Madam Qin was already stunned, tearfully embracing Lin Zhang Zheng’s arm, saying, “Master, please take care. We’re all family here, we can talk things through. Don’t harm your health with anger.” Lin Zhang Zheng was breathing heavily, his chest heaving violently. Though he usually respected Madam Qin and even somewhat feared her, he couldn’t care about that now. He pushed her aside, saying, “Have you also gone mad, actually indulging him?”
Lin Jin Lou’s eyes were bloodshot, unconsciously stepping half a step back. Every word had struck his heart like a hammer, filling him with rage and anguish. But this was his father – there was nothing he could do, like facing defeat on a battlefield, unable to command troops against overwhelming odds. He stepped forward to Lin Zhang Zheng, grinding his teeth, “She’s not desperately clinging to our family – I’m the one desperately keeping her here!”
Lin Zhang Zheng slapped Lin Jin Lou’s face with a fan, trembling with rage: “Rebellion! Rebellion! Kneel!” He staggered back to sit on the kang bed. Madam Qin hurried to help him catch his breath. Lin Jin Lou had no choice but to reluctantly kneel.
Lin Zhang Zheng pointed with trembling fingers: “Has phlegm clouded your mind, making you reject all family ties? Fine, fine! That maid’s reputation was already questionable when she went missing in Yang Zhou. Never mind that she’s not a servant – even if she were from a proper family, such impurity makes her unworthy!”
Lin Jin Lou’s undergarments were soaked with cold sweat. He could barely breathe, his heart feeling as if pierced by thousands of needles. He closed his eyes, feeling the throbbing temples from his bulging veins, his throat dry and harsh: “How is she unworthy? Why was she lost in Yang Zhou? Wasn’t it to save Mother and Sister? Later she saved your son too. Based on this alone, there’s nothing unworthy about her!”
Lin Zhang Zheng wheezed angrily: “Repaying kindness is one thing, but how can you conflate it like this, bringing shame to the Lin family ancestors? I heard she once visited the Song family, had some history with the Song boy, scheming around, focused only on climbing the social ladder – such deep calculation and manipulation! A mere lowborn person, yet harboring such delusional dreams!”
Lin Jin Lou could no longer contain his anger, breathing heavily through gritted teeth: “So it seems the Lin family ancestors don’t understand gratitude and repayment, inferior even to a woman. I’ll say it again – she’s not lowborn, even if she were a servant, she’s not lowborn!”
Lin Zhang Zheng jumped up in rage, grabbing Lin Jin Lou’s collar with both hands, shouting: “Worthless thing! Unrepentant! Today you must surely want to anger me to death. If you continue this willfulness, don’t blame me for being merciless to prevent future troubles!”
Lin Jin Lou was startled, staring into Lin Zhang Zheng’s eyes, his gaze gradually hardening as he spoke softly: “What does Father intend to do?”
Lin Zhang Zheng sneered: “I raised such an unfilial demon, disregarding the Lin family’s face and future, but I cannot let you run wild! That girl has done our family service, it should have been a beautiful story of gratitude, ensuring her lifelong prosperity. If she doesn’t know her place, don’t force me to change this beautiful story’s tone.”
Lin Jin Lou stared directly at Lin Zhang Zheng, his face frost-covered, nodding slightly: “Fine, fine, fine. If you dare touch a single hair on her head…”
Lin Zhang Zheng coldly replied: “And what if I do? Would you kill your parents? Then I’ll consider myself childless!”
Madam Qin grabbed both their arms, crying: “How did such a good father-son relationship come to this? Can’t we discuss family matters properly? If you two sever ties, wouldn’t that be the death of me?” She couldn’t help but burst into tears.
Lin Jin Lou, face pale, stared at Lin Zhang Zheng, speaking slowly: “Your son wouldn’t dare. But I’ll say this today – unless I’m dead, I will marry her! Even if she dies and turns to ash, I’ll marry her memorial tablet and live with it.”
Madam Qin was shocked, crying out: “Lou’er! What are you saying!”
Lin Zhang Zheng trembled with rage, nodding repeatedly: “Fine, fine, I’ll remember these words, let’s see what you can do. Unfilial beast, daring to challenge me – if you dare, I’ll drive you from this house! Get out! Out!”
Lin Jin Lou stood up and stumbled backward, his face ashen, drenched in sweat, as if drunk, walking out in a daze. Madam Qin called after him softly through her tears, but he couldn’t hear anything, his ears only ringing.
Inside, Lin Zhang Zheng sat down straight, then slumped against the kang’s head, feeling as if his body had fallen apart. Lin Jin Lou had been tyrannical since childhood, his father unable to control him, even taking pleasure in opposing him, though he still knew his limits and how to advance himself, often talking back but always with a grin. This was the first time he’d seen his eldest son like this, standing before him, taller and stronger, face cold with its authority. He suddenly realized this son had truly become a general capable of decisive action, daring to challenge him – he really couldn’t control him anymore.
When Lin Jin Lou returned to Chang Chun Hall, Xiao Juan, Hua Shan, Ling Qing, and Ling Su were playing shuttlecock in the courtyard. Seeing Lin Jin Lou enter with disheveled clothes and a haggard appearance, they exchanged glances, bit their fingers, and quietly slipped away. Lin Jin Lou ignored them, walking straight to his room. Hong Jian and Lu Lan hadn’t left yet, following his instructions to stay with Xiang Lan and talk with her, while Xue Ning busied herself to serve tea and fruit. When Lin Jin Lou entered, all four stood up, shocked to see the red mark of the slap on his face. They dared not say more and took their leave, with Xue Ning looking thoughtful, glancing between Lin Jin Lou and Xiang Lan before closing the door and leaving.
