Ling Jingshu felt her heart sway at his words.
The future Wei Yan was painting — it was the very life she had imagined for herself, time and time again.
No need for fine silks and rich foods, no need for grand mansions or magnificent garments, no schemes and intrigues to navigate — just a marriage with the man she loved, living a half-reclusive and tranquil existence.
A few years on, perhaps, a pair of bright and lively children to make it all complete. A life like that, and she would want for nothing.
Ling Jingshu stood in a quiet reverie for a long time before she gave a soft, resigned sigh. “Wei Yan, everything you speak of is only a beautiful dream. Setting aside the question of whether we could even leave the palace — just consider your own situation.”
“Your Elder Sister is a consort within these walls, bound to the palace for the rest of her days. Princess An Ya will remain in the capital when the time comes. You are the youngest and most accomplished physician in the Imperial Medical Bureau, deeply trusted by the Emperor and with a distinguished future ahead of you. How could you abandon all of that and simply leave?”
Wei Yan looked at Ling Jingshu steadily. “Elder Sister is a consort of the inner palace — she will not leave these walls for the rest of her life. An Ya, as a princess, would only be sent away if it were a matter of a marriage alliance; otherwise she will remain in the capital. I made a decision long ago to stay here in the palace and watch over them. Even at great cost, I would not regret it.”
“As for my position in the Imperial Medical Bureau — that matters very little to me. It is the practice of medicine I love: the ability to heal illness and bring benefit to the world. Being in the palace only brings constraint after constraint, leaving one without room to move. If the chance ever came to leave the capital, I would resign my post as imperial physician without a second thought and go as far as I pleased.”
“I won’t deceive you. I cannot put Elder Sister and An Ya from my mind. In the near term, I have no intention of leaving. And you, caught as you are in difficulty now, could not easily walk out of this palace even if you wished to. These things will take time — careful thought, deliberate planning — before there is any chance of success.”
“Yet as long as we hold to that intention, the day will come — sooner or later — when this dream is realized.”
That final line, Wei Yan delivered with the certainty of something carved in stone.
On that fine, warm face — usually so mild in its beauty — something unusual shone through. Like a lodestone, it seized her gaze and the whole of her heart and would not let go.
What woman in all the world could refuse a confession offered with this kind of tender, unwavering sincerity?
Ling Jingshu’s eyes grew moist and her voice caught faintly. “Wei Yan, I am an enormous source of trouble. You will certainly be caught up in hardship because of me. By the time that day arrives, it will be too late for regrets.”
“I will never have regrets. This is the most sound decision I have made in my entire life — and the bravest thing I have ever done. A’Shu, whatever the future holds, I will remain by your side.”
Unable to contain his feelings, Wei Yan drew a step closer. Only a chi of space remained between them, their eyes level, each able to hear the other’s heartbeat and breathing.
“A’Shu, I want so much to hold you.” Wei Yan murmured, barely above a whisper, and the light in his eyes grew bright with warmth.
Even the most collected of men, when standing before the woman he loves, cannot hold onto his composure.
In the heat of his gaze, Ling Jingshu felt the color rise quietly in her cheeks. She gave a helpless, self-mocking little laugh. “You see — I still have this strange illness that prevents me from being near any man. Until it is cured, you cannot so much as touch my hand.”
Even so — can you truly bear with that?
Wei Yan broke into a smile, bright and full of spirit. “What is there to fear? With me here, any ailment, no matter how difficult, can be treated. Unfortunately, I cannot begin treating you in earnest just yet. If I did, that old reprobate might take it as an opening for some scheme of his.”
The words “old reprobate” caught Ling Jingshu off guard, and she couldn’t suppress a smile despite herself. “Mind that there are ears on the other side of walls. If someone hears and carries word back to the Emperor, that would be very bad.”
Wei Yan was in high spirits, his handsome face seeming to radiate a glow that made it impossible to look away. “Rest easy. The Emperor is not like Empress Xu. Empress Xu was narrow-minded and malicious, and envious by nature — she had informants spread throughout the palace. With her, one truly had to be on constant guard.”
“The Emperor, after all, is the Son of Heaven, a man with the whole realm in his heart — he has little attention to spare for the small affairs of the inner palace. What is more, my coming to treat your illness has gone through proper channels with his knowledge and approval. At present, he has every reason to want your ailment cured as quickly as possible. He will not trouble himself to look too closely at this.”
For the Emperor, the women of the inner palace existed as amusements and diversions, nothing more. There was little reason to expend great effort on them — and certainly no reason to maintain the kind of comprehensive network of informants that Empress Xu had kept.
That, too, was the fundamental difference between men and women.
Ling Jingshu considered it, and found she had no choice but to acknowledge that Wei Yan was right. “Even so, it is better to be careful. You should still write out a proper prescription for me as before — then if the Emperor makes any inquiries, you will have something to account for.”
“And we ought to agree on a version of events between us. If our accounts ever differed, it would only arouse the Emperor’s suspicions.”
Wei Yan felt a warmth move through him.
After they had spoken plainly to each other, the treatment he received was evidently rather different.
In the past, Ling Jingshu at most would have said something like “Imperial Physician Wei, please take care of yourself.” She would never have offered this kind of careful, concerned instruction.
The corner of Wei Yan’s mouth lifted without his permission. “Very well. I will do as you say.”
A soft flush of shy color rose across Ling Jingshu’s cheeks.
Like a peony just opening its petals — graceful, captivating, enough to bewitch the mind.
Wei Yan did not dare keep looking, for fear of losing his composure entirely. “I’ll write the prescription now.” With that, he opened his medicine case, took out the brush, and began writing rapidly.
Ling Jingshu said nothing. She sat quietly beside him, watching his every movement in silence, her heart brimming over with a still and radiant contentment.
With a different frame of mind, even the thought of the difficulties she was presently caught in felt less dark and oppressive than before.
…
“Imperial Physician Wei has been in there so long — has he not yet had the chance to examine Miss properly?” Qiao Yun, unable to hold her tongue, muttered under her breath.
Qiao Yun did know of Ling Jingshu’s strange illness. What she was not aware of was that Wei Yan’s “treatment” of Ling Jingshu was something kept deliberately from her.
Bai Yu naturally had no intention of letting that slip, and responded lightly. “Miss’s ailment is complicated and difficult to treat. It is natural that Imperial Physician Wei would take longer in his examination.”
Qiao Yun was half convinced and half doubtful, but found no grounds on which to press further.
After a little while, the door finally opened.
Ling Jingshu personally saw Wei Yan out.
The two of them conducted themselves as they always had in company — one offering respectful and grateful phrases like “You have taken such trouble, Imperial Physician Wei” and “I thank you most sincerely,” while the other responded with unhurried composure: “It is entirely within my duties” and “Official Ling need not stand on such ceremony.”
Not a single sign of anything out of the ordinary.
Both were accomplished at concealing their feelings, and both understood clearly that with the situation still unclear, there was no wisdom in letting anything personal show. Better to keep even those closest to them in the dark.
Bai Yu inwardly let out a breath she had been holding, and stepped forward quickly, offering a grateful bow. “Imperial Physician Wei has gone to such trouble again today. Allow this servant to see Imperial Physician Wei on his way on behalf of Miss.”
Ling Jingshu knew that Bai Yu was acting with her interests at heart and made no objection. She smiled, gave Wei Yan a word of parting, and watched him go.
Wei Yan lingered with reluctance in his heart. He cast Ling Jingshu one last, long glance — then, steeling himself, turned and walked away.
Ling Jingshu stood watching his figure until it disappeared from sight, while within her heart a sweet and heady warmth rose gently, like petals upon still water.