The relationship between Sheng Huan and Chen Yi had become a thorn lodged in Ruan Mian’s heart that wouldn’t go away.

Although the very next day she learned from Meng Xinglan that Sheng Huan and Chen Yi were still just friends so far, although everyone felt that Chen Yi probably really didn’t like Sheng Huan, despite all this, Ruan Mian still couldn’t control her wild thoughts.

The present didn’t represent the future. Chen Yi didn’t like Sheng Huan now, but there would always be others in the future—others who were better and more suitable for him.

Just like in the movie “Chungking Express” when He Zhiwu asked the blonde assassin if she liked pineapples, the assassin answered that people change—he likes pineapples today, tomorrow he can like something else.

Even if he didn’t like someone today, there would always be tomorrow. Every future day could bring a new affection, but no matter what he liked, it would never have anything to do with her.

Whenever Ruan Mian thought of this, an indescribable sourness and sadness would well up in her heart, to the point that even the summer vacation—which was usually full of nostalgia for her—had become particularly difficult to endure.

At the end of July, the school’s competition class began supplementary lessons. Class hours were adjusted from last semester’s Monday, Wednesday, Friday evening self-study sessions and Saturday half-days to Monday through Friday from 6 PM to 9:30 PM, and the classroom was also moved from the multimedia room to the senior year teaching building.

Encounters between Ruan Mian and Chen Yi became unavoidable. She had thought about using distance to replace indifference, but often just a casual glance from him would render all her efforts useless.

On Friday, the class organized a small weekly exam. During this period, Ruan Mian had a poor appetite, and with the hot weather, she hadn’t eaten much during the day. Her originally fine stomach had developed a minor problem.

Before the exam, Ruan Mian felt somewhat uncomfortable. Yu Tian helped her get a cup of hot water, and she took two sips before screwing the cap back on tight and pressing it against her stomach.

The warmth separated by a layer of clothing pressed against her stomach, alleviating some of the sharp stabbing pain.

In the height of summer, even the evening temperature remained stubbornly high. The classroom had the air conditioning on and fans blowing, with cold air rushing everywhere.

Ruan Mian was only wearing a thin short-sleeved shirt. Halfway through the exam, her exposed arms broke out in goosebumps both from the cold and from the pain.

Teacher Luo, who was proctoring, noticed her poor complexion and quickly walked over, asking in a low voice: “What’s wrong, are you feeling unwell?”

Ruan Mian didn’t want to draw too much attention and simply said: “Teacher, I’m fine, I just feel a bit cold.”

“I see.” Teacher Luo straightened up. She originally wanted to ask Chen Yi, who was sitting there, to turn off the fan, but worried about disturbing his train of thought. After thinking it over, she decided to go turn it off herself.

The old fan, accompanied by a slow “creaking” sound, stopped rotating.

After Teacher Luo turned off the fan, she walked through the aisle between the two rows of seats. Chen Yi, who had paused to organize his thoughts, looked up briefly but didn’t react much.

The small weekly exam wasn’t very formal, with only an hour and a half of exam time. After it ended, Chen Yi, as the competition class monitor, stood up to help the teacher collect the papers.

He started collecting from the first row. When he reached Ruan Mian’s desk, she was lying on it, and Yu Tian helped hand in her paper. Chen Yi glanced at the exam paper and handed it back: “Name isn’t written.”

Ruan Mian hadn’t been asleep. Hearing the voice, she raised her head again and used a pen to fill in her name.

Chen Yi took the paper and continued walking back. Ruan Mian lay back down on her desk, perhaps from discomfort or something else—in any case, she felt inexplicably sad.

After an unknown amount of time, just as Ruan Mian was drowsily about to fall asleep, a jacket suddenly draped over her head, carrying a familiar scent and aura.

The cool zipper touched her cheek. Ruan Mian suddenly became fully awake, clutched the jacket, and raised her head to see a figure walking past from the front.

Yu Tian beside her, thinking she didn’t know who had given her the jacket, casually mentioned: “This jacket is from Chen Yi.”

Ruan Mian lowered her eyes and hummed in acknowledgment.

While packing up her textbooks, Yu Tian remarked: “I didn’t expect that someone who looks so cold would actually be quite nice to classmates.”

Yes.

He was very nice, but Ruan Mian felt even sadder.

This was merely a bit of kindness unintentionally leaked from between his fingers, yet it was already enough for her to cast aside all her previous unhappiness and dive back into this secret crush known to no one.

This was too unfair.

But feelings had never been something that could be measured by the word “fairness.” It was simply that since ancient times, those who fell in love first had always been one step closer to complete and utter defeat.

Ruan Mian was deeply trapped with no way to extricate herself. In this secret crush, she was destined to be the loser.

