I didn’t know what to say.
It seemed neither did he.
Amid our turmoil, he drove me back to the company dormitory. We didn’t exchange a single word the entire way, and even when I got out of the car, he just nodded.
I watched his car drive away until it disappeared.
The next morning, unsurprisingly, I had dark circles under my eyes again.
Before the work day officially began, I found myself involuntarily glancing several times at his empty office. When work hours started, the office remained empty.
Soon, General Manager Zhang called me into his office. “Little Nie, has Director Lin contacted you?”
I shook my head.
“His phone is turned off when I call.” Zhang seemed anxious but after looking at me, didn’t ask anything more. Instead, he brought up my father, exchanged a few polite words, and sent me out.
Throughout the morning, I looked at my phone several times but ultimately didn’t call.
In the afternoon, Manager Zhang held a brief meeting with our department, saying that in the near future, we should report directly to him as Director Lin had taken leave to travel.
Just traveling…
I felt relieved deep down, but inexplicably, my chest tightened.
I called my father and described the whole incident in an emotionless tone. I had intended to keep all personal feelings out of it, but by the end, I couldn’t help adding one sarcastic comment.
“Father, isn’t this a case of like mother, like daughter?”
Ma Nian Yuan’s mother had rejected my father for being poor back then, choosing what she considered a better match. Now Ma Nian Yuan wouldn’t even visit Lin Yusen after his accident. She probably only told my father about it to play the victim. Did she think Lin Yusen would try to hold her responsible?
It was infuriating, ridiculous, and utterly despicable.
Several days passed, and Lin Yusen still hadn’t appeared. I couldn’t help wondering where he had gone. Was he alone, or traveling with friends?
Would he go so far that he’d forget about me?
No, no~ what was I thinking?
But I couldn’t help myself from inexplicably browsing travel websites.
In the blink of an eye, it was Friday. At lunch, while heading to the cafeteria with Yin Jie and others, the receptionist called out to me.
“Nie Xiguang, you have a letter.”
Since the prevalence of email, I haven’t received any paper letters. The thick envelope in my hand had a strange texture.
Yin Jie curiously peered over: “What kind of letter is it, a love letter?”
I instinctively stuffed it in my pocket, casually saying, “Bank statement.”
Yin Jie immediately lost interest, speculating about today’s cafeteria menu. While absently responding, my hand gripped the letter tightly in my pocket.
While queuing in the cafeteria, I secretly pulled out a corner of the letter—
That flowing, unrestrained handwriting.
It was Lin Yusen’s.
I forced myself to wait until after work to read it.
I had already promised Mom I’d go home this weekend, so after work, I took my things to the bus station.
I chose to take the coach back.
As the bus drove along the highway from Suzhou to Wuxi, I gazed at the extending road outside the window, wondering if this was where Lin Yusen had his accident. What had he been thinking when he drove me back along this same road?
Back then, he thought the person sitting beside him was the one who had invited him over, then abandoned him, causing him to never be able to pick up a scalpel again.
Thinking of this, I could no longer resist. I took out the letter I had touched so many times from my pocket and carefully opened it.
The envelope was thick, but mostly with postcards. The letter itself was only one page.
“Xiguang, I first saw you at Madam Yu’s party. It was a party I didn’t want to attend, everything was so boring, far less interesting than reading medical journals at home. Until I saw you.
You were angry at a girl then, drawing everyone’s attention. I should have felt sympathy for the girl you were scolding to the point of tears as everyone else did, but I was completely captivated by you, thinking you looked so brilliant.
[I had such an imposing moment? Probably performed beyond my usual self in anger? That time when I saw Father bring Ma Nian Yuan to my godmother’s birthday party, I was furious. Bringing that woman’s child to a family friend’s party, how could my mother bear it? Especially since that girl loved to play the victim—looking wronged before I’d even said anything—so I just let loose.]
I knew I had to find a way to meet this girl. Fortunately, Jiaqi introduced me to his friends, including you. I’m now certain you didn’t notice me at all then, leaving you without any impression of me. I tried to approach you naturally, but you soon disappeared from the party. I thought perhaps there was no need to rush, I could first make a more complete plan.
So, when I received your invitation to view plum blossoms a few days later, I was overjoyed.
That day, I had performed an extremely successful surgery. After leaving the operating room, I drove to Wuxi. I never imagined it would be my last time wielding a scalpel.
I had an accident on the highway.
Though my life wasn’t in danger, I could never be a top surgeon again. It wasn’t just my hands, but also my eyes. During that time, lying in the hospital bed with bandages over my eyes, I wondered if this was the price I paid to meet that girl. I wouldn’t blame or resent her, I didn’t even tell anyone I had the accident while going to meet her, but why wouldn’t she come to see me even once?
In that darkness, you became my heart’s demon.
And never ceased to be.
So when I heard from others that you were interning at this company, I left Shengyuan headquarters for Suzhou. But I never expected you wouldn’t recognize me at all.
Of course, you wouldn’t know me—the person who invited me to Wuxi wasn’t you at all.
But Xiguang, I have always, always come for you.
—You became my heart’s demon.”
I stared blankly at the letter.
Actually, from beginning to end, it was Ma Nian Yuan who had hurt him so badly, so shouldn’t she be his heart’s demon?
No, no, no, as soon as this thought emerged, I immediately deleted it.
How could it be anyone else? In Lin Yusen’s eyes and heart, he had always thought of—
…
Me!
“I have always come for you.”
Though just words on paper, I could already imagine Lin Yusen’s appearance and tone in my mind, that gentle yet deep voice…
I unconsciously pressed my face against the cold bus window, as an unprecedented strange emotion rose in my heart. I couldn’t tell if it was happiness, anger, heart-pounding excitement, or something else.
Suddenly, I had an impulse. I took out my phone, found his number, and before I could think it through, my finger had already pressed the dial. The other end didn’t give me any chance to regret, connecting quickly.
But neither of us spoke. After a long time, I finally broke the silence.
“Lin Yusen.”
He seemed to only then confirm it was me, “Xiguang.”
“I received your letter.”
“Mm.”
“The postcards are beautiful.”
“I’m glad you like them.”
“Are you still traveling… when will you come back?”
There was a pause on the other end: “I’m at the train station now, arriving in Suzhou tomorrow morning.”
“Mm… to get to Suzhou, you usually pass through Wuxi, right… why don’t you get off at Wuxi?”
I don’t know how I managed to say those words, but after I did, I fell silent, and so did he. After a long while, I heard him ask softly: “Xiguang, are you sure?”
“…Mm, what time will you arrive in Wuxi? I’ll come pick you up.”