Xiao Han looked down from the third-floor window and saw a black sedan driving through the orphanage gates.

Whenever such vehicles arrived, it meant an opportunity to leave for those living here. Yet she knew very clearly in her heart that such an opportunity would never fall to her.

She withdrew her gaze from below, settling it desolately on the glass window. The not-particularly-clean window surface reflected the face of a twelve-year-old girl—bright eyes, a delicate nose, full apple cheeks. If one didn’t look at the mouth, the features assembled together could barely earn the word “cute.”

But… everyone who saw her for the first time, without exception, would only look at her mouth.

Her upper lip was gruesomely split, extending all the way to her nostril, making her a little monster that everyone found repulsive, showing its teeth and claws.

She had once seen an image in an encyclopedia—a pristine, flawless ice field that had cracked open due to the irresistible force of an earthquake, revealing a huge black fissure that looked heart-stoppingly terrifying, perfectly matching her face.

No one would want to take away such a little monster. Even her biological parents wouldn’t want her—that must be why they abandoned her.

She didn’t even have her own name. The day she was found happened to be the Xiaohan solar term, so she was casually given this name.

Back then she was still very young, without a clear understanding of her own face, and would very naively and hopefully await the arrival of such cars. Because then she could leave the orphanage.

She dreamed of leaving this place.

The orphanage rooms were the most rudimentary communal sleeping platforms, cold in winter and hot in summer. When summer arrived, it felt like sleeping on a stove. She would toss and turn on the hard wooden boards, and the white pillow and sheets beneath her had already been stained large patches of pale yellow by sweat, giving off an unpleasant odor. But none of this was the worst part—the most unbearable thing was the cold winter. The heating was just one thin small pipe installed in the corner, and the windows weren’t sturdy, always letting cold wind leak through.

No one was willing to sleep in the drafty position by the window, so that position became hers.

The first time she slept there, she woke up after one night feeling dizzy and heavy-headed. She huddled shivering in the thin blanket, feeling as if her throat had been inserted into that heating pipe, burning painfully.

Everyone else got up to eat breakfast, and she became a forgotten island.

Tingting appeared at this moment. She had just arrived at the orphanage not long ago and was assigned to the upper bunk above Xiao Han.

She had overslept and climbed down from the upper bunk, curiously glancing at the deathly pale Xiao Han and asking crisply, “What’s wrong with you?”

Her consciousness was in complete chaos. That voice was clearly right beside the bed, yet seemed very far away. She could only helplessly shake her head, not knowing how to express her discomfort.

Seeing this, Tingting reached out her chubby little hand, touched her forehead, and quickly ran off.

After a long while, Xiao Han felt something small and thin being pressed into her palm—a pill that saved her life during that high fever.

From then on, her empty world was filled by another baby-faced little girl.

They were both picky eaters and would share the foods the other didn’t like. In the dusty courtyard, they would play cat’s cradle and kick shuttlecocks together. Tingting would also read fairy tale books to her. Because of her mouth, her speech was always unclear. But Tingting never minded this.

Xiao Han gradually thought that if she had Tingting, it didn’t matter if she never left the orphanage.

Until that day, when another black car drove into the courtyard.

She and Tingting, along with the other children from the orphanage, were all called over. As usual, an unfamiliar man and woman got out of the car and looked around at them.

When their gazes swept over her, they involuntarily frowned slightly. Then their eyes moved to Tingting beside her.

Tingting gripped her hand, appearing very nervous.

“What’s your name?”

That woman looked at Tingting twice, then suddenly asked aloud.

Tingting was just about to answer when her nose wrinkled and she sneezed earth-shatteringly. The man beside her immediately showed a critical expression on his face.

“Xiao Han, did I mess things up…”

Tingting lowered her head, saying very softly with a tearful tone.

She felt somewhat at a loss and could only grip the other’s palm even tighter with more force.

That man and woman whispered a few words to the director, then followed her away toward the director’s office. Before leaving, the director also called Tingting away alone.

Xiao Han immediately thought they were going to scold Tingting for her rudeness and secretly followed, circling around to the courtyard. She stacked bricks under her feet and quietly poked out half her face to peek worriedly inside.

In the office, the director didn’t have the cold face she had imagined, but was smiling slightly as she touched Tingting’s head. Her mouth opened and closed saying something. The woman across pointed at Tingting, and the man nodded.

They walked in front of Tingting. The woman crouched down and straightened the girl’s collar.

Then, Xiao Han saw Tingting’s mouth corners lift up, revealing the most brilliant smile she had never seen before.

This scene was beautiful, harmonious all around, without the punishment and difficulties she had imagined.

But for some reason, a huge sense of loss welled up in her heart instead.

Xiao Han withdrew her head and crouched under the dilapidated window ledge, looking up at the gray sky.

Tingting left the orphanage very quickly after that day.

Before leaving, she gave Xiao Han a small tin box of hers, containing the worn flower strings and shuttlecock. She said she had a new family now, they would buy her better toys, these things were no longer useful to her, so she left them for Xiao Han.

But no one was willing to play these things with her anymore. She returned to her previous life.

The children here all wanted to leave, to be adopted by new families.

Adoption meant a change in life trajectory. Whether good or bad, it was always better than the days at the orphanage where they couldn’t eat their fill or dress warmly—days whose end could be seen at a glance.

