On the tenth day of the fourth month in the twenty-first year of Zhengyuan, Emperor Zhengyuan passed away in Qinghe Hall. Because the ruler and father had left no final edict while living, the two Chief Ministers of the Eastern and Western Palaces had Secretariat Drafter Pei Zhiyuan compose a posthumous decree. It was read before the coffin. Heir Apparent Zhao Yi ascended to the emperor’s throne, changed the reign name to Xiyou, and presided over the late emperor’s funeral rites.
The coffin was placed on the western steps of the hall. Imperial clan members and civil and military officials in the capital all wore plain clothing, entering the hall to wail every seven days, for a total of forty-nine days.
“Did you go request someone from the Imperial Medical Bureau?”
On a stormy night, a young palace maid anxiously asked a eunuch outside the hall.
“Yes, they should arrive soon!”
The eunuch wiped rainwater from his face. As the two were talking, they saw in the rain curtain a continuous stretch of lamplight drawing closer. The several people focused their eyes—surrounded by a group of people came Rong Sheng, the Superintendent of the Palace Attendants Bureau.
“Superintendent Rong.”
The two hurriedly bowed in respect.
Rong Sheng unhurriedly ascended the steps. Hearing inside the woman’s wave after wave of painful cries, he inquired, “The midwives are all inside. Why still request a medical officer?”
“The Consort is having difficult labor, fearing danger to her life…”
The palace maid answered carefully.
“Difficult labor.”
Rong Sheng nodded. “That is somewhat troublesome. Did you go request someone from the Imperial Medical Bureau?”
“We already went. This matter—we servants have also reported to Her Majesty the Empress.” The palace maid answered truthfully.
The Empress she spoke of was the previously deposed Princess Consort Jia, Li Xizhen.
When the late emperor died, the new ruler used the funeral rites as reason and, overruling all objections, established Commoner Li as Empress to lead the court ladies in wailing for the late emperor.
Rong Sheng made a sound of acknowledgment. “This servant came precisely on Her Majesty the Empress’s orders. The wet nurses are all waiting in the side hall?”
“Yes.”
The palace maid responded.
Rong Sheng nodded. Just as he was about to ask something more, he heard the sharp woman’s voice inside the hall suddenly cease. He lifted his head at once. The vermillion hall doors opened. A midwife’s face was deathly pale, forehead covered in sweat.
“What’s this about?”
Rong Sheng frowned and immediately asked, “Has the Dowager Consort given birth?”
“She has.”
The midwife’s lips trembled. “But, but…”
“But what!”
Rong Sheng spoke severely.
“She gave birth, but it was a stillborn child!”
The midwife immediately bent low.
“What?”
Rong Sheng’s eyes flew wide open.
News that Dowager Consort Wu had delivered a stillborn child reached Qinghe Hall. The new emperor Zhao Yi was at his desk reviewing memorials. Hearing this, he lifted his head at once. “Truly?”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Rong Sheng was completely soaked by rainwater.
“You go down and change your clothes.”
Zhao Yi waved his hand. “Liang Shenfu, you all go down as well.”
Liang Shenfu immediately responded, then led his adoptive grandson Rong Sheng and the palace maids and eunuchs out.
Only the emperor and empress remained in the hall. Zhao Yi rose and lifted the curtain. The Empress hadn’t removed her plain clothing. She sat on the soft couch, a weary expression on her face. “Your Majesty, why don’t you speak?”
“Xizhen…”
Zhao Yi walked in. “Was this your meaning?”
Li Xizhen had recently been busy with funeral rites and had grown much thinner. “Lately everyone in court says Your Majesty is greatly different from before. In General Jade Token’s case, those thirty-plus criminal officials—you disposed of them as you said you would. Zheng Jian and those others who slandered Master Zhang Chongzhi—you also had them killed or exiled. And with the two Ministers Meng and Huang present, naturally no official in court now dares to look down on you, this new ruler.”
As she spoke, Li Xizhen raised her eyelids. “But I’ve been husband and wife with Your Majesty for many years. How could I not know? The reason you were so decisive in these two matters—first, because General Jade Token and Master Zhang Chongzhi weigh too heavily in your heart. Second, all the pent-up frustration from these many years was vented in these matters. But regarding the child in Wu Shi’s womb, you hesitated.”
“Xizhen, you shouldn’t touch such matters. I was just thinking of a foolproof strategy.”
Zhao Yi said.
