And so, at six in the morning in the depths of winter, I stood on the platform at Wuxi High-Speed Rail Station, holding our city’s most famous—and most notorious—sweet meat xiaolongbao.
With the Spring Festival less than two weeks away, the station was crowded. Standing amidst the bustling crowd on the platform, I stood on tiptoes looking in the direction of the incoming train, my heart somewhat nervous.
Would Lin Yusen find it strange to see me waiting on the platform? Usually, people wait at the exit, don’t they? Coming to the platform might seem too ceremonial.
Should I run to the exit now?
While I was hesitating, the train arrived. The white carriages whooshed past me, gradually slowing down until I could see the passengers through the windows.
I saw Lin Yusen.
I don’t know how I could be so certain it was him from just a fleeting side profile.
But I had already unconsciously started running alongside that carriage.
The train had slowed considerably, keeping that figure constantly in my sight. I watched him stand up and take down a black suitcase from the overhead rack, and then a woman in a blue coat seemed to say something to him. He nodded and took down a red suitcase as well.
The train came to a complete stop.
As the carriage doors opened and passengers began filing out, when that familiar tall figure emerged from the carriage, I instinctively ducked behind a pillar.
By the time I realized the exit wasn’t on my side, Lin Yusen had already walked some distance. I hurriedly caught up, quietly following behind him…
Really, what was I doing?
Soon I discovered I wasn’t the only one following him—the woman in blue had caught up to him, and I faintly heard her thanking Lin Yusen.
“Thank you for helping with my suitcase earlier. It was too heavy for me to manage.”
Lin Yusen slightly inclined his head without speaking.
Listening from afar, I felt inexplicably proud—he was here because of me; otherwise, he wouldn’t even be stopping here, let alone helping you with luggage.
But immediately after, I felt ashamed of this inexplicable pride.
The woman in blue seemed to want to say more, but Lin Yusen’s distant attitude made her stop, and she awkwardly walked away.
Following behind him, watching him wordlessly dismiss the enthusiastic woman, I couldn’t help feeling happy, my steps suddenly becoming lighter.
I suddenly discovered that secretly following him, freely observing his tall figure from behind was quite enjoyable, so I decided not to call out to him yet. However, just as I made this decision, the person in front suddenly stopped.
He abruptly turned around, his gaze falling directly on me.
After a moment, he strode toward me, staring intently at my face as if to confirm something. “Nie Xiguang?”
…
How did he discover me…
I looked up at him: “Yes.”
“How are you here?”
I deliberately looked around, avoiding his gaze. “Oh, you don’t know how cold it is at the exit. I was freezing even in my coat, so I just bought a ticket to wait in the hall—it has heating. And since I had the ticket, I came down to the platform. Otherwise, if they didn’t clip one ticket, how could the train leave?”
I thought he would mock me, saying it’s not an airplane, trains don’t wait for people, but unexpectedly, he put on a very agreeable expression: “That’s true. Miss Nie’s ticket is so important, how would the train dare leave without clipping it?”
“…Hey!”
He smiled slightly: “Didn’t I tell you eight o’clock?”
I made a “hmph” sound twice. He dared to bring this up.
“You did say eight o’clock, but I checked the train schedule. Trains from there arrive at six in the morning or ten o’clock. There isn’t any eight o’clock train. Why did you lie?”
Before asking this question, I had already imagined his answer, something like… not wanting me to wake up too early…
But unexpectedly, he sighed and said: “I was afraid you’d say, ‘Lin Yusen, forget it, it’s too early, I can’t get up. Just go back to Suzhou by yourself.'”
I couldn’t help feeling both annoyed and amused: “I wouldn’t do that!”
“Mm, now I know,” he said, looking at me seriously.
I had thought seeing him again would be awkward, but just now it wasn’t at all—it felt as casual and relaxed as before. However, under his current gaze, I suddenly didn’t know what to do with my hands and feet.
Slightly avoiding his gaze, I said teasingly: “By the way, quite impressive.”
“What?”
“I saw earlier, the lady in blue.”
He smiled: “Does that earn points or lose points?”
