Coming out of Noble Consort Chen’s sleeping quarters, Xie Yuzhang walked very slowly — so slowly she herself felt nothing of it until Lin Fei called out to her with a complicated expression, and she suddenly came back to herself.

The palace attendants and eunuchs behind her had not adjusted to her pace. The princess they served had always moved with light, swift steps, fluttering through the palace like a butterfly in flight.

Yet the speed and bearing of her walking just now had been like that of an aging palace consort who had not been favored by the Emperor in years — slow and meek.

Facing the puzzled and astonished gazes of those around her, Xie Yuzhang’s expression did not change. She had faced far too many kinds of gazes over the years, many of them filled with malice. She had long since learned to meet them with the composure of still, undisturbed water.

“I want to talk with A’Fei. All of you walk further away,” she said.

The palace attendants halted in their steps. When Xie Yuzhang and Lin Fei had walked some distance ahead, they followed at a far-off distance behind.

“I thought Elder Sister liked me,” Xie Yuzhang said, her face without expression.

Before she had been sent for the marriage alliance, she had believed that everyone in this palace liked her.

Yet just now, in Noble Consort Chen’s sleeping quarters, she had read with absolute clarity from Princess Anle Xie Yunlan’s smile how much disdain the woman felt for her.

Thinking back on it, Princess Anle Xie Yunlan had been her exact opposite in almost every way.

She herself was lively and carefree — so Xie Yunlan was dignified and virtuous. She herself was gifted in music and could sing and dance — so Xie Yunlan devoted her efforts to poetry and literature. She herself dressed in bright and striking colors — so Xie Yunlan chose pale and elegant refinement…

In the past, she had simply assumed this was due to the difference in their personalities. But in reality, where she could not compete in one direction, Xie Yunlan simply took a different path. It was, in fact, the very same tactic the palace consorts used in their competition for the Emperor’s favor.

Lin Fei looked up in surprise, and seeing Xie Yuzhang watching her, she parted her lips but did not, as she used to, offer comfort. Under Xie Yuzhang’s gaze, clear as still water, she lowered her eyes.

“Elder Sister Anle dislikes me,” Xie Yuzhang said softly. “You… have always known.”

How could she not have known?

She was clearly the Emperor’s eldest daughter, clearly the daughter of a woman who was supremely favored in the inner palace — yet in everything she was overshadowed by Xie Yuzhang. If she herself had been Xie Yunlan, she doubted she could have liked Xie Yuzhang either.

Only her own naive little princess could have believed in the deep bond of sisters, that blood was thicker than water.

Lin Fei said in a low voice, “In this palace, no matter who likes or dislikes Your Highness — as long as the Emperor cherishes you, that is enough.”

This was truly the unshakeable truth of the inner palace.

Before Xie Yuzhang turned fourteen, she had, in fact, lived by precisely that truth.

Xie Yuzhang laughed at herself and strode forward again, continuing in a low voice, “I’ve thought it through.”

Lin Fei was puzzled. “Thought what through?”

“The marriage alliance.” Xie Yuzhang said. “It’s actually not that terrible.”

Lin Fei’s expression changed. She stepped quickly to walk close beside Xie Yuzhang and lowered her voice urgently. “Your Highness, please don’t let your thoughts run wild. Nothing is decided yet. We still have room to plan. Perhaps we could go and appeal to the Crown Prince…”

But Xie Yuzhang laughed.

She said with a smile, “A’Fei, don’t be tense.”

Lin Fei was stunned. She knew Xie Yuzhang to the very depths of her soul, and had never seen her smile like this before — a smile as though she had already passed through long years of hardship, a smile as still and deep as water with not a ripple upon it.

“Something that feels unbearable when it is happening to you yourself…” Xie Yuzhang said, “it is only when you hold it up against others’ misfortunes that you realize perhaps you are not the most wretched one of all.”

Xie Yuzhang had come to pay her respects to Noble Consort Chen partly because she had been hiding away for three days and it was time to show her face again. But the other reason was that she had specifically wanted to see Noble Consort Chen and Princess Anle.

If her guess, and Lin Fei’s, was correct — that in her previous life she had been pushed out for the marriage alliance due to Noble Consort Chen’s scheming — then she had essentially borne on her behalf the fate that should have been Princess Anle’s to bear.

Carrying that anger pressed deep in her heart, she had gone to see Princess Anle. But upon seeing her, she had suddenly become clear-headed.

While Lin Fei was still thinking of how to help her escape the fate of the marriage alliance, she herself had begun to wonder: was staying behind truly any better?

