“Shen Duruo.”

Lady Liang withdrew her hand, her gaze looking straight at me.

“He doesn’t know I came. Before nightfall, he told me to send you away. But I thought, with your big belly, where could you go? If someone discovered you, you couldn’t escape to the ends of the earth.”

Yes.

I had nowhere to go.

If he truly was going to burn his bridges, I only had one path—to be buried with him.

“If you give birth to the child, I’ll leave Suzhi with you. You can blend in among the servants. No one will know you once bore him a child.”

Lady Liang took a deep breath.

“You’re the only daughter of the Shen family. Your status in the Crown Prince’s residence is merely that of a female physician. No matter how this matter implicates others, it can’t implicate you. Taking ten thousand steps back, even if you are implicated, at least the child can live.”

I didn’t quite believe it. “Can he truly live?”

The depths of Lady Liang’s eyes were full of desperate courage. “As long as you dare to give birth, I can ensure he lives. I truly have a way.”

My blood froze. My mind couldn’t think.

For twenty-four years I had only lived in the world of medicine and herbs, completely ignorant of these people’s methods.

“Shen Duruo, do you understand him?”

Lady Liang suddenly laughed lightly.

“He’s truly just a child—very kind, very gentle, very affectionate. On our wedding day when he lifted my red veil, though his heart didn’t like me, his face was all smiles, not making things difficult for me at all.

He treats everyone well, only harsh to himself.

Don’t let his mild and indifferent manner fool you into thinking he doesn’t take anything to heart. In truth, every matter, every person weighs on his heart.

Shen Duruo, do you still remember Tang Zhiwei?

The day Tang Zhiwei entered the Jiaofang Bureau, for a full twelve hours, he shut himself in his study without drinking a drop of water or eating a grain of rice.

Last year’s illness on the ninth of the ninth month—do you know for whom he fell ill?

For Tang Zhiwei!

Tang Zhiwei finally left the Jiaofang Bureau and entered a nunnery. He couldn’t go see her himself, so he had me go look from afar.

After I looked, my heart ached so much I couldn’t help the tears.

And him?

Tang Zhiwei was his teacher’s only daughter, a girl he’d watched grow up. How much must he have suffered?

This matter weighed on his heart for a full eight years. Tell me, how could he not fall gravely ill?”

Lady Liang’s crystalline tears fell.

“Shen Duruo, why did I scheme against you? Because in all these years, you’re the only one who could make his eyes light up.

Shen Duruo, give birth to the child. This way you can survive, the child can survive, and it leaves him an heir.”

I asked, “What about you? What about the heir apparent?”

Lady Liang smiled through tears. “The heir apparent and I will accompany him. Someone has to accompany him!”

……

Year 31 of the Yuanfeng Era, Fourteenth Day of the Seventh Month, Morning.

Generally in childbirth, there is a natural time. Before the time arrives, one must absolutely not forcibly take labor-inducing or abortifacient medicines. If the situation is unavoidable, then take them.

One must absolutely not sit up early or let the midwife interfere recklessly.

All labor-inducing medicines must wait until the back pain is severe, the fetus has turned downward, and the water has broken before taking them.

The general method uses slippery substances to smooth blocked passages. Use fragrance to open orifices and expel blood. For qi stagnation, move the qi. If the amniotic fluid breaks first and the situation is dire, stabilize the blood. Stabilizing blood is like using a dam for a boat—most secure.

For inducing labor, only use Buddha’s Hand Powder—most secure and swift.

After bathing and changing clothes, I drank down a bowl of labor-inducing medicine. By the si hour, contractions began.

At first it was sporadic small pains, with contractions spaced half a cup of tea apart.

Two hours later, I bit down on cloth in my mouth, in agony, my whole body like it had been fished from water.

The midwife’s surname was Chen. She had delivered the heir apparent.

Having worked in this profession for decades, she was quite experienced, constantly instructing me at my ear on how to breathe, how to exert force.

I had seen many women give birth and knew it was very painful, but I never imagined it would hurt like this.

Blood vessels bursting inside the body.

Countless sharp knives and daggers stabbing in simultaneously.

Bones being forcibly broken by someone.

The pain of grinding bones to ash was no more than this.

From the si hour, the pain continued until afternoon.

Then from afternoon until dusk.

From beginning to end, I gripped Lady Liang’s hand tightly, gripping it until it was covered in bloody marks.

This damned woman—if not for her, how would I suffer this pain?

When I could barely hold on any longer, Lady Liang said maliciously in my ear, “Shen Duruo, be careful—one corpse, two lives!”

I had no way back.

My half-life’s willfulness and freedom all evaporated, melted away, turned to ash in this boundless pain, yet the child still wouldn’t come out.

Lady Liang looked at the water clock, frantic with anxiety, her face seeming even paler than mine, the woman in labor.

Finally, she bit down hard.

“Shen Duruo, I must go see him off. Do you have any words you want me to bring him?”

Terror showed in my eyes.

Night had fallen. They were preparing to act.

I released Lady Liang’s hand, removed the cotton cloth from my mouth that I had bitten to shreds, and forced out word by word:

“Tell him he must reach the other shore. The other shore is his destination.”

“Good!”

Lady Liang wiped away tears, turned and hurriedly left.

I panted heavily several times and said to Suzhi, “Bring me my needle kit. Quickly!”

Suzhi brought the needle kit. I forced myself to half sit up, stuffed the cotton cloth back in my mouth, then pulled out five needles from the kit and inserted them into five acupoints on my body.

Overwhelming pain completely engulfed me.

I struggled, whimpered, and prayed to heaven and earth and the spirits.

Praying they would let me live, let my child live, and also him…

At this moment, he must have removed that old robe he usually wore, changed into armor, and taken up sword and blade.

He stood in the night light.

His gaze still calm and composed, his expression as always indifferent and serene.

Those young men who followed him—he would look at each face. They were all in his heart.

His final gaze would fall on Lady Liang running toward him.

Lady Liang looked at him from afar, tears glistening.

This was the only man who existed in her eyes.

The meaning of her life was to become his woman, to stand beside him, watching sunrise and sunset, watching mountains and seas…

Their eyes met.

Their twenty-some years of mutual dependence were all in this one gaze.

He gently nodded toward Lady Liang.

Lady Liang showed a reserved, dignified, amiable smile.

This was his favorite smile.

The only difference was, this wasn’t Lady Liang’s expression.

This was her smile.

She smiled as she came to bid farewell to her husband—a kind, gentle, affectionate man like a child.

“Female physician, push! I can see the child’s head! Push! Quickly, push!”

My eyes bulged wide, veins protruding, my face more terrifying than a fierce ghost.

All my body’s strength concentrated in that one place below. Blood from all four channels and eight meridians also surged downward.

Following a severe pain, I felt something slip out from below.

At the same time, my tears also gushed forth.

Through tearful eyes, I seemed to see him mount his horse, his gaze deeply, deeply taking one last look at the Crown Prince’s residence.

This was his home.

When everything ended, he should return home.

At home was a newborn premature infant. Her body still carried blood and filth. She had yet to cry.

She waited for him to come home and hear her first crisp cry, see her grow her first baby tooth.

And also.

Hear her call him once: Father!