Li Xizhen pulled her lips into a smile. “If I don’t touch it now, should I leave this disaster for you to be irresolute about? I naturally know you fear that if court ministers learn of such matters, it will become a handle they use to attack me in the future. But I’m not afraid of these things. I only know that if it were a princess, tonight would naturally pass peacefully. But Wu Shi gave birth to an imperial prince. If that prince existed, Your Majesty, your throne wouldn’t be secure.”
“Or do you want to punish me for my crime?”
“Xizhen! How could I possibly punish you?” Zhao Yi walked before her and crouched down, looking at her gaunt face. “I know you did this for me. I shouldn’t have shown womanly kindness. Your reproof is correct.”
Seeing him crouching before her like this, Li Xizhen couldn’t help but show a trace of a smile in her eyes. She reached out to touch his head. “How dare I reprove Your Majesty?”
“I originally never thought there would be such a day. You know, I actually don’t want to stay here at all, much less want to be any emperor. But Xizhen, now that I’m already in this position…”
Zhao Yi rested his head on her knee. “I actually don’t know if I can do well as this emperor. But with you by my side watching me, reminding me, I feel very reassured. We are husband and wife, forever.”
“Those words court ministers want you to use to persuade me—don’t listen to them. I, Zhao Yi, in this life want only you as my wife, no one else.”
Recently, as the great funeral matters gradually concluded, memorials in court petitioning the new ruler to select and establish imperial consorts to continue the imperial lineage increased. Led by Huang Zongyu, court ministers repeatedly admonished the new ruler unsuccessfully, then turned their attention to Empress Li.
“They know my health is poor. They want you to take the late emperor as a warning and have more heirs.”
Li Xizhen said.
“I was adopted by the late emperor as his son. If they press urgently, I’ll just adopt one from the imperial clan—what does it matter?”
Zhao Yi wasn’t the late emperor. He didn’t have such obstinacy about blood heirs. “Don’t you try to persuade me either.”
Li Xizhen tidied his hair. “Your Majesty, Mistress Ni has invited us to gather at her home tomorrow. She’s returning to Que County. We should properly send her off.”
Mentioning Ni Su, Zhao Yi froze, then raised his head. “That’s sister-in-law. We naturally should go.”
——
By late May, the market added over thirty varieties of peaches. Cai Chunxu had just returned from her hometown. Ni Su and she went to the street once and bought back a full basket.
At dusk, Meng Yunxian and his wife Jiang Shao happened to come over. Ni Su saw Meng Yunxian holding a jar of wine and a roasted goose. “Godfather, didn’t I say you needn’t bring things?”
“He said this is good wine he normally can’t bear to drink.”
Jiang Shao’s face bore a smile. She walked over and took her arm. “This roasted goose is my choice. That roasted goose shop in the city’s south is unparalleled in Yun Jing. I wanted to buy it for you earlier, but you were ill and shouldn’t have such rich foods.”
“Thank you, Godmother.”
Ni Su laughed. “Let’s go inside.”
Just as they lifted the curtain to the back corridor, Meng Yunxian caught the fragrance of cooked food. He couldn’t help but laugh. “Is it that young fellow called Qingqiong? This smells so good, I’m truly hungry now.”
His words had barely fallen when a young man covered in sweat ran out from the kitchen. He still wore a headscarf, eyes dark and deep, holding in his hands a dish of stir-fried seasonal vegetables. “Minister Meng, Madam Meng, you’ve arrived? Please sit quickly!”
A round table in the courtyard already had several dishes set out. Qingqiong placed the stir-fried vegetables on the table. Meng Yunxian was about to speak when he heard the sounds from the kitchen hadn’t stopped.
He looked at Qingqiong moving chairs, puzzled. “A’Xi, who did you hire to work in the kitchen?”
Ni Su had just set the basket on a corridor chair when someone emerged from the smoke-filled kitchen. He wore a light blue round-collar robe, collar white as snow, hair black and lashes thick. He was lowering the sleeves he’d rolled up. His figure was tall and upright. In the sunlight, his countenance was refined and distinguished. “Minister Meng, Madam.”
Qingqiong saw the wine jar and roasted goose in Meng Yunxian’s hands suddenly falling. He immediately extended both hands and caught them in time.
Jiang Shao also froze in place, unable to speak for a long while.
Even now when Meng Yunxian recalled that night, it felt as if he were in a dream—a nineteen-year-old youth holding a lamp, his form so faint like mist, before him, bowing in respect, asking him to let go.
Now, beneath bright and clear sunlight, the youth was still nineteen years old in appearance, bowing in respect, austere and proper.
