In the evening Feng Yiqun had to go out on business. There couldn’t be no one at home, so she could only contact Sun Jingcheng asking him to come help watch Grandma for a while.

Grandma’s health was deteriorating day by day. Now she could no longer speak and could only eat liquid food. When she saw Sun Jingcheng arrive, she seemed to recognize who he was and grinned at him.

Sun Jingcheng sat down by her bedside, held her hand and chatted, talking about Zhou Yu going to Beijing to enjoy the autumn scenery. He also tattled, saying this semester she became a homeroom teacher and was quite something—occasionally when she spoke to him it was just like educating students. To put it nicely it was educating students, to put it bluntly it was making trouble for nothing. But she could be flexible—always after finding fault with you, she’d cook something delicious, then go on and on calling him husband. He said two days ago she made trouble, asking why the flowers at home didn’t bloom? Why weren’t the fallen leaves golden yellow? Why weren’t they red?

“Grandma, don’t you think she’s just making trouble for nothing?”

Grandma didn’t listen, falling peacefully asleep amid his fake complaints.

Sun Jingcheng gently stood up, preparing to go to the bathroom, but accidentally kicked over a large basin of water at the foot of the bed. He quickly glanced at Grandma, saw she hadn’t been startled awake, and immediately went to get a mop. The water quickly flowed everywhere. Under one of the beds were all cardboard boxes, and seeing the box bottoms were all wet, he hurriedly moved them out box by box, taking out the items inside one by one.

None of it was anything valuable, mostly things from when Zhou Yu was in school—there were over ten diary notebooks alone. One small gift box had been knocked over, inside were used erasers, utility knives, 2B pencils, ballpoint pens… and also the Hero brand fountain pen that Sun Youping had bought him that he’d searched for a long time, as well as a pink letter.

Sun Jingcheng was shocked for a moment, because all these odds and ends of stationery were his. They were things that had mysteriously disappeared back when he came to Feng Yiqun for tutoring. He stared at that pink letter, stared at that stack of diaries, his heart battling for quite a while. He didn’t look, put these things back in the box exactly as they were, grabbed the mop and quickly mopped under the bed dry, then put the boxes back one by one.

After dark Feng Yiqun came back. Sun Jingcheng said he’d accidentally kicked over the water, and seeing there were boxes under the other bed, he hadn’t dared to move them carelessly. Feng Yiqun looked at the slightly damp box bottoms, saying no need to worry, let Zhou Yu clean them up herself when she came back—her things couldn’t be touched. She also rarely joked, lightly cursing that she was no good.

All the way to the new district Sun Jingcheng kept thinking, when he was looking for Feng Yiqun for tutoring for the college entrance exam he was only eighteen years old, and Zhou Yu at that time was only thirteen. Thirteen years old… He tried hard to think, tried hard to think, but she remained only a blurry outline, like a shadow following behind Feng Yiqun. He couldn’t say why, but he actually felt Zhou Yu must have been a lonely child back then.

Thinking of this he felt particularly uncomfortable, uncomfortable as if his heart was being wrung. He sat quietly on the edge of the bed and sent her a WeChat, asking if she’d arrived at the hotel yet.

Zhou Yu replied: [Just arrived, about to go down for dinner.]

Sun Jingcheng instructed her: [Lock the door at night, understand?]

Zhou Yu replied: [You’ve said it several times already.]

Sun Jingcheng replied: [Have fun these few days, I won’t bother you. Call me if anything comes up, understand?]

Zhou Yu found it amusing, replying to him: [I’m not a child, always “understand” this “understand” that…]

Sun Jingcheng replied: [Oh, then go eat.]

After a while Zhou Yu asked: [Miss me?]

Sun Jingcheng replied: [I miss you.]

Zhou Yu replied: [Me too.]

Sun Jingcheng suddenly laughed out loud. Those indescribable emotions dissipated, and he replied to her: [We’ll chat when you’re back, have fun.]

Zhou Yu replied: [Okay.]

After chatting Sun Jingcheng sat for another while, then took out his phone to book an on-site painting service, wanting to repaint the bedroom walls in the warm colors of their wedding room. Yesterday Zhou Yu mentioned that everything here was good, just the bedroom color wasn’t as nice as the wedding room.

He came out to the living room and wandered around in circles, from living room to balcony, balcony to kitchen. He simply rolled up his sleeves, put on gloves and cleaned the range hood, then took the floor mats from the entrance and bathroom door and squatted in the shower to scrub them with a brush.

After finishing everything, he didn’t seek credit from Zhou Yu, just washed up and went to sleep peacefully.

*

Grandma passed away a few days after Zhou Yu returned. Quietly—that morning when Feng Yiqun called to her and got no response, understanding what had happened, she first called Zhou Yu and Sun Jingcheng, then sat on a stool for a long while before beginning to arrange the funeral.

