“This Palace was wrong. From now on, I will only wait for you in the same spot.”
“Xuan Xixi, being your Crown Princess is such happiness.”
“Then be this Palace’s Crown Princess forever. Never leave this Palace.”
“Alright.”
“You have promised this Palace. If you cannot keep it, this Palace will not forgive you.”
“Ah.” The man suddenly released the snowball, clutching his head as he curled up on the ground.
The dagger pressed against his cheek. Prince Xuan flinched in fright, carefully crouching down. “It is Father Emperor’s fault. Father Emperor should have dealt with the Pei family long ago. It is all Father Emperor’s fault.”
Xuan Yanyu’s ears were ringing. A memory flashed unbidden through his mind — “Ningning, will you take this Palace home with you?”
“Ningning, don’t abandon this Palace. Take this Palace home with you.”
“Alright, I’ll take you home.” The girl’s eyes curved with a smile as she agreed.
“Yan Yunning!” The man raised his head, gazing at the small young woman sleeping so peacefully, his trembling voice full of questions. “Why did you leave this Palace behind? Why did you deceive this Palace? Why did you slip away on your own? Why? Why?”
“Yuner.” Prince Xuan seized the moment while his son was distracted, smoothly wresting the dagger from his grip.
“Father.” His gaze fell upon Prince Xuan. Xuan Yanyu seemed to find his anchor at last. “She deceived Your Son… she deceived Your Son…”
The man’s voice grew gradually weaker, and he slowly leaned against Prince Xuan’s shoulder.
“Your Majesty, the decree to postpone the enthronement ceremony has already been issued,” Eunuch Feng said, tossing the incense bundle into the bamboo basket.
“Mm.” Prince Xuan patted Xuan Yanyu’s back with tender affection, his gaze drifting toward Yan Yunning lying upon the bed. Words trembled between his lips for a long while before he finally spoke. “See that the Crown Princess is settled. We will take Yuner back to Prince Xuan’s Palace.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
——
When Xuan Yanyu opened his eyes again, two days had already passed. He shot upright abruptly, rubbing his aching chest, his eyes filled with anguish and despair.
“Yuner, you’re awake.” Princess Xuan pressed her fingers to Xuan Yanyu’s forehead with tearful eyes. “The fever is gone. Does your head still hurt?”
From the moment His Majesty had brought Yuner back to Prince Xuan’s Palace, he had fallen into a fever that very night — burning until he lost consciousness, his lips never ceasing their murmurs: that Ningning had abandoned him. Ningning had gone home. She no longer wanted him.
Her heart ached with a piercing pain as she listened.
“It’s alright,” the man said, closing his tired eyes.
“Yuner, will you eat something with Mother?” Princess Xuan coaxed him gently. “It has been so long since you last dined with Mother. Eat with me just this once today.”
“Mm.” Xuan Yanyu nodded, his voice hoarse. He threw off the brocade quilt and was just about to get out of bed when Ye Chen came walking into the chamber, carefully carrying two painted portraits. “Your Highness, please take a look.”
The man’s gaze fell upon the portraits. In one, a girl in magnificent robes was furiously pulling at his ear. In the other, he was gazing at the sulking girl with tender, soft eyes.
He seemed to see again his Ningning straightening her clothes, adjusting her hairpin. “Crown Prince, do I look beautiful?”
“Do I look beautiful? Do I?” The girl had leaned close, smiling brightly as she asked.
“Xuan Yanyu, I’ll take you home.”
“We’ll go home together.”
Then the girl’s smiling face suddenly twisted into a sneer. “Xuan Yanyu, I was only teasing you. Did you really believe me? How could I ever take you home? I won’t. I will never take you home. Never.”
“Take them away! Take them away!” Xuan Yanyu roared. The hand gripping the brocade quilt trembled violently.
“Xuan Yanyu, I will not take you home.”
“Will not take you home.”
“Take them away…” The man’s sob fell to a low murmur, his eyes brimming with aggrieved tears.
