As autumn settled in, the days grew shorter. By no later than the hour of You in the evening, the sky in the northwest had gone dark.

Xie Changgeng was returning from outside. He passed through Jiaocheng on his way back to Guzang. Seeing the gate official come running to receive him, he hesitated and slowed his pace, stopping at the city gate. He leaned forward slightly and asked the official in a low voice, “Has the Lady returned?”

The gate official replied, “My Lord, the Lady has not returned in all the days you have been away.”

Xie Changgeng said nothing more. He sat straight, spurred his horse into the city, and returned to the Lord Commissioner’s residence.

The household steward had left on personal leave the previous month and had not yet come back. Xie Changgeng went inside and saw the caretaker woman come hurrying over, bobbing in a bow, hemming and hawing as she said, “My Lord — the child has been ill these past few days, running a fever…”

Xie Changgeng gave a start and halted. “Did you call a physician?”

“Yes, yes,” the woman said hastily. “The best physician in the city has already been called. It’s just that even after taking the medicine, he shows no improvement…”

Xie Changgeng paused. “Take me to him!”

The woman led the way, bringing Xie Changgeng to a small courtyard at the rear of the residence.

The Lord Commissioner had returned over a month ago, and upon returning had brought a small child with him. The child’s clothing was disheveled and his little face and hands were covered in grime. At the time, the steward was still in residence; the Lord Commissioner had said nothing about who the child was — he simply handed the child over to the steward with orders to keep watch over him and prevent him from escaping.

The steward had cleaned out this small, independently enclosed courtyard and moved the child in, then arranged for this caretaker woman to attend to him and keep watch.

The room had a single dim oil lamp burning. Walking in, one caught at once the smell of urine. The caretaker woman also smelled it, and hastily rushed forward to take the chamber pot — which had gone two days without being emptied — and carried it out.

Xie Changgeng frowned, walked to the bedside, and saw the child lying on the pillow, eyes tightly closed, his cheeks sunken, his face blazing red with fever.

He bent down, pressed his palm against the child’s forehead — it was scalding to the touch — then patted the child’s face. The eyelids fluttered slightly and then went still. The child did not respond.

To look at the state of things, he appeared to be burning in and out of consciousness.

The image of Lady Mu’s eyes glaring at him fiercely rose in Xie Changgeng’s mind, and his heart gave a heavy lurch.

He straightened, turned, and asked the caretaker woman, “What happened?”

The woman, hearing the severity in his voice, did not dare breathe, and said in a small voice, “I don’t know… I was taking such good care of him after the steward left, and he just ended up like this on his own…”

As the woman was speaking, Xie Changgeng’s gaze had fallen upon the quilt on the bed.

The weather had changed sharply recently. During the day it was still fine, but at night the temperature plummeted. When Xie Changgeng had been out, even dressed in a single layer, he had felt the chill of night.

The quilt on the bed was extremely thin — plainly still the summer bedding from some time ago.

The woman, seeing him reach out and feel the quilt, became even more uneasy at heart.

When the child had been brought back, he had looked like a little beggar. The Lord Commissioner had handed him to the steward and said nothing at all — only ordering him to be watched and not allowed to escape. After that, Xie Changgeng himself had been busy from morning to night and had not asked after him once. The woman had not taken the matter particularly seriously in her heart either, remembering only the instruction to “watch him closely.”

While the steward was still there, things had gone reasonably well. But once the steward took his leave and the Lord Commissioner was rarely to be seen, the woman had gradually grown careless and lazy. To save herself trouble, she had begun locking the door from the outside except at the three daily mealtimes when she went in to bring food. As for the change in weather and the cold nights, she had given it no thought at all. It was not until two days ago, when she noticed the child was not eating much of his food — nearly everything sent in was left untouched — that she realized he had fallen ill. She hurriedly called in a physician to see him, but there was no improvement. Today he had even lost consciousness. Seeing that the Lord Commissioner had returned, she had rushed to report it.

“In weather like this, you still gave him bedding like this? How are you doing your job?”

Xie Changgeng reprimanded her sharply.

