HomeSki into LoveHe’s in My Heart, Killing Me (Part 11)

He’s in My Heart, Killing Me (Part 11)

Dai Duo escorted Shan Shan to her classroom door, pushing her wheelchair into the room. Under everyone’s watchful eyes, he positioned her carefully at her desk. Leaning on the wheelchair’s armrest, he bent down, bringing his ear close to her lips. Then, his strikingly beautiful profile tilted slightly, his eyes lifting at the corners as he asked, “What are you studying this morning?”

As he spoke, he made a gesture to reach into her drawer and take out her books for her.

… She had injured her leg, not become quadriplegic.

At that moment, not only did Shan Shan’s breath catch, but the previously bustling classroom fell silent as well.

It’s not accurate to say the silence began at that exact second. It likely started the moment Dai Duo pushed her into the room.

They were like the sun in the universe. All the sunflowers turned towards them, faces twisting, freely blooming with shock.

Shan Shan thought for a moment, then blinked and said, “You can go now.”

Dai Duo: “?”

Shan Shan: “If you open your eyes, you’ll notice everyone’s staring at us, and I feel—”

His skin was so clear, though he had a few pimples. His pores were as fine as if he’d applied foundation. In the spring sunlight, a light fuzz was visible on his skin, purely natural. His profile, viewed up close, was breathtaking.

Her mind skipped a beat. After a moment of blank thought, she said, “Embarrassed.”

Dai Duo responded, moving his face slightly away from her. He glanced at her innocent deskmate beside her.

Shao Xing: “… English.”

She reached into Shan Shan’s desk, pulled out the English textbook, and dropped it on the desk with a “thud.” The sudden noise made her ten fingers twitch helplessly in the air, though her face remained calm as she stared at Dai Duo.

Dai Duo: “I opened my eyes.”

Dai Duo: “I noticed if people around us were looking.”

Dai Duo: “I only noticed you’re an ungrateful wretch.”

Shan Shan: “…”

Dai Duo straightened up and left.

That day, the usual morning routine of “Have you eaten breakfast? Show me a photo” disappeared, as if someone from the classroom upstairs had vanished from this world…

Of course, one could think further. Perhaps after he went upstairs, he found a group of seniors waiting to fight him. Then he fought, broke his hand, and had no way to type messages.

🙂

Throughout the morning reading and the first class, for a full hour and a quarter, Shan Shan was somewhat distracted, earnestly wondering why this person was acting so strangely—

She hadn’t said anything particularly offensive.

Was this worth getting so angry about?

Or had she unknowingly done something else to provoke him?

Damn.

What zodiac sign was this guy, to be so good at giving the cold shoulder?

Whatever sign it was, it wasn’t worth dating!

Her thoughts wandered, fortunately during Chinese class where occasional daydreaming wasn’t a big deal.

After the first class ended, in the bright sunlight, students from the whole school crowded noisily onto the playground, preparing for radio calisthenics.

Given that a certain someone had been out of contact for seventy-five minutes, Shan Shan also wheeled herself out of the classroom. Her wheelchair stayed near the corridor as the familiar melody of the “Athlete’s March” began. She watched countless tall students coming down from the upper floors…

She saw the person she wanted to see.

Shao Xing, on her period, had asked for leave and was originally staying in the classroom. Seeing Shan Shan in her thin school uniform peering around in the corridor, she followed her out and looked down at her.

Shan Shan squinted slightly, searching for the tall figures in the crowd.

“Are you dating Dai Duo?” Her friend’s voice came from above.

“No,” she replied as a warm thermos was placed in her previously frozen hands. “Do we look like we have that kind of atmosphere?”

She wanted to hear a “yes.”

But thinking about Shao Xing’s long silence, after a while, she said, “Oh, indeed. So you’re just one-sidedly in love with him?”

Her tone sounded casual—

To be precise, it almost didn’t sound like she was talking to Shan Shan at all.

Shan Shan looked up at her, a bit confused. Her clear black and white eyes plainly showed her question: Indeed? Indeed what?

Shao Xing finally slowly pulled her gaze from the playground and looked at the girl holding the thermos and looking up at her. She showed a sympathetic expression: “I’m not trying to discourage you, but regardless of what atmosphere you two have, Dai Duo seems to like someone else.”

Shan Shan: “?”

Shao Xing tilted her chin, pointing in a certain direction.

Shan Shan turned her head, following her gaze, and finally saw the person she had been looking for—

Wearing a white hoodie with the school uniform jacket over it, he stood casually at the back of a senior class line, hands in his pockets.

Other tall boys from the same grade stood around him, chatting in groups of three.

