Xiang Lan turned her head to look at the few scattered rocks in the courtyard and the red plum blossoms planted there. She exhaled a white breath and softly asked, “Why is Your Lordship telling me this?”
Yuan Shaoren said, “This is the first time I’ve seen Yingyang like this. He’s quite loyal to relationships… I understand there are other circumstances between you two. I shouldn’t meddle as an outsider, I just… I just…” He hemmed and hawed before sighing and saying, “I just think you’re wonderful and hope you’ll have a good life in the future.” He lowered his head and saw Xiang Lan’s snow-white face had turned slightly red from the cold, her clear eyes meeting his gaze. Yuan Shaoren’s heart trembled slightly, and he turned away saying, “As long as you understand in your heart. Everyone in the Lin family is shrewd. Seeing how Yingyang cares for you and how the Mother-in-law values you, you should plan well for the future – at least consider how it will be when he takes a wife, and how life will be afterward. Make some arrangements… If things become truly difficult, having Yingyang set up a separate residence for you would also work.”
Xiang Lan was startled but grateful for Yuan Shaoren’s thoughtfulness. She curtsied and said, “Thank you for Your Lordship’s kind intentions.” Rising, she smiled and said, “These past few years, my heart has grown more tolerant than before. No matter how difficult life becomes, I’ve learned not to worry. The hurdles I once thought insurmountable, I’ve gradually let go of now. With a broad mind, the world becomes broader. As for the future, I don’t wish to think too much about it anymore. Previously, my excessive thoughts and countless plans couldn’t overcome life’s unpredictability.” She paused before asking, “How is Young Master De?”
Yuan Shaoren hadn’t expected Xiang Lan to ask about this. Thinking of his young son brought a smile as he said, “Him? The heartless little fellow – he eats well, sleeps well, is doing great, and has grown taller.”
Xiang Lan nodded with a smile, watching birds landing in the courtyard. She sighed, “I often wish I could stay at Young Master De’s age forever, without worries… But everyone must grow up, weather life’s storms, and experience ups and downs. Whether as a servant or official, a wife or achieving great deeds – however one lives, there are endless troubles. Your predestined hardships can’t be avoided; life’s lessons must be completed. Your Lordship need not worry about me.”
Yuan Shaoren was stunned, his heart stirring with waves of emotion. He clasped his hands and bowed, saying, “I was wrong to forget your breadth of mind. As I said before, I respect you as a person. If you face any difficulties in the future, I will certainly help.”
Xiang Lan curtsied again, saying, “Your Lordship, the weather is cold and windy. I’ll take my leave now. Please take care.” Yuan Shaoren bowed, and they parted ways.
Xiang Lan stood in the courtyard for a while, looking up at the clear sky with scattered clouds, until a maid called her, and she slowly returned to her room. To briefly mention – soon Tao Hongxun arrived and spoke with Lin Jinlou in the room for half a watch before taking his leave.
At that moment, Mother Wu and several maids and servants came in carrying elaborate gold-decorated five-colored boxes. Mother Wu said to Xiang Lan, “The Old Master is having a family feast. The Old Madam originally wanted you to join, but the Madam worried that the Young Master would have no one attentive to care for him, so she reported that you weren’t feeling well these past two days. She secretly sent over some dishes, and two are specially awarded by the Old Madam.”
Xiang Lan expressed her thanks and ordered Xiao Juan to bring reward money. Hua Shan went to lift the box covers, revealing two bowls of dishes inside. Ling Qing and Ling Su brought them out one by one and placed them on the kang table. Xiang Lan, as usual, first attended to Lin Jinlou, helping him rinse his mouth with tea and adjusting the pillows behind him higher. Although Lin Jinlou was recovering, his complexion was pale, his cheeks had lost their flesh, appearing particularly haggard. Xiang Lan silently sighed. She felt that her entangled relationship with Lin Jinlou was like a messy account – she always wanted to quickly repay and be free, but it was complicated, paying and owing, owing and paying. Until now, so intertwined, she couldn’t calculate whether she owed or had repaid. She no longer wanted to calculate; all previous resentment, grievances, gratitude, and warmth had merged into an indistinguishable mess. She simply let it be, now only wanting him to recover quickly.
