The estate owner Tian was hauled out of his bedding by Magistrate Song — pale as a sheet, drenched in cold sweat. “Song — Magistrate Song, Hua — Hua Hua Hua Fourth Young Master — what do you want, barging into my home in the dead of night?!”

Hua Yitang fanned himself and looked the estate owner Tian up and down, then smiled.

Estate owner Tian was wearing nothing but a thin inner garment that made his skeletal frame look all the more gaunt. His hair was damp, his feet were bare, and his outer clothes and shoes were nowhere to be seen.

Jin Ruo imitated Hua Yitang’s posture, hands clasped behind his back, and paced with the same measured, vigorous four-square step. He walked a circle around the estate owner Tian first, then leaned in and sniffed. He smiled. “Foot length: four cun three fen two li. Height: five chi six cun three. Body weight: ninety-eight jin and five liang. Although he’s changed his clothes and washed his hands, feet, and hair, the smell of Fuogu powder still clings to him.” He stepped back one pace, pointed squarely ahead, and struck the exact same smug pose as Hua Yitang. “The thief who broke into the Hua residence storeroom tonight and stole the Yue Kiln vase — is you!”

The estate owner Tian collapsed to his knees with a thud and roared at the top of his lungs, “This is a grave injustice! I have been at home sleeping all evening and never set foot outside. Every servant in my household can testify — I beg Magistrate Song to investigate with clear eyes!”

Magistrate Song was somewhat uneasy. “Fourth Young Master Hua — this estate owner Tian has lived in Yicheng for nearly thirty years. He has always been an honest, decent, law-abiding man. Could you be mistaken?”

Hua Yitang nodded. “Magistrate Song makes a fair point. As they say, to catch a villain you must catch him in the act; to convict a thief you must have stolen goods in hand. Without evidence, one cannot truly decide the case.”

“Evidence? Simple!” Jin Ruo shoved the estate owner Tian to one side, crouched down to look under the bed, knocked on the floor, and pointed. “There is a hidden room beneath this.”

The estate owner Tian’s complexion changed drastically. Magistrate Song was thunderstruck. “Men — move the bed at once —”

“Stand aside.” Lin Sui’an grabbed the edge of the bed with one hand, gave a great heave, and flung the entire red sandalwood bed to the side. Magistrate Song’s jaw dropped to the floor.

Jin Ruo tested the floor tiles, felt along the base of the walls in a full circuit, and glanced at the estate owner Tian. “Where is the mechanism?”

The estate owner Tian stiffened his neck. “What mechanism? What hidden room? I don’t know what you’re talking about! Don’t slander me with baseless accusations!”

Jin Ruo sighed. “Shifu, I’ll trouble you.”

Lin Sui’an rolled her eyes, drew Qian Jing — a flash of green light, and the blade was sheathed again. Two thin lines crossed in an X appeared on the floor tiles. Jin Ruo pressed his foot down on them without ceremony. With a clunk and a clatter, the floor collapsed inward, revealing a square passage three chi across.

Dead silence fell over the room.

The estate owner Tian swayed and crumpled to the ground in a heap. Magistrate Song’s eyes nearly fell out of their sockets.

Hua Yitang snapped his fan shut and smiled sincerely. “Magistrate Song — shall we?”

Lin Sui’an never could have imagined that a perfectly ordinary estate owner in Yicheng would have built such a vast hidden chamber underground.

Descending from the entrance, they followed a spiral staircase for a full quarter of an hour before Jin Ruo opened two more concealed doors, and the true interior of the hidden chamber was finally revealed.

It stretched at least two hundred square feet, crammed with shelves of antiques, row upon row. The shelves nearest the entrance were lined with rusted bronze items — ritual cauldrons, bells, short swords, human figurines, horse sculptures, dolls, belt buckles, sword scabbards… The further in they went, the brighter and more vivid the colors became, with gold items predominating: bowls, chopsticks, hairpins, headdresses, hair ornaments. Beyond those were all manner of jade objects — jade sword hilts, jade pendants, jade rings, jade discs, jade bracelets, jade chains. The very last shelf was nearly empty, holding only two pieces: a three-color glazed ceramic horse and the Yue Kiln celadon double-handled vase with entwined-branch ice-flower motif that had been stolen that very night.