The woman was frightened to the core. She dropped to her knees with a thud, and feebly tried to explain: “My Lord, please calm your anger — you have not raised a child before, you don’t know… the old saying is, ‘Keep children cool in autumn and warm in spring’… children are supposed to be raised this way…”

Xie Changgeng flew into a rage. Before the woman had finished speaking, he kicked her aside, bent down, scooped the unconscious child from the bed, walked out of the dark room reeking of filth, and hastened to his own quarters. He laid the child on his bed, then called for all the physicians in the city to be summoned, commanding them to attend to the small figure lying on his bed.

The physicians arrived one after another. Seeing the Lord Commissioner’s dark expression, none dared be negligent. They took turns examining the child and, drawing on every bit of their combined skill, discussed the case at length and at last settled on a prescription.

The medicine was decocted and brought up; the child was still drifting in and out of consciousness. Xie Changgeng had someone prop him to a sitting position and fed the medicine broth to him one sip at a time, forcing it all down. He then ordered the physicians to spend the night in the Lord Commissioner’s residence and remain on call at any moment.

Xie Changgeng had a second bedroll laid out in the room and moved the business of his study inside the bedroom as well. Late at night, when the work was done, he rose to sleep and came to the bedside for a look.

The child lay sleeping, still deeply so, but the fevered redness on his face appeared to have receded somewhat, and his breathing, to listen to, was also more steady than it had been at dusk.

He reached out and felt the temperature — not as burning as before.

Xie Changgeng let out a slow breath of relief. He was just about to withdraw his hand when he saw the child’s eyelashes tremble faintly and his small body stir. A hand reached out and caught one of his fingers.

The hand was very small — soft, pliant, and a little warm with the lingering traces of fever.

Xie Changgeng paused for a moment, then slowly tried to ease his finger free. But the grip of that small hand was surprisingly strong, holding on tight, as if sensing his intention. The child’s body shifted with some unease, and a sound came through the child’s lips — half-crying, indistinct — calling out “Mother,” as though about to wake.

Xie Changgeng went immediately still, held his breath, waited for the child to grow quiet again, and finally, slowly, withdrew his hand.

That night, listening to the sound of the child’s breathing from the bed, Xie Changgeng felt suddenly adrift.

In the seventh month, he had flown into a rage on impulse and, consumed by a vicious thought, forcibly taken the child away from Liancheng. After setting out, not wishing to stir up further questions from his mother at home, he had bypassed Xie County and returned directly to Hexi.

When he first arrived, he had only been waiting for that woman to come chasing after him, so he could relieve himself of the foul breath pent up in his chest. So much time had passed by now, and the woman had still not arrived. It was on this very night that he suddenly felt himself to have been profoundly, thoroughly foolish. How could he ever have brought such a small child to his side like this — bringing pointless trouble upon himself for no reason?

The next morning, Xie Changgeng woke, and turned instinctively to look in the direction of the bed. He saw the child was already awake, lying on his stomach propped at the edge of the bed, a pair of eyes — still somewhat drowsy — looking back at him.

Their eyes met. The child appeared to be startled, and with a swift, wriggling motion, darted back under the covers and lay perfectly still, pretending to be asleep.

Xie Changgeng pretended not to have noticed and went about getting up.

He had matters to attend to during the day. He had the physician examine the child once more, then asked a subordinate’s wife to look after him. After a few days, the child’s illness gradually improved. Xie Changgeng happened to need to be away for a few more days, and knowing the woman had her own household to tend to, he simply brought the child along as well.

Hexi was renowned for its fine horses. Not far from Xiutu, below the Northern Mountain, lay a vast horse farm that bred tens of thousands of horses and belonged to the garrison. Since coming here, Xie Changgeng had expanded the cavalry and had always been attentive to horse affairs, often overseeing them personally. This trip, the first place he needed to go was the horse farm.

He brought Xi’er to the horse farm and entrusted him to a horse groom. In the evening, after completing his inspection of the farm, he asked after the child he had brought, was told he was in the stables, and went to find him.

He walked to just outside the stables and heard a burst of a child’s happy laughter coming from inside.

Xie Changgeng looked up and saw the child standing with his back to him beside a foal only a few months old, holding a handful of feed and offering it. The foal was greedy, finished eating, and still trailed after the child, reluctant to be parted. The child wrapped his arms around its neck and laughed with great delight.