Zhou Yu didn’t feel particularly sad. For Grandma in this condition, passing peacefully was also a kind of release. From when she could only eat liquid food, she’d been mentally preparing bit by bit. The mother and daughter were quite calm—at the funeral they cried when they should cry, stayed silent when they should be silent. Mother Sun and Sun Youping brought sister-in-law and the others—they all came, not offering excessive comfort, only saying that birth, aging, illness and death all have their ordained time. That the old lady could pass peacefully was also a kind of blessing.

At night Sun Jingcheng accompanied them keeping vigil until the early morning before going back. During the day he was busy handling various certificates. When keeping vigil until the early morning, Feng Yiqun urged him several times, saying tomorrow there would be even more to do, telling him to go back and get some sleep first.

After Sun Jingcheng left, only mother and daughter remained. Just as dawn was about to break, Feng Yiqun suddenly said, “Daughter, I’m sorry.”

Zhou Yu looked at her, taking a long time to react before replying, “…It’s okay.”

“Your father… I didn’t mean to.” Feng Yiqun’s bloodless face looked at her. She absolutely didn’t mention anything else. Didn’t mention that day when her husband said they should separate, didn’t mention their argument, didn’t mention her husband’s attack, didn’t mention how she herself had been possessed by a demon at that time. By the time she came to her senses wanting to give him medicine, it was already too late.

And it was precisely this scene that Zhou Yu, coming out of her room, had witnessed. Perhaps heaven showed great mercy—from beginning to end Zhou Yu believed it was because Feng Yiqun argued with her father that caused his attack, never thinking more deeply about it. And it seemed as time passed, living day by day she also forgot the details of that day, slowly coming to believe that her husband’s departure was only because his attack wasn’t treated in time.

Enormous grief came rushing at her, leaving her completely defenseless. As if afraid to hear it, Zhou Yu’s large teardrops fell, “I’ve already forgiven and let go… I believe Grandma and Grandpa will also for…” As she spoke she began to hiccup.

Feng Yiqun, bearing enormous guilt, pulled her into her embrace, gently patting her back telling her to cry out loud. Because of her own pride and momentary impulse back then, besides nearly destroying her own daughter, she’d also buried her own entire life.

After the funeral Zhou Yu held Grandma’s urn and returned to the countryside, laying her to rest together with her husband and son. Half a month later, Feng Yiqun left a suicide note. After settling Grandma’s affairs, after her daughter had no more worries, she also departed peacefully. Zhou Yu did as she wished, scattering her ashes on the mountain like Grandma’s. Afterward when people gossiped and inquired, the Sun family didn’t say much to outsiders, only saying she passed from illness.

Feng Yiqun left behind three properties and a bankbook—money she’d been saving since her youth from tutoring students, accumulated until after retirement when she gradually acquired these properties.

One thing after another—it was also on the day of Feng Yiqun’s funeral that Zhou Yu realized she was pregnant. Later at the hospital examination, they said it had already been over two months, but the fetus wasn’t very stable. They suggested she relax and rest in bed for a few days.

*

It was December now, winter solstice in two more days. After breakfast this morning Mother Sun was slicing previously frozen lamb, slicing four pounds over two full hours. Planning to have a hot pot gathering at lunch with lamb.

The old saying goes: Nourish yourself in winter, hunt tigers in spring. In the cold winter, lamb hot pot was the most nourishing.

When she bought the meat earlier she had cut out the lamb hind leg, cut a large plate, planning to save it for Zhou Yu to eat. After all she was now carrying two lives, and the morning sickness was severe—first thing after getting up was vomiting.

On the other hand, within a month Grandma and Mom had passed away one after another—it would be unbearable for ordinary people. But this daughter-in-law forcefully endured it. She rested in bed at home for a few days, then afterward worked when she should work, lived when she should live, continuing life as usual. The fetus also gradually stabilized.

She was also extremely curious, everyone in the family was curious—the hard days were visibly over, finally settled, why would Feng Yiqun be unable to let go? But everyone tactfully didn’t inquire, didn’t gossip.

Lowering her head to cut meat made her neck uncomfortable. After cutting for a while, she’d raise her head to move her neck. Sister-in-law came back and saw, tied on an apron and took over the cutting. In the group chat the second brother @Mother Sun, saying the restaurant had a meat slicer, he could just slice a few pounds and bring them back later. Mother Sun wanted to scold him for not saying so earlier, but held back, saying how could machine-sliced compare to hand-cut? Otherwise why would hand-cut meat at restaurants be more expensive than machine-sliced? And the lamb she bought was good quality, not water-injected, from the northwest.