……

After school that day, Ruan Mian prepared to return the jacket to Chen Yi, but he had already left the classroom with other classmates first. She had no choice but to take the jacket home.

After bathing that evening, Ruan Mian sat at her desk drying her hair. Fang Ruqing knocked and came in to deliver clothes, but unexpectedly caught sight of the black jacket on the bed.

The jacket was oversized—clearly not girls’ clothing.

Fang Ruqing reached out and picked up the clothes. Ruan Mian looked back and saw her action, her heart skipping a beat. Although it was nothing, she still felt somewhat guilty and proactively explained: “This is a classmate’s jacket. My stomach wasn’t feeling well tonight and I forgot to bring a jacket, so I borrowed clothes from them.”

Compared to the clothes, Fang Ruqing was naturally more concerned about her daughter’s health. Setting aside those scattered thoughts, she asked: “Your stomach wasn’t feeling well? Is it better now?”

“It’s much better already, probably just caught a slight chill.”

Fang Ruqing still couldn’t help but scold: “This is definitely because you haven’t been eating properly lately. Starting tomorrow morning, I’ll call you to get up and eat breakfast.”

Ruan Mian smiled and sighed: “Alright.”

Fang Ruqing was still holding the jacket. “Then I’ll take this down and wash it for you, and you can bring it back to your classmate next Monday?”

Ruan Mian raised her hand and wiped her hair twice with the towel, her expression natural: “Okay, thank you Mom.”

Before leaving, Fang Ruqing didn’t forget to remind her: “Remember to blow-dry your hair before sleeping.”

“I know.”

The room quickly became quiet. Ruan Mian’s bedroom faced Pingjiang Residence. In the darkness, the street lamps lighting up one by one in the distance were like daylight.

On many previous sleepless nights, she had sat here like this, counting those lamps one by one, from left to right, over and over again, until dawn approached.

The next morning, probably to accommodate Ruan Mian’s rest time, Fang Ruqing deliberately delayed breakfast by half an hour and didn’t call Ruan Mian to get up until nearly eight o’clock.

This summer vacation, Duan Ying had taken Zhao Shuyang back to their hometown. After calmly discussing it once with Fang Ruqing, Zhao Yingwei still chose to resign from the poorly managed foreign trade company and instead partnered with friends to start a company, spending the entire vacation inspecting markets in southern cities.

Zhao Shutang had enrolled in a tutoring class and left before 7:30 in the morning. At the breakfast table, there were only Ruan Mian and Fang Ruqing.

Ruan Mian ate until half full, then put down her chopsticks and wiped her mouth, casually asking: “When will Uncle Zhao come back?”

“It’ll be a while yet, probably not until Mid-Autumn Festival.” Fang Ruqing picked up some pickled cucumber with her chopsticks. “Isn’t your competition class arranging the exam this semester?”

“Pretty much, around December.”

Fang Ruqing laughed and also put down her chopsticks. “Are you confident about getting the recommendation?”

Ruan Mian pressed her lips together and thought for a few seconds. “Not very sure, but I’ll do my best.”

“Mm, just do your best in everything, as long as you don’t regret it.” Fang Ruqing stood up to clear the dishes, saying as she walked toward the kitchen: “Your dad and I never expected you to be outstanding or successful. You’re already so excellent now, which is actually somewhat beyond our expectations.”

When Ruan Mian was little, compared to her peers, her development was much slower. Fang Ruqing and Ruan Mingke had once thought she might be somewhat inferior to others intellectually as well. But ever since she started school, Ruan Mian seemed to have suddenly awakened, maintaining her reputation as a good student all the way to being admitted into No. 6 Middle School.

Even now, after transferring to No. 8 Middle School, she was in no way inferior.

Ruan Mian carried the small dish of unfinished pickled cucumber and followed to the kitchen, covered the dish with plastic wrap and put it in the refrigerator, then leaned against the door watching Fang Ruqing tidy up.

“When we first had you transfer schools, I was very worried you wouldn’t keep up with No. 8 Middle School’s pace, worried you wouldn’t adapt well to the new environment in various aspects.” Fang Ruqing turned on the faucet, the sound of water partially covering her voice. “But unexpectedly, after you came to No. 8 Middle School, your grades were even better than at No. 6 Middle School. Every time Mom thinks about it, she feels very proud.”

Ruan Mian smiled and scratched her face. “It’s probably because No. 8 Middle School teachers’ teaching methods are different from No. 6 Middle School’s, and more suitable for me.”

“That’s one aspect, and your hard work is another.” There weren’t many breakfast dishes. Fang Ruqing quickly finished tidying up, dried her hands, and put her arm around Ruan Mian’s shoulders as they walked out. “Shutang only has a half-day of tutoring today. Let’s go find her for lunch at noon, then go shopping together in the afternoon. How does that sound?”

