Tang Yingxue looked at the notebook in her hand, unable to help wondering—was the “little bird” in this diary really a bird?

If it was merely a bird, the emotions he’d devoted to a pet seemed far too much.

And she actually couldn’t compare to a pet.

Thinking of this point, a sense of defeat with nowhere to vent floated up from deep within Tang Yingxue’s heart, and she suddenly didn’t want to continue reading this diary.

She sighed softly. Looking at the half-hour flight time remaining before landing, she rubbed her eyes and continued flipping through.

However, strangely, from this page onward, many pages showed traces of being torn out. Not until much later did another line of writing appear, the handwriting having changed once more compared to before—very chaotic.

“xxxx year x month x day

So your wings have hardened, is that it?”

When Yu Jiaze wrote this line, it was after learning Wu Man had gotten herself sterilized.

He couldn’t describe his emotions in that instant.

When he first learned Wu Man was pregnant, his initial reaction was disbelief, along with instinctive overwhelming disgust.

He knew all too well what method Yu Chenyang’s mother had used to enter the family. It was nothing more than the child in her belly.

Although that woman held the nominal title of stepmother on the surface, it was in name only. His father had never formally given her the status of Mrs. Yu, but at least among those women she’d stood out, moved into the Yu family home, and lay in the bed his mother had once slept in, shamelessly claiming to be part of his family.

Yu Jiaze remembered that day coming home from school and seeing in the garden a woman with a protruding belly watering flowers.

He’d thought she was a newly hired gardener and found it curious why they’d hire a pregnant woman with mobility issues.

The woman hurriedly stopped what she was doing, supporting her belly as she smiled at him.

“You’re Jiaze, right?”

“You should call me Young Master.” He rebuked coldly. “So lacking in manners. Did Auntie Liu hire you?”

Embarrassment and helplessness flashed across the woman’s face. He heard his father’s voice coming from the balcony.

“I hired her.”

Yu Jiaze raised his head, seeing the man’s tall and blurred silhouette in the backlight.

“She’ll be living with us from now on.” Father Yu held a cigar between his fingertips, smoke slowly drifting upward. “You’ll be a big brother from now on.”

His gaze fell from the balcony, freezing on the woman’s swollen shape.

She gave him another extremely disgusting smile.

His eyes darkened. He returned the woman’s smile brilliantly, saying: “…Welcome, Auntie.”

The woman hadn’t expected the seemingly gloomy youth before her would be willing to accept her so quickly. The ten thousand strategies she’d thought of in her mind instantly became useless. It seemed the son, like the father, was quite easy to handle.

She wouldn’t have imagined that just a few days later, she’d be pushed down the stairs by the youth.

The instant she hit the ground, struggling to raise her head toward the top of the stairs, the youth Yu Jiaze stood there with upright posture, clapped his hands, and showed the same smile from their first meeting, his lips forming the words: Welcome, Auntie.

Her lower abdomen contracted violently, slick fishiness flowing from between the woman’s legs. Before she fainted, her face still carried trembling terror.

But cheap lives were similar to cockroaches—always unkillable. Yu Jiaze felt great regret that the woman’s child hadn’t miscarried because of this, but was born two months premature.

Father Yu was furious because of this. He directly arranged for Yu Jiaze’s school to change from day school to boarding, isolating him. From then on, the Yu family residence became a place he only went to during holidays.

But that had originally been his home.

The cuckoo occupying the magpie’s nest—Yu Jiaze didn’t understand why in the end, the person expelled was himself. While the premature Yu Chenyang received endless preferential treatment.

He knew with his abilities, he could completely break away and establish his own household. But why should he? That was originally his. He was unwilling.

What was his, he absolutely would never hand over to others for nothing. Much less to a woman who traded on her looks with vile intentions.

He most despised this type of woman who threw herself at men, which was why he toyed with them at his fingertips, but regarding anything that might impregnate them, he was always very careful and cautious. One fool like Yu Chenyang in the world was already an unbearable burden.

