Qing Xia looked at him provocatively, patted her hands demonstratively like a show of force, her eyes full of mischief, though the corners of her mouth couldn’t help but smile.
Fortunately, the clothing was black, so apart from some wrinkles, nothing else could be seen. Chu Li glared at her sullenly and muttered, “Just my bad luck.”
Desert nights were always beautiful. The moon seemed to hang within arm’s reach, large and round, a brilliant golden orb. Thin clouds drifted back and forth across the sky, swaying and floating. The desert stretched white under the moonlight, resembling the snowy plains of the north. Qing Xia hugged her knees, the red firelight illuminating her face with an indescribable beauty. Time seemed to have left no traces on her—after all these years, those eyes remained as clear as ever, sparkling with intelligent light and sharp brilliance.
Chu Li tilted his head to look at her and suddenly asked, “Qing Xia, do you find me repulsive?”
Qing Xia was startled, not understanding why he would bring this up, frowning as she said, “What are you talking about?”
“On the way back tonight, my men encountered a group of migrating Xiongnu civilians—about two hundred or so. Before we even drew our weapons, the men in that group charged at us with knives. One man ran while shouting that the man-eating devils had come and telling his wife and children to flee quickly. Southern Chu’s black dragon banner is now like a death’s skull flag—everyone fears it and avoids it like a snake or scorpion.”
Qing Xia turned to look into the man’s eyes and said indifferently, “Do you care about such things?”
“I suppose I should care,” the man gazed ahead and took a deep breath, saying, “Even if I didn’t care before, I care now. Actually, no one in this world wants to be born hated by others. It’s just that many times, I have no control over myself.”
Qing Xia lowered her head and said slowly, “I know. This time, to save me, you killed many people.”
“I had no choice,” Chu Li said heavily. “I tried my best to conceal my tracks, even traveling by night and hiding by day to reduce casualties. But among the Xiongnu, everyone is a soldier—even the old, weak, women, and children refuse to yield. They are all spies for Guli A’shu and Yan Hui, searching everywhere for my whereabouts. Even when I deliberately avoided them, they would come looking. Once the army approached, they would drop their wolf knives and pick up hoes and whips, pretending to be honest civilians. When we turned to leave, scouts and reconnaissance riders would follow in large numbers. If Guli A’shu, Yan Hui and the others had detected that I brought a large army into the desert, not only would you and I have died in the Northwest, but they would have taken the opportunity to attack Southern Chu. At that time, my Great Chu’s people might have faced the same fate.”
Qing Xia bit her lower lip lightly. A cold crow suddenly flew across the vast desert, its voice harsh and broken.
“War is like this—innocent civilians are always the first to be affected by the flames of war. We each have our own positions, our own people to protect. You needn’t worry too much about it. In chaotic times, human lives are worthless. This is fate.”
Chu Li smiled lightly, his voice low like solid ice of early spring sinking into water, gradually melting coldly: “Yes, everything is fate, not a bit under human control.”
“Chu Li?” Qing Xia frowned, looking at him with a grave expression, puzzled as she said, “What’s wrong with you? This doesn’t sound like something you should say.”
Chu Li breathed deeply, then heavily exhaled and sighed, his voice carrying a trace of bitterness as he slowly said, “When I was young, I resented Mother Empress and Father Emperor. I hated them—why did they so favor Second Brother while despising me? That hatred gradually fused into my bones and blood as I grew up. During those ten years in Eastern Qi, day and night I secretly swore that someday I would trample all those who humiliated me underfoot and humiliate them with methods a thousand, ten thousand times more vicious. Later, I finally achieved it. Though I lost much, I still achieved it. From then on, no one could bully me or look down on me anymore. But before I could be happy, I discovered that all of this was just a scheme. My Second Brother, whom I had been most jealous of, angrily told me how he envied me, how he hated Mother for being unfair and giving me all the opportunities. All my hatred suddenly became so ridiculous and laughable. The person I had deeply hated was actually the one who had led me step by step to this throne.”
Chu Li untied the wine pouch from his waist, pulled out the stopper, tilted his head back for a drink, and continued, “I comforted myself thinking that perhaps Mother did love me—otherwise, why would she use her life as the price to put me on the throne without revealing the truth? But such love was too heavy and too bloody. How many times in life did I nearly die from such love? Back then in the Qi imperial palace, it wasn’t just Qi An—after I ascended to the crown prince position, assassinations from my brothers in Southern Chu were countless. If I hadn’t uniquely gained Empress Dowager Xiao’s favor among her many male favorites, I might have died in Eastern Qi long ago. At that time, I was only sixteen, while Empress Dowager Xiao was already over fifty. Even now, whenever I think of her bloated, fat flesh, I still can’t help wanting to vomit.”
