Shen Zhuxi found herself hoping that every open-air night she would ever need to endure in this lifetime had already been used up in these last few days.
In order to shake off Han Fengyue’s relentlessly pursuing soldiers, Shen Zhuxi had, in the space of just six days, passed in and out of the borders of Tangzhou, Suizhou, Ruzhou, and Xuzhou. Along the way she had taken shelter in all manner of crumbling temples and mountain caves, and listened to all manner of tiger roars and wolf howls.
The mice that would once have made Shen Zhuxi leap three feet into the air now left her numb — once you had spent a night in a mountain cave, you quickly learned that mice were not the most terrifying thing out there.
Bats and centipedes were.
They spent their days tangling with forests and caves. For the sake of convenience, Li Wu had once again swapped out his brocade robe and leather boots for the coarse cloth clothing that let him crawl and roll freely on any terrain. Shen Zhuxi too had deliberately put on her cheapest outfit, intending to wear it until it was worn through enough to throw away.
At long last, they managed to shake off their pursuers at the border of Suizhou. After a thorough recalculation of their route, Li Wu decided to travel east from Shenzhou and head straight into Huzhou, in the Hubei-Guangdong region.
That same evening, they passed through a small village. Li Que negotiated with a household near the village entrance, and the family agreed to lend them a room for one night, for a price of ten taels of silver.
Inside the mud-walled earth house was a single long earthen sleeping platform — large enough for all four of them. Li Que had originally suggested that he and Li Kun sleep on the floor, but Shen Zhuxi felt uncomfortable with the thought of them lying on the cold, hard ground and took the initiative to invite them onto the platform.
Her only concern was whether Li Wu would mind having another man lying in the same bed as his wife in name only — but Li Wu said nothing, and instead turned and gave her a look of approval.
Encouraged by his acknowledgment, Shen Zhuxi felt warmth rise in her chest, and she smiled, a little bashfully.
Toward evening, Li Kun unstrapped one of the eight or nine heavy, bulging bundles from his back — inside it were the provisions they had been eating on the road. Li Kun was greedy, but whatever food was entrusted to his keeping never mysteriously diminished.
After Li Wu had counted through the food in the bundle, he broke into a satisfied smile: “Well done — Diao did a good job. As a reward, you get a big steamed bun.”
He rummaged through the provisions, making careful comparisons, and selected the largest mixed-grain bun, which he handed to Li Kun, whose face lit up with delight.
Next, Li Wu pulled out the remaining buns in descending order of size, distributing them one by one to Li Que and Shen Zhuxi, before finally taking the last one for himself. The bun he ended up with was even smaller than Shen Zhuxi’s.
Li Que looked at the bun in his hand and had just started to speak when Shen Zhuxi pressed her own bun into Li Wu’s hands, forcibly trading it for his smaller one.
“I want this nicer-looking one.”
“How can a steamed bun look nice or not nice?” Li Wu furrowed his brow and reached out to swap them back.
Shen Zhuxi clutched the small bun to her chest and turned away to stop him from grabbing it.
“Have you never heard that small and dainty is a virtue? I happen to like this one.”
“Who in their right mind picks the small one over the big one — you really are a blockhead!” Unable to wrest the small bun away from Shen Zhuxi’s determined defense, Li Wu grumbled and complained as he took an indignant bite of the bun in his hands.
“You’re the blockhead!” Shen Zhuxi shot back. “You absolute blockhead!”
Li Que lowered his head and barely suppressed a laugh that nearly escaped his throat. With these two bickering and making noise, even the dry, crumbling bun in his hands somehow tasted better. He smiled cheerfully and broke off a small piece, passing it to Li Kun, who was bolting down his food beside him:
“Second Brother, eat slower — drink more water and your belly will fill up.”
Li Kun startled, and accepted it blankly: “Thank you…… Third Brother……”
Li Que said: “I should be the one thanking you — it’s been Second Brother carrying all our luggage along the way. My genuine thanks.”
Li Kun’s face turned red, and he rubbed the back of his head with a shy smile.
