The night wind stirred my skirt. After a while, I finally found my voice: “Why are you still here?”

When we were seeing Afen off, the students from Zhuang Xu’s dormitory had also come. I hadn’t paid much attention to his whereabouts, but why hadn’t he gotten on the bus?

His eyes flickered. “I was standing behind you. If you couldn’t get on, naturally I couldn’t either.”

His words sounded like an accusation. I recalled my miserable experience of being pushed from the front to the back, and couldn’t help feeling a bit embarrassed. “Sorry.”

“You should say thank you.”

His voice was soft, but I heard it. Though confused, I didn’t dwell on it and asked, “Where are the others?”

“Don’t know.” He answered curtly after a pause, seemingly sulking.

It wasn’t such a terrible sin to have made him miss the bus. I was about to say something casual before parting ways when his phone rang.

He took out his phone, looked at the glowing characters on the screen, and then answered.

“Hello.”

…

“I couldn’t get on.”

The other person was probably asking where he was. Was it Rong Rong’s call? As I was speculating, I was startled to hear him say: “I’m with Nie Xiguang.”

My heart skipped a beat.

His conversation was coming to an end. After saying “okay,” he hung up.

“Your roommate’s call?” I guessed, thinking he wouldn’t have mentioned being with me so directly otherwise.

He gave me a deep look and said, “Rong Rong’s.”

I was momentarily speechless, then finally asked, “What did she say?”

“They’re already on the bus. She told us to take a taxi.”

“…Then let’s take a taxi.”

He nodded.

I felt my pockets and realized that seeing Afen off to the train station had been a spontaneous decision – I hadn’t brought any money. Even the coins for the bus had been given by Xiao Feng. Feeling embarrassed, I said, “I didn’t bring any money. Do you have any?”

He looked at me, his eyes appearing particularly deep in the evening light. He paused as if considering whether he had brought money, then said, “I don’t have any either.”

“What?” I was dumbfounded. “What should we do?”

He gave me another look and took the first step: “Walk.”

I remained standing where I was. He walked a distance, then stopped and turned to look at me from afar, saying nothing, just maintaining his silence. I pressed my lips together, then started following him.

I never imagined that after everything that had happened, we would be walking together on this empty road on such a night.

Just walking, not talking to each other, yet it made me increasingly restless. Finally, I had to start counting my steps to keep my mind from wandering and overthinking.

As I was starting to recount for the Nth time after losing track, I suddenly heard Zhuang Xu’s voice carrying in the night wind: “You didn’t use my thesis.”

When he spoke, I lost count of my numbers again. After a pause, I said, “Mm, it wouldn’t have been right.”

I thought this would end the topic, but unexpectedly, he persisted in asking: “What wouldn’t have been right about it?”

I was at a loss for words. Should I say it was because this thesis was written as your apology to Rong Rong, and that’s why it didn’t feel right?

“…Because you wrote it.”

“Is that so? You won’t take things I write?” His tone was questioning. “In our junior year, when we had just met, you asked me for reference papers for our major courses…”

You didn’t give them to me then either, I answered bitterly in my heart. Besides, I had already written something randomly then; I just wanted an excuse to interact with you more.

“…Let’s just say my thinking has improved.”

I didn’t want to remember past events at all; every detail seemed so foolish that I wished I could destroy all evidence. Fortunately, only he and I knew about it.

But maybe Rong Rong would know too? When they were together, would he tell her about me, share the foolish things I’d said to make her smile and pout?

This thought was terrifying, verging on obsessive. I didn’t want to walk with him anymore. This quiet night, this empty road, none of it was suitable for two people like us.

My steps slowed down.

“You go ahead,” I said. “I’m tired. Don’t wait for me.”

He stopped and frowned at me. “Just how pampered are you…”

…I was just making an excuse…

His gaze fell to my feet, his furrowed brows expressing strong disapproval. “Why did you wear these kinds of shoes? Only caring about looking pretty, not at all…”

He seemed to realize his tone wasn’t appropriate and abruptly stopped.

I looked down at my innocent high-heeled sandals and couldn’t help defending them: “I didn’t expect to walk today, and these are just normal shoes. They’re in fashion this year; everyone in our dorm has a similar pair.”

And if I remember correctly, Rong Rong was wearing similar heels today. Indeed, when you dislike someone, even their choice of shoes becomes wrong.

“Is that so?” He paused before saying, “I hadn’t noticed.”

I was silent for a moment, then asked, “Zhuang Xu, do you disapprove of me that much?”

“Think I’m lazy and don’t strive for progress…”

The last words about being pampered remained unspoken – they felt incongruous with who I was. When I was young, my parents were busy with work, and I was left at my grandmother’s house in the countryside for quite a while. Didn’t I get along just fine? At most, I’m just a bit physically lazy now… Does that count as being pampered in his eyes?

“Yes.” He answered the first half of my question without hesitation.

…He never gives me any face.

I couldn’t help saying, “But what’s wrong with that? Does everyone need to have some grand goal? Isn’t it enough to be happy yourself without bothering others? Why think so much about it?”

He listened in silence, saying nothing. He clearly wouldn’t agree with me; he was the type of person who not only had goals but was determined to achieve them. I don’t know why I was telling him these things, maybe I just wanted him to understand that while I might be casual, it’s just my nature. I like living this way, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I remembered a test I recently did with Jiang Rui about eating big or small grapes first. “There’s this test that asks whether you’d eat the big grapes or small grapes first. I’m probably the type to eat the big grapes first. If I ate all the small ones first, I might not have the appetite for the big ones anymore. If I can be happy now, why think so far ahead?”

