From a very young age, Lin Yingtao realized she was a girl.
As girls grow up, they inevitably face increasing pain.
Lin Yingtao sat in her bed with reddened eyes. Her freshly washed, fragrant hair from the night before now clung to her shoulders and neck, damp with sweat. She pushed back the covers and struggled to get out of bed.
The bedsheets had been changed, though she couldn’t recall when. Crouching by her trunk, Lin Yingtao felt a sharp ache in her lower back and legs, reminiscent of the muscle soreness after overexerting herself during split practice in dance class.
She gathered her clothes, hugging them close. Too exhausted to search for a jacket in her trunk, she simply grabbed one of Jiang Qiaoxi’s sports jackets from his wardrobe, wrapped it around herself, and headed out.
In the bathroom, Lin Yingtao examined her body under the dim light. She wiped away water droplets from her cheeks several times as she inspected the bruises on her chest and thighs. Unable to see her neck, she’d have to check in the mirror later.
She turned the water on full blast, determined to wash away every trace of the milky body lotion and shampoo fragrance from her skin and hair.
Lin Yingtao took a deep breath, unable to shake the feeling that Jiang Qiaoxi had been cruel and excessive.
Her hand moved downward in the water, and her face immediately flushed again.
How exactly had he done it?
Last night, she only remembered the pain and crying, recalling nothing meaningful. Yet this morning’s events were impossible to ignore. Closing her eyes now, her mind was filled with thoughts of him.
The scalding shower water beat against her back as Lin Yingtao’s mind raced. She turned off the faucet and lifted a strand of her hair to her nose, satisfied that she could no longer detect any scent. She began to dress, putting on her usual student underwear and wrapping herself in Jiang Qiaoxi’s jacket. Gathering her things, she endured the ache in her legs as she walked out.
While blow-drying her hair, Lin Yingtao suddenly recalled her days at the experimental high school. No matter how early she arrived, Jiang Qiaoxi’s cup was always on her desk. Even then, she had sensed something unsettling: what kind of life did Jiang Qiaoxi lead beyond what ordinary students could see? How early did he come to school each day, and how late did he stay in the competition class at night? Cai Fangyuan once said that Jiang Qiaoxi never had a single day off during winter and summer breaks, with his parents arranging nothing but classes and studies for him.
Given his natural talent, such intense effort shouldn’t have been necessary. Yet it seemed Jiang Qiaoxi wasn’t allowed to have freedom or happiness. Perhaps he had even voluntarily given up on those needs. Facing adversity from a young age, his only thought was to endure and persevere alone. He may have pushed himself to that extreme to ensure he would emerge from that purgatory without fail.
So when his cousin got into trouble, he told no one, leaving without a word for Hong Kong. Lin Yingtao set down the hair dryer, remembering how Jiang Qiaoxi used to always work on math Olympiad problems in Qunshan. No matter how she tried to get his attention, he would coldly keep his head down, studying impassively. He was indeed that kind of excessively focused person who, once he set his mind on something, was hard to sway—single-minded and relentless until he achieved his goal.
As Lin Yingtao brushed her hair, her face reddened. Suddenly recalling Jiang Qiaoxi from last night and this morning, she felt as if she had been treated like one of his math problems.
Lin Yingtao nibbled on a jujube steamed bun. She had woken up hungry, then bravely made the bed at the bedside. The frustration returned as she thought about how small the bed was—they could only sleep embraced all night. How could they not think about… that?
Lin Yingtao wasn’t sure if she should talk to Jiang Qiaoxi about it.
But how would she even approach such a conversation?
Jiang Qiaoxi was the kind of strange genius who could do math problems for twenty hours straight without getting a headache. When he saw Lin Yingtao struggling with a concept, he would simply write out a practice test and make her work on it until she understood. That was just his personality and approach. It was why Lin Yingtao felt she could never keep up with him when he repeatedly hinted that her English wasn’t good enough and she should take the TOEFL—even if she went to America, it would be the same.
Simply put, Lin Yingtao had never been one to force herself to make excessive efforts. Her level of effort was always measured by her happiness and comfort, as well as that of those around her.