That evening, all four of them lay on the same earthen sleeping platform. Shen Zhuxi slept on the far left, with Li Wu beside her to separate her from his two brothers.
After days of dusty, grueling travel on the road, being able to properly wash up in hot water and sleep soundly under a roof was enough to move Shen Zhuxi nearly to tears.
She and Li Kun were of one mind on this — Li Kun’s head had barely touched the pillow when a thunderous rumbling rose from his throat.
Li Wu and Li Que, however, seemed to be the opposite. Their breathing was shallow and even, with almost no sound at all. Though both were lying down, their minds were clearly still awake and alert.
Shen Zhuxi couldn’t hold out any longer. She had it in mind to ask Li Wu why he couldn’t sleep, but the exhaustion of many days on the road dragged her swiftly down into slumber.
In her drowsy state, she seemed to catch the sound of voices, followed by a brief burst of clattering and banging. The next morning, however, when she woke, everything was as usual — save for the married couple who had taken them in, whose faces were each marked with patches of green and purple bruising. The strange sounds of the night might as well have been a dream.
After a simple breakfast, they set off on horseback once more.
The moment Shen Zhuxi caught sight of the large yellow horse, she wanted to wince. Over the past several days on the road, the insides of her thighs had been worn raw against the saddle. The wound was in an awkward place, and not wanting to slow Li Wu’s pace, she had gritted her teeth and said nothing for days — with the result that the injury had grown worse and worse. The pain when she was moving was bad enough, but putting the wounded thighs back against a jolting saddle and subjecting them to repeated friction — that burning, scalding sensation was not something the ordinary person could endure. Tears had streamed down her face more than once up in that saddle, and the only saving grace was that the wind was strong enough up there to dry her tears before Li Wu could ever catch sight of them.
“What’s wrong?” Li Wu watched Shen Zhuxi, who had been standing in front of the horse for quite some time without making a move to put her foot in the stirrup.
“Oh…… just a moment……”
Shen Zhuxi reluctantly raised her leg, and a searing pain immediately shot through her inner thigh.
She paused for just a moment, then gritted her teeth and, with Li Wu’s steadying hand, forced herself to climb up onto the large yellow horse as though nothing was the matter.
She refused to become anyone’s burden.
Shen Zhuxi was up on the horse, but Li Wu hadn’t moved. He looked at her for a moment, then said: “Wait here.”
He went back into the village family’s house. No one knew what was said inside, but in a short while he came back out again. This time he mounted the horse swiftly and decisively, took the reins, gave the horse’s flank a light press, and the large yellow horse began to walk at a slow and easy pace.
Li Wu said: “No need to push so hard today — we’ll take it slow.”
Shen Zhuxi quietly let out a breath of relief inside.
That evening, they finally passed out of Shenzhou. As the sun was sinking to the horizon, they came across an abandoned, crumbling temple. Li Wu was worried that if they kept riding, they might not even find another crumbling temple to shelter in. Shen Zhuxi too had no desire to sleep in another cave. The four of them were of one accord — they immediately tied the horse to a crooked-necked tree outside and made their careful way into the temple.
The crumbling temple was thick with cobwebs and carpeted in dust, with no sign of human presence — though the dusty carpet bore quite a few hoof prints and paw prints left by wild boars and rabbits.
Li Kun and Li Que set down their packs, made a rough clearing to sleep in, then took up their respective weapons and went out to hunt for game.
On these past days of travel, they occasionally managed to bring down a bird or wild rabbit that had ventured out in search of food. Whenever that happened, it was a proper feast — that insufferable man, who never traveled without bringing along his seasonings, would personally take charge of the cooking, and with nothing more than a crude campfire and whatever wild greens and wild fruit he could name or not name, he could produce roasted fare that would not have been out of place at an imperial kitchen.
Shen Zhuxi sank down onto the bedroll spread over a layer of straw and had no desire to move. The inside of her thighs was aching fiercely. She very much wanted to take off her inner trousers and look at the wound, but with Li Wu present, she couldn’t very well do so.
