’s favor. She smiled and replied, “Though there’s no benefit, there’s also no harm.”

At least she hadn’t knelt down feeling stifled and returned to cry in grievance.

Zhu Shi stared at her for a long time, then sighed repeatedly. “Shanjun, I originally thought your words and actions were gentle, that you were a soft and mild young lady. Looking at you today, your temperament is actually quite stubborn. You’re so obstinate, unwilling to bow your head—you’re bound to suffer for it in the future.”