Ruan Yu sat on the carpet and buried her face in her hands.

Xu Huaisong stared at the two boxes on the floor. He slowly adjusted his glasses, then turned his head — and found her peeking at him through the gaps between her fingers. The moment she noticed him looking, she pressed her fingers shut again.

So he turned back to look at the two boxes.

Ruan Yu’s face crumpled. She tucked her head down between her knees.

This was a person waiting to be rescued.

After a moment, he maintained a composed expression and crouched down beside her, saying: “How old are you — still chewing bubble gum?”

“…”

Ruan Yu lifted her head, her face a picture of disbelief.

“Huh?” The syllable slipped out before she could stop it.

He didn’t recognize them? Could it be some kind of cultural difference between China and America?

Xu Huaisong very naturally turned back to the bag and started pulling out the other snacks one by one: “Jelly cups, prawn crackers, gummy bears — how old are you exactly?”

Watching the completely genuine look on his face — the one that said no wonder you were afraid I’d tease you — Ruan Yu’s flushed cheeks slowly returned to their normal color. “Is… is that not okay?”

Xu Huaisong smiled and glanced at her: “As long as you’re happy.” He reached out to tuck the two boxes back into the bag.

Ruan Yu snatched them up and clutched them to her chest with lightning speed: “Those are mine. You can have the rest…”

He patted her on the head. “I’m not going to fight you for them.” Then he held out his hand. “Come on, get up.”

Ruan Yu cradled the small boxes against her with one arm and used his hand to haul herself to her feet. Then she watched as he headed toward the bedroom, saying: “I’ll read for a bit and then sleep.”

She nodded, tidied up the living room, tucked the boxes away in a drawer, and when she walked into the bedroom, found Xu Huaisong propped up against the headboard with a book open to a page of review notes, looking entirely absorbed — as though completely unaffected by the accidental discovery just now.

He really didn’t recognize them.

Not sure whether to laugh or cry, Ruan Yu circled around him, went into the bathroom to brush her teeth, and stood in front of the mirror unable to put words to how she felt.

Was this relief? Or something closer to despair?

She brushed for a full ten minutes — until her teeth actually ached — before she managed to compose herself, slid the door open with a cheerful expression, and climbed into bed: “You must be exhausted today — stop reading, come to sleep!”

Xu Huaisong made a sound of agreement and closed his notebook.

Ruan Yu looked at him with a content smile — and then, in the split second her gaze swept across the cover of the book in his hands, the corners of her mouth went rigid.

His book… wasn’t it upside down?

Xu Huaisong set the book on the bedside table, switched off the overhead light, and left the small hallway lamp on by the door to give her some light.

The room dimmed considerably. Ruan Yu blinked in a daze, replaying the brief glimpse she’d caught of the cover text — and confirmed she hadn’t imagined it.

So he had spent ten minutes reading a book that was upside down, and hadn’t noticed?

What, then, had been occupying his mind?

“…”

Ruan Yu slowly pulled back the covers, slowly climbed in, slowly turned her gaze toward the ceiling.

He recognized them.

Of course he recognized them.

He had recognized them and pretended not to — to protect her dignity, to spare her the embarrassment.

He had recognized them and pretended not to — because the so-called wolf without utensils had always been nothing but an excuse.

He would rather take a cold shower. Read a book upside down. Than cross that line — until he decided the time was right.

At eighteen, unable to determine their future, he had refused to tell her he liked her. At twenty-six, unable to be certain of their future, he refused to tell her he loved her.

Even as that love had grown heavy enough to make him wrench the steering wheel.

Ruan Yu felt her nose sting. She lay there staring at the extinguished overhead light, holding her tears back.

How could he be such a fool, Xu Huaisong.

Such a thorough fool — she couldn’t even stay angry at him.

Xu Huaisong was just about to lie down when he noticed her staring at the ceiling with an expression of someone profoundly moved. He paused. “What’s up there?”

Ruan Yu sniffled, forcing back the tremor in her voice: “This light is so beautiful…”

“…”

Xu Huaisong was quiet for a moment. “Should I turn it on for you?”

She shook her head. “It’s beautiful switched off too…”

He propped himself up on one elbow and blinked at her. “Do you want to sit up and look at it for a while?”

She nodded.

So he lay down first.

Ruan Yu sat with her arms around her knees, still gazing at the ceiling light, trying to settle the tide of emotions inside her — but it only surged stronger.

Xu Huaisong, who went so quiet when he was hurting.

Xu Huaisong, who went just as quiet when he was in love.

This man was not a burst of brilliant fireworks. He was not a crack of earth-shaking thunder. He was a slow, steady stream of water, flowing over stone and through gullies, carrying with it — all the way — the finest love in the world, and delivering it to her, drop by patient drop.

Quiet and unhurried — yet capable of flowing on forever.

Ruan Yu pulled the covers up and slowly lay down, turning on her side to face him. “Xu Huaisong — do you think you’ll ever grow tired of me one day? Leave me?”

Xu Huaisong, who had been lying flat, immediately furrowed his brow at those words. He turned his head and said: “No.” Then: “What are you th—”

“I won’t leave you either.” She cut him off. “I really won’t.”

The furrow in his brow eased. Then he watched as she drew closer to him. “So between us — there is no uncertain future.”

“Right.” He smiled and let out a quiet breath. “You don’t have to comfort me. I know it was a misunderstanding before.”

Ruan Yu shook her head, signaling that this wasn’t about comfort, and said haltingly: “What I mean is — if that’s the case, then why are we… not together yet?”

He paused. “We’ve already been together for two—”

“I mean,” she cut him off quickly, but couldn’t get the rest of the words out. “I mean…”

Xu Huaisong read her meaning from the flustered, embarrassed expression on her face and blinked slowly.

As his eyes flickered, it was as though stars had fallen into the depths of them.

He was silent for a long time before he spoke to confirm it: “Are you serious?”

Afraid that even a flicker of hesitation on her part would send him retreating again, Ruan Yu nodded without the slightest pause, firmly and decisively: “It has nothing to do with you saving me, and nothing to do with what you went through today. This is me wanting to—”

Wanting to give herself to him.

When she finished, she dropped her gaze and fixed it on the tip of her own nose, not daring to look at him.

For a long moment, Xu Huaisong didn’t move. He just looked at her.

Right as Ruan Yu squeezed her eyes shut and steeled herself to close the distance herself — he gently took hold of her chin, and asked one final time:

“Then I won’t hold back anymore…”

She softly closed her eyes, and nodded.

……

Author’s Note: There are nearly two thousand more words on my Weibo — time is limited, everyone go quickly! This installment is called “Seventy Miles an Hour, Heart Free as the Open Air.” Password: “u9by.” (Not DM — click the shared link directly.)