Teng Yi didn’t take the candy. Though the pink little thing was within reach, to him, it felt as distant as a faraway star.
“What would you like to drink?” he asked.
Remembering the fridge full of alcohol, Ruan Yu answered: “Anything but alcohol.”
“Tea?”
“What kind?”
“Black tea.”
“Sure.”
Teng Yi opened the wooden cabinet behind him. Inside, arranged layer by layer were many tea canisters. What first caught Ruan Yu’s attention were the handwritten labels on the canisters on the highest shelf. The labels had yellowed with age, but the elegant, beautiful handwriting was still faintly visible.
These were the tea canisters that Shen Bing used to keep on the bar counter years ago.
He had kept them, kept them all.
A wave of sadness suddenly overcame Ruan Yu, and her gaze towards Teng Yi grew even more tender with sympathy.
Though Teng Yi had his back to her, he seemed to sense her emotions.
“You were here last night,” he suddenly said, his tone certain.
Ruan Yu remained silent, wanting to avoid the topic. But her silence confirmed his suspicion.
“I thought it was a dream, but it was real,” he murmured.
“I heard you fainted, so I came to check on you. Later, Rui Shu said you’d been given an injection and wouldn’t wake for a while, so I left.”
“You met Rui Shu?”
“Yes.”
“What did she tell you?”
“…”
“Did Rui Shu tell you everything?” Teng Yi’s tone suddenly grew urgent.
Ruan Yu nodded.
“Everything?”
“Everything.”
Teng Yi’s movements paused, a flash of obvious disgust crossing his face, though it wasn’t clear whether he was disgusted with her or himself.
“Teng Yi…”
Teng Yi turned his back to her, presenting her with a cold shoulder.
“I don’t need sympathy, and I certainly don’t need pity.”
“You think I left so late last night and came so early this morning because I sympathize with you or pity you?”
He remained silent.
Ruan Yu stood up and walked behind him.
“I’m worried about you.” She reached out and gently grasped the back of his shirt, her voice choking up: “I’m worried about you!”
This intimacy felt like vulnerability, like coquetry, like testing the waters, but also like her own bravery.
Teng Yi hazily recalled years ago, in a hotel in another city, when she stood behind him just like now, quietly grabbing the back of his shirt, telling him “Let’s get one room.”
That was the moment she had decided to give herself to him, and he also remembered the determination he had felt then. At that time, he had sworn in his heart that he would give her the best ending possible in this life.
But now, what was the best ending?
Perhaps staying far away from him was the best ending.
“Did Rui Shu tell you my mother passed away?”
“She did.”
“Did she also tell you Teng Hao will never stand again?”
“Teng Yi… none of this is your fault.”
“Not my fault? Then whose fault is it? Heaven’s? Or fate’s?” Teng Yi gripped the tea canister tightly. “My mother’s short life was spent constantly running around for us brothers. She never got to enjoy even one day of the leisurely life she truly loved – brewing tea and savoring it. But she always said she didn’t feel it was hard, that she felt lucky because she had me to take care of my brother. Teng Hao trusted and relied on me even more. He would do whatever I said – when I told him to dance, he practiced day and night without rest. Before going on stage, he even thanked me for giving him this opportunity…”
“Stop! Please stop!” Ruan Yu cried out, interrupting him.
Teng Yi tilted his head back, trying to keep the tears welling in his eyes from falling.
“Ruan Yu, do you know? These six years, I’ve regretted letting you go every single day, yet also been grateful every single day that I let you go. Because everyone who stays by my side ends up unfortunate!”
“No.” Ruan Yu shook her head through her tears. “It’s not like that!”
“Then what is it like?”
“They were accidents, just accidents!”
“…”
“Teng Yi, you can’t think like that. The more you think that way, the worse your illness will get. If depression gets severe, if it gets severe…” She kept repeating but didn’t dare say the most cruel words.
“Go. Don’t worry about me. I didn’t die during the worst times, I won’t now.”
But his living was merely existing.
This was all he could manage now – at best, just taking his last breaths.
And she deserved better – a better person, a better ending.
Teng Yi walked forward without looking back, his shirt slipping from her fingertips.
The tea canister tipped over, black tea spilling across the floor, just like her scattered thoughts.