Meng Yunxian looked at him and discovered his form didn’t seem like that night. The sunlight of late May was already intensely bright. Falling on his body, it didn’t show that faintness of his being a ghost.
He couldn’t help himself, couldn’t believe it. “…Ziling?”
Ni Su pulled Xu Hexue into the courtyard and stood before Meng Yunxian and Jiang Shao. “Godmother, Godfather, it’s him.”
“You’ve returned?”
Meng Yunxian’s eyes stung. He raised his hand, wanting to touch, yet stopped suspended in mid-air.
Xu Hexue lowered his head. “Yes, I’ve returned.”
“I heard your voice. Thank you for laying me to rest.”
“What kind of laying to rest was that? I couldn’t even find your bones. Even if it was a cenotaph, I couldn’t…” Meng Yunxian’s voice trembled. “Sixteen years late. Without that broken spear, Ziling, what face would we have had to see you in your spirit hall…”
“These things aren’t important. If not for you, if not for Yonggeng, if you hadn’t staked everything for me…” Xu Hexue spoke, gripping the hand of the woman beside him. “I wouldn’t have this opportunity now to return to the mortal world.”
“Godfather, Godmother, please don’t be sad. Quickly come sit.”
Ni Su released Xu Hexue and pushed both Meng Yunxian and Jiang Shao to sit at the table. She turned her face. “Is there still food in the kitchen?”
“Only one soup left. I’ll go get it!” Qingqiong unwrapped the oiled paper from the roasted goose and fetched several cups. Hearing Ni Su asking Xu Hexue, he immediately turned and headed to the kitchen again.
“Does Ziling also eat these things?”
Jiang Shao suppressed some tears, raised her face, and asked uncertainly.
Ni Su and Xu Hexue exchanged a glance. She smiled at Jiang Shao. “He does.”
“Had I known Ziling was here, I should have made this meal.” Jiang Shao used a handkerchief to wipe her face. “After so many years, Ziling has probably forgotten my cooking skills?”
Xu Hexue’s pale countenance held not much expression. Even his voice was cool. But even so, when he spoke he could make people feel a trace of human warmth. “Yes, it’s been many years since I ate at your home. I was young then. I’m very grateful for your care.”
“I’ll go make a dish for you to eat right now.”
Jiang Shao’s eyes grew hot again. She rose and rolled up her sleeves.
“I’ll help you.”
Ni Su took her arm and went with her to the kitchen.
Today’s reunion held no barrier between human and ghost. Beneath the whirling tree shadows, light spots rippled. The sun shone warm on people. Old friends meeting—only tender feelings.
Ni Su, Jiang Shao, and Qingqiong were all busy in the kitchen. Meng Yunxian opened the wine jar and drank a mouthful himself first. His throat burned severely. “Ziling, look at us—we’re all old, aren’t we?”
“This is something I cannot obtain.”
Xu Hexue held his wine bowl and said.
Meng Yunxian smiled bitterly. “If not for Chongzhi and me pushing new policies and offending too many people, the Xu clan line of Qingya Prefecture wouldn’t have all been lost.”
“You did nothing wrong. The state’s accumulated ills—if not removed, there’s no way to bring peace to the realm, no way to bring peace to the common people. I also read your ‘Memorial on Clear Channels’ many times.” Xu Hexue set down his wine bowl, one hand propped on his knee. “If I hadn’t devoted myself to the military, even if I were a civil official in the capital, I would also be at your and Teacher’s side, bringing peace to the state through new policies.”
“Since ancient times, those who reform have all shed blood and made sacrifices. You and Teacher weren’t afraid. Neither was I afraid.”
Xu Hexue asked, “Setting aside Teacher’s and my life and death, would you regret writing the ‘Memorial on Clear Channels’ back then?”
Meng Yunxian shook his head. “First there was Wu Qi, then Shang Yang. It seems reformers all meet bad ends, but in the end, there’s still Li Kui, isn’t there? He could reform and make Wei prosperous. I too dare stake this life as a wager—wager on Great Qi’s prosperity, wager on the people’s peace and happiness.”
A clear breeze beneath the trees rustled. Mottled fragmented light fell on Xu Hexue. “All people grow old, but I know you’re not one to submit to old age.”
“Your teacher taught you to be like this.”
Meng Yunxian looked at him. “Your heart won’t hold even a bit of resentment. This makes me feel even more ashamed.”
“Not just Teacher, but you as well. I’m very fortunate to have received instruction from you two elders.” Xu Hexue picked up the wine bowl again. Skylight rippled faintly in the bowl. “Though Teacher is not in the mortal world, he too watches you from heaven. I also pray for you, hoping for renewal of all things.”