Chu Li’s gaze suddenly turned sinister. His fingers went white as he gripped the wine pouch tightly, his face iron-blue, his eyes seemingly burning with flames.
“I always wanted to forget those past events. If anyone mentioned them and I found out, I would definitely have them executed without mercy. But gradually, I realized that the one who truly remembered wasn’t others—it was myself. I hate that weak, incompetent self from back then, hate those shameful, degrading days. But I had no other choice. On all sides were cliffs and cold arrows in ambush. I was alone with no external help, no foundation, no background. All I could rely on was myself. Others say my personality is moody and unpredictable, but only I know that I’m just afraid—afraid of losing, afraid of failing, afraid of having nothing and living those days again. People who haven’t experienced it may never understand that true degradation isn’t poverty or lowliness—it’s having no dignity.”
“Chu Li.” Qing Xia’s voice was somewhat hoarse. She reached out, wanting to hold Chu Li’s hand, but he dodged away.
The man turned to look at Qing Xia, staring steadily at her as he said word by word, “Qing Xia, I can’t compare to him. When you needed someone most, when you should have been able to trust someone most, the person by your side was never me. In this world, only he alone was qualified to compete with me for you. Because he was there, I was willing to step aside and fulfill your wishes. But now, he’s gone, and I still can’t take care of you.”
Qing Xia bit her lower lip lightly, slowly took a breath, reached out persistently to grasp Chu Li’s hand, and said softly, “You didn’t find the high elder of the Shaman Doctor tribe, did you?”
Chu Li nodded heavily, his face full of regret and self-blame, his voice low and heavy: “I’m useless.”
“Chu Li, don’t be like this,” waves of emotion surged over her heart like ocean tides. She gripped Chu Li’s hand tightly, gently shaking her head. “After going through so much, we shouldn’t be saying these things to each other anymore. Over these years, what you owe me, what I owe you—how can we calculate it clearly? I’ve never feared death, only feared not being able to die meaningfully. For five years, I haven’t died alone in the desert, but instead can die by your side—this is already heaven’s blessing to me. Don’t easily risk danger for me anymore, alright?”
Qing Xia suddenly smiled brilliantly, her eyes bright as she said, “I’m healthy and strong now—I don’t know how well I’m living. How could I die? I’ll keep living. I want to see you unify the world, encompass the four seas, recover the four barbarian lands, and shock all within the seas. I want to follow behind you and watch you establish immortal achievements. I still have so many wishes unfulfilled—how could I die?”
Qing Xia slowly opened her arms, leaned against his chest, embraced his waist, and said in a soft voice, “I won’t die, absolutely not. I’ll keep my eyes open waiting for that day. Don’t worry.”
In this world, there is a type of man who is brilliant, extraordinary, possessing all the beauty that ordinary people dream of. Meeting one is the greatest fortune in a woman’s life.
However, meeting two is the greatest misfortune.
The night was cool as water, with cold wind blowing into the distant tent, scattering the thick documents on the desk. Among the densely written, elegant small characters, the title page bore four slightly larger characters: “Political Strategy Compendium.”
The night wind grew stronger. Qing Xia was lightly dressed and shivered slightly, her complexion appearing increasingly pale, even her lips losing their color. Seeing this, Chu Li picked up the cloak that had been discarded on the ground, draped it over her shoulders, and pulled her back to the tent.
At the entrance to the main tent, Qing Xia suddenly grabbed Chu Li’s sleeve and asked seriously, “What do the Xiongnu tribal leaders really want when they seek you out?”
“It’s not exactly bad news,” Chu Li said with some amusement. “They want to open markets with Great Chu for mutual trade.”
“What?” Qing Xia raised her eyebrows and exclaimed, “How can this be? Most of the Xiongnu people died at your hands, and they still want to open markets with us at this time?”
“This isn’t particularly strange. As the main theater of this war, the Xiongnu desert suffered severe losses. Oases and grasslands were burned, countless cattle and sheep were lost, and most of the young men in the tribes died in the war. With winter approaching, how will the remaining old and weak survive? Moreover, most of those who came to negotiate trade with us are nobles who weren’t involved in the fighting. They control most of the Xiongnu’s land and slaves and possess large amounts of gold and silver—they just have money but no market. Now that Guli A’shu has fled in panic to the deep desert and lost the Great Khan’s restraint over the grasslands, these nobles naturally have to plan for themselves.”
Qing Xia nodded and asked, “So how did you respond?”
Chu Li said gravely, “Since it does us no harm anyway, and you made so many preparations before, I simply went with the flow.”