HomeDefeated By LoveBai Gei Xi Huan - Chapter 80

Bai Gei Xi Huan – Chapter 80

This time Xie Ruhe heard Shu Nian’s words, and the slight drowsiness that had remained instantly vanished. His lips parted slightly, with a few tufts of his fluffy hair sticking up like cowlicks.

Before he could react, Shu Nian slipped through the gap between Xie Ruhe and the doorframe, as if both awkward yet natural at the same time.

The air conditioning in this room was set very low, making it feel like a different world from the outside. Xie Ruhe had a habit of sleeping without lights, so it was both cold and dark inside.

Shu Nian used the light streaming in from outside to walk to Xie Ruhe’s bed, and silently but purposefully climbed onto it.

Xie Ruhe was still standing by the door.

Late at night, her sudden arrival.

Xie Ruhe couldn’t figure out how to react, feeling as if he were dreaming, his mind completely blank. The first thought that jumped into his mind was—Shu Nian is afraid of the dark.

The next moment, Xie Ruhe reached out and flipped on the light switch.

The light was a yellowish-white, bright like sunlight.

Shu Nian was wearing a beige cotton-linen nightdress that fell below her knees. Afraid of exposing herself, she deliberately tugged at the hem. She crawled to the position against the wall and obediently covered herself with the blanket.

Xie Ruhe quietly closed the door and locked it.

The room wasn’t particularly large, and the confined space seemed to amplify the current atmosphere, making even the smallest, barely perceptible movements clearer.

The “click” of the door lock, the sound of the wind gently tapping against the window, the breath exhaled by both of them.

Then, Xie Ruhe walked to the bedside table, picked up the remote, and turned the air conditioning temperature up a bit. He asked softly, “Are you cold?”

Shu Nian vaguely murmured in agreement.

The room once again fell into endless silence.

After adjusting the temperature, Xie Ruhe still stood in place, not lying down on the bed. He lowered his eyes, fiddling with the remote in his hand, lost in thought.

Shu Nian had half her face buried in the blanket, secretly looking in his direction.

She could only see his profile, softened by the lamplight, wearing clean casual clothes. Completely unlike the version of him in her dream.

If parallel universes existed.

If in that parallel universe, Shu Nian had chosen like in her dream.

Then now, in that parallel universe, Xie Ruhe.

Was he still endlessly searching for traces of Zeng Yuanxue, or was he already in that house, with despair and destruction, silently leaving this world?

She had always felt that death was the greatest relief for herself and others.

Feeling unable to go on, she chose death, losing all consciousness. Whether she was happy or not, whether he was sad or not, none of it would matter to her anymore.

Not knowing what would happen afterward.

Also not knowing that, in fact, those who remain alive experience no less pain than those who die.

Shu Nian’s nose stung. She pulled down the blanket and asked softly, “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

Xie Ruhe licked his lips, raised his hand to scratch his head, and spoke in a low voice.

“I will.”

After a few seconds, Xie Ruhe leisurely got into bed.

He looked at the pillow Shu Nian was leaning against, remembered the previous occasions in similar situations, and hesitantly yet instinctively placed his pillow between them.

“Xie Ruhe,” Shu Nian didn’t pay much attention to his action and suddenly said, “I just had a dream.”

Sensing her mood, Xie Ruhe didn’t ask what she dreamed about, only reassuring her: “Dreams are just dreams.”

“When I woke up, I knew it was fake,” Shu Nian stared at the ceiling. “I used to have a lot of bad dreams. When I woke up, I knew they were fake, but I would inexplicably start to fear that these things might become reality someday in the future.”

Xie Ruhe said earnestly, “They won’t.”

“But this time after waking up, I just felt, thankfully it was a dream, thankfully it was fake… I can prevent this from happening,” Shu Nian sniffled. “It’s the first time I’ve had this feeling.”

Hearing this, Xie Ruhe looked at her.

“I’m sorry,” Shu Nian raised her eyes, suddenly sitting up. “For saying those things to you today.”

She had been too unhappy.

The shame and self-doubt brought by others’ words entangled her like vines, eroding her rationality. She was in so much pain that she wanted to use her life to pay off a debt that didn’t even exist.

Thinking it would be better for both of them.

Yet she had forgotten that Xie Ruhe’s mother had experienced the same thing she had.

He had lost his mother because of Zeng Yuanxue.

He certainly couldn’t bear for such a thing to happen a second time.

Xie Ruhe reached out to stroke her head without saying a word.

“In the future, I’ll focus on getting better,” Shu Nian pressed her lips together and said seriously. “I won’t refuse the things the doctor asks me to do, or the treatment plans, because I’m afraid anymore.”

“…”

“I’ll try not to care about what others say, and I won’t hide from you like before.” Shu Nian raised her head, meeting Xie Ruhe’s gaze. She clenched her fists and expressed everything she wanted to say:

“I want to live with you, like normal people.”

I want to live with you.

Like normal people.

Living in this world that isn’t particularly beautiful, yet still beautiful.

Xie Ruhe lowered his gaze to study her face, then took her hand, slowly, gradually opening her clenched fist. The corners of his lips curved upward, his voice low, rich, and hoarse.

“Okay.”

That night.

Shu Nian told Xie Ruhe many things from the past.

She told him that when she saw Zeng Yuanxue in court, he showed no remorse for his actions. Even facing the lawyers and judge, he remained blunt.

Saying he felt too regretful, regretful that he hadn’t killed Shu Nian.

Because of this statement from Zeng Yuanxue.

After his death, recalling his expression when he said those words, Shu Nian still often had the feeling that he might return at any moment, jumping out from some corner to fulfill his regret.