But it seemed there were always desperate goods wanting to take a risky try. They treated him like the grand prize placed at the very end in a ring toss game, thinking they could catch him with that kind of laughable trap.

Before Wu Man, he couldn’t even remember how many had used such methods to try to deceive him.

He’d forgotten most of those in between, but he vaguely remembered something about the first woman who tried to deceive him.

That woman was a model who claimed she was in an ascending career period but had gotten pregnant—undoubtedly a huge blow. After weighing it over and over, she didn’t want to terminate it because the child’s father was him.

He’d asked her at the time: “Do you think I’ll marry you?”

That woman said carefully: “But the baby in my belly is really yours…”

Yu Jiaze at the time found it especially laughable. In his eyes, that was just a piece of filthy, half-dead meat. He wasn’t even interested in judging the truth or falsehood of the woman’s words.

But when Wu Man told him she was also pregnant, after the first wave of disbelief and disgust receded, what emerged was a kind of… very wonderful warmth.

Blood from his limbs rushed to his heart, frantically reminding him that his bloodline was now in another woman’s blood, and this person was his little bird.

Just thinking of this point made his whole body tremble.

This child would become the bond between him and her, connecting them even more tightly together. This way, she’d be even more unable to leave him.

This feeling was too unfamiliar, making Yu Jiaze only feel flustered. He feigned calmness, putting on the posture he was best at using with those women, mechanically asking Wu Man: “Did the condom really break on its own?”

His intuition told him his little bird wouldn’t scheme against him.

But what he’d experienced reminded him that between people, everything was interest-driven intrigue. If you don’t strike first, that bit of naivety will be controlled by others, and in the end you’ll be killed without a single piece of armor remaining.

Hearing this, Wu Man’s chest heaved dramatically.

She stared at him without blinking: “Do you think I’d use something like a child to scheme for what from you?”

“You’ve been with me for three years. Naturally what you seek is different now.” Yu Jiaze said matter-of-factly. “A woman’s best youth is only these few years. If you don’t grab on tight, won’t it all come to nothing in the end?”

“…You think I want to use the child as leverage to marry you?”

“You don’t need to deny it. Your mother lacked just such an opportunity back then, didn’t she?”

“So you think I’d follow her example and also hope to marry into a wealthy family?” Wu Man showed an extremely sarcastic smile. “Then do you know or not—your kind of family, in my eyes, doesn’t count as any wealthy family at all, but a ghost gate! The people inside all have no human warmth, living like walking corpses! I shouldn’t have come to ask you. Even if you agreed to let me give birth, I wouldn’t let the child grow up in that kind of environment!”

She slammed the door and left. This was the first time the little bird had defied him with such a strong reaction.

But he didn’t feel the violence he’d expected from himself, but was stunned instead.

He couldn’t help thinking—are you angry at me for our child’s sake?

This child—should he make her terminate it?

On this matter where he’d always been decisive, Yu Jiaze hesitated for the first time.

During that period, he received an invitation from Young Master Qi. He’d gotten married and had a child last year. The child’s first birthday banquet invited a whole group from their circle to attend. To observe propriety, he’d also sent Yu Jiaze an invitation.

After all, having had friction with Young Master Qi, Yu Jiaze originally hadn’t considered attending at all, but when his assistant asked whether to add it to his schedule, he hesitated for a while, then nodded and said to go.

At the first birthday banquet, he walked before Young Master Qi and his wife, staring straight at the small baby they held in their arms. His focused gaze made Young Master Qi’s scalp tighten, thinking this guy was having another episode. He quickly stepped forward: “Long time no see, President Yu.”

Yu Jiaze withdrew his studying gaze, thinking human cubs were really interesting—small head, round hands, short legs, just an ugly face.

If it were his and the little bird’s child, it would definitely be very cute.

He unconsciously smiled. Young Master Qi caught his unconscious gentleness and shuddered all over in fright.

Yu Jiaze restrained the corners of his mouth and asked blandly: “Congratulations on becoming a father.”

Young Master Qi snorted: “Make the red envelope big. Skip the pleasantries.”

