Another dozen or so days slipped by in a blur. Then one day, after the first snowfall of winter cleared, the Kong Nanny whom Wang Shi had long been anticipating arrived at last, graceful and composed. It was said she was a descendant of a collateral branch of the Kong family of Shandong — the family of Confucius himself — who had risen from palace maid to female official. Over the past several decades, as emperors came and went, she had remained steadily in her rotating position among the six bureaus of female officials. A few years ago, she had retired from the palace on account of old age and illness and had been living in quiet repose at the Rongen Monastery in the capital.
In recent times, it had become fashionable among ducal, marquis, earl, and distinguished noble households to invite former palace women into their homes to teach their daughters proper etiquette and deportment. Minglan’s understanding of this was that it was a way to increase the added value of the girls.
This Nanny had previously served at the Duke of England’s estate, the Duke of Zhiguo’s estate, and the Marquis of Xiangyang’s estate, teaching and cultivating several young ladies in each — and all spoke of her as being patient and temperate, careful and thorough in teaching rules and propriety without resorting to the punishments and beatings favored by other nannies, yet still managing to teach etiquette to a high standard. Wang Shi had not expected the Old Madam to have such distinguished connections — to have actually secured a nanny of such caliber — and went to Shòu’ān Hall several times to express her gratitude.
A woman who had spent several decades as a female official in the palace without any scandal to her name — Minglan suspected this Nanny must be very safe-looking in appearance. Upon meeting her, indeed that was the case. Kong Nanny was a few years younger than the Old Madam, slender in build, with small eyes and a flat nose, a wide round face that looked amiable, dressed in a silver-grey unembellished brocade coat with only fur trim along the cuffs, her hair simply wound with a flat white jade pin carved in an inlaid ruyi pattern — altogether very plain and neat.
She had originally intended to perform the formal court greeting for the Old Madam, but the Old Madam quickly helped her up. They were old acquaintances, and so sat together on the brick bed to chat. A person of such ordinary appearance, yet when she spoke, it was like bathing in a spring breeze — her every gesture was natural and flowing, courteous and dignified. Sheng Hong and Wang Shi sat smilingly to one side. Hualan, her little face flushed with excitement, reined in her hands and feet and did not dare say a word extra. Molan sat elegantly, maintaining a perfect smile as she listened to the two elders converse. Wang Shi, afraid Rulan might do something imprudent and embarrass the Sheng family, had not brought her along at all.
“Master Sheng’s upright governance and virtue in administration are spoken of with great esteem even in the capital. Now with children and grandchildren filling the hall, and the young masters and young ladies all as fine as orchids and jade trees in snow — the Old Madam is truly blessed.” Kong Nanny said with a warm smile.
“To have actually persuaded you — a woman as busy as you — to come: that is where my good fortune lies. I leave my eldest girl in your hands. Whatever does not please you, feel free to punish her as you see fit — no need to hold back.” The Old Madam laughed and gestured toward Hualan.
“What is the Old Madam saying? Whatever standing I have today was given to me by the noble families I have served — at heart, I was nothing but a servant in the palace. As I see it, rules and propriety are meant to illuminate virtue and clarify the proper conduct between people; they are not meant to torment anyone. Rules are important, but they need not be inflexible — what matters is that they are internalized. Besides, how could any granddaughter of the Old Madam’s be wanting?” Kong Nanny said, glancing casually at Hualan as she spoke. Hualan seemed to take it as encouragement and sat straight-backed and upright, with an expectant look — as if she were expressing her determination through her very posture.
“That Nanny has been willing to come is entirely thanks to Mother’s good fortune. When Nanny has leisure time from instructing our Hua’er, please also share with us some news from the capital, so those of us who have lived outside for so many years in the provinces may broaden our horizons.” Wang Shi said.
“From Quanzhou to Dengzhou, traveling from the south to the north — rich in goods and people, with wide skies and open seas. Having seen great mountains and rivers, and knowing the customs and customs of far-flung places north and south — your knowledge must surpass that of an old woman like me who has never moved from her spot. You are being far too modest.” Kong Nanny’s modest smile was delivered with such grace that Wang Shi felt every pore on her body open with satisfaction, and she beamed with a grin she could not conceal.
Kong Nanny spoke very slowly, yet without giving the impression of dragging; she did not say much, but every word was precisely right — both respectful and agreeable to hear. Minglan, watching from the side, felt deep admiration. Wang Shi and Hualan had prepared themselves for a strict and demanding governess and steeled their hearts for hardship; they had not expected Kong Nanny to be so warm and amiable, and were delighted, their gratitude to the Old Madam all the greater. Wang Shi had long since prepared a room and servants for Kong Nanny’s use, but Kong Nanny gently indicated she would prefer to spend one night at Shòu’ān Hall first to catch up with the Old Madam. Wang Shi naturally agreed.
That evening, Kong Nanny slept in the Old Madam’s warm alcove.
“That you were actually willing to come — I did not quite dare hope to ask you,” the Old Madam said.