Hua Yitang stood before the Yue Kiln vase and tapped it with his fan, clicking his tongue. “It seems estate owner Tian is quite fond of this vase. Oh my — if you had simply told me earlier, I would have given it to you as a gift. What was the need to steal it?”

The kneeling estate owner Tian’s body gave a violent tremor. The look he shot at Hua Yitang was sharp enough to launch daggers.

Magistrate Song’s mouth hung open the entire time. “These — all of these are stolen goods?! This many?! I’ve never heard of anyone in Yicheng losing so many treasures!”

“Apart from the Yue Kiln vase, everything else was stolen from the grave goods of the deceased,” Hua Yitang said. “This estate owner Tian’s original occupation was that of a Yinsi grave-robber, skilled at tunneling and capable of moving freely underground. It is understandable that Magistrate Song and the constables were unable to catch him.”

Magistrate Song’s hair bristled with rage. “Tian Chenggui, will you still not confess?!”

Tian Guicheng laughed coldly. “I am indeed a Yinsi grave-robber. What I stole were burial goods from ownerless tombs. These treasures lay buried underground, never seeing the light of day — pure waste. I merely returned them to the world of the living. What wrong have I done?!”

Hua Yitang: “Then I am rather curious — why would a Yinsi grave-robber steal a vase from my residence? Can it be that you consider the people in my Hua estate to be the dead?”

Tian Guicheng spoke with righteous conviction: “The Hua Family leaves these priceless Yue Kiln wares sitting out in the open, exposed to wind and sun — that is an equal waste. I merely could not bear to see them so carelessly treated. Furthermore, the Hua Family’s wealth rivals that of a nation. I merely took one vase from you — why must you be so petty about it?”

Magistrate Song flushed iron-gray with fury. “Outrageous — a thief who thinks he’s in the right?!”

Tian Guicheng rolled his eyes and didn’t give Magistrate Song so much as a glance.

Jin Ruo came back from poking around the hidden chamber, looking puzzled. “No sign of that belly band, dog bowl, chamber pot, or any of that miscellaneous junk — and the Hua fellow’s gauze robe isn’t here either. No other hidden rooms, either.”

Hua Yitang’s eye twitched sharply.

Magistrate Song: “Where are the other things you stole? Out with it, quickly!”

Tian Guicheng let out a contemptuous snort and struck a pose that said, “I won’t say a word — what can you do to me?”

“How utterly unreasonable!” Magistrate Song shouted. “Men — take Tian Guicheng to the jail and interrogate him by force —”

“Magistrate Song, please wait — I believe this man makes a fair point.” Hua Yitang raised an eyebrow.

Magistrate Song: “What?”

Jin Ruo sidled closer to Lin Sui’an. “What is the Hua fellow up to?”

Lin Sui’an: “We should step away.”

Hua Yitang tilted his head and looked at Tian Guicheng. The corner of his mouth slowly curved upward. “I happen to know an accomplished monk of great virtue who is particularly skilled at exorcising evil and subduing demons. I could have every burial item in this room sent to him, with sutras chanted for forty-nine days to purge the ill-omened aura — and then have the lot thrown into a furnace and melted down. The bronze items will be recast as farming tools, the gold items melted into gold ingots, and the proceeds distributed among the destitute people of Yicheng to help them make ends meet.”

Tian Guicheng’s eyes nearly burst from their sockets. “Hua the Fourth — have you lost your mind?! These are priceless treasures!”

“And what of it?” Hua Yitang produced a handkerchief to wrap around a piece of jade and turned it slowly in his hand. “At present, they can only hide in this lightless underground chamber, their sole purpose being to one day be sold for the eating and drinking pleasures of a shameless grave-robber. That is the true waste.” With that, he hurled the piece of jade hard to the ground. It shattered into four pieces.

Jin Ruo clutched his chest. “Oh no oh no oh no — how much was that piece of jade worth?!”

Lin Sui’an nearly fainted: You, you ruinous spendthrift — in her era, these were national cultural relics!