Of the Emperor’s four daughters, the only one to survive in the end had been herself.

Anle died. They all died.

The military governor Lin Xiupu laid siege to Yunjing. The Emperor sent a secret envoy with a gold imperial warrant to summon the military governor Huang Yungong to come to the Emperor’s rescue. Huang Yungong brought his forces, defeated Lin Xiupu — and then marched his army into the capital, trampled the imperial authority, and coerced the Emperor into abdicating.

Yunjing suffered a terrible catastrophe.

The two younger sisters vanished without a trace in the chaos of the palace upheaval. Noble Consort Chen hanged herself within the palace. And Anle — proud, proud Anle was seized by Huang Yungong’s second son. She could not bear the humiliation, and took her own life with a hairpin.

Who fared better than whom?

No one fared any better.

Noble Consort Chen, Anle — these women inside the high walls were still scheming against each other, fighting for the Emperor’s favor, unaware that these four high walls that confined them would not protect them.

Even if she managed to evade the marriage alliance now, what lay ahead? Nothing but unknown dangers.

By comparison, the grasslands and the desert wasteland — all of it was already familiar to her.

Xie Yuzhang’s eyes grew deep and distant.

That look frightened Lin Fei when she saw it.

“Elder Sister!” A child’s voice called out. “Elder Sister Baohua!”

Xie Yuzhang and Lin Fei turned to look. Two little girls, as lovely as snow-white jade, came walking hand in hand, a long train of palace attendants following behind them.

These two little girls were none other than the two younger sisters Xie Yuzhang had just been thinking of — the ones who had vanished without a trace during the palace upheaval. The older one was ten years old, bearing the title Fu Kang; the younger was only six, bearing the title Jia You.

Both of these young princesses had mothers of humble rank with little favor, and for years they had no titles at all. It was not until two years ago, when Fu Kang turned eight, that neither had yet been given a title.

It was Xie Yuzhang who had taken both younger sisters by the hand to see the Emperor, pulling at his sleeve and cajoling with playful affection: “My younger sister is already eight years old and still has no title — Father Emperor is so stingy!”

The Emperor had laughed heartily and with a wave of his hand bestowed both young princesses with titles and food stipends.

Their birth mothers had come together to thank Xie Yuzhang with a thousand words of gratitude.

Xie Yuzhang had thought nothing of it — she had only done it because the two younger sisters were so adorable and well-behaved and lovable that she doted on them greatly, and so she had spoken up on their behalf.

But from then on, Fu Kang and Jia You had both been extremely close to her.

Seeing them now, Xie Yuzhang was momentarily dazed.

Two little snow-jade bundles, their eyes carrying that crystalline brightness unique to small children, both tilting their heads up to look at her.

Fu Kang said, “Elder Sister, were you just going to pay your respects to Noble Consort Chen?”

Jia You said in a soft, babyish voice, “We were just on our way there too.”

Hearing that still-childish little voice, Xie Yuzhang’s eyes suddenly stung with tears — how many years had it been since she had last seen them?

From the time she left for the marriage alliance, she had never seen them again. When she returned, they were gone — no sign of them living, no trace of them dead.

Xie Yuzhang stepped forward and crouched down, pulling both of them into her arms at once!

Fu Kang and Jia You were startled out of their wits.

“Elder Sister?” Both of them opened their eyes wide, both at a loss for what to do.

Fu Kang was older and more sensible. She wrapped her arms around Xie Yuzhang and asked softly, “Did Noble Consort Chen scold Elder Sister?”

She comforted Xie Yuzhang like a little adult: “Elder Sister, don’t be sad. When Noble Consort Chen and Elder Sister Anle scold us, it’s for our own good. Let’s go back, reflect carefully on ourselves, copy out the Women’s Precepts twice, and then go apologize to Consort-Mother, and she and Elder Sister Anle won’t be angry anymore.”

Xie Yuzhang lifted her head and looked at this younger sister in stunned disbelief.

Her memory only held the image of little sisters who were adorable and well-behaved. While she herself had been carelessly enjoying everyone’s doting, these two younger ones — what kind of lives had they been living, to be able to say something so “sensible” as this?

She had never known.

She truly had not been a good elder sister.

“Elder Sister, don’t cry.” Six-year-old Jia You frantically blew at her face with little puffs of breath. “Don’t cry, don’t cry.”

That voice still carried the soft sound of a baby, and she was still so small. Held in her arms, she was tiny and soft.

Xie Yuzhang felt her heart aching unbearably, and felt something in the depths of her abdomen begin to twist and writhe with pain. Cold sweat broke out across her brow. The world before her eyes grew dark.

