Though Shen Jun held the noble position of empress, right now she was outside, and addressing Zhu Yushen as “Fourth Brother” before others was truly disrespectful. Everyone was instantly alarmed and bowed down one after another.

Zhu Yushen’s retreating figure paused, then turned around.

Shen Jun said, “Father, please accompany Xuan’er and Jin’er for me first. Little Xi, take everyone back into the residence.” Then to Su Jin and Zhai Di she said, “Shiyu, Lord Zhai, since you need to rush back to the Imperial Censorate, there’s no need to linger here. Be careful as it’s getting late.”

Su Jin glanced at Zhu Yushen. Seeing he seemed to acquiesce, she and Zhai Di responded together, “Yes.”

Soon the crowd on the long street dispersed. Even the sun had dimmed somewhat. Clouds were slowly gathering—snow would likely fall soon.

Shen Jun walked to Zhu Yushen’s side. “I’ll accompany Fourth Brother for a stretch.”

Zhu Yushen’s eyes darkened.

In their youth, every time he went on campaign, she would chase after him. Ten li of battlefield, to the ends of the earth—she always had to stay by his side. Later, after they married and she became a mother, she could no longer be as willful as before. When he went on campaign and she saw him off, he would say, “Walk with me for a stretch.”

Northern frontier winds and sand, desolate grass and weeds—her red garments were the finest scenery.

Back then she always complained, “Every time we part, Fourth Brother has Third Sister accompany him for a stretch. It’s utterly tasteless.”

Yet her eyes shone like stars, vivid and alive—clearly she was also willing.

Zhu Yushen looked at Shen Jun, silent for a long while, then responded with an “mm.”

The guards had all withdrawn beyond the street. The two walked along the long street like this, slowly moving forward.

After a while, Zhu Yushen asked, “How long do you plan to stay this time you’ve returned to the capital?”

“Hard to say,” Shen Jun replied. “I might leave after the New Year, or perhaps tomorrow, or the day after.”

Her lashes felt slightly cool. Shen Jun looked up to see clouds so thick they could barely hold together—snow had already begun to fall.

“I don’t wish to return to the capital,” she said after watching the snow for a while. “Nor do I wish to stay in Yingtian Prefecture. If not for Father and Mother, for Xuan’er and Jin’er, I wouldn’t have come back this time. Being able to see them just now was enough. Fourth Brother has taken very good care of Xuan’er and Jin’er. They… have already grown up.”

The Shen family’s ancestral home was in Suzhou, but Shen Jun had grown up in Yingtian Prefecture since childhood. Calling herself a Jinling native would not be inappropriate. Unfortunately, since Zhu Yushen became emperor, she no longer belonged here.

Zhu Yushen understood clearly but made no sound.

“Children of the imperial family, once they grow up, must fight and compete on their own. Fourth Brother has today because he fought for it, so regarding how to teach Xuan’er and Jin’er, Fourth Brother is far more perceptive than I am. I’m not worried about that.”

Speaking thus, Shen Jun stopped walking to watch the snow falling rustling to the ground. “Right now, the one I feel most sorry for, most cannot feel at ease about, is little Xi.”

“Others see him as a high official and noble, with high rank and rich salary, blessed all his life and rising smoothly. Though not born into the imperial family, this honor he possesses is nearly unmatched under heaven. But I understand him—”

Though they had quarreled since childhood, she understood him best.

“What this person values least is power and authority. Yet he’s also not like Thirteen, who could focus solely on what lay before him, nor like Liu Yun and Su Shiyu, who harbored lofty distant ambitions. He sees many things quite indifferently. What he cares about are only family members and those close to his heart.”

“When we were young, he always told me that when he grew up, he would travel everywhere, seeing sun, moon, mountains and rivers, going wherever his feet took him. When tired, he’d lay his head down to sleep—heaven as cover, earth as mat, stone as couch, bamboo as companion. His heart would hold everything and also nothing. If he ran out of money, he’d set up a fortune-telling stall to divine for people, since he’d read the Book of Changes several times through.”

“At the time I only took it as jest. Looking back now, perhaps those were his true feelings.”

“He was born too clever, with a naturally transparent heart, so he understood that wealth and worldly glory are like clouds, that decades of ups and downs in officialdom amount to futility. Better to live freely while one can. So in this lifetime, if he still wants to yearn for anything for himself, seek anything, it might only be those two characters: freedom and ease.”

Reaching this point, Shen Jun sighed with a laugh. “Unfortunately, it’s also because he’s too clever. Clever enough that while still a youth not yet grown, he calculated that there would be succession struggles in the palace later, calculated that elder sister’s marriage to the late crown prince would inevitably drag Shen residence deep into the succession vortex, and also calculated that though he yearned for freedom in this life, throughout his entire existence he might never attain it.”

Shen Xi had begun planning from that time how to preserve Shen residence and the Eastern Palace in the mire and swamp.

When Shen Jun insisted on marrying Zhu Yushen, Shen Xi was only sixteen. Even then he warned her, “If elder sister marries the Crown Prince, you should not marry any Zhu family heir.”

But his greatest weakness in life was family. Knowing Shen Jun’s affection for Zhu Yushen was deeply rooted, he only mentioned this once and didn’t insist further, letting her follow her own heart.

“But if he’s so clever, why did he still lose again and again, suffer utter defeat?”

Zhu Yushen said, “Though Qingyue is extremely intelligent, he has no obsession in his heart. When assisting Zhu Minda, he didn’t actually recognize this sovereign. When assisting Zhu Nanxian, though he recognized and trusted him, whether it was Qingyue, Su Shiyu, or Thirteen, their bid for the throne at that time was only because circumstances forced them to this step. They sought the throne only to survive.”