She had just been thinking of saying something to redirect her attention, when Li Wu walked straight toward her.
“Roll it up, let me look.” Li Wu crouched in front of her.
“……Roll what up?” Shen Zhuxi hadn’t caught on for a moment.
“Your inner trousers.” he said.
“You — you shameless scoundrel!” Shen Zhuxi’s face burned with heat.
“A shameless scoundrel wants to see smooth white legs — not yours, worn raw to a pulp.” Li Wu pulled a palm-sized tin from inside his robe and twisted off the lid, revealing a green ointment inside. “This is the medicated bruise salve I got from that village family. It works just the same on external wounds like yours.”
Shen Zhuxi snatched the ointment from him with a red face: “I’ll do it myself!”
“Can you manage?” Li Wu furrowed his brow skeptically.
“I can!”
“Fine, apply the medicine yourself — call me if you need anything.” Li Wu turned his back to her.
“You’re not going to step outside?” Shen Zhuxi asked, wide-eyed with surprise.
“Stop being so dramatic! Hurry up and put the medicine on — if you don’t get moving, I’ll be sneaking peeks at you with the back of my head.” Li Wu said with displeasure.
And he was the one annoyed! What kind of person was this demanding?
After reassuring herself several times over that his angle truly did not allow him to see her, Shen Zhuxi unwillingly pulled down her outer garment and carefully rolled her inner trousers up to the top of her thighs.
The insides of her thighs, after days of riding, had progressed from their initial redness and swelling to actual open wounds, with dried blood bonded tightly to her inner trousers. When she rolled the fabric up, it was as though she were peeling away a layer of skin from her own legs with her bare hands.
Li Wu was in the room, and Shen Zhuxi did not want to appear useless — but even so, from between her tightly clenched teeth came an involuntary trembling, broken whimper.
Rolling the trousers to the top of her thighs, all the strength in her body seemed to leave with them. A hissing sound of indrawn breath escaped Shen Zhuxi’s throat; the long, burning, searing ache left her so numb she could not move her fingers, could not speak a single word. Only the tears that rolled from her blurring eyes came without her permission, falling one after another.
“……You really are something.” A hand took the medicine tin she had snatched away. Li Wu’s voice carried no hint of whether he was pleased or displeased — he seemed to let out a sigh. “You really are something, Shen Zhuxi. Your old man wasn’t wrong — the insides of your thighs are worn nearly to pieces.”
Shame and anxiety surged up inside Shen Zhuxi. She buried her face in her knees and hid her wayward tears in her cupped hands. Her legs instinctively drew together and shrank back under Li Wu’s gaze.
Li Wu pressed down on her restless legs and said with displeasure: “Your chamber pot is emptied by your old man every single time — what part of yourself could you possibly have left to hide from me?”
His intent had been to offer the blockhead some comfort, but the result was that at those words her shoulders shook even harder — as though he had humiliated her.
“Stop your crying! You’re not some immortal maiden who subsists on dew and moonlight — your old man has never harbored any unrealistic illusions about you.” Li Wu firmly pulled her legs open, and something cool and soothing landed on her burning, raw wound.
“You…… don’t you find it ugly, don’t you find it disgusting?” Shen Zhuxi kept her eyes squeezed shut, sobbing with mortification.
Li Wu spread the ointment with the pad of his finger and said: “Your old man’s case of frostbite sores was far worse-looking than this.”
“……How much worse?”
“Worse than your torn-up mess. Red and purple all at once — even a monkey’s backside looked better than mine.”
“You all ride too — how is it that you haven’t had a single problem?”
“We’re tough and thick-skinned, knocked about all over the place — how could you possibly compare?” Li Wu scooped out a bit more ointment and applied it to her other leg, spreading it open with a light and unhurried touch that stood in complete contrast to the casualness of his words. “Shen Zhuxi——”
“……What?” Shen Zhuxi had stopped crying, answering him through her nose.
“You are very strong.” Li Wu brought his other, clean hand down on her head and gave it a firm ruffle. “But I hope you understand — asking others for help is not a sign of weakness.”