Tian Guicheng’s eyes went bloodshot. He shrieked and lunged forward, only to be dragged back by the constables. “Those are mine! My treasures! Don’t you dare touch them!”

“Oh my, I’m so sorry.” Hua Yitang picked up a jade ring. “Then again — everything here was stolen, and it cost you not a single coin. I merely let a few pieces slip from my hands — why must you be so petty about it?” He raised his arm as if to smash it down again.

No —!

Lin Sui’an darted forward and grabbed Hua Yitang’s elbow. At almost the exact same moment, Tian Guicheng’s voice rang out, “I didn’t steal them!”

Hua Yitang: “Oh?”

Tian Guicheng was in tears. “Don’t smash them! I’ll confess! I retired from grave-robbing twenty years ago — I haven’t been a Yinsi man since. Everything in this chamber I scraped together by honest toil from sunrise to sunset. Last month, I lost my water pouch and was greatly distressed, so I went to investigate quietly on my own. I accidentally caught sight of the Hua residence’s wealth, and a moment of greed took hold of me. So I made use of a dry well and secretly dug a tunnel. As luck would have it, today the Hua residence received a calling card from Yun Zhong Yue, and I thought to seize the opportunity to pull one last job… I truly am not Yun Zhong Yue! The things belonging to those several estate owners truly were not stolen by me!”

Hua Yitang’s brow snapped together. “And my Lingwan Mirror gauze robe?!”

“What gauze robe? I never even laid eyes on it!” Tian Guicheng wept. “It must have been the real Yun Zhong Yue who took it!”

Just then, Lin Sui’an noticed that one of the constables standing behind Magistrate Song suddenly lurched sideways, as though he had thrown out his back. Something clicked in Lin Sui’an’s mind. She shot forward like the wind, and the blade of her sword scabbard was at that constable’s throat.

The constable was short and squat, with two eyebrows drooping like the character “eight” over his eyelids, but his eyes were darting around in rapid, slippery circles. Jin Ruo quickly checked the footprints beneath this person’s feet and broke into a grin. “Shallow, thin impressions — toeprints present but no heelprints — body weight one hundred and twenty-two jin. Yun Zhong Yue, you haven’t been eating well lately. You’ve lost weight.”

The drooping-eyebrow figure let out a sigh, extended his arms forward, and with a series of cracks, his whole body rose taller, his spine straightened and his limbs grew long. The constables around him erupted in shocked cries and stumbled back in a panic. Magistrate Song sat down hard on the ground. “A monster!”

Hua Yitang shoved through the crowd, fan in hand, face puffed with indignation. “Yun — Zhong — Yue!”

Yun Zhong Yue smiled. Paired with those drooping “eight”-shaped brows, it looked rather comical. “I merely wanted to see what this impostor looked like. Who would have thought that even the great Hua Family’s Fourth Young Master could be played for a fool — truly a disappointment.”

Lin Sui’an flicked her wrist. The green light of Qian Jing grazed the carotid artery on Yun Zhong Yue’s neck in a thin arc. Yun Zhong Yue showed not the slightest fear. His jet-black pupils, clear and deep, fixed upon her steadily. “It wasn’t me.”

That gaze was so earnest and lucid that Lin Sui’an’s heart gave a sudden thump.

Hua Yitang narrowed his eyes. “Are there perhaps three thieves?”

The hour of Yinzheng, second quarter — the Hua Family’s Two Hundred and Fifty Manor, main hall.

Hua Yitang hugged his sleeves, frowning at the floor plan of the Hua residence on the table, lost in thought.

Jin Ruo had gone back out to circle the courtyard several more times, but to no avail — all the tracks had been trampled to mush, and the third thief’s footprints could no longer be identified. He came back in frustration, converting his anguish into appetite, and proceeded to cram white sugar cakes into his mouth at a furious pace.

Lin Sui’an yawned and cast a sidelong glance at Yun Zhong Yue in the seat beside her.

Yun Zhong Yue, still wearing that drooping-eyebrow face, had made himself perfectly at home — sipping tea, eating pastries, and lavishing praise on Yita’s tea-brewing skills, which earned him two vigorous eye-rolls from Yita.

