Ruan Yu turned and walked out of the Nameless bar.
The chaotic wind stung her eyes, reddening them as soon as she stepped outside, but she didn’t let the tears fall.
Teng Hao had said she’d become prone to crying, but that wasn’t true. She was still like before, able to endure when endurance was needed. Just like now, she refused to shed another tear for him.
Yet while tears could be held back, the heartache could not be contained at all.
Ruan Yu returned to her car, slumping over the steering wheel and staring blankly ahead. For six years, she had lived in sweet memories and anticipation. Now, she could neither reminisce peacefully nor hold onto the hope that had sustained her.
Her mind was in chaos, her heart empty. She didn’t know what to think or what to do, like a puppet whose strings had suddenly been cut, losing its center of gravity.
“I stumble through the sea of people, wound upon wound, lost on my path, not as bright as when you told me there was light beyond the light…”
Ruan Yu’s phone rang.
The ringtone amplified in the quiet car cabin, suddenly pulling her back to reality.
It was Teacher Tian calling.
Ruan Yu cleared her throat and answered.
“Teacher Tian.”
“Ruan Ruan, I have good news!” Teacher Tian exclaimed excitedly on the other end. “Teng Yi is back! He’s back! I’ve confirmed it – the person who delivered the gift that night was him! Only that kid would do something like giving such a big gift without saying a word!”
“Oh.”
“Oh? Just oh?” Ruan Yu’s cold response struck Teacher Tian as strange. “Haven’t you been waiting for him to return? Now that he’s finally back, aren’t you happy?”
“Teacher Tian, I haven’t been waiting for him, not for a single day.” Ruan Yu forced down her emotions. “Sorry, I’m working now. I’ll contact you when I’m free. Goodbye.”
With that, she hung up.
The car cabin fell into suffocating silence.
Finally, she could no longer hold back her tears, but she wasn’t crying for Teng Yi – she was crying for her pathetic false bravado and childish stubbornness.
Cry now, leave all tears for today, so she could welcome a brand new tomorrow.
–_–
The next day was Saturday.
Ruan Yu didn’t get up until noon.
Outside the window, sunlight flourished in spring glory, the lush greenery melting the frost in her heart. If not for seeing her swollen red eyes in the mirror while washing up, she might have hypnotized herself into believing nothing had happened last night.
Ruan Yu changed clothes and put on large sunglasses before heading out.
She was going to visit Ying Wen in the hospital today.
Ying Wen was both Ruan Yu’s senior and mentor. When Ruan Yu first joined TG Broadcasting, having no backing, she could only help distribute mineral water in the studio and do odd jobs. It was Ying Wen who discovered her hosting talent and strongly recommended her to the station director, leading to Ruan Yu’s first show. Although that show’s ratings weren’t ideal due to its time slot, it was that beginning that led to Ruan Yu’s later success and current position. Therefore, Ruan Yu remained deeply grateful to Ying Wen, considering her the one who recognized her talent in her hosting career.
Before going to the hospital, Ruan Yu first went to a flower shop and chose a bouquet of pink and white baby’s breath – she remembered Ying Wen telling her she liked baby’s breath.
At the hospital, Ruan Yu discovered Shan Anxin was also there.
Shan Anxin, who usually dressed flashily at the station, was particularly low-key today in light-colored velvet sportswear and a baseball cap, bare-faced like a college student.
Compared to Shan Anxin, Ruan Yu in her sunglasses seemed particularly focused on appearance.
“Sister Ruan, you look so good today. This outfit looks more like you’re going to walk the red carpet than visit a patient,” Shan Anxin smiled at Ruan Yu.
Her words seemed complimentary on the surface but carried an undertone of stirring trouble.
Since Ying Wen’s miscarriage and hospitalization, reporters had been stationed outside the hospital daily. Shan Anxin was implying that Ruan Yu was calculating, trying to get media coverage even while visiting a patient.
But actually, Ruan Yu had anticipated the reporters and driven directly into the underground parking garage, quietly coming up from below, completely contrary to Shan Anxin’s accusations.
“In your view, this level of dress is enough for a red carpet?” Ruan Yu removed her sunglasses and smiled at Shan Anxin. “Anxin, no wonder the media always says you’re fashion-challenged. You need to reflect on that.”
Shan Anxin’s expression changed instantly, her fake smile disappearing.
Ruan Yu ignored her and turned to Ying Wen.
“Sister Ying Wen, how are you?”
In the hospital bed, Ying Wen was pale and bloodless, but more unbearable than the physical pain must have been the mental torment. Guilt over losing the child, her husband’s blame, and worry about work… these psychological pressures combined made her look especially haggard.