Yet if the imperial family’s heirs, those embroiled in power struggles, had not a shred of obsession with the throne itself, not a shred of conviction, how could they win in the end?

“Moreover, Qingyue’s intelligence lies in talent and capability, not in scheming.”

Some people’s intelligence could preserve themselves while benefiting all under heaven, yet they could not scheme.

Shen Jun said, “What pains my heart is that such a free-spirited person, for family, for Shen residence, must be confined in the palace for life. Half a lifetime spent rushing about for others, unable to love what he dares love, unable to hate what he cannot hate—seemingly infinitely glorious on the surface, utterly desolate to the bone. Actually, Fourth Brother forcing Shiyu back gives me some comfort. At least in the future there’ll be someone he fully trusts to accompany him.”

“Fourth Brother,” Shen Jun said softly again. “This subject woman has no more desires in this life. I only hope that when the realm is settled in the future, Fourth Brother can release little Xi.”

She addressed him as “Fourth Brother” yet did not call herself “Third Sister.”

Zhu Yushen was stunned for a moment, then understood. So when she called him “Fourth Brother,” it wasn’t from lingering affection—it was because she didn’t want to recognize him as emperor and thus wouldn’t say “Your Majesty.” She didn’t wish to offend him and implicate Shen residence, so she couldn’t call him by name directly. Thinking it over, only the address “Fourth Brother” remained.

How pitiful that what was once most intimate had now become most distant.

Zhu Yushen looked at Shen Jun, recalling how when she spoke earlier of wanting to leave, of not wishing to return to the capital, her tone was crisp and decisive.

The red jacket was clearly a stunning beauty, yet she wore it with three parts dashing heroic spirit.

But wasn’t she exactly like this? When loving someone, she loved obstinately. But once affection was severed and thoughts cut off, carving heart and scraping bone, no matter how painful, she would let go.

“After you leave the capital, where will you go?”

“I don’t know either.” Shen Jun laughed self-mockingly. “I went to many places with Fourth Brother back then, but never looked carefully or observed closely. Now half a life has passed. Since I’ll have no mundane matters occupying me anyway, I’ll go see various places throughout the realm.”

In the past she went to many places with him, but her eyes held only him, not this mortal world.

Now it was different. Her eyes would hold only this mortal world and would no longer have him.

Zhu Yushen lowered his eyes, wanting to ask if she would return.

But he was a silent person, even more passive when it came to matters of affection. Though he treated her extremely well before, she was the one who sought marriage, and she was also the one who severed all ties. The only time he took initiative was when he deceived her.

Shen Jun seemed to understand what he wanted to ask. “Unless absolutely necessary, in the future, I… will no longer return.”

The snow was fine and dense, falling lavishly like willow catkins, like the windblown sand kicked up by horse hooves on the day of campaign, like the endless desolate grass and weeds of so many years ago when he looked back and she chased out, saying, “Fourth Brother, whenever you return, that’s when you should marry me!”

Shen Jun said, “When we were young and little Xi said he wanted to travel everywhere, I actually envied him terribly, resenting that I wasn’t born male so I could follow him and go where my heart pleased. I thought that once elder sister and I married, once the late crown prince ascended, he would be free, at ease. Never imagined…”

Never imagined things would turn out contrary to wishes. In the end, Shen Xi was trapped in the palace as if marking the ground as prison, while she became a rootless duckweed.

So be it. Fortunately she could go see these thousands of miles of rivers and mountains, see what this realm these people fought and struggled for all their lives, seizing the throne, truly was.

In any case, this was Shen Xi’s wish and also her wish. Every bit of fine scenery and landscape, every glimpse of mortal world’s fireworks she saw, she would write in letters to tell little Xi.

This could be counted as the only thing she as his elder sister could do for him.

Oh right, the letters written back couldn’t explicitly state they were for little Xi. Every one should be delivered to Shiyu’s hands.

Lest he be deluded about her feelings.

Light footsteps in snow sounded behind them. Shen Jun and Zhu Yushen turned to look, only to see Shen Xi had arrived at some point, two black velvet cloaks draped over his arm. His brows and eyes were immersed in twilight snow, elegantly peerless. The somewhat sharp look in his eyes became gentle the instant they turned back, hanging out a smile of unknown sincerity. “This subject saw the snow falling and came to deliver cloaks for His Majesty and Third Sister.”

He was worried about Shen Jun—Zhu Yushen knew this.

Just as part of the reason Shen Jun wanted to leave the capital was fear that her status would implicate Shen Xi if she stayed long at Shen residence.

Shen Xi walked before Zhu Yushen and said again, “Since Your Majesty and Third Sister have matters to discuss, why not go into the residence? It’s already growing dark.”

Shen Jun said, “We’ve already finished talking.” Then she walked to Shen Xi’s side, wanting to bow to Zhu Yushen together with him.

But His Majesty hadn’t said he was leaving. If they bowed now, wouldn’t that be disrespectful?

Shen Xi glanced at her, imperceptibly handing the cloak in his hands to Zhu Yushen, saying warmly, “Though the snow is fine, Your Majesty should be careful not to let the cold air penetrate.”

Zhu Yushen accepted it but didn’t put it on, calling out, “Que Yu.”

A guard appeared at the street corner. “Does Your Majesty wish to return to the palace?”

Zhu Yushen didn’t answer. Through the falling snow, he looked at Shen Jun once more, then turned around and walked alone toward the street corner.