“Xuan Xixi, promise me — promise me you will be happy. Promise me you will be joyful…”
“Get out! Get out!”
“Yuner! Yuner!” Princess Xuan’s voice broke. She took Xuan Yanyu’s hands. “They are gone. They are gone. It’s alright. It’s alright. Mother had Ye Chen take them away.”
“Mother… Ningning doesn’t… doesn’t want Your Son anymore.” The helplessness in the man’s eyes pierced Princess Xuan to the core. She held back her own tears and said, “Mother and Father are still here. Mother and Father will never stop wanting Yuner.”
“Mother… Ningning has gone home. The one lying on that bed is not… is not Ningning.” Xuan Yanyu’s voice was so hoarse and choked it could not be contained.
Princess Xuan did not understand what he meant, but she followed his words nonetheless. “Alright. It is not Ningning. Ningning has gone home.”
“She promised Your Son she would take Your Son home. She broke her word.”
“She broke her word and did not even say a single word of farewell to Your Son…”
“If she had told Your Son she was leaving, Your Son would not have stopped her. But she… she sent Your Son away on an errand…”
The man hung his head in helpless, aggrieved sorrow. He had originally planned to go home with Ningning, then find a way to bring Father Emperor and Mother along, let Momo inherit the throne of Prince Xuan, and leave the Imperial Elder Sister’s family to preside over Xuanzhao.
But Ningning had never intended to take him with her at all. She didn’t want him…
Princess Xuan wanted to speak but held back. Ningning’s sudden departure had dealt Yuner quite a blow, she understood that, but she had not expected Yuner to speak so incoherently.
——
As dusk drew near, Xuan Yanyu returned to the Crown Prince’s residence. Stepping into the sleeping chamber, the first thing he saw was Qiuci and Xiao Wan tearfully gathering up the bloodstained handkerchiefs from beneath the bed.
So many. So many he could not count them all at a glance.
Xuan Yanyu’s pupils contracted. His fingers tightened. So… so she had been applying rouge every day in order to… to keep him from noticing anything was wrong…
“Your Highness, this servant found this tucked beneath the brocade quilt.” Qiuci’s eyes were red as she held out a sheet of rice paper wet with tearstains.
The man took the paper, his hands shaking as he unfolded it.
“Wishing Xuan Xixi… a smooth and untroubled path.”
“Wishing Xuan Xixi… all things easy and carefree.”
“Wishing Xuan Xixi… a life free from sorrow and worry.”
“I don’t know if you’ll ever see this, or if you’ve forgotten me. But I still want to add one more thing — my Xuan Xixi must be happy forever~”
“Xuan Xixi, I like you so, so, so much. If you are not well, I will die of heartache.”
“Xuan Xixi, I will love you forever and ever. Xuan Xixi, believe me — one day we will meet again… I… I will find a way to come see you…”
Across the rice paper, tears had blurred the ink in patch after patch. The fool must have shed quite a few tears while writing this. Xuan Yanyu curled his lips into a wide smile, while his eyes trembled and tears fell in great drops.
His fingertip traced over the words “I will find a way to come see you,” and his heart ached with a clenching pain.
Qiuci and Xiao Wan swiftly finished collecting the handkerchiefs and withdrew from the sleeping chamber.
Xuan Yanyu walked to the bed and lay down. When the familiar scent of the brocade quilt reached him, he could no longer hold back, and his eyes grew red.
The night grew darker and darker. The fine weather that had cleared for a whole day brought down a heavy rain once more.
“Once you are well, this Palace will take you out to walk in the rain.”
“Alright, but the Crown Prince must not go back on his word.”
“You are the one who broke your promise. This Palace has never gone back on its word. Every promise this Palace made to you, this Palace kept…” Xuan Yanyu murmured in a low, trembling voice, his nose raw with weeping.
The rain fell harder and harder, drowning out the sound of the man inside sobbing in his private grief.
Save for the night-watch guards, no one knew that the man who despised seeing others cry had hidden himself in his sleeping chamber and wept for half the night.