Before living with Jiang Qiaoxi, Lin Yingtao never thought so much about his personality. In the past, she only enjoyed the side of him that cared for and protected her.
But if they were to live together from now on, Lin Yingtao felt there was still so much they needed to communicate about. For instance, she wanted to tell him that it wasn’t as if they wouldn’t be together in the future, it was only the first day…
Lin Yingtao wanted to tell him not to “bury his head in problems” anymore.
She wouldn’t be like his parents, unresponsive to his feelings and needs.
Lin Yingtao bent down to fold the silk nightgown tucked in the bedding, wrapping the torn lace underwear that smelled of body lotion inside it and hiding everything at the bottom of her trunk. Checking the time, she saw it was almost noon. She took off Jiang Qiaoxi’s jacket and, not bothering to find new clothes, put on yesterday’s thin sweater.
She also put on the long skirt her mother had told her to buy for warmth. Her legs were too sore to wear a short skirt anyway. She picked up Jiang Qiaoxi’s jacket and brought it to her nose, unable to resist taking a deep breath.
Happily, she hung his jacket in the wardrobe.
Lin Yingtao had always been prone to overthinking. She walked out of the rental room and stood by the corridor window, looking outside. Hong Kong was full of strangers, people unrelated to Lin Yingtao. The world was so vast, and in this world, besides her parents, Lin Yingtao had formed an extraordinary connection with another person.
She would never forget Jiang Qiaoxi for the rest of her life.
She couldn’t casually dismiss this kind of relationship. Even if they were to break up in the future, Lin Yingtao could never completely forget him.
Children gradually grow up, leave their parent’s side, and move toward the partners they choose. Looking at the Hong Kong sky, Lin Yingtao wondered if this process was the meaning of love.
Even for someone like Lin Yingtao, who was so attached to her parents that she might be laughed at when she was with Jiang Qiaoxi, she unconsciously treated her parents as “adults napping behind the big wardrobe.”
Jiang Qiaoxi stepped out of the elevator, pulling up his jacket to check for any lingering smell of smoke. From a distance, he saw Lin Yingtao wearing a light pink sweater, leaning against the corridor lost in thought. Lin Yingtao turned her head and saw him. She looked like a peach, causing ripples in Jiang Qiaoxi’s heart.
Pushing open the door of the rental room, Jiang Qiaoxi embraced Lin Yingtao. He walked slowly because Lin Yingtao was backing away, her legs weak and unsteady, easy to stumble. “Still uncomfortable?” he asked, looking down. Lin Yingtao in his arms had just shaken her head when he kissed her cheek.
When Lin Yingtao shook her head, her long hair swayed, and Jiang Qiaoxi, inhaling the sweet scent, couldn’t resist. The kiss turned into a gentle bite, truly like eating a juicy, ripe peach.
Lin Yingtao looked up at him, sitting on the neatly made bed without wrinkles. She wanted to say that she had been waiting to go out with him.
“Aren’t we going out to eat?” she asked hastily.
As Lin Yingtao lay down, any rational thoughts of “talking to him” vanished from her mind. She hugged his shoulders, loving him so much.
Lin Yingtao tasted a hint of cola sweetness in Jiang Qiaoxi’s mouth and softly asked, “Where did you go to drink cola?”
Jiang Qiaoxi held her. The bed was too small; Lin Yingtao rested against his sweaty T-shirt chest. Jiang Qiaoxi breathed softly, his eyelashes lowered as he stroked her hair. “I went out to smoke for a while. Can you smell it?”
Lin Yingtao shook her head, closing her eyes. Her hairline was damp with sweat as she continued to catch her breath slowly.
The first time is always difficult, Jiang Qiaoxi thought as he held her. Like prying open an oyster, the oyster meat is tender and tightly closed. It’s hard at first, but once Yingtao gradually gets used to it, she won’t be so resistant.
“Shall we go downstairs to eat now?” Jiang Qiaoxi asked softly.
Lin Yingtao’s cheek pressed against him as she shook her head.
At that moment, the phone on the bedside table suddenly rang.
It was Lin Yingtao’s phone, but she was too lazy to answer. Jiang Qiaoxi reached over, picked it up, and glanced at it.