This arrangement and pairing were clearly not in Ruan Mian’s plans, but she didn’t want to refuse Fang Ruqing’s good intentions, so she could only agree: “Okay, whatever you say.”

The remaining time in the morning passed in a flash. At noon, Ruan Mian accompanied Fang Ruqing to pick up Zhao Shutang, had lunch together, then went to a nearby shopping mall for the afternoon.

Not long after Ruan Mian and Zhao Shutang reconciled, Zhao Shutang had returned to school for classes. Naturally, Ruan Mian helping her with tutoring had also stopped.

The two probably still felt awkward. Usually they remained as before, not interacting much and having little connection.

Today suddenly walking together shopping like this, Ruan Mian found everything strange. Talking more wasn’t right, talking less wasn’t right either. In the end, she simply had nothing to say at all.

Midway, passing by the restroom, Fang Ruqing went in to use the toilet. The two girls stood outside carrying their purchases, with enough space between them for three people to stand.

Zhao Shutang noticed her silence and couldn’t help glancing at her several times. The last time happened to catch Ruan Mian’s gaze.

Both were startled. Ruan Mian looked away first, then after a few seconds, turned back to look. “Um, when does your tutoring class run until?”

“…” Zhao Shutang pressed her lips together: “Until before school starts.”

Ruan Mian said “Oh” and had nothing more to say.

Zhao Shutang looked at the distance between them, pretending to be casual as she moved two steps closer to Ruan Mian’s side, asking gently: “How long does your competition class run?”

“Should be until before the competition.” Ruan Mian looked down at the tiny figures below. “If you usually have any questions you don’t understand, you can come to me.”

“…Mm, okay.”

Ruan Mian turned to look at her. “Zhao Shutang, can I ask you a question?”

“What?”

“You said before that my mom marrying Uncle Zhao was for your family’s property, so… is your family going to be relocated?”

“…” This question was both unexpected and somewhat funny. Zhao Shutang couldn’t help but laugh, but quickly stopped, scratching her neck as if embarrassed. “Not really, I just overheard some neighbors chatting about it.”

Actually, Zhao Shutang had heard this from Duan Ying. When Zhao Yingwei came back saying he wanted to register his marriage with Fang Ruqing, Duan Ying kept nagging about it at home.

Originally their family of four had been living well in this alley. Now suddenly a woman appeared with a daughter about her own age wanting to move in. Of course Zhao Shutang couldn’t accept it. Adding in Duan Ying’s biased thoughts, she naturally got led astray.

“After my mom passed away, there was never anyone around my dad. I also thought he would never remarry for the rest of his life, so when he said he wanted to marry Auntie Fang, I felt he had betrayed my mom and also betrayed our family, so…”

Zhao Shutang didn’t continue the rest. Ruan Mian nodded in understanding. “When my dad divorced my mom, I had the same thoughts.”

“…”

Speaking of it, the two were in similar situations. They chatted a few sentences about this topic before Fang Ruqing came out of the restroom, and the three went home.

After dinner that evening, Ruan Mian went to Li Zhi’s place. Chen Yi spent every Saturday at his shop until late, so she went to return the clothes.

Chen Yi received the freshly washed clothes and said thank you.

Ruan Mian was stunned for two seconds before realizing he was talking about the laundry. She smiled with a very small arc. “I should be the one thanking you. Thank you for yesterday.”

He scratched the area around his right eye corner, not particularly concerned. “No problem.”

Ruan Mian pressed her lips together and shook her head twice, making small talk: “Is Li Zhi not here?”

“He’s taking a shower in the back.” Chen Yi looked at her. “Did you need him for something?”

“No, I was just asking.” Ruan Mian said: “Then I’ll head back first.”

“Mm.”

Ruan Mian came out of the shop. Going down the steps, she couldn’t help but look back at the shop once. The boy was lowering his head, standing by the counter counting coins.

The lighting in the shop was bright. For a moment it dazzled her eyes. After a long while, she finally withdrew her gaze and inexplicably sighed.

Back home, Ruan Mian was reading in her room when Zhao Shutang came to knock on the door with a test paper. “Ruan Mian, I have a few questions I want to ask you.”

She went over and opened the door. “Come in.”

Zhao Shutang’s ranking in class for every monthly exam was very far back. The main subjects weren’t a problem—the issue was mainly in the comprehensive science subjects.

After Ruan Mian finished explaining the problems, Zhao Shutang gave her a notebook. “This is Chinese language materials I organized before. See if they’re useful to you.”

Having said that, she stood up and walked out. Ruan Mian turned and called after her: “Zhao Shutang.”