Xi’er was playing happily with the little foal when he suddenly heard the groom’s voice greeting the Lord Commissioner. He turned his head, saw that man had arrived, standing right behind him, and slowly let go of his arms. The smile on his face disappeared.

The groom said, “My Lord, I saw the young lord had nothing to do, so I brought him here. Please do not fault me.”

Xie Changgeng gave a nod, and in the silence of the child’s gaze, walked forward to stand in front of the child. He bent down and asked, “You like it?”

Xi’er hesitated, and still said nothing.

Xie Changgeng slowly stood up straight and said, “It was born a month early. Others its age are already bigger than it. When it grows up, if it cannot become a qualified warhorse, keeping it would only waste fodder.”

He drew his sword and walked toward the foal.

“Don’t!”

Xi’er shouted and rushed forward, spreading both arms wide to shield the small foal behind his back. He tilted up his face, looking tensely at Xie Changgeng.

“Don’t kill it — please! I can eat a little less, and share my food with it!”

Xie Changgeng sheathed his sword, crouched down, and looked into the child’s eyes. “When you don’t speak, I have no way of knowing your thoughts, so I was going to kill it. Now that you’ve spoken up and I know your thoughts, I can agree. Not only agree — I’ll give it to you.”

Xi’er’s eyes slowly lit up with joy. He turned and wrapped his arms around the little foal, then hesitated, looked at Xie Changgeng, and said quietly, “Thank you for not killing it.”

“When it grows up, it will definitely become a warhorse!”

He added another sentence.

This was the first time, after all this while, that the child had spoken to him.

He was not mute; he had only been unwilling to open his mouth and speak to Xie Changgeng before. Without even asking, it was plain that Lady Mu must have said something to the child.

At this moment, Xie Changgeng felt the breath of resentment that had been pent up and knotted in his chest all this time — as if some of it had at last finally come loose.

He gave a quiet sound of acknowledgment, turned, and walked away.

That night he stayed at the horse farm, sharing a room with Xi’er.

The child played with the little foal until very late before coming back. Xie Changgeng, still in the room, could hear the child’s laughter from outside. By the time he had played his fill and finally made his way back, his face and hands were covered in mud and grass. Xie Changgeng had water brought, and said, “Wash your own face and feet! Then wash up and go to sleep!”

Xi’er gave a sound of assent, washed in a cursory fashion — leaving several muddy streaks still on his hands — climbed onto the bed, and lay down.

Xie Changgeng paid it no mind. The night grew deep. He sat at the lamp reading through official documents. The child lay on the bed.

From the corner of his eye, as he reviewed his documents, he occasionally noticed the child drifting in and out of drowsiness — seemingly watching him covertly, only to shut his eyes quickly whenever Xie Changgeng looked over.

This repeated several times. Xie Changgeng snapped the document closed.

“You’re not sleeping yet. What are you looking at?”

Xi’er squeezed his eyes firmly shut, lashes quivering rapidly. After a moment, apparently sensing he could not keep up the pretense, he opened his eyes and said in a small voice, “I can’t sleep.”

“Why not?”

“I miss my mother…” Xi’er said, biting his lip and speaking softly.

“Can you let me go back?”

He crawled up from the bed and lifted his face to look at Xie Changgeng.

Xie Changgeng had been about to say: she won’t abandon you, she’ll come sooner or later. But the words reached the edge of his lips, his gaze fell on the child’s beautiful brows and eyes, and his heart hardened again all at once. He gave a snort.

“Beyond the horse farm is nothing but barren hills and wild land — and there are wolves out there. If you dare to sneak off, by the time your mother comes, you won’t be here to see her.”

“Sleep!”

He took the quilt and threw it over Xi’er’s head. He blew out the lamp and lay down on the outer edge of the bed.

From the other side came a spell of squirming about, as though a little caterpillar had suddenly appeared. After a while, it finally went quiet.

Xie Changgeng had just closed his eyes when a voice came from under the quilt: “I won’t run away. I want to ask you one more thing — when my mother comes to find me, can you be a little kinder to her? Don’t bully her.”

Xie Changgeng was startled. The image of that face — which had never once shown him a kind expression — rose in his mind. He said nothing.

