Xinlin Alley was not as chaotic as everyone had imagined.
In the outer courtyard, aside from the male servants on duty at the main gate, everyone else had disappeared without a trace. In the inner courtyard, the maids and elderly servants on duty were all hiding in corners. Inside the study of the inner courtyard, Cheng Xu and Yuan Shi stood facing each other in confrontation—one with a face full of coldness, the other with eyes gleaming with a chilling light, like dark clouds pressing down overhead. The atmosphere was extremely oppressive.
Outside the courtyard, wind blew past. The white magnolia planted by the doorway rustled in response, its crystalline and translucent flowers swaying in the wind, full of spring vitality.
With a “smack,” Yuan Shi threw down the disciplinary ruler in her hand, tears rolling down her face: “What sins have I committed! I carried you in my womb for ten months and gave birth to you, raised you with such hardship and care. After all the effort of having you achieve top county examination scores and provincial examination success all the way through, just when we reached the most critical step, you returned to me with only a jinshi degree. Aren’t you trying to kill me? But you’re my son—what can I do? Fine, I endured it. Instead of staying home properly to study and earn a Hanlin Academy position, you actually tell me you won’t participate in the Hanlin Academy selection? How can you face me? How can you face the Cheng family’s investment in you? How can you face your grandmother’s expectations? How can you face your father’s hopes? Even if I raised a cat or dog, at least it would know to meow or bark by my bedside when I’m not feeling well! And you? All these years, besides fighting with me and making me angry, what else have you done? If I had known it would come to this, why would I have sought doctors or asked about medicines? I might as well have strangled you to death from the beginning! At least that would have spared me the humiliation and shame of today, making me unable to show my face!”
Cheng Xu said nothing. He slowly knelt before Yuan Shi and said in a low voice: “Mother, I have wronged you and brought dishonor to your name. Just consider that you never gave birth to this son! I’ve already been to see Vice Minister Wang at the Ministry of Personnel. He agreed that after the Hanlin Academy examination is over, he’ll help me arrange for an external posting…”
“Shut your mouth!” Yuan Shi looked around frantically and picked up the ruler, but ultimately still hoping Cheng Xu would change his mind, she didn’t strike him indiscriminately as she had earlier. “Are you trying to drive me to my death?”
But Cheng Xu, as if he hadn’t seen anything, kept his eyes lowered and continued on his own: “Mother is still in good health, and Father is also at the height of his official career. Second Sister will be in the capital these next few years accompanying Second Brother-in-law while he studies. After I take the external posting, Mother and Father will have someone to care for them. In a few years, when I’m older and you and Father are elderly, I’ll bring you both to join me and fulfill my filial duties…”
Yuan Shi jumped up.
Neither hard nor soft approaches were working!
What exactly was he trying to do?
“You unfilial son! If you don’t take the Hanlin Academy examination, I’ll report you for defying your parents!” Yuan Shi said in desperate fury, her words becoming careless.
Hearing this, a trace of desolation flashed in Cheng Xu’s eyes. He said in a low voice: “Mother, you’ve always been like this. Ever since I was small, whenever I didn’t listen to you, you would either threaten to tell Father and have him discipline me, or you’d coax me by buying me the writing supplies I wanted, or even kites and board games. Have you never thought about properly listening to what I want to do? Or instead of threatening or coaxing me, just having a proper conversation with me?”
Yuan Shi stared at Cheng Xu in shock.
Cheng Xu’s voice dropped even lower as he said: “You were like this when you wanted me to study. You were like this when you wanted me to achieve top scores in the county and provincial examinations. Even when it came to marriage… you were the same… You’re my mother—what son doesn’t listen to his mother? Couldn’t you just talk to me properly instead of always threatening violence?”
Yuan Shi looked at Cheng Xu in astonishment, as if seeing him for the first time, and murmured: “You’re blaming me! You didn’t achieve the top palace examination score, and you’re blaming me…”
“Mother!” Cheng Xu said helplessly, “I’m not blaming you! Not achieving the top score is my own failing—what does it have to do with you? How could I blame you? I just don’t want you to always use this or that as an excuse. At the end of the day, you simply want me to achieve triple first place honors to bring you glory. There’s nothing wrong with that—it’s an honor for a son to bring glory to his mother…”
Yuan Shi couldn’t listen at all and cried out: “If you’re not blaming me, why won’t you take the Hanlin Academy examination?” At this point, she grasped Cheng Xu’s hand and pleaded humbly: “Jiaxi, just listen to your mother this one time, won’t you? As long as you pass the Hanlin examination, Mother will never interfere in your affairs again. I promise…”
Cheng Xu painfully closed his eyes.
If he agreed this time, there would be a next time.
She always said this.
In reality, as long as he failed to fulfill his mother’s wishes, he would never have peace.
Only this time, his mother had actually struck him.
Was it because she knew that words no longer had any effect on him?
Was it as Fourth Uncle said—that having achieved the jinshi degree, there were many things he could do?
He didn’t want to stay in the capital anymore.
Constantly seeing Zhou Shaojin’s bright smile radiating with happiness.
The cautious, guarded wariness she showed when with him was like looking at two different people.
It deeply pierced his heart.
Made him feel that even the air in the capital was oppressive.
He wanted to leave this place and never think about love and hate again.
To be a proper man and serve as a magistrate in some region, bringing welfare to the local people.
Perhaps then he could slowly release all the pain in his heart.
And gradually find peace.