“Honestly, I had grown quite weary of those grand and powerful households. Everyone wears a thousand different faces; inside and out it is all calculation and scheming without rest. I have spent my whole life reading people’s minds — even in my dreams I am weighing the hearts of noble personages. I had thought that after my retirement I might live a few days of peace. As it turned out, there was no quietude to be had, so I used your invitation as an excuse to flee the capital and have a few tranquil days. And besides, I am old now — in the end, the leaves must fall back to their roots.” Kong Nanny, shedding the unhurried composure she had worn earlier, looked thoroughly exhausted.
“Have you found a place to settle? If there is anything I can help with, you must let me know.” The Old Madam’s eyes held a trace of sorrow.
“There is no need — I found a place long ago. I still have a distant nephew back in my hometown; he has no parents, and I have no heir. It works out well for us to keep each other company. Besides, as you know, this body of mine has not many days left in it. I no longer wish to be constrained.” Kong Nanny wore the air of someone freed from a long burden.
The Old Madam felt a pang of sympathy and said softly: “Your life has not been easy either. You had already been betrothed — the entry papers clearly bore your younger sister’s name — yet your stepmother forcibly substituted you in her place and sent you into the palace. She cost you your whole life.”
“What do you mean, not easy?” Kong Nanny laughed with easy openness. “I have experienced more in my life than most ordinary people — never mind the food and comforts I have enjoyed. As for emperors, I have seen several; empresses, five of them; as for imperial consorts and noble ladies, they were as numerous as fish crossing a river. That counts as having seen the world! And I have managed to live to my sixties with clothing and food assured — I have nothing to complain of. As for my younger sister — she married, took a lover, poisoned a concubine’s mother-in-law, was cast out by her husband, and spent her whole life in ruin and disgrace. My stepmother spent everything she had on that sister, and in the end died destitute and wretched. I have done far better than either of them.” She chuckled. “When I first heard the news, I privately drank an entire bottle of aged liquor in celebration!”
The Old Madam laughed. “You have not changed at all — looking respectful on the outside, but wildly free-spirited within.”
Kong Nanny’s expression dimmed slightly. “Without that — how would one have endured it?” Then she suddenly turned to the Old Madam with a deliberately peculiar voice: “But you — how have you cultivated yourself and nurtured your nature to such a degree? Where has all the spirit you once had gone?”
The Old Madam shook her head with a helpless air. “Hong’er is not my own flesh and blood, after all — why make myself unwelcome? Besides, I am tired. Back then I turned everything upside down — and what came of it in the end? Nothing but emptiness.”
Kong Nanny said with a cold laugh: “I think you have been living backward as you age. Have you not thought of this? The Empress Jing’an had a far harder life than you — she lost two sons, had a daughter taken away from her, and was a princess of the imperial house — she could not simply run off and marry another. What could she do? When His Majesty Emperor Zong favored her, she was happy; when he neglected her, she was happy too. Do you recall what she used to say to us back then? ‘A woman’s life holds few things that go her way — both our birth and our marriage are beyond our control — we must find our own pleasures. Sing to the wine, for life is brief.’ Though she did not live long, she lived every day with joy and to the fullest; after she passed, Emperor Zong pined for her day after day, and eventually fell ill and never recovered…” Kong Nanny’s voice gradually dropped lower. The Old Madam too grew distant in her gaze. Both of them were thinking of that spirited, unrestrained woman.
Kong Nanny let out a long, slow breath. “And so I listen to her words and never let vexing things weigh on my heart. When the time comes to play the fool, I play the fool; when the time comes to be humble, I am humble; when the time comes to eat, I eat; when the time comes to enjoy, I enjoy. I have not wasted this one life. If you had entered the palace with that stubborn temper of yours back then, you would not have died eight times over — you would have died eighty!”
The Old Madam recalled her own bright-spirited youth and felt a wave of wistful longing. After a long moment, she shook her head and changed the subject: “Enough of that. Tell me — what do you think of my household?”
Kong Nanny rolled her eyes. “A complete shambles. No rules to speak of. And the most rule-less person of all is you yourself!” She seemed to have been stifled in the capital for a very long time and finally had someone to speak freely with. The Old Madam could only let her continue.
“Your late father-in-law was a capable figure — built up a considerable family fortune, and among his children produced two accomplished ones. Before his death he personally divided the estate — but the trouble was, not long after he passed, your husband went too. If it were not for you, that treacherous uncle would have picked Sheng Hong’s bones clean long ago — how would any of this property have survived? At the time, you had money, you were still young, and the old Marquis and his wife — Sheng Hong’s grandfather and grandmother — were still alive and in good health. Remarrying would have posed no difficulty. Even if staying in Jinling and the capital was awkward, the world is wide — you could have gone somewhere far away and made a fresh life for yourself. Marry again, have children of your own, live your own small life in peace — would that not have been delightful?! Instead you chose to observe widowhood for that heartless man — took that concubine-born son into your name, held up the entire Sheng family, found him teachers, saw him through his examinations, into his marriage, through having children of his own — and then what? You retired to a corner and became a living ghost! What sense does that make at all?!” Kong Nanny came close to jabbing her finger directly into the Old Madam’s face.