“Your Highness?” Lin Fei saw Xie Yuzhang’s face suddenly drain to the color of gold paper. She came over and grabbed Xie Yuzhang’s arm. “Your Highness, what is wrong?”

Xie Yuzhang pulled herself free from the vision.

She released Fu Kang and Jia You and pressed her hand against her abdomen, saying weakly, “It’s nothing. I only felt dizzy for a moment.”

She was still healthy right now, the Xie Yuzhang whose body had not yet suffered any harm…

Lin Fei noticed the hand Xie Yuzhang was pressing against her own abdomen and asked with concern, “Is your stomach unwell? Did you drink too much of that iced beverage?”

Xie Yuzhang gave a weak smile and did not deny it.

Fu Kang and the palace attendants behind her all let out a breath of relief.

“Since Elder Sister is feeling unwell, please go back and rest right away. It would be best to have an Imperial Physician come to take your pulse,” she said.

Such a young age, and already so capable of looking after people. Was it because she had been living together with the even younger Jia You?

Xie Yuzhang stroked Fu Kang’s unblemished snow-white cheek and said, “Alright.”

“Then we and Jia You are going to pay our respects to Consort-Mother. Elder Sister, go back quickly.” Fu Kang took Jia You’s hand and urged Xie Yuzhang along.

Xie Yuzhang watched the two tiny figures make their way toward Noble Consort Chen’s sleeping quarters and stood for a long time, unable to come back to herself.

Her appearance of someone trapped under a dark spell frightened Lin Fei.

“Your Highness…” she shook her gently. “Zhuzhu!”

Zhuzhu was Xie Yuzhang’s childhood pet name. But since the Empress had passed, few people called her that anymore.

Even the Emperor addressed her as “Baohua” far more often.

Xie Yuzhang turned to look at her. Those eyes were dark and deep, as though two black flames were burning within them, burning so intensely that Lin Fei’s heart leaped with fright.

“A’Fei, I am fine.” Xie Yuzhang said. “Come. Let us go visit Crown Prince Elder Brother.”

She finished speaking and turned to walk in another direction — the direction of the Crown Prince’s Eastern Palace.

Lin Fei could only grab hold of Xie Yuzhang helplessly. “At this hour, the Crown Prince is certainly with the Emperor.”

Xie Yuzhang paused and lowered her eyes. “You are right. I was muddled.”

Crown Prince Elder Brother was still the Crown Prince at this time. He spent his mornings at the Emperor’s side learning to handle state affairs, and his afternoons attending lessons. He was busy and diligent right now — nothing like the way he would later live as the heir of Marquis Xiaoyao, drinking his life away, dreaming through one day after the next.

Lin Fei thought for a moment and said, “It would still be good to first go see the Crown Princess. We can sit a while, and the Crown Prince will return to the Eastern Palace at noon anyway.”

If the Crown Prince were one day to ascend to the throne, the Crown Princess would become the next Empress, and Lin Fei naturally wanted to help her sister-in-law relationship with Xie Yuzhang go smoothly.

At the mention of the Crown Princess, Xie Yuzhang’s gaze dimmed. She lowered her head. “Alright.”

The inner palace was quite a distance from the Eastern Palace, so Lin Fei had a palanquin brought and accompanied Xie Yuzhang to the Eastern Palace.

Crown Princess Yu came out to receive them, laughing as she took Xie Yuzhang’s hand and led her inside. “I was saying I would go visit you today, but here you’ve come to me first. Are you feeling any better?”

Crown Princess Yu’s smile was far more sincere than Princess Anle’s. She and Xie Yuzhang had no conflict of interests, and Xie Yuzhang was the legitimate daughter of the late Empress — if she was willing to be close to the Crown Prince, Crown Princess Yu could only be glad, and there was nothing she would not welcome.

Moreover, Xie Yuzhang was not the sort of willful little sister-in-law who gave people trouble. Though she was somewhat pampered, she was respectful toward her elder brother and sister-in-law, and had never caused them a moment’s difficulty.

Crown Princess Yu genuinely liked Xie Yuzhang.

Xie Yuzhang clasped Crown Princess Yu’s hand in return and said with a touch of shyness, “It really wasn’t anything serious — I was just too timid for my own good. I have caused Elder Sister-in-law to worry.”

Crown Princess Yu studied her eyes and brow and said, “Your color actually looks quite good. Why do you seem so lacking in spirits? It must be from being shut indoors these past few days and feeling stifled.”

Xie Yuzhang gazed at this sister-in-law of hers.