He said softly: “What if there were never any big grapes?”

“Ah…”

I froze, thinking of his family background, and suddenly felt a sharp pang in my heart. Never before had I felt my words were so meaningless.

“No, there was one,” he suddenly said. “But the only big grape was driven away by me.”

Driven away by him… was it Rong Rong? I recalled that during recent group meals, they hadn’t sat together and barely talked…

Imagining slim, graceful Rong Rong transformed into a round grape made me want to laugh despite my dejection, but seeing his serious expression, I didn’t dare laugh out loud. I just said, “She’ll come back.”

“Really?”

Zhuang Xu asked earnestly, making me feel as if my answer was important. But I wasn’t Rong Rong.

Yet his urgent need for a positive answer made me nod involuntarily; perhaps he just needed some reassurance from someone.

“Really,” I said with absolute sincerity.

He didn’t speak again, just smiled, as if suddenly relieved.

I had never seen Zhuang Xu smile like this before as if the mist had cleared and moonlight had broken through the clouds. I was dazzled by his smile, and when I came to my senses, I felt even more dejected.

Such a smile wasn’t for me, and I would never see it again. Driven by this sudden melancholy, I called out his name, “Zhuang Xu!”

His eyes still held traces of his smile. “What is it?”

For a moment, I wanted to say something, to make one last effort, but then I suddenly remembered – hadn’t I already made my last effort many times before?

Besides, back then I didn’t know about him and Rong Rong’s mutual feelings. Now that I know, shouldn’t I keep my distance?

“Nothing, just calling your name.”

He stared at me unblinkingly, as if wanting me to say something more.

“Just calling…”

Something like disappointment seemed to cloud his eyes, but I thought I must have seen wrong, figuring he probably just found me annoying and was getting impatient.

After a moment of silence, he looked away, “There seems to be a shoe vendor a few steps ahead. You should change your shoes.”

This late and there are still vendors? But it wouldn’t matter anyway.

“I don’t have money, remember?” I had to remind him. “Didn’t you say you didn’t bring any either?”

He seemed to be at a loss for words.

“Let’s just keep walking, it’s not because of the shoes,” I said.

After that, we didn’t say anything more, just walked at a steady pace back to school. At the fork in the road to the dormitories, I said a long-contemplated “goodbye.”

I was about to force myself to take a step when I heard him say: “I’ll walk you to your building.”

“No…” I wanted to say it wasn’t necessary, but when I looked up and saw his expression, so gentle and tender in the night, the words caught in my throat.

Such an expression shouldn’t be directed at me at this moment, right? So maybe it wasn’t for walking me back? Maybe Rong Rong was waiting for him downstairs?

Why should I be presumptuous enough to refuse then? So I said nothing and walked silently toward the dormitory. As we got closer, I couldn’t help looking toward the building’s entrance to see if, as I suspected, Rong Rong was waiting there.

The area below was empty.

I was somewhat surprised, but this didn’t make me particularly happy.

I wished Rong Rong had been waiting there; then I could have gone upstairs cleanly, putting them both out of my mind, instead of being like this now, dwelling on those few extra minutes we had alone together.

How pitiful.

And now I had to say “goodbye” again.

This time it was goodbye, with no extra stretch of road left for him to accompany me.

We both stopped simultaneously in front of the dormitory entrance.

For a moment we were both silent; I had lost the decisiveness I had when saying goodbye earlier. Perhaps that kind of strength was only enough for one use.

I stepped onto the stairs but couldn’t help turning back.

“Zhuang Xu.”

“Mm?” He hadn’t left yet, standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at me when I called. I had never seen him from this angle before, so I never knew that when he slightly lifted his head to look at someone, he could look so handsome.

Driven by an inexplicable emotion, I said without thinking: “You look better with shorter hair.”

Preferably wearing a white shirt and light blue jeans…

Just like that day when I was eating at my uncle’s house, heard the door, ran to open it, and saw that young man.

“Hello, is this Mr. Jiang’s house? I’m Zhuang Xu,” that young man had asked politely.

And I had stared at you blankly: “Zhuang Xu?”

You had answered calmly and naturally: “Yes.”

I was stunned as if that moment was right before my eyes.

“Anything else?” He wasn’t impatient, asking me with infinite patience.

“No,” I lowered my head.

Silence fell between us again, completely out of topics to discuss. I should go upstairs, but I couldn’t bear to leave. We would never have time like this again.

If only the night would never end.

If only the stars would never set.

If only you could stand here with me forever.

But there were no more “if only,” none left. Today was the ending.

Even though it was a moment of parting, my mind was filled with thoughts of forever, shamelessly standing there without saying goodbye, in silence, and he surprisingly didn’t speak either, silently standing with me.

But how long could this moment be delayed? I took a deep breath and looked at him.

“I’m going up now.”

I ran upstairs and watched him from the second-floor window. He was almost out of my sight. Before the green trees completely obscured his figure, I suddenly couldn’t control myself and called out to him loudly.

“Zhuang Xu.”

He stopped and turned around.

He was too far away now; I couldn’t see his expression clearly, so he definitely couldn’t see what I looked like either.

So I cried freely without any restraint, waving to him with all my might.

Goodbye, Zhuang Xu!

I still like you, like you, but somehow I feel at peace now.

It’s enough to know that you’ll always be somewhere out there, Zhuang Xu.

And from now on, not liking you anymore, the sky is vast and the sea is wide.

End of University Section — That night we parted, one person thinking of goodbye, one person thinking of the future.