Lin Yingtao heard the ringtone continue while Jiang Qiaoxi remained silent.
“Who is it?” She opened her eyes and reached for the phone.
But Jiang Qiaoxi raised his hand, not letting Lin Yingtao take it.
He directly swiped to answer her phone and put it to his ear.
“Senior Rongrong!!” The person on the other end exclaimed excitedly, “The text message I sent you a few days ago—”
“Qi Le?” Jiang Qiaoxi asked softly.
The other end immediately fell silent.
“Why are you calling your Senior Lin?” Jiang Qiaoxi asked.
“S-Senior Jiang?!” Qi Le stammered in disbelief.
Lin Yingtao had just finished bathing and couldn’t go wash again immediately. She went to the bathroom to wipe herself down a bit, fixed her clothes and hair, then came out to be embraced by Jiang Qiaoxi as they went out to eat.
Jiang Qiaoxi took her on the subway, mindful of her condition and walking slowly. They went to a Cantonese restaurant where he had made a reservation in advance.
“Why is it so expensive?” Lin Yingtao asked in a low voice.
Jiang Qiaoxi sat across from her, ordering food, not looking at all like a poor student living in a 4-square-meter rental room. Leaning back in his chair, he said this was a restaurant he used to frequent with his cousin: “I wanted to bring you here before. If you had come to Hong Kong to take the TOEFL, we would have come earlier.”
Lin Yingtao couldn’t help but smile seeing him like this.
Strangely enough, Lin Yingtao had been thinking this morning that she wanted to tell Jiang Qiaoxi that they could face life’s failures and setbacks together from now on, whether it was poverty or anything else, they should be frank with each other.
But now Lin Yingtao found Jiang Qiaoxi’s proud demeanor both handsome and adorable.
After all, it was just one meal, Lin Yingtao thought. We still have money in the bank.
She took Jiang Qiaoxi’s phone to photograph the dishes and posted them on her school account and the Qunshan small group chat to show off. Lin Yingtao told Jiang Qiaoxi about something called “Weibo”: “Cai Fangyuan asked me to register so I could be his fan.”
Jiang Qiaoxi saw the waiter bringing the food and said, “Try this rice.”
It was a plate of seafood fried rice, Jiang Qiaoxi’s childhood favorite. Lin Yingtao took a bite, just one, and remembered the price on the menu. With her cheeks full, she chewed and said, “Did I just eat fifty dollars worth?”
Jiang Qiaoxi looked at her with smiling eyes: “Just tell me if it’s good or not.”
Lin Yingtao gazed at Jiang Qiaoxi’s face across the wine glass. She felt that Jiang Qiaoxi belonged in this kind of environment—in high-end restaurants with attentive service and diamond-like sparkle. She loved his confident smile, how he always wanted to surprise her, even though they were just ordinary people, still poor students.
“You say it,” Lin Yingtao asked Jiang Qiaoxi to imitate her speech.
“I say it,” Jiang Qiaoxi said, holding her hand.
They took a small boat ride on Victoria Harbour.
“You’re a Hong Kong triad boss!” Lin Yingtao suddenly turned to him and said in the sea breeze.
Jiang Qiaoxi frowned and looked away: “What are you talking about!”
Back in the rental room, Lin Yingtao changed into her childish nightgown. She sat on the cushion, leaning against Jiang Qiaoxi’s chest, drinking a beverage while calling her father. Jiang Qiaoxi held her, his chin resting on her shoulder, when she suddenly handed him the phone. Nervously, he said, “U-Uncle Lin…”
What did he have to be nervous about? Since he was nine years old, he had been eating at the same table with Uncle Lin every day.
Lin Yingtao lounged in his arms, listening to their conversation as she continued to drink. She loved nights like this, loved Hong Kong.
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Our Generation – Chapter Notes:
In August 2009, Sina launched the beta version of “Sina Weibo,” becoming the first portal website to provide microblogging services. Other microblogs included Tencent Weibo, NetEase Weibo, Sohu Weibo, etc. On March 27, 2014, Sina Weibo was renamed “Weibo.”