Lin Jin Lou paced the room like a caged beast, unbearably agitated. He grabbed his leather punching bag and struck it repeatedly with all his might until his hands were red and his knuckles swollen, sweat pouring down. Each breath burned his lungs until he was completely exhausted without an ounce of strength left. He swayed twice before collapsing to the ground. After a while, he crawled up and sat against the wall, staring at the blue sky through the window, lost in a daze like a stone statue.
Xiang Lan had been silently watching him, having never seen Lin Jin Lou like this before, feeling indescribable pain. She couldn’t help but stand up, took a few steps then hesitated, when Lin Jin Lou suddenly turned his head, backlit so his expression was unclear, saying softly: “I thought you’d come to check on me.” After looking at Xiang Lan for a while, he turned away again.
Xiang Lan choked up, her heart heavy as she walked over quietly and crouched down, unable to resist touching Lin Jin Lou’s face, saying softly: “There’s medicine in the drawer, let me apply some for you.” Only when she touched his face did she startle awake and try to withdraw, but Lin Jin Lou grabbed her hand, staring at her intently.
They gazed at each other briefly until Xiang Lan looked into Lin Jin Lou’s eyes. She suddenly felt flustered and lowered her head, only to see Lin Jin Lou’s red and swollen hands with bruised knuckles. Xiang Lan’s voice became tiny: “Why did you do this to yourself, you… I’ll get the medicine.” As she withdrew her hand and stood up, she wiped her eyes with a handkerchief.
Shortly after, Xiang Lan returned with the medicine, first gently applying it to Lin Jin Lou’s face, then his hands. Lin Jin Lou allowed her to tend to him without speaking, staring blankly out the window. Xiang Lan brought a bowl of tea, offering it: “Have a sip.”
Lin Jin Lou suddenly grabbed Xiang Lan’s wrist and pulled her to his chest. Xiang Lan cried out in surprise, spilling the entire bowl of tea, but Lin Jin Lou pulled her into a tight embrace, nuzzling her neck and taking a deep breath. Xiang Lan raised her arms to hold Lin Jin Lou, and he shuddered, his entire body slowly relaxing from its rigidity.
Xiang Lan asked gently: “What’s wrong with you?”
Lin Jin Lou remained silent for a while before asking quietly: “Xiang Lan, do you hate me?”
Xiang Lan was stunned. Did she hate him? In her eyes, Lin Jin Lou had always been a tyrant, a demon – powerful and domineering, shrewd and perceptive, full of heroic pride, always forcing her, one hand repeatedly pushing her into the mud while the other repeatedly saved her. But she couldn’t remember clearly anymore. She wasn’t old, yet past events had become like clouds and smoke. Perhaps she was just someone destined to suffer without a heart – his past wrongs against her had gradually blurred to ash, but his kindness remained in her heart, especially that snowy night when he was severely wounded and used his last breath to ask Yuan Shao Ren to take care of her.
Before she could answer, Lin Jin Lou snorted: “You must hate and despise me, right?” Xiang Lan struggled up forcefully, holding Lin Jin Lou’s face with both hands, looking into his eyes, shaking her head very seriously, saying: “I don’t hate you, haven’t hated you for a long time.”
“Yes, you’re soft-hearted, never hated anyone.”
“…”
“Then… do you love me?”
“…” Xiang Lan’s deep pool-like eyes looked at Lin Jin Lou, her heart pounding wildly. She suddenly felt a lump in her throat and said softly, “Why does Young Master ask this?”
“I just want to know, I, I… never mind.” He avoided looking at Xiang Lan, still holding her tightly, and after a long while mumbled, “It’s nothing… it’s enough that I love you.”
Xiang Lan’s heart tightened, instantly filled with mixed emotions that threatened to burst her heart, her whole body trembling, eyes glistening. She rested her face on Lin Jin Lou’s shoulder so he wouldn’t see her tear-streaked face.
After a while, Lin Jin Lou said softly: “Did my father hurt you today? Don’t take it to heart, he’s just that kind of person who finds fault with everything. Just respect him and treat whatever he says like singing… He’s likely to stay in Beijing this time. With the Second Prince’s rebellion, many court officials are implicated, greatly weakening the government. The old man has good achievements, he’ll likely enter the cabinet – staying in Beijing is a good thing… I’ve been wanting to give you a big gift, to ensure you won’t suffer anymore, but haven’t been able to arrange it properly. Once it’s ready, we’ll return to Jin Ling to live our own carefree life, not having to look at anyone’s face.”
Xiang Lan quietly wiped her face with a handkerchief and looked at him asking: “What big gift?”
Lin Jin Lou patted her shoulder, and after a while said: “I’ll tell you when it’s ready, don’t know if you’ll like it… Never mind that, after returning to Jin Ling, I’ll visit your home with you. You haven’t seen your parents for a while, you must miss them?”
Xiang Lan didn’t speak, listening to Lin Jin Lou’s rambling while her mind remained on the “big gift.” She was clever – these days Lin Jin Lou had been busy, first having someone write “The Tale of Scholar Lan Xiang,” then having her paint for Lin Zhao Xiang, taking her to meet his parents, and now this state – she could guess what it was all about. She suddenly hugged Lin Jin Lou’s face and gently kissed his cheek. Lin Jin Lou felt as if heaven and earth were crumbling, his vision spinning, and hoarsely called out: “Xiang Lan…” before kissing her lips.