“I’m fine. I could have gone straight back to work at the station, but my parents won’t let me move, that’s why I’m staying in the hospital.” Ying Wen’s voice was weak.
“Uncle and Auntie are just looking out for you,” Ruan Yu said.
Ying Wen smiled faintly, the smile as weak as her voice.
“Sister Ying Wen, just rest easy in the hospital. The station has Sister Ruan now. Sister Ruan is so capable these days – managing two shows of her own and still having the energy to take on others’ work, she’s practically a model worker,” Shan Anxin seized the opportunity to mock Ruan Yu again, expressing her dissatisfaction.
“I wouldn’t dare claim to be a model worker. I’m just trying to do the tasks assigned by leadership without dropping the ball,” Ruan Yu said.
This comment made Shan Anxin, who was prone to dropping the ball, uncomfortable again.
“Sister Ruan truly deserves her reputation as a sharp tongue, every word cuts deep.”
Ruan Yu rubbed her temple: “Anxin, listen to yourself – isn’t everyone here known for their sharp tongues?”
Seeing the two about to argue, Ying Wen quickly tried to smooth things over.
“Alright, alright, I’m happy you both came to see me. Let’s not talk about work, let’s discuss something else. Anxin, where did you get your nails done? They look so nice.”
The topic was successfully changed by Ying Wen, and the atmosphere eased. Though Shan Anxin appeared fine on the surface, she remained irritated inside and soon made an excuse to leave.
After Shan Anxin left, Ruan Yu could finally have a proper conversation with Ying Wen.
Ying Wen was still concerned about her show “They Say.”
“I heard from Anxin that the Deputy Director asked you to take over for me?”
“Yes. The new guest Neil is my friend, that’s why the Deputy Director made this arrangement.” Ruan Yu held Ying Wen’s hand. “Sister Ying Wen, don’t worry, I won’t let you down. I’ll put even more effort into this than my shows. You just focus on recovering in the hospital.”
Ying Wen nodded: “Of course I trust you. In the whole station, your ability is what I doubt least.”
–_–
The recording of “They Say” was scheduled for Wednesday.
Early Wednesday morning, Ruan Yu first drove to Teng Hao’s residence.
Teng Hao now lived in Jin Ting He Yuan, a villa community close to Hua Fu. According to Teng Hao, after returning to China, he had originally planned to buy back the house they had sold years ago, but after several unsuccessful communications with the owner, he finally gave up.
Indeed, what would be the point of buying back the old house?
They could never return to the past.
Ruan Yu drove into the courtyard and got out to ring the doorbell.
The bell rang for a long time with no response.
This scene was so similar to years ago.
Ruan Yu took out her phone and called Teng Hao.
The phone rang for a while before Teng Hao answered.
“Hey!” Ruan Yu called out. “You kid, are you deliberately not opening the door again?”
Before Teng Hao could respond, footsteps sounded behind her.
Ruan Yu felt someone approach, and pressing the phone, she turned around, her eyes meeting Teng Yi’s in that instant.
Teng Yi had just returned from his morning run, wearing all-black sportswear that made him look particularly lean and cold. His eyes were like the winter-dormant dead wood in the garden, no longer holding their past warmth.
He had changed.
At that moment, this was the only thought that flashed through Ruan Yu’s mind.
“I’ll open the door for you,” Teng Yi said flatly, removing one earbud as he looked at her.
No greetings, no surprise, no joy, as if they had seen each other just yesterday rather than reuniting after six years apart.
Ruan Yu couldn’t help feeling sad again – sad at his coldness, sad at her own inability to not feel sad.
“Thank you,” she hung up the phone and mirrored his manner, looking back at him just as flatly.
Teng Yi stepped forward, passing by her with a faint scent of tobacco.
Ruan Yu’s gaze dropped to his pocket, where a square box showed its shape.
He had just been smoking.
Smoking first thing in the morning – what a bad habit.
Teng Yi opened the door and, seeing her standing there, held it open for her.
“Come in.”
“Did you know I was coming today?” Ruan Yu asked.
“Mm, Teng Hao mentioned it yesterday.”
“Are you still living with Teng Hao?”
He nodded.
“Teng Hao only told me you returned together, he didn’t mention you were living together. I hadn’t expected that.” Her underlying meaning was to explain that she had known about his return but never thought of seeing him, and hadn’t expected to see him today.
This was an attempt to cover up – she had already gone to the bar to see him, but Teng Yi didn’t know that.
He remained silent.