The girl stopped at the door and turned back. “What is it?”

Ruan Mian shook the notebook in her hand, smiling: “Thank you.”

She also smiled. “You’re welcome.”

After that day, interactions between Ruan Mian and Zhao Shutang increased. Although most of the time it was still about going over problems, that awkward feeling that had lingered between them invisibly disappeared.

The new semester arrived quickly. After school started, there were many new unfamiliar faces around campus. This year’s freshman military training performance and opening ceremony were held together.

At last year’s opening ceremony, Ruan Mian had stood below the stage, an ordinary student who couldn’t be picked out from the crowd at a glance. This year she stood on stage as one of the outstanding student representatives from the senior year science classes giving a speech—in many people’s eyes, an unreachable top student, an academic achiever.

The heat of midsummer continued into September. The girl’s gentle but firm voice echoed through loudspeakers around the field across the entire sky.

“…This concludes my speech. Thank you everyone.” Ruan Mian bowed her head slightly and took a small step back. Immediately, thunderous applause erupted from below the stage.

The next speaker was a student from the liberal arts class. When Ruan Mian came down, Zhou Hai was chatting with Chen Yi, who would be the speaker after next. Seeing Ruan Mian, he called her over too.

Zhou Hai said: “The school plans to publish your batch of students’ speeches in the next issue of the school magazine. Later, organize an electronic version of your speech and send it to Director Wu.”

Ruan Mian nodded: “Okay, I understand.”

Zhou Hai held his newly bought water cup and smiled: “I just heard Chen Yi say that in this small weekly exam, you were first in the class again. Keep it up, try to get me a recommendation spot by year-end.”

Ruan Mian nodded and raised her hand to tuck the stray hair by her ear behind it.

Zhou Hai looked at Chen Yi again: “You too, kid. Don’t think that just because you’re preparing to apply to foreign schools, you can not care about the recommendation quota. If you don’t get first prize, don’t come see me.”

Chen Yi smiled carelessly, his tone lazy: “I can’t say for sure whether I’ll get first prize, but if I go, I won’t come back empty-handed.”

“You, kid.” Zhou Hai patted his shoulder with his hand, sighing: “No wonder your Teacher Wang likes you—it’s exactly this unreasonable arrogance of yours.”

He shook his head and clicked his tongue: “You won’t find a second person like this in all of No. 8 Middle School.”

Chen Yi tilted his head and smiled, using his thumb knuckle to rub his forehead.

After a while, Director Wu called Chen Yi to prepare for the next speech. Zhou Hai patted his shoulder twice more. “Go on.”

“Then I’ll head over first.” After Chen Yi finished speaking with Zhou Hai, he also looked at Ruan Mian standing to the side, wanting to greet her, but the girl seemed to be in a daze and didn’t notice him.

He didn’t mind and withdrew his gaze, walking up the stairs nearby.

Zhou Hai sighed several times as if feeling emotional. Turning back to see Ruan Mian’s distracted appearance, he called out: “Ruan Mian?”

Ruan Mian snapped out of her trance.

Zhou Hai chuckled: “What’s wrong? Standing there and spacing out—is the pressure too much lately?”

Ruan Mian shook her head: “No.”

“Don’t take my words to heart. Whether you win awards or not doesn’t matter, as long as you do your best.” Zhou Hai, worried that his words had actually pressured her, consoled: “Anyway, with your current grades, getting into schools in the capital won’t be difficult.”

“I know, thank you, Teacher Zhou.” Ruan Mian took small, deep breaths, but still couldn’t suppress the impulse in her heart. She asked: “Teacher Zhou, is Chen Yi planning to go abroad?”

“Yes, he’s preparing to study physics at UC Berkeley. I think he started preparing last year.” Zhou Hai looked at her. “What, are you thinking about it too?”

Ruan Mian blinked: “No, I’m just curious.”

Zhou Hai smiled: “To be honest, as a teacher I certainly hope you’ll go further and higher, but speaking as an elder, for a girl to leave home and study abroad is quite tough. Personally, I wouldn’t really recommend you follow Chen Yi’s path.”

Ruan Mian didn’t say anything, just nodded.

A group of teachers nearby were chatting and called Zhou Hai over. He held his cup and touched the wall of it, saying to Ruan Mian: “You go do what you need to do. Remember to send the speech to Director Wu.”

“Okay, I understand.”

Ruan Mian circled around the crowd and quickly left the field. When she reached a deserted spot, she suddenly bent over, taking large, deep breaths.

Clearly in the open air, yet she felt like a fish about to drown.

—

**Author’s Note:** “People change. He likes pineapples today, tomorrow he can like something else.”

—”Chungking Express,” will delete if infringement.