Suddenly—a loud crash.
Both Meng Yunxian and Xu Hexue turned their heads toward the sound. They saw broken pottery pieces all over the corridor floor, a puddle of liquid dripping steadily down from the corridor.
A couple in luxurious clothing stood hand in hand, both frozen on the corridor.
“Your Majesty.”
Meng Yunxian immediately rose. “Your Majesty.”
The aged wine’s fragrance pervaded this courtyard. Zhao Yi’s hand holding his wife’s suddenly went slack. He stepped over the wine jar fragments on the ground, choosing no path, lifting his leg to cross the corridor.
Xu Hexue saw him stumble and fall to the ground. He immediately rose and walked over.
Zhao Yi raised his head. A hand with pale joints extended before him. He saw such a face. Parted in youth, he had never seen what his close friend looked like when he died at nineteen.
“Yonggeng.”
The cool voice descended. Zhao Yi’s eyelids soaked through with moisture.
How long ago—this person in the imperial palace’s Zhaowen Hall had also extended this hand to him, saying, “Zhao Yonggeng, get up.”
Zhao Yi grasped his hand, feeling only ice and snow enveloping it.
His entire body shook.
Nothing could be more direct than this temperature. In this extreme coldness, he had no choice but to face the reality that he and his close friend were separated by life and death.
Pushing open a room’s door, Zhao Yi raised his eyes. Dust fine as down floated in the sunlight. He followed Xu Hexue inside. The furnishings within were simple, without excessive decoration. Only the scrolls on the writing desk were piled high.
Though many, they were also neat.
“I thought I would never see you again.”
Zhao Yi spoke, his voice trembling, eyes brimming with tears.
But Xu Hexue asked him, “When you killed Pan Youfang and Wu Dai, you harbored a death wish, didn’t you?”
Zhao Yi’s throat choked. He couldn’t speak.
“Yonggeng.”
Xu Hexue sighed. “If not for the late emperor’s grave illness, you would have died because of me.”
“I lived more than ten years longer than you, yet couldn’t bear any heavy burden. When you were subjected to death by a thousand cuts, I couldn’t save you. When Teacher was sentenced to beheading, I also couldn’t protect Teacher… Xu Ziling, look at me—I’m just such a useless person.”
Zhao Yi cried uncontrollably. “I also can’t be like Minister Meng and the others and wait. They could still endure. But I was very afraid. I didn’t know when the late emperor would again grow weary of me. No matter how desperately I tried to stay in Yun Jing, I couldn’t withstand the Son of Heaven’s rage. Rather than that, I might as well use this life to avenge you…”
“If I wanted to live, I could only insult you again and again before the late emperor. But I didn’t want to, I truly didn’t want to…”
Xu Hexue looked at him. “Zhao Yonggeng, you’re over thirty years old and also Great Qi’s new ruler. You must not be like this.”
But Zhao Yi’s tears just wouldn’t stop. “That night you saved me—why were you unwilling to acknowledge me?”
“Precisely because I feared you’d be like this.”
Xu Hexue said.
“Yonggeng, you and I are friends. I know your nature best, and I know your difficulties. If not for this world, I wouldn’t want you in your current position either.”
Xu Hexue’s expression was calm. “But now you’re already in this position. Things you were unwilling to bear before—now you have no choice but to bear them.”
“I know.”
Zhao Yi nodded. “Teacher’s wish while living was to implement new policies for country and people. But the late emperor only treated new policies as a means to manipulate power. I don’t want that. I will certainly remember Teacher’s unfinished aspirations. I absolutely won’t fail Teacher, and absolutely won’t fail Minister Meng.”
Xu Hexue’s cool eyes and brows showed an extremely faint smile. “Do you still remember when we traveled before, encountering starved common people on the road—how heartbroken you cried?”
“I remember.”
“Then do you remember—that night you and I were penniless, sheltering at the Great Bell Temple to beg for vegetarian food—what we said?”
“I remember.”
Xu Hexue and Zhao Yi stood facing each other. One with pallid countenance, forever frozen at nineteen. One having experienced over ten years of worldly trials, already over thirty in appearance.
Old friends facing each other, as if returning to that time of youthful companionship. The two spoke in unison:
“In my heart I ponder the hardships of farming and mulberry cultivation; in my ears I seem to hear the sounds of hunger and cold. How can I obtain a great fur robe ten thousand zhang long to cover with you all of Luoyang City?”