“You may not be his birth mother, but you are his legitimate mother — and your kindness to him is deep as the mountains and sea. You have every right to hold yourself upright and command proper respect. What is there to hesitate over? I am telling you: children are all ingrates. Marry a wife, forget your mother — if you do not hold yourself in regard, he will gladly push you aside. Our dynasty governs through filial piety; if he showed even half a sign of defiance, he would be finished in the official world! At the very least, you must live your days in comfort. If not for your own sake, then for the sake of that treasure of a granddaughter of yours.” Kong Nanny gestured with her chin toward the Pear Blossom Chamber.
The Old Madam, having been thoroughly doused with words — and unable to refute a single one of them — was relieved to find a new subject. She quickly said: “Yes, speaking of that — what do you think of my Ming Jie’er?”
Kong Nanny tilted her head, considered for a moment, then said: “Very fine indeed.”
Seeing the Old Madam’s expression of eager anticipation, she added a few more words: “That child has a pair of beautifully made eyes — serene, clear, open-hearted — as though she has seen through everything, yet without being cold or detached. She is still cheerful and contented. Steady and proper, she knows not to draw attention to herself in front of others — better than you in that respect. Your heart-and-liver treatment of her has not gone to waste.”
The Old Madam shot her a look. “What heart-and-liver treatment? I treat all my granddaughters equally.”
Kong Nanny waved an impatient hand. “Stop pretending with me. Just at dinner tonight — how many times did you put food in her bowl? Every so often you would say, ‘Ming Jie’er, eat a bit more,’ and then a little while later, ‘No being picky.’ Every time she reached her chopsticks toward a dish a few times extra, that Nanny Fang of yours would quietly take note. Do you think I am blind?! Just now when she went to sleep, you left me sitting here on my own for a good while — you must have waited until you watched her take her medicine and settle in for the night, then waited until she fell asleep before coming back.”
The Old Madam gave up trying: “That child sleeps a fair amount, but it is never restful sleep. She wakes up several times a night, and sometimes she cries herself awake in the middle of the night. I know — she is keeping her sorrow bottled up inside and cannot let it out. She tosses and turns at night, but in the daytime she carries on as though nothing is wrong — she follows along as I read and study, sits quietly and listens to this old woman of mine ramble on. It is strange — she is not as perceptive and articulate as Lin Yiniang was once, nor as lively and winning as the Hua girl; yet I feel she is the one who understands me best.” A note of wistfulness crept into her voice.
“That is because you have grown wiser. You were wronged for half your life, and at last you have learned to look at people’s inner substance. No matter how elaborate the exterior, it matters less than a person’s genuine character. And you have been alone for so long — now that you have a child accompanying you every day, no matter how composed you try to remain, you cannot help but treat her as your very heart.” Kong Nanny’s gaze was sharp, and her words went straight to the point.
The Old Madam pointed at her and scolded: “You old thing — with that razor of a tongue — how did you not meet your end in the palace? To come out here and torment people.”
Kong Nanny retorted: “Naturally! Have you not heard — good people have short lives, while plagues endure for a thousand years?”
With that, the two old women laughed together.
After laughing for a good while, the Old Madam, wiping the tears from her eyes, stretched her neck to peer toward the Pear Blossom Chamber, only to be pulled back by Kong Nanny: “Do not look — you will not wake your little granddaughter. She drank a full bowl of the tranquilizing broth, did she not? If she stirred, there would already be sounds. Come, sit back — I have something to say to you.”
The Old Madam reflected that this was true and turned back. Kong Nanny’s expression grew earnest. “I am a commoner woman from Shandong. You are a nobleman’s daughter from Jinling. Because of the Empress Jing’an, our paths crossed and we became acquainted — that counts as fate. There are some things I must counsel you on.”
The Old Madam nodded solemnly. Kong Nanny then spoke: “I know you were wronged for half your life — you fought hard and yet in the end found only the passing of a man and the fading of feeling, and so grew cold to the core and refused to remarry, choosing instead to guard the Sheng family’s interests. But I ask you — how many days do you have left?”
Seeing the Old Madam’s expression turn sorrowful, Kong Nanny continued: “The Empress Jing’an said something on her deathbed, and I give it to you today: as the saying goes, man proposes, but heaven disposes. A woman’s life is never easy — but whatever could be done, we have done; what comes after depends on the will of heaven. Our parents raised us at no small cost — whatever we do, we cannot squander this one life for nothing. Live as well as you can, make each day good. As long as you have breath in your body, you must go on living properly — speak up when you see something wrong, call it out when something is amiss. Put on the bearing of the eldest daughter of the Xu family of Jinling, set the household’s rules back in order — if not for your own comfort, then at least to leave your Sheng grandchildren a worthy example. Does that not make sense?”
The Old Madam’s eyes reddened; she gently pressed a handkerchief to the corners of her eyes. “It is only an old sister like you who would still say these words to me now. I receive your kind intentions, Elder Sister… At the very least, I must hold on until Ming Jie’er is safely married off.”
Kong Nanny, seeing that her counsel had succeeded, was greatly heartened. “That is the right way to think. Sixth Young Miss is still young and will be relying on you for a great deal yet to come. I do not ask for great wealth or glory for her — only that she finds a good family in due course.”