The second brother praised, saying indeed hand-sliced meat tasted better, just too tiring and time-consuming. And the meat she bought was authentic, more authentic than their restaurant’s lamb. After all the groundwork was laid, he replied gratefully: [Mom, you’ve worked hard!] A rose.

Then those two siblings echoed identically: [Mama, you’ve worked hard!] A rose.

Mother Sun felt comfortable in her heart, magnanimously replying: [Just two cuts and it’s sliced, not hard at all.]

Motherly kindness and filial children—a very harmonious and loving family.

This year was full of troubles—first eldest brother, then Zhou Yu’s grandma and her mom. Life’s impermanence inevitably made the living sigh while also cherishing the people and matters before them.

Whether sincere or perfunctory, Mother Sun no longer cared about any of it. As long as the family was healthy and harmonious, that was enough.

The so-called—harmony in the family brings success in everything.

Downstairs Sun Youping at this moment felt as if thousands of arrows pierced his heart. Several neighbors sat in the clinic, those seeing the doctor saw the doctor, those warming themselves by the stove warmed themselves. With many people came much chatter—first sighing about Feng Yiqun’s matter, then chatting about Sun Jingyue’s matter, saying his death was the most unworthy. If he’d died in the line of duty while arresting someone or sacrificed himself, at least he could have gotten the good reputation of being a martyr, right? Martyrs’ children get extra points on college entrance exams, right?

Though the voices were low, Sun Youping still heard. His lips trembled… his chin shaking wanting to speak, but what could he say? They were all a group of old men about to be laid to rest, what was there to argue about? In the end he said nothing.

At lunch everyone sat down in sequence to eat lamb hot pot. One plate of meat gone… another plate of meat gone. Those kids were like wolf cubs, each standing up to grab. Sun Jingcheng watched anxiously, preparing to pick up his chopsticks to serve Zhou Yu, when Ke Yu spoke first, stopping his younger brothers to let little aunt eat first, she was carrying a baby now.

The younger brothers put down their chopsticks and sat down. Sun Youping taught them, saying at the dining table you must have manners at all times, otherwise going out you’ll be laughed at by others. The kids obediently listened without making a sound.

Mother Sun poured a plate of lamb hind leg into the pot, saying to Sun Jingcheng: “This plate has lean and fat marbled together, when it’s cooked serve it to your wife.”

Sun Jingcheng held Zhou Yu’s hand under the table, served her a full bowl of meat, then successively added beef tripe, lotus root and fried tofu skin that she loved to eat. Seeing there was no lettuce on the table, he asked Mother Sun, “Mom, didn’t you buy lettuce?”

“Oh… forgot, it’s still unwashed in the fridge.” Mother Sun put down her chopsticks and was about to go wash it.

“Mom you eat, I’ll do it.” Sun Jingcheng went to the fridge first, took out two large heads of lettuce to wash. After washing he picked a few tender leaves, wrapped cooked lamb inside, and naturally handed it to Zhou Yu to eat.

Normally, second sister-in-law and Sun Jingfei would have teased them by now, but this time no one made a sound. Sun Jingfei thought of when she and Ke Yong were passionately in love, he also wrapped them like this for her to eat. Second sister-in-law sighed at Sun Jingcheng’s transformation—he used to be the most unreliable. Thinking this she glanced at the second brother, thinking of how things had changed and people too… but the second brother this time seemed to see through her, gave her several peeled sweet garlic cloves, scooped two chopsticks of meat for her, and said meaningfully: “Eat.”

Second sister-in-law was both annoyed and amused. She reached out and patted his thigh, but was caught by his hand instead. She smiled—what else could she say? Eat.

Sun Jingfei shook off those unpleasant feelings, stood up and chased away the kids’ chopsticks from scooping meat. First she fiercely served a big helping of meat to Ke Yu, then served a big helping to sister-in-law, finally put a big helping in her own bowl, saying magnificently: “Eat! An unhappy life is immoral!”

As the words fell she got a slap on the shoulder from Mother Sun, saying her chopsticks were vicious—three servings and she scooped the pot clean of meat.

Sun Jingfei laughed heartily, not caring about them at all—eating what’s in your mouth is real skill!

Those three kids stood there pitifully, scooping a chopstick of air, scooping another chopstick of air.

The meat on the plate was gone. Sister-in-law was about to go cut more, but Sun Youping spoke up, telling whoever ate the most to go cut. Sun Jingfei played dumb, saying the one who ate most was clearly Zhou Yu—Sun Jingcheng had scooped seven chopsticks for her, she’d been counting.

Sun Youping said: “Stop dawdling, go cut quickly.”

Sun Jingfei picked up the plate and stood up, smiling as she replied to him, “Dad you’re just biased, always ordering me around!” After speaking she even brought up the matter of secretly buying him cigarettes when she was little.

Sun Youping rarely smiled, too lazy to bother with her.