He was talking with others.

But just standing there, he was particularly eye-catching.

At this moment, the strikingly handsome youth was turning his head, looking very intently in a certain direction.

Shan Shan’s gaze couldn’t help but follow his line of sight, and she unexpectedly saw something she shouldn’t have, her heart sinking as she gradually locked onto the target of his gaze.

At the end of his gaze stood Tang Yisheng, a first-year student.

The same one who had stood in the corridor last time, hands on her hips, loudly scolding Dai Duo for his lack of manners.

She stood there, already changed into the spring uniform skirt and leather shoes, a proper JK girl…

Probably still cold, she had also put on a down jacket typical of Northeast China in winter, covering her from head to toe. It wasn’t clear if she was cold or not.

This image had quite a gap effect.

Dai Duo was looking at her very intently, tilting his head, just like when he had pushed Shan Shan into the classroom that morning—

Completely unrestrained.

He didn’t seem to care if anyone noticed his behavior.

“Dai Duo is looking at Tang Yisheng, eh? Could it be that after she scolded him last time, he found this girl interesting and started paying attention to her?” Shao Xing chattered, clearly not yet realizing how serious Shan Shan’s “liking Dai Duo” was. Her tone was casual, “Even Taiwanese idol dramas after 2010 wouldn’t dare to use this plot.”

Shan Shan raised her hand and scratched her head.

She was so flustered that she didn’t know how to react—

Her mind went blank.

Shao Xing pulled back her gossiping gaze, shaking her head and clicking her tongue as she looked at Shan Shan. Then the tongue-clicking stopped, and she stared at Shan Shan, her expression changing from full of sighs to blank.

“Damn, you do like him?”

“Who said that?” “I did. I used to think that stuff about the light in someone’s eyes suddenly going out when looking at the person they like was nonsense until I saw you three seconds ago.”

“…”

Shan Shan slowly lowered her head. “It is nonsense,” she said seriously, “and I do like him a lot.”

The entire morning she listlessly lay at her desk, getting through a Chinese class, preparing to get through an English class, and finally a biology class. Flipping through the book, the content the teacher was going to cover didn’t sound particularly interesting.

From the second class onwards, Shan Shan felt somewhat drowsy.

“What are you looking at out the window?” “Daydreaming.”

“What’s there to see in the bare tree branches?” “You don’t understand,” the girl resting her chin on her hand said flatly. “That’s my lost youth. I’m young but aged, afraid it will no longer beat for mountains, rivers, lakes, seas, and the four seasons.”

“… You’re sick. Do you know you’re talking nonsense?”

“It’s fine.”

She put her phone in the deepest part of her desk drawer, but still couldn’t help taking it out to check every ten minutes—

She stared at the calm phone screen wallpaper.

Cursed under her breath.

Shoved it back into the drawer.

During the fourth-period English class, to avoid appearing too foolish, she simply rested her head behind her book and slept through the lesson. The bell startled her awake, and she reflexively reached for her phone—

For the first time, she truly believed there should be some change on the screen.

Of course, there wasn’t.

The accumulated disappointment became 4.5 times more intense than the disappointment she felt every ten minutes…

It was truly self-destructive behavior.

“Shan Shan, what are you eating for lunch?”

“I don’t know, should I go home?”

“How will you get back?”

“Take a taxi, I guess.”

A listless exchange.

While glancing at Shao Xing who asked the question, she bit her lower lip and opened WeChat. She confirmed it wasn’t a phone notification issue but that there were no new messages. Her finger hovered over the familiar avatar, skipping past “Dad,” “Mom,” and “Brother,” hesitating.

After enough hesitation, she tapped it.

As her finger wavered over whether to place the cursor in the chat box, she saw “typing…” next to his nickname.

She blinked, holding her breath.

[Only knows how to bark: Where are you eating lunch?]

Shan Shan: “…”

Shan Shan put down her phone and turned to Shao Xing: “Do you want to eat stone pot bibimbap for lunch? I suddenly don’t want to go home. There’s a new place that opened at the corner of the school’s commercial street. The first serving is half-price. I heard it’s good, and I’ve been wanting to try it. I also want to eat stir-fried rice cakes.”

Shao Xing: “…”

Shao Xing: “Huh?”

Shao Xing: “What happened?”

Shan Shan: “What do you mean, what happened?”

Shao Xing: “You’re alive again?”

Shan Shan: “…”

She looked down at the timestamp of the message from a certain someone. 12:44, current time 12:46, just two minutes had passed. Alright then.

She typed.

[Accumulating virtue: I’m going to eat Korean food at the new place by the school gate with a friend.]