Yu Jiaze turned to leave. His footsteps paused, he turned back to look at that child again, asking: “What does… being a father feel like?”

“If you want to know so badly, go have one yourself. You’re thirty too. It’s time.”

Yu Jiaze seemed about to speak but stopped, leaving the banquet hall to space out on the rooftop for a while.

He didn’t dare admit to himself that hidden beneath his disgust toward the child, at a deeper level, was fear.

How should one be a good father? The only image he’d seen was his own father.

But his subconscious felt it shouldn’t be like that.

He hadn’t expected that while he was still hesitating, his little bird made the decision for him—taking the initiative to terminate the child.

After shock came rage. He rushed to the hospital room in a hurry. The anger he’d originally meant to unleash on Wu Man froze when he saw her lying frail on the hospital bed.

The first thing she said when she saw him was—

“I know what to do. I didn’t cause you any trouble.”

She reported it like work, without emotion. What miscarried wasn’t only that child. He didn’t know that some other things had also permanently flowed away.

He stood in the doorway, his palms tucked in his coat slowly forming fists.

“I didn’t tell you to terminate it.”

“You also didn’t want me to give birth to it.” Wu Man smiled faintly. “Better to end it early. I don’t even know if the child was male or female. This way I’m not too sad. It’s like I just lost weight.”

The more she smiled, the more his heart constricted.

Yu Jiaze clenched his jaw. In the end, he just looked at her coldly, saying concisely: “Right. It shouldn’t have been born.”

He ultimately didn’t step forward, turning to close the hospital room door and sitting in the corridor outside. Because this floor was high-level rooms, it was very quiet, yet he heard chirping bird calls.

Yu Jiaze lowered his head and saw a bloody little bird appear in his hand.

Its pitch-black, innocent, clear pupils turned toward him, naively calling: Hello.

And in his other hand appeared a bloody knife.

Yu Jiaze was greatly alarmed, his back violently leaning backward, pressing against the cold, pale wall.

He gasped for breath. Before long, a large patch of cold sweat seeped from his forehead. Looking at his hands again, only slightly trembling tendons protruded from the backs of his hands.

He sat in the corridor until deep into the night. Before leaving, he looked through the transparent gap in the hospital room door, gazing at Wu Man’s sleeping face as she lay flat. His hand unconsciously reached for the door handle, then stopped halfway.

Finally, he withdrew his hand and left the hospital without looking back.

The assistant recently discovered his boss had become somewhat abnormal.

Usually Yu Jiaze was already workaholic enough, but recently he’d become even more obsessed with work. Otherwise he’d lock himself in his office not knowing what he was tinkering with. In any case, he was constantly stationed at the company. This made the assistant’s days miserable too—they could only be described as inhumane.

Rare that Yu Jiaze hadn’t come to the office all day today, the assistant was delighted almost to the point of ascending to heaven. Just when he thought he could happily clock out and go home to lie around, he received a message from his boss.

This time the assigned task was unprecedentedly excessive—late at night, making him go to a cemetery to deliver something.

The happy smile froze on his face. He was really about to ascend to heaven.

Could working people really be ordered around like this?! Go to a cemetery? Could they not do such gloomy things!

The assistant was so worked up he wanted to angrily retort: “Deliver your mom’s stuff—why don’t you have me arrange your funeral!”

After having this internal climax, he cautiously sent Yu Jiaze two words: Okay.

Following Yu Jiaze’s instructions, he rummaged through the closet in his office, finally finding a rectangular wooden box on the very top shelf.

He didn’t look closely. The sky outside was already growing darker. He didn’t want to brave the cemetery late at night, so he quickly reached up to grab it and leave.

However, sometimes the more rushed the movement, the more flustered.

He reached once, and the bag came crashing down onto his face.

The wooden box’s lid fell open, and the contents inside rolled a good half meter on the carpet.

The assistant thought he was done for. If it broke, he wouldn’t need to come back from the cemetery tonight—just bury himself there.

He frantically picked it up in a cold sweat. Fortunately, it was a wooden carved figurine, not some fragile item.