She told him that she could understand Xu Zeyuan’s decision to break up with her back then, but couldn’t forgive him. His choice to save only himself had left her with emotional scars. Because of this, she worried that Xie Ruhe might someday choose to abandon her too.

And his recent behavior was something she couldn’t understand or forgive.

That boy born into a middle-class family, an only child endlessly spoiled by his parents, had always been praised by adults for his academic performance and appearance since childhood.

He should have been a slightly proud yet kind young man.

Yet he had become what he was now.

Shu Nian didn’t know why Xu Zeyuan had changed this way.

It seemed that after meeting again, he had undergone a major transformation.

He would angrily and impatiently grab her wrist, shouting at her to listen to him properly; he believed she was with Xie Ruhe for money, calling Xie Ruhe a cripple; he even abandoned all his upbringing, saying things to her that were difficult to hear.

Perhaps it was because he had chosen a bad path.

When he was splashed with indelible mud, he met Shu Nian again.

He had thought that after what had happened since he hadn’t chosen to stand by Shu Nian, her life was probably quite terrible. Yet he unexpectedly discovered she was doing well, with someone by her side who was much better than him.

He felt pain, extreme self-doubt, and self-loathing.

He wondered if he had made the wrong choice back then.

So he wanted to reclaim his former choice, wanted to pull her into his situation.

Even if it meant using any means necessary.

Finally, Shu Nian also told Xie Ruhe that she was a bit unhappy. Because he had previously rejected her suggestion to visit his grandfather.

She wondered if he hadn’t yet confirmed their relationship.

Yet she didn’t dare bring this up with him directly.

Hearing this, Xie Ruhe was somewhat stunned and confused, probably having completely overlooked this point. Bringing it up, his tone became somewhat stiff: “It’s not that I’m unwilling, it’s that I’m still angry with my grandfather.”

“…”

“So I don’t want to take you back under these circumstances.”

Shu Nian stuttered: “Why are you angry?”

“About what happened to you back then.” Xie Ruhe paused, saying expressionlessly, “He didn’t tell me.”

Hearing this, Shu Nian made a small sound of realization, saying softly: “Was it because you had that car accident then? But during that time, Grandpa Ji did call me.”

Xie Ruhe looked up.

“He told me he would help handle my information that had been leaked online.” Shu Nian recalled, “So at that time, it wouldn’t spread as widely as it does now.”

“…”

“He also transferred money to me,” Shu Nian rubbed her eyes. “But I couldn’t take his money, so I sent it back.”

Xie Ruhe suddenly couldn’t speak.

Shu Nian said earnestly: “Grandpa Ji is very kind, don’t be angry with him.”

Xie Ruhe was silent for a few seconds, then exhaled: “In a while, I’ll take you to see him.”

As soon as he said this, Shu Nian’s long lashes lifted, she blinked her eyes, suddenly raised her head, and happily kissed his lips. It wasn’t the first time she had done something like this, and this time she was much more practiced, the force not too strong.

She no longer bumped his teeth.

After her sneak attack, Shu Nian’s shyness caught up with her.

She moved back a few inches, crawling back under the blanket, her voice coming from underneath, sounding muffled: “Time to sleep.”

Xie Ruhe remained frozen in place, not moving.

After a while, he licked his lips, his almond eyes darkening, the corners tinged with a hint of red. He reached out his hand, through the blanket, like a predator lurking in the darkness, slowly pulling Shu Nian toward him.

Shu Nian’s head was still hidden under the blanket: “Why are you pulling me…”

Xie Ruhe didn’t respond, pulling her entire body into his arms, and then pulling the blanket off her head. Without any gap in time, giving her no chance to react, he directly kissed her.

He released her ankle, pressing one hand against the back of Shu Nian’s head, lightly biting her lip.

Then, Xie Ruhe pulled back slightly, his voice husky, his tone both commanding and seductive.

“Open your mouth.”

Shu Nian’s hands were still gripping the blanket, gradually tightening, bewildered and helpless.

The next moment, Xie Ruhe gripped her jaw, tilting it downward, and kissed her lips again.

Their breaths mingled, the bright yellow light spilling over them, their shadows intertwining.

At this closest distance, the feeling was real.

Shu Nian was slightly breathless, unconsciously making muffled sounds in her throat.

Her hands gradually rose, pressing against his chest.

Shu Nian forgot to close her eyes, her light brown irises reflecting Xie Ruhe’s image. His forehead was smooth and full, his eyes lowered, not meeting her gaze.

It was a distance that couldn’t be any closer.

Then, Xie Ruhe looked up, seemingly noticing her gaze.

He raised his hand and covered her eyes with one hand.

Shu Nian immediately closed her eyes.

The room was intimate and ambiguous.

Everything seemed like a fuse—this night, this light, this atmosphere, her sudden kiss.

Xie Ruhe’s lips moved downward, the warm sensation brushing past her earlobe, stopping at her neck, leaving faint marks.

His exhaled breath seemed to take form, touching every corner of her body.

Gentle, passionate, yet seemingly comforting.

His hands touched her, his fingertips cool, making her instinctively shrink back. Shu Nian had never experienced such intimate things before; her eyes welled up with a layer of misty water.

Because of this unfamiliar sensation, Shu Nian’s consciousness suddenly cleared somewhat. With a flushed face, she grabbed his hand, but what she said wasn’t rejection. Her voice was soft, trembling: “T-turn off the light.”

Xie Ruhe’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down, his eyes tinged with crimson, emotions surging like waves.

“Nian Nian is afraid of the dark,” he said hoarsely. “We can’t turn off the light.”

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