Ruan Yu curved her lips: “Why are you still living together? Won’t you as the older brother staying with him affect his chances of getting a girlfriend?”
Teng Yi lowered his eyes.
“His legs aren’t well.”
Those six low words pierced straight into Ruan Yu’s heart.
Yes, how could she forget – Teng Hao was no longer the Teng Hao of the past. Now his legs weren’t well; how could they let him live alone? What if something happened?
“Sorry, I…”
“It’s fine.”
They entered the house.
Teng Hao was just coming out of his room. He now slept in a ground-floor room facing the back garden.
“Sorry Top Scholar Miss, my wheelchair battery died earlier. I wasn’t deliberately not opening the door,” he explained somewhat pitifully.
“It’s okay, I was just joking earlier.” Ruan Yu walked up to Teng Hao and raised her fist playfully. “I know you wouldn’t dare not open the door for me now, right?”
“Yes, yes, yes, Top Scholar Miss has so many fans now, I wouldn’t dare offend you,” Teng Hao clasped his hands in mock surrender, his handsome face full of smiles.
Ruan Yu laughed too.
Teng Yi had been standing behind them, silently listening to their playful banter, but when Ruan Yu looked back, she found he had already left at some point.
–_–
The sound of boiling water came from the kitchen.
Ruan Yu turned her head and through the door gap saw Teng Yi standing by the kettle, his tall figure softened by the sunlight streaming in through the window, finally showing a trace of warmth.
Teng Hao noticed Ruan Yu’s gaze.
“Top Scholar Miss, have you gone to the bar to find my brother?” he asked softly, leaning closer.
“No,” Ruan Yu denied immediately.
“Have you been very busy lately?”
“A bit.”
Teng Hao made an “oh” sound and seemed about to ask more when Teng Yi came out of the kitchen.
He placed a cup of tea in front of Ruan Yu.
“Thank you,” Ruan Yu said politely.
Teng Yi nodded.
Teng Hao watched their mutual formality and slightly furrowed his brows.
“What?” Teng Yi noticed his brother’s expression change.
“Nothing, I was just wondering why you only made tea for Top Scholar Miss. What about me?”
Though Teng Hao was just joking, Teng Yi returned to the kitchen and poured him a cup of tea.
“Top Scholar Miss, my brother’s become boring, hasn’t he?” Teng Hao said.
“Six years is a long time, everyone’s changed.”
“True, Top Scholar Miss has changed too.”
“How have I changed?”
“You’ve become more beautiful.”
Ruan Yu laughed: “You’ve changed the most, especially that mouth of yours – getting sweeter and sweeter.”
“Really.” Teng Hao turned to ask Teng Yi, “Brother, hasn’t Top Scholar Miss become more beautiful?”
Ruan Yu looked at Teng Yi.
He had been about to go upstairs when suddenly addressed, and instinctively looked at Ruan Yu.
Their eyes met again, but only for an instant before Teng Yi shifted his gaze away.
“Mm,” he responded shortly, with nothing more to add.
“Brother! Could you be any more perfunctory?” Teng Hao called out.
Teng Yi didn’t respond further. He went upstairs, leaving only the echo of his footsteps in the stairwell.
Teng Hao watched his brother’s retreating figure and sighed: “Top Scholar Miss, my brother’s become boring, hasn’t he?”
Ruan Yu remained silent.
Yes, not just boring, but cold too. If not for having the same face as before, she would have doubted whether this person was Teng Yi. How could the brightness and gentleness once ingrained in his bones now leave not even a trace?
A while later, the “They Say” production crew also arrived at the Teng house. Although they had filmed many famous figures before, this was their first time filming in a guest’s home. The staff members were all amazed by the elegant and grand decorations of the Teng residence.
“This house is so beautiful.”
“Isn’t it? Rich people’s homes are just different.”
The new young women on the production crew looked around like tourists, curious and envious.
Ruan Yu quickly entered work mode. She did her makeup on-site, changed clothes, and went through the recording process one final time with the director.
“Xiao Ruan, I just heard Neil say he lives with his brother?” the director asked.
“Yes.”
“Go talk to his brother and see if he’d be willing to do an interview too. Just a simple chat about his view of his brother – we can edit it into the final cut to let viewers understand Neil more completely through his family’s perspective.”
“Me?”
“Yes, aren’t you friends with Neil? Then you must know his brother too, right? It’s easier to talk to someone familiar, so you go.”
“…”
Ruan Yu was deeply resistant to this suggestion, but it was work and hard to refuse.
“What? Is there some difficulty?” the director asked curiously.
“No, I’ll go.”