With many monks but little porridge, the children here learned scheming and self-decoration too early. There was no such thing as friendship; everyone was a potential hungry wolf. Even if real friendship existed, it could easily vanish in an instant, just like her and Tingting. Once a person is disappointed, they activate a self-protective mechanism and no longer waste useless emotions.

She began trying hard to learn to speak, so that at least when others asked her name, she could pronounce it clearly word by word with effort. After all, she wasn’t like Tingting, who even if she made mistakes, could be forgiven without concern thanks to her pleasing appearance.

Xiao. Han. Every day she would crouch in the courtyard looking at the sky, practicing these two words, finally able to make these two syllables sound beautiful and pleasant.

Every time a car came in, she was prepared.

But no one ever asked her, “What’s your name?” All that remained for her were identical frightened looks.

As she grew older, she no longer harbored any hope of being adopted. The older the child, the less likely prospective families would consider them. They all only liked young, innocent children.

She thought that the meaning of her solitary existence was to serve as a reference point for those young children. When others compared her, they would be more willing to take away the others.

She didn’t know where her way out was. Though only twelve years old, she already felt she had lived long enough.

Xiao Han was the last to walk into the activity room.

Although she was twelve, already the oldest among this group of children, she had developed poorly and was short in stature. Standing in the back row, she could only be submerged.

She raised her head to look toward the front, where stood a man and a woman, seemingly no different from the past.

But what was rather strange was that both of them were wearing sunglasses.

Did they have bad eyesight?

This thought had just flashed through her mind when she saw those two people simultaneously remove their sunglasses, as if they both had another eye on the side of their faces that could see each other’s movements, showing such perfect coordination that no other signal was needed.

The children looked at them and all gasped in unison. She was no exception.

In all these years, countless people had come to adopt, but Xiao Han swore these were the most perfectly matched couple she had ever seen.

Her meager vocabulary couldn’t describe the breathtakingly stunning feeling when they removed their sunglasses. Her heart beat so fast, her palms sweated, her legs went weak, and she wished she could rush out of the activity room the next moment.

She thought of her ugly lips, which made her feel that being in the same room with them was an insult to them.

Xiao Han deeply lowered her head.

They didn’t casually scan the children like previous people had, as if picking them out like merchandise on a shelf.

The man, who looked younger than the woman, walked in front of each child in turn, crouched down, rubbed their heads, and gently asked them what their names were. Even his voice was as soft and gentle as a spring breeze.

Xiao Han witnessed this scene and unconsciously held her breath.

Would this person also walk in front of her and ask her in the same way? If every child could be asked, wouldn’t she also be able to… She suddenly harbored this delusion.

No, it won’t happen. She dimly shook her head, warning herself not to hold expectations.

A man who looked this good would surely find her deformed mouth even more unacceptable.

She shrank into a more hidden corner, creating a large distance between herself and the crowd, quietly waiting for the man to walk in front of her and then turn away. It was okay—she had long been accustomed to this disappointment.

“What’s your name?”

However, that spring breeze suddenly blew right in front of her.

Xiao Han couldn’t believe it. Her already dull brain completely froze at this moment. She jerkily raised her head and crashed into the man’s curious gaze.

Standing, he was even taller than she had imagined. She only reached a bit above his knee.

The man quickly crouched down, eliminating the oppression brought by the height difference. His large hand rubbed her head, and he patiently asked again, “What’s your name?”

He clearly saw her distinctive mouth, but there was no abnormality in his eyes—no disgust, no shock, not even sympathy.

In his eyes, she seemed no different from any other child before her.

But it was precisely this lack of difference that suddenly made her eyes sting. She opened her mouth, but the two words she usually practiced so well dropped the ball at this critical moment.

Both angry and anxious, her eyes quickly reddened in a circle.

The man froze slightly, looking somewhat helplessly at the woman who had been silently standing behind him, sending out a distress signal. The woman had been watching him all along, and upon receiving his gaze, she walked over to the adult and child pair.

Her expression wasn’t much more natural than the man’s, showing some forced composure. She crouched down, pulled out a bag of candy from her bag, stuffed it into the girl’s hands and said, “Don’t be afraid, we’re treating you to candy.”

The man leaned over to whisper in her ear, “Elder Sister, does your trick work?”

“Doesn’t it say all children like candy?” She glanced sideways at the man. “A certain child is the best example—he was still bringing candy to set when he was twenty years old.”

The man was speechless and helplessly reached out to lightly pinch the woman’s waist.

Xiao Han held the candy the woman had given her, her eyes no longer red. But it wasn’t because of the candy’s effect—it was because the interaction between these two people in front of her left her a bit dazed.

They seemed to finally remember there was still a child present, awkwardly coughing in unison and turning their faces to say to the girl, “The candy is yours to keep.”

Just as the two were standing up to leave, she gathered her courage and said stutteringly but clearly, “Xiao, Han. My name is… Xiao Han!”

The man’s footsteps paused. He turned around and smiled, “Hello, Xiao Han. My name is Zhui Ye.”

He proudly pointed to the woman beside him, saying softly but with certainty:

“This is my beloved. Her name is Wu Man.”

—

Author’s Note:

The timeline is eight years after the main story.