To avoid drawing attention, Li Chi quickly released Gui Yuanshu’s foot and they hurried back to the compound where Li Chi and the others were staying.

So when the guards posted outside the main residence saw a battered, lopsided cart arrive in a posture of defiant determination — one wheel still turning, the other wheel gone entirely, the axle dragging along the ground — they all froze for a moment.

That the horse had managed to pull it this far was nothing short of a tribute to the animal’s suffering.

The guards outside rushed forward to inquire. Gui Yuanshu straightened his clothes and explained in a perfectly breezy tone that a rampaging pig had knocked the cart over on the road, flipping it and smashing the carriage.

One of the guards looked the cart over carefully, then could not help but exclaim: “That must have been one enormous pig.”

A normal pig certainly could not have reduced a cart to this state.

Gui Yuanshu remained perfectly serene. “Quite the beast. Didn’t look like a local pig, either.”

The guard paused, then felt a flicker of indignation on behalf of local pigs everywhere.

Inside the compound, Li Chi — who had arrived ahead of them — was already staring at Gui Yuanshu with eyes wide as saucers. Gui Yuanshu stared right back, refusing to yield. The exchange left Gao Xining and the others thoroughly baffled.

Li Chi had returned without having had a chance to explain everything; he had only told them that the court official sent to investigate turned out to be Gui Yuanshu.

Now the two men sat there glaring at each other, and the atmosphere grew distinctly awkward.

Yu Jiuling sighed. “What’s all this about? You look like two women scorned.”

Gao Xining mused: “Why does he always manage to generate this particular energy with other men? They all end up looking like he wronged them.”

Yu Jiuling said: “Shouldn’t that be Old Tang’s line? And delivered with a much more aggrieved tone at that — though, no, Old Tang is the first wife, so Old Tang wouldn’t think of him as faithless.”

Gao Xining said: “You’re also one of the other men.”

She raised her hand as she said it. Yu Jiuling cried out: “I’m being wrongly accused! I won’t speak for the others, but the boss and I are absolutely innocent.”

Everyone looked at Yu Jiuling. His remark about not daring to speak for the others had neatly implicated every last one of them.

“Standing here staring at each other isn’t getting anyone anywhere,” Gao Xining said. “Why don’t you two go stare at each other inside?”

Li Chi nodded. “Fine. Let’s take this inside.”

Gui Yuanshu said: “I’m not afraid of you.”

The two of them strode into the room together. In the sitting room, Li Chi sat down; Gui Yuanshu deliberately chose the seat directly across from him, and they resumed glaring at each other.

“Even though you’re Prince Ning, I still think you’re an idiot!”

In the end, Gui Yuanshu broke first, leveling his glare at Li Chi.

Li Chi said: “Dog official.”

Gui Yuanshu said: “I suspected you’d come to Wulai City to take revenge on Gan Daode, which is exactly why I called you an idiot. You are Prince Ning. You bear the weight of ten thousand lives. You should not have come!”

Li Chi said: “Dog official.”

Gui Yuanshu said: “If something had happened to you here in Qingzhou, what would become of Jizhou? What about your friends? Your subordinates? The people of Jizhou you just saved? You are an idiot!”

Li Chi said: “Dog official.”

Gui Yuanshu said: “Is that all you can say?”

Li Chi said: “My words are worth more than yours, so I use fewer of them. Matching your volume would be giving you too much face — and I have no desire to give you face.”

Gui Yuanshu said: “Idiot!”

Li Chi said: “Childish. Dog official.”

Gui Yuanshu said: “I only used one word — idiot!”

Li Chi said: “Childish — dog official!”

Yu Jiuling turned to Gao Xining and said: “Boss, these two look like they’ll be going at it for a while yet. Should we just go eat?”

Gao Xining nodded and asked Zheng Shunshun: “What would you all like? Should we go out, or eat here?”

Zheng Shunshun said: “Whatever is easiest — please don’t go to any trouble.”

Gao Xining said: “Going out isn’t very convenient. Better to eat here and catch up properly — at least no one will see us. I’ll go make something.”

Zheng Shunshun said: “Please let us help. We’d feel terrible otherwise.”

All four of them immediately stood up. “We can all cook — let’s do it together.”

Yu Jiuling said: “Now is the time to reveal who is truly Jizhou’s supreme culinary god. Come, come — the rest of you can assist me.”

The group headed to the back courtyard, talking and laughing as they went, leaving only those two men in the sitting room, still glaring at each other.

After some indeterminate stretch of time, Li Chi said: “My eyes are getting sore. Let’s call a temporary truce.”

Gui Yuanshu said: “My thoughts exactly.”

Then he asked: “Do you think the food is ready yet?”

Li Chi said: “Probably just about. Should we go check?”

He stood and started toward the back courtyard, took a few steps, then turned around: “Dog official!”

Gui Yuanshu said: “Will you ever stop? You haven’t even reached the mental age of three. Childish!”

Li Chi said: “If I’m three, you’re two and a half.”

These two were a rare breed — one who forgot he was Prince Ning, and one who never remembered it at all.

Bickering all the way to the back courtyard, they found that Gao Xining and the others had already laid out several dishes. The two sat down and continued their verbal sparring — though their hands told a different story: he poured wine for him, he picked choice morsels for him.

Yu Jiuling watched them, exhaled heavily, and said: “Boss, I’m telling you — if you don’t do something about this, you might end up being the only woman in Prince Ning’s household.”

Gao Xining said: “That’s fine. One is enough.”

Yu Jiuling said: “Ugh!”