How lovely she looked right now — her skin lustrous, her cheeks full and rosy.

Later, in the Marquis Xiaoyao manor, they would sit together eating vegetarian meals, copying sutras, facing each other in silence. Often going an entire day without speaking, she had aged with frightening speed.

Xie Yuzhang’s nose stung with an oncoming ache, and she suddenly clasped Crown Princess Yu’s arm and called out softly, “Elder Sister-in-law…”

Crown Princess Yu was mildly surprised. She patted Xie Yuzhang’s head and laughed. “What is this? Who has been making our Baohua suffer?” And she looked over at Lin Fei.

Lin Fei naturally could not tell the truth, and said vaguely, “The Princess has been troubled in her sleep since the nightmare. She has been overthinking these past few days. We just went to pay our respects to Noble Consort Chen.”

Crown Princess Yu raised an eyebrow.

She had a full-featured face and graceful brows and eyes, and was privately praised by many as having “the bearing of one destined for the central palace.” For this very reason, Noble Consort Chen, whose looks were of a more seductive kind but who could not attain the position of Empress, found her genuinely disagreeable and had given her no small amount of trouble over the years.

Moreover, the Emperor had no legitimate sons, so the Crown Prince had been chosen from among the eldest. But the Emperor’s eldest son had died of a sudden illness, and so the next eldest among the remaining sons was chosen. The Crown Prince was therefore neither legitimate nor the eldest. His birth mother held the lowest rank among the four consorts, and he was considered somewhat bookish and weak — characteristics that did not inspire wholehearted respect from his brothers.

Noble Consort Chen also had a son, and though he was younger, the Emperor was still in his prime — so there were inevitably certain aspirations stirring in her heart. From time to time she would whisper into the Emperor’s ear and find fault with the Crown Prince and Crown Princess.

Mentioning this step-mother-in-law, Crown Princess Yu had not half a shred of goodwill for her.

Lin Fei understood this perfectly, which was why she had spoken in vague terms.

Crown Princess Yu, as expected, misunderstood, and patting Xie Yuzhang’s hand, said, “Elders get naggy as they age. When they say a word or two, we just listen. There’s no need to take it to heart.”

Had Lin Fei not been preoccupied with the matter of the marriage alliance, she would nearly have burst out laughing at these words and thought the Crown Princess a thoroughly delightful person.

Noble Consort Chen’s own daughter was already grown, yet Noble Consort Chen loved to play the part of the tender young woman — the clothes she wore were often more vivid and girlish than Princess Anle’s, which was quite a spectacle of the inner palace in its own right.

Xie Yuzhang knew that she had behaved improperly just now. She made a sound of acknowledgment, reined in her emotions, and followed Crown Princess Yu into the inner chambers. The two sisters-in-law talked about the weather and food; Xie Yuzhang asked after her elder brother and sister-in-law’s health, her manner earnest, her gaze conveying genuine concern that was not merely polite or perfunctory — something that surprised Crown Princess Yu considerably.

She felt that this little sister-in-law had, through a few days of illness, suddenly grown up, which was quite heartening.

When the sun reached the top of the sky, the Crown Prince returned to the palace.

The Crown Prince, too, smiled the moment he saw Xie Yuzhang — it seemed as though everyone in this palace behaved this way upon seeing her.

“Are you fully recovered?” The Crown Prince asked, and then patted Xie Yuzhang’s head.

Xie Yuzhang felt quite uncomfortable with this. But she was right now only a young girl who had not yet come of age, and the Crown Prince was making what seemed a deliberate gesture of closeness toward her, so she bore it and accepted it.

Crown Princess Yu understood that Xie Yuzhang, newly recovered from illness, had rushed over — she must have something to say to her husband. She laughed and said, “You two siblings talk first. I’ll go check on how the midday meal is coming along. Baohua will stay for the meal.”

The Crown Prince said, “Be quick about it. There are matters this afternoon.”

Crown Princess Yu agreed and went.

The moment Crown Princess Yu left, Xie Yuzhang got straight to the point and asked directly, “Crown Prince Elder Brother, the Mobei Khanate has sent an envoy delegation, hasn’t it?”

The Crown Prince laughed and said, “Your news is certainly timely. Just before I returned, word came that they should be entering the city this afternoon. Father Emperor excused me from this afternoon’s lessons and has asked me and the Fifth Prince to go outside the city gates with the Bureau of Foreign Affairs to receive them.”

Xie Yuzhang asked, “Crown Prince Elder Brother, has the Mobei Khanate come this time to seek a marriage alliance?”

The smile on the Crown Prince’s face froze.