Under the quilt, the little person started moving again.

“You said before that once I open my mouth and speak, you’ll know what I’m thinking. Please don’t bully my mother. I can help you do things in return.”

“I can do lots of things. Really!”

Xie Changgeng felt a wave of irritation wash over him. Through the quilt, he raised his arm and pressed it down, pinning the child firmly to the bed, and said coldly, “Go to sleep!”

The child, held down by him, made a last few struggles, and apparently sensing his displeasure, said nothing more.

Playing with the little foal had used up the child’s energy. Now that things had gone quiet, the child fell asleep very quickly.

The next morning, Xie Changgeng woke.

Perhaps it had been cold in the night — the child had crept close beside him and was still fast asleep.

He carefully got up, tucked the quilt over the child, walked out, and before he left, called the horse farm steward over and told him he was going to Xiutu. For these next few days, the steward was to look after the child in his place.

“Make sure you look after him well for me. If anything goes wrong, I will hold you responsible!”

The steward nodded, giving assurance after assurance.

——

Guzang was now in sight ahead.

Delayed by mishap upon mishap on the road, she had at last arrived. The moment she entered the city, Mu Fulan went directly to the Lord Commissioner’s residence.

The gateman saw her party arrive suddenly, surprised and overjoyed, and immediately swung the gates open wide to receive her.

Mu Fulan’s first words were to ask after Xi’er. Seeing the gateman draw a blank, she said, “A boy child! When the Lord Commissioner came back earlier — was he not accompanied by a boy child?”

The gateman finally understood and nodded eagerly. “Yes, yes! There was indeed a child!”

“Where is he? Is he in the residence?” Mu Fulan said, and quickened her pace inside.

“Unfortunately, just a few days ago, he was taken to Xiutu by the Lord Commissioner.”

Mu Fulan halted in her steps, steadied herself, and without a single word, turned and immediately ran back out.

The carriage she had traveled in completed the drive along the road cut through the open wilderness and finally arrived at Xiutu. The night was already deep and the city gates long since shut.

The carriage stopped outside the city gate. She looked at the tall city wall before her, its outline carved by the heavy darkness, and told her attendant to go knock on the gate and call out.

A moment later, the city gate opened. The gate official came hurrying out, bowing. “Why has the Lady come at this late hour? Please come in quickly.”

“Where is the Lord Commissioner? Is he here?”

“He is, he is! He arrived just a few days ago! I will take you to him at once!”

The gate official guided the carriage into the city.

Xiutu was a military garrison town, with no civilian residents. On both sides of the straight road leading in from the city gate, row upon row of barracks stretched out in lines. At the end of the road, turning right, not far ahead stood a four-sided building with a tall, imposing gate — this was the Xiutu yamen, where Xie Changgeng was.

The gate official knocked and reported. The gate opened. As Mu Fulan stepped down from the carriage, she felt as though every bone in her body might fall to pieces.

She steadied herself against the carriage body, stood firm, and walked inside.

A man who looked to be the household steward came out to receive her, led her to a room, and said that the Lord Commissioner was currently in conference with General Liu and the others, and asked her to rest first.

After the steward left, Mu Fulan waited in the room. She waited until deep into the night and still Xie Changgeng did not appear. Unable to contain herself any longer, she opened the door and walked out. She asked a soldier on night watch where Xie Changgeng and the others were holding their conference, followed the directions, and found her way there.

Candlelight still glimmered through the window paper.

She asked the soldier on watch and learned that General Liu and the others had already left long ago. She rushed to the front at once, bounded up the steps, flung the door open with both hands, and saw a solitary figure seated behind the desk, brush in hand, candle flame at his table casting his dark silhouette onto the decorated screen painted with a tiger roaring atop a high ridge behind him — still and heavy as a painting.

It was Xie Changgeng.

He glanced up, eyes flicking toward the door, then — as though he had not seen her at all — reached out, dipped his brush in ink, bowed his head, and continued writing his document.

Mu Fulan, seeing him still composed and unconcerned, felt the fury in her chest seethe and boil all the more violently. She strode inside directly, went straight up to stand before him, suppressed with great effort the impulse to draw a sword and run a transparent hole through him, and demanded: “Where is my Xi’er? Where is he?”