Lin Jinlou seemed preoccupied since Tao Hongxun left. After eating, he unusually obediently took his medicine and remained quiet. After Xiang Lan finished her meal, she ordered the maids to clear the table and went to help Lin Jinlou with official matters. Lin Jinlou only had Xiang Lan write several invitation cards to invite his close friends to the mansion. After replying to several urgent letters, he instructed Xiang Lan to hand them to Shu Ran, then lay in bed staring blankly at the canopy. Xiang Lan didn’t disturb him, sitting beside the bed reading for a while, quietly managing household matters, urging Lin Jinlou to take another dose of medicine, attending to his washing up, and hurriedly washing up herself. Finally, she changed his wound dressing, seeing it had improved somewhat from yesterday, feeling slightly relieved. After tidying everything, as she was about to lower the curtains and blow out the lamps, Lin Jinlou grabbed her wrist and said, “Tonight, just sleep here.”
Xiang Lan looked at the inner side of the bed: “How can I? Sleeping inside would be inconvenient for me to get up. I’ll sleep on the outer couch; I’ll hear if you call.”
Lin Jinlou said, “Sleep here. I heard you had nightmares last night, I heard you cry out once. Tonight you sleep here, I’ll chase away any evil spirits for you.” Seeing Xiang Lan hesitate, he couldn’t help but say, “Hurry up, don’t dawdle.” Then, realizing his tone was wrong, he lowered his voice two notches and said, “Come up and sleep.”
Xiang Lan had no choice but to blow out the outer lamps, lower the curtains, and carefully step over Lin Jinlou to the inner side of the bed, pulling up the covers to lie down. She didn’t sleep soundly in the first half of the night. When Lin Jinlou occasionally turned in his sleep, the wound would pain him awake, yet he struggled to remain silent. Xiang Lan suddenly realized why when washing and dressing Lin Jinlou in the morning, she would always find his undergarments damp – it was all from his cold sweat of pain. She quietly got up, put on her clothes, got a towel to wipe him down, and placed a piece of calming incense in the lotus-patterned copper incense burner by the bedside. Lin Jinlou said hoarsely, “Go to sleep, don’t mind me, it doesn’t hurt that much anymore.”
Xiang Lan ignored him, took out the medicinal ointment, applied a fresh layer to the wound, and then lay down, not daring to fall asleep, constantly listening to Lin Jinlou’s movements. Hearing him sleep peacefully, she quietly got up, lifted the curtain slightly, and in the light saw Lin Jinlou was sound asleep, his face looking softer, younger, and more innocent than when awake. Xiang Lan watched for a long while, feeling an inexplicable sourness in her heart. She quietly lay down, thinking she was being too sentimental, otherwise, why would see Lin Jinlou lying in bed, wracked with pain, make her heart ache so?
She lay wrapped in the covers lost in thought, and in her drowsiness seemed to enter a dense forest again, wielding a large knife swinging at Lu Shaotang’s head. He fell forward without a sound, an arrow deeply piercing his chest through his heart, blood gushing out. Xiang Lan jolted awake with a cry, repeatedly saying, “I didn’t mean to kill you!” In her panic, an arm embraced her, saying in her ear, “You didn’t want to kill him, he was a criminal who deserved death.” After saying this several times, Xiang Lan finally came to her senses, then heard Lin Jinlou’s voice say, “You’ve never done anything wrong in your life. You killed to save me, this debt of life falls on me, it has nothing to do with you…” He struggled to endure the pain from pulling at his wound, his whole body trembling slightly, then suddenly lowered his head to kiss Xiang Lan’s temple. Xiang Lan lay motionless at his side, closed her eyes, and couldn’t help as a tear rolled down.