Magistrate Song sat across from Yun Zhong Yue, looking left and right, clicking his tongue in wonder. “Worthy of the title of the world’s greatest thief — that face is the spitting image of old Wang the Ninth.”

Yun Zhong Yue: “You flatter me.”

“Ah!” Magistrate Song suddenly realized something. “Speaking of Wang the Ninth — where is he? Surely he hasn’t already been k—”

“Yun Zhong Yue only steals things, never kills people,” Jin Ruo said, chipmunk cheeks bulging. “That Wang the Ninth is probably sleeping in some corner somewhere.”

Yun Zhong Yue smiled. “He who truly knows me — is Young Sect Master Jin!”

“Get lost!”

“Little Jin Ruo, I’ve been in this trade several years longer than you — you should address me as your senior.”

“I spit on you!”

Lin Sui’an pressed a hand to her forehead: One — the world’s greatest thief. The other — the future leader of the world’s greatest sect. And they argue at the level of kindergarteners.

“I see now,” said Hua Yitang, tracing the Hua residence floor plan. “At the third quarter of the hour of Zi, Jin Ruo spotted Yun Zhong Yue on the roof and chased him from the storeroom all the way to the front hall. Every guard in the residence also followed in pursuit, leaving the storeroom and the side chamber holding the garments with practically no one defending them. It was at this moment that Tian Guicheng went to the storeroom to steal the vase. When Jin Ruo came back, he ran straight into Tian Guicheng — but unfortunately the man slipped away.”

“And in actual fact, another thief arrived at the Hua residence during that same window of time. His target was the side chamber. The side chamber is in the opposite direction from the storeroom — in other words, with Yun Zhong Yue and Tian Guicheng as a distraction, the thief went to steal from the side chamber as though walking into an unguarded house, moving completely without obstruction.”

“A tall tree attracts the wind,” Yun Zhong Yue remarked, producing a bronze mirror and touching up his sideburns and black powder, sneering lightly. “The Hua Family flaunts its wealth so openly — naturally it invites a nest of thieves. Hua the Fourth, take a word of advice from me: in life, it is better to keep a lower profile.”

“It’s all your fault! If you hadn’t come and stirred up trouble, how could a small-time thief have possibly gotten away with it?” Jin Ruo flung a white sugar cake. Yun Zhong Yue reached out and caught it, bit into it, and pulled a face. “Too sweet.”

“Spit it out!”

Lin Sui’an truly couldn’t bear to watch. She moved to sit across from Hua Yitang and studied the floor plan for a moment. “Yita’s choice of the side chamber’s location is excellent — an independent courtyard, with a flower garden in front and a pond at the back, in a secluded position. Unless you are extremely familiar with the Hua residence’s layout, it would be very difficult to find. Could it be —” Lin Sui’an lowered her voice — “an inside job?”

Hua Yitang’s fan tapped the table — click, click, click. “Mu Xia, bring me a list of every servant, maid, and guard in the Hua Family’s Two Hundred and Fifty Manor —”

“Save your time — it’s an outside job.” Yun Zhong Yue flicked his wrist, put away the small mirror and powder puff, and leaned over. His fingertip darted quickly across several positions on the map — the rear gate, kitchen, vegetable cellar, water room, garden, and privy — tapping each one. “These spots all have reconnaissance markers left by a thief — noting directions, routes, patrol times of the guards, and so on.”

Lin Sui’an was stunned. Hua Yitang was taken aback. “How do you know that?”

Yun Zhong Yue picked at his teeth with his tongue. “I ate too much tonight and was strolling around the garden to aid digestion — I saw them then.”

Lin Sui’an: “……”

Had this thief treated the Hua residence as his own home? Strolling around?!

The veins in Hua Yitang’s temples pulsed. His grip on the fan was white-knuckled, the wood creaking under the pressure. He swallowed his fury with great effort. “Take us to see them.”

Yun Zhong Yue grinned, showing his teeth. “Right away!”

Side Story

Fangke jolted awake, glanced at the glass jar beside him — in the moonlight, the preserved organs inside gleamed with an oily sheen. Reassured, he collapsed back down and resumed sleeping.