“Mother!” Cheng Xu interrupted, “Please say no more. My mind is made up. I won’t participate in the Hanlin Academy selection and will take an external official posting. Just listen to me this once…”
“Jiashan, Jiashan!” Yuan Shi desperately pleaded with Cheng Xu, “You can’t do this! Don’t you know that if you don’t pass the Hanlin examination, you can’t enter the Hanlin Academy or observe governance in the Six Ministries? No matter how capable you are, no matter how talented, you’ll never be able to become a Grand Secretary. Just like your Fourth Uncle—such a shrewd and capable person, yet in the end he could only work at the Censorate, finally reaching the position of Left or Right Vice Censor-in-Chief at senior second rank and that’s as far as he could go. You mustn’t make the same foolish mistake he did!”
What would be so bad about that?
Cheng Xu thought silently to himself.
Having a gentle and loving wife, a clever and bright son—what could be better in this world?
Cheng Xu remained unmoved.
Seeing his indifferent expression, Yuan Shi couldn’t help but fly into a rage: “What do you mean by this?”
Cheng Xu begged her: “I’m already grown up. Please stop interfering in my affairs!”
“Are you saying I’m interfering too much?” Yuan Shi’s eyes widened as she looked at her son with an expression both sorrowful and shocked. “But without me, would you be where you are today? As soon as you could speak, I started teaching you to recognize characters. As soon as you could hold chopsticks, I taught you to write. When you took the prefectural examination, I waited outside the gate for you to come out. When you took the provincial examination, I went all the way to the capital to get you model essays. But you! Because of one Zhou Shaojin, you gave me attitude, sulked, and distanced yourself from me. And the result? Not only did you ruin your chance at triple first place honors, but now you want an external posting? Did you get kicked in the head by a donkey? No—are you still thinking about that Zhou Shaojin…”
“Mother! Have you made enough of a scene!” Cheng Xu’s face showed slight anger. “If you want to criticize me, criticize me—why bring up others? Everyone is living their own lives peacefully. What’s the point of saying such things? Do you think this family isn’t chaotic enough already?”
His words infuriated Yuan Shi.
“Fine! I knew it. You’re still thinking about her!” The anger she had suppressed in her heart ever since Zhou Shaojin married Cheng Chi erupted like a volcano. She said bitterly: “No wonder you won’t listen to me! No wonder you resent me! It’s all because of her! Since we mother and son are laying everything out today, I might as well tell you the truth—from beginning to end, I never planned to let Zhou Shaojin become my daughter-in-law. When I agreed that if you did well in the provincial examination I would help you marry Zhou Shaojin, that was just to keep you focused on the exam. That girl who brought misfortune to her father and mother—she could never dream of becoming my daughter-in-law…”
Cheng Xu thought of how as a child, when he fell, his mother would tenderly hold him in her arms and comfort him. He thought of his mother sitting gracefully beside him watching him practice calligraphy. He thought of waking in the middle of the night to see his mother grading his assignments by lamplight… He painfully clutched his chest.
Back then, it wasn’t that he hadn’t suspected, hadn’t thought about confronting his mother. But as Grandmother had said, with things having reached that point, if he had made more trouble, it would only have caused a rift between the Cheng and Min families and made things difficult for Zhou Shaojin. Besides, truthfully speaking, it was all his fault. If he hadn’t been so presumptuous, if he hadn’t lacked courage, why would he and Zhou Shaojin be like fire and water?
But he hadn’t expected that when his mother said these things, he would still feel as if his heart were being carved out with a knife.
“Mother, please stop!” Cheng Chi said, his face pale. “Are you trying to destroy the Cheng family’s reputation? Are you trying to drive me to death? Are you trying to get the censors to impeach Father? Do you think you’ll only be satisfied when this matter is being gossiped about all over the streets?”
Yuan Shi wanted to speak but stopped herself.
Min Jia, her expression full of fear, turned and pulled her wet nurse away, hurrying out of the main courtyard. She only stopped under the pomegranate tree behind the house, where her legs gave way and she sat down on the stone bench beneath the tree.
So… Yuan Shi had deceived Cheng Xu—on one hand saying that as long as Cheng Xu passed the provincial examination she would help him seek Zhou Shaojin’s hand in marriage, while on the other hand secretly sending people to the Min family in Fujian to arrange a marriage!
Her face instantly flushed bright red, whether more from shame or anger she couldn’t tell.
How shameless!
Not only had she harmed her, but also Zhou Shaojin and Cheng Xu!
If it weren’t for the fact that none of Yuan Shi’s attendants dared approach her and had asked Min Jia to see if she could help mediate, she probably would never have known what had happened in her entire life!
How did she end up with such a mother-in-law?
Min Jia’s heart was in turmoil. After a long while, she finally calmed down. Once calm, she repeatedly and earnestly instructed her wet nurse: “You absolutely cannot let slip even half a word about this, otherwise the Cheng family will be ruined, the Master will be ruined, and we’ll be ruined along with them!”
A nephew and aunt having an… ambiguous relationship… no family could bear such a scandal!
Her wet nurse also looked deeply shaken and quickly swore: “If I reveal even a single sound of this, may I be struck by five thunderbolts from heaven, may my entire family die horrible deaths!”
Only then did Min Jia’s heart settle.
She suddenly felt some sympathy for Cheng Xu.
Having such a mother, even the best prospects would be ruined!
At first she had been annoyed that Cheng Xu was being unreasonable, so when the maids and servants came to fetch her, she had actually prepared to go and mediate. Now it seemed that an external posting was actually good—at least he’d avoid being destroyed by this unreliable mother of his.