[Only knows how to bark: Want me to take you there?]

[Accumulating virtue: Are you eating too?]

[Only knows how to bark: I don’t eat that stuff. It’s too sweet, even pigs wouldn’t eat it.]

She snorted softly.

[Accumulating virtue: Impressive.]

She put down her phone.

Shao Xing looked her up and down: “Well, you’re alive now.”

When Dai Duo pushed Shan Shan out of the school gate, neither of them mentioned what had happened that morning.

They talked normally and chatted normally, and neither brought up why WeChat had been silent all morning.

Just as they were about to exit the school gate, they saw Tang Yisheng in the distance. Dai Duo called out to her, and the girl turned back, surprised and delighted.

Shan Shan thought this was an absurd plot twist.

People around them turned to look as their school’s most handsome boy approached their grade’s beauty. They had the same surprised looks as when Dai Duo had pushed Shan Shan into school that morning. Everyone seemed to find it quite natural—

That atmosphere of tacit approval made her blood boil.

In the first second Dai Duo walked over to talk to Tang Yisheng, Shan Shan, who was originally about a meter away from them, hesitated. Then she operated her wheelchair herself, moving another five meters away before stopping.

She glanced up at the conversing pair not far away, then quickly lowered her head, fingers unconsciously fiddling with her phone.

After a while, the two had moved closer, maybe exchanging WeChat contacts or something—

Shan Shan couldn’t bear to keep watching. Fortunately, Shao Xing arrived. Not knowing what had happened, she had come downstairs after packing her bag to see Dai Duo talking with Tang Yisheng, while her dear and usually talkative friend was acting like an idiot, head down, swiping her phone nearby.

“…” Shao Xing approached, expressionless, and stood in front of her. “Are we eating?”

Shan Shan looked up and said, “Yes.”

Then she left.

As she left, she looked back. He raised his head, engrossed in fiddling with phones with Tang Yisheng.

After passing three shops, he still hadn’t come.

After passing five shops, they disappeared into the crowd.

After walking down a street, she took out her phone and looked. The phone was silent as a mouse, with no inquiries like “Where did you go?” or “Why did you leave?” There were no questions at all.

When she pushed open the door of the new, bustling Korean restaurant and entered the dining room, faced with chattering classmates and office workers around her, Shan Shan felt a bit dazed—

If having a crush on someone meant this constant anxiety, dying and reviving every day, she sincerely hoped she wouldn’t like him anymore.

How many disappointments can a person experience in a lifetime?

Perhaps most of them were used up on her pathetic, unfinished first love?

“Shao Xing.”

“Hm?”

“I’m over Dai Duo.”

Shao Xing rolled her eyes.

“Whatever, you’ll be head over heels again in a bit.”

Shan Shan earnestly waited for her stone pot bibimbap. When the rice and steaming soft tofu soup were served, her peripheral vision, which had been watching the door, saw it open for the nth time as Dai Duo walked in.

When he sat down across from her, she realized that half of her resentment had already dissipated.

… Well, Shao Xing was indeed a great prophet.

Dai Duo sat down and started playing with his phone without saying a word. Shan Shan couldn’t hold back: “You chatted for so long, I left and you didn’t even notice.”

Any normal guy would have detected the thick jealousy in the air.

She regretted saying it as soon as it came out—

But she just couldn’t control herself.

Unfortunately, the person across from her wasn’t a normal guy. He just lifted his eyelids slightly: “Ah, didn’t you say you were having Korean food for lunch? Where else would you go? I just came to find you, that’s all.”

Shan Shan: “…”

His tone was far too matter-of-fact.

It caused the remaining half of her anger to diminish by half again.

Because of his frankness.

Damn.

She lowered her head to eat, wondering if she had developed Stockholm syndrome.

At this moment, a phone was pushed towards her—

She looked up, confused, to find a Taobao page on the screen.

“That girl,” Dai Duo seemed to seriously try to remember her name, then as if he’d recalled it, slowly “ah-ed” and continued, “Well, that one. I saw her down jacket looked nice, so I asked for the link. Want to get one for you?”

Shan Shan held her soup spoon, looking at the Taobao page on the phone screen in front of her—

A four-digit priced down jacket, the kind that could cover a person from head to toe.

She looked up, peering at the young man holding the phone from above the edge of the screen.

“Down jackets are for wearing, not for covering legs,” Dai Duo said. “Want me to buy it for you?”

“…” “You have to take it even if you don’t want it,” he added, “because I’ve already bought it—ah, the seller has already shipped it, pretty fast.”

“…”

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