Gao Xining said: “I’m tired. I’ve stopped trying. This is how it is.”

Before long, however, they noticed that the two men had begun putting their heads together, conspiring in low voices about how to get revenge on Gan Daode.

Li Chi already had a plan in place, and now with Gui Yuanshu available to assist from inside the Prince’s residence, the plan suddenly seemed considerably simpler.

The two quickly ran through the whole scheme again from scratch and divided up the tasks between them — as if the three-year-old and the two-and-a-half-year-old who had been trading insults moments ago were entirely different people.

“You already know the answer to this, I think,” Li Chi said, looking at Gui Yuanshu seriously after a few cups of wine. “The Emperor sent you to Qingzhou for a reason. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it. You should think about it for your own sake — and for theirs.”

He glanced at Gui Yuanshu’s four subordinates.

Gui Yuanshu gave a bitter smile. “I’ve thought about it, but I wouldn’t say it aloud. Some things… can’t be changed, so you might as well accept them.”

Li Chi said: “This whole situation started because of me. If I hadn’t gone to Daxing, the Emperor would never have suspected you. So this is my responsibility. Don’t go back. None of you have families or estates tying you down — come back to Jizhou with me. That’s the best path.”

Gui Yuanshu’s four subordinates had little objection. Working for Prince Ning, they figured, would be a good deal more interesting than remaining in court service.

Interesting was already a powerful draw — and the prospect of actually being paid made it irresistible. In the capital, they had neither.

But they all knew that their superior had one thing he could not easily let go of: Prince Wu, Yang Jiju.

Prince Wu had been the one to recognize Gui Yuanshu’s worth and give him his opportunity. Gui Yuanshu was not a man who could forget a debt of gratitude, and so the choice became a painful one.

After a long silence, Gui Yuanshu asked Li Chi: “If I go to Jizhou, the Emperor will formally declare us all rebels. The families and friends of these men — even if they aren’t directly implicated — will spend the rest of their lives unable to hold their heads up.”

Li Chi said: “I’ll send people to the capital right now. Write me a list of names, and I’ll bring every last person on it to Jizhou.”

Gui Yuanshu’s expression shifted visibly at those words.

Yu Jiuling laughed and murmured to Gao Xining: “Boss, look — the lengths he goes to for someone he wants!”

Gao Xining said: “Why do I have the feeling that you also want him to go to those lengths for you?”

Yu Jiuling said: “Nonsense!”

Then added: “Besides, does he need to go to any lengths to get me? I’m very easy to get.”

Gao Xining yanked the stool out from under Yu Jiuling. Somehow, Yu Jiuling did not fall — his horse-riding stance was perfectly rooted.

Li Chi was in the middle of speaking with Gui Yuanshu but found a moment to glance at Yu Jiuling. He flipped the stool upside down so its legs pointed at Yu Jiuling’s backside.

Yu Jiuling: “…”

Li Chi turned back to Gui Yuanshu: “The Emperor doesn’t yet know how things stand with you in Qingzhou — there’s still time to act. I’ll write the list tonight, and first thing tomorrow I’ll dispatch people.”

Gui Yuanshu’s voice trembled slightly. “But…”

Li Chi said: “Are you worried about your reputation? Today’s emperor calls you a rebel; tomorrow’s emperor will call you a meritorious statesman. Wait and see — whose verdict carries more weight, and whose name will be remembered.”

At those words, everyone in the room went still.

Gui Yuanshu stared at Li Chi involuntarily: “That’s…” He paused, then said: “His Majesty has not had it easy. The state Dachu is in now — none of that is his fault. He has always wanted to win back the people’s hearts, to restore the realm, but…”

Li Chi said: “Then I won’t kill him. I’ll find him a small courtyard to live in when this is all over.”

Gui Yuanshu opened his mouth. Li Chi looked over at Gao Xining: “Tomorrow, send two officers of the thousand-man command. Have them bring everyone to Jizhou.”

Gao Xining nodded. “Understood. Anything else?”

Li Chi said: “Keep careful track of all their expenses on the road. Deduct it from the five of them when they get back.”

Gui Yuanshu said: “Enough — I refuse.”

Li Chi said: “I’ll dock half your pay each month and leave the other half. How many years that takes depends on how much they spend.”

Gui Yuanshu was about to reply when Zheng Shunshun cut in: “Sir, let’s take the deal. We’ve never once actually been paid by the court. Getting half is still half more than before!”

Gui Yuanshu said: “Pathetic.”

Then he asked Li Chi: “What is half exactly? Could we arrange it like this: dock one-fifth of my pay each month, and four-fifths of each of theirs?”

Zheng Shunshun said: “Sir, I want to defect.”

Ding Man said: “Seconded.”

Zhang Youdong said: “I’ll serve as an accomplice.”

Zhao Shanying said: “Forget accomplice — I’d be the ringleader and have no complaints. Let’s mutiny.”

Gui Yuanshu sighed. “That you could be bought so easily is something I never could have anticipated… What is even more astonishing is that I, too, could be bought so easily.”

Li Chi also sighed, turning to Gao Xining: “Did I set my price too high?”

Gao Xining said: “Don’t worry. I’ll tell Fang Xidao and Shang Qingzhu to pad their expense reports on the way — report fifteen taels for every five spent. Then we can dock these five for a few extra years.”

Li Chi said: “Spending five and reporting fifteen — that doesn’t seem right… It should be at least thirty.”

Gui Yuanshu: “…”

Yu Jiuling laughed: “Welcome to our loving family. Around here, we never take advantage of anyone.”

Gui Yuanshu: “…”

—