The assistant breathed a huge sigh of relief, examining this thing for a moment, unable to discern what it was supposed to be.

…It seemed like a hatching chick?

Which boutique sold such crude carving, or was this some new emerging abstract art school that ordinary people like him didn’t understand?

In any case, as long as it wasn’t broken!

He grabbed the wooden box and rushed to the address Yu Jiaze gave.

The car drove toward the wilderness for about an hour before stopping at the cemetery entrance. He quickly called Yu Jiaze to indicate he’d arrived.

At the dead silent cemetery entrance, a man in black clothes gradually walked toward him.

Yu Jiaze extended his hand: “The thing?”

He made a sound of acknowledgment and carefully presented the wooden box.

He watched the boss take the wooden box, casually instructing “you can go,” then walk back toward the depths of the cemetery, his back gradually receding into the distance.

Two more years passed. He finally decided to resign and hadn’t heard news of Yu Jiaze for a long time.

He never would have imagined that the next time he learned of Yu Jiaze would be news of his death.

Although the Yu family patricide case occurred abroad, it caused an uproar domestically that lasted a long time. Many people knew he’d once worked under Yu Jiaze and roundaboutly tried to extract gossip from him, not understanding how Yu Jiaze could be so demented.

He didn’t understand either. Although while working under Yu Jiaze he’d cursed the capitalist oppressing him to quickly drop dead every day in his heart, when this day actually came, he felt especially melancholic, feeling life’s impermanence.

Yu Jiaze might not have been a good son, but he absolutely couldn’t be considered a terrible boss. Strong business capability aside, while working under him, he’d once urgently needed a large sum of money due to family troubles. When he had nowhere to turn and borrowed from Yu Jiaze, he’d given it without a word, never considering whether someone of his economic status could pay it back.

This money was perhaps just a small amount of pocket change to Yu Jiaze, but that didn’t mean he had an obligation to lend it. He was grateful for this kindness, which was why he’d stayed by his side for so many years without leaving.

For this old employer, he felt he should still see him off.

Yu Jiaze’s ashes were claimed by relatives from his mother’s side. On the day of burial, when arriving at the somewhat familiar cemetery, the assistant suddenly realized this was the same place he’d delivered the wooden box all those years ago.

He’d apparently already chosen a plot for himself here back then.

And the wooden box delivered then had been sealed in the grave all these years, becoming his only burial object.

A scoop of earth fell down, covering the wooden box and the pitch-black coffin.

The large box and small box sank together into the earth, bidding farewell to daylight.

He somehow thought again of Yu Jiaze at age thirty that year, his back gradually receding into the distance at the cemetery.

“Dear passengers, the flight you’re on will be landing soon. Please put away your tray tables and adjust your seat backs…”

Inside the cabin, the announcement began. Tang Yingxue quickly flipped through a few more pages, discovering the notebook had no more entries from that day onward. She finally closed it listlessly.

After more than ten hours of flight, when the plane landed it was already daytime. The driver picked her up and asked if she wanted to return to the Tang household to rest. She said no need and directly gave the cemetery’s location.

She should have gone on his death anniversary, but some matters had delayed her, causing her to only return to the country now.

Stopping by a flower shop to buy a bouquet, during the long drive afterward, Tang Yingxue put in earphones and found the song mentioned in the diary to listen to—”Chi Qing Si.”

The lyrics spoke of unfinished dreams and unfulfilled wishes, of debts of longing that kept accumulating.

The car drove past lush tree-lined paths, stopping at the cemetery entrance.

Tang Yingxue held the flowers and walked toward that desolate grave with no one caring for it.

She’d thought that with so much time passed since the anniversary, the flowers sent earlier should have all withered.

She stopped in her tracks, looking ahead in surprise.

A full, fresh bouquet—she didn’t know who had sent it—was blooming before his grave.

The song’s final lines played in her ears about meeting again in heaven, if not in this life.

Tang Yingxue stared at those flowers, her heart filled with questions she’d never have answered.

Bird-Keeping Diary (End)