I was stunned for a moment before understanding his meaning, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “What points? I’m not good at math…”
Before he could speak again, I hastily thrust the box in my hands at him: “For you, I bought you xiaolongbao.”
The steaming xiaolongbao had turned into frozen buns by now. It was probably silly to get takeaway xiaolongbao in the dead of winter, but… well, I just had a moment of impulse.
“There’s a nice café next to the exit, let’s eat there.”
“Alright.”
Seeing him answer so quickly, I couldn’t help warning him: “They’re very sweet.”
He smiled: “Is that so? Then they’re perfect for now.”
I lowered my head, afraid my involuntarily curving lips would betray the stirring in my heart. “Let’s go!”
This time I ran ahead.
Perhaps because it was so early, the café was quiet with few customers.
The server enthusiastically helped heat our xiaolongbao, and even thoughtfully brought vinegar, which surprised me. After breakfast, we slowly walked toward the parking lot.
“Would you like to go sightseeing? Wuxi doesn’t have much to see, and Lake Tai is too cold now.” I tried hard to think of attractions. “We could go see Lingshan Temple, at least its dome is beautiful, or the Three Kingdoms City and Water Margin City? Or maybe Yuantouzhu…”
I was rambling on until his voice interrupted.
“I always thought you would take me to see the plum blossoms.”
I stopped abruptly.
Remembering what he wrote in his letter about receiving my invitation to view plum blossoms, and how overjoyed he had been, my heart couldn’t help but ache. Taking a breath of cold air, I deliberately said cheerfully: “Sure, let’s go to the Plum Garden. It has the cheapest tickets—you’re helping me save money!”
I had driven here myself. Though I’d ridden in Lin Yusen’s car many times, after reading his letter, I suddenly didn’t want him to drive, feeling somewhat worried. So when we reached the parking lot, I decisively claimed the driver’s seat first.
As expected, Lin Yusen didn’t obediently go to the passenger seat, but stood outside the driver’s door, bending down to politely tap on the window.
I opened the window.
“There’s snow on the roads. Let me drive.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust your driving skills…” I had planned to make up some excuse to stop him from driving, but suddenly thought, maybe we’ll have many chances to go out together in the future. I can’t make excuses every time, so I seriously changed course, “…I don’t trust your driving skills.”
Perhaps I had wounded his pride too much… he was momentarily speechless, looking at me with an expression that seemed to want to laugh but couldn’t, then sighed.
I urged him: “Get in, get in, or the plum blossoms will wilt!”
I drove confidently through Wuxi’s winding roads, seriously navigating each street, but as I drove, something felt wrong… The shimmering water ahead must be Lake Tai. How did I end up by the lake?
I slowly pulled over to the side of the road and took out my phone. Before I could open the map app, the person beside me calmly said: “You took the wrong turn at the intersection ahead.”
I silently turned to look at him.
“The road sign indicated you should take the right path, but you took the middle one.”
“…Why didn’t you say something earlier…”
“Oh.” He said seriously, “I thought someone who was looked down upon didn’t have the right to give directions.”
My expression must have been very strange because Lin Yusen looked at me and couldn’t help but burst out laughing.
I was thoroughly embarrassed and annoyed, turning the steering wheel dejectedly to go back, but Lin Yusen stopped me.
“Don’t turn back, this place is good.”
“What?”
Lin Yusen said: “Look over there.”
Following his gaze, I saw large patches of red clouds suddenly entering my view, seeming to be blooming plum blossoms.
I drove a bit closer and parked on the small path by the roadside. Sure enough, getting out of the car, we found ourselves in a large plum forest.
I didn’t know when so many plum trees had been planted along Lake Tai. Now was the season for plum blossoms, and after the recent snowfall, snow gently pressed on the blossoms, blooming quietly yet brilliantly here by the rarely visited lakeside.
The waters of Lake Tai gently lapped against the shore.
Lin Yusen and I quietly walked among the plum trees, neither speaking for a while, only the sound of our shoes crunching in the snow.
“So, you always thought I was the one who invited you to see plum blossoms two years ago? Is that why you treated me that way at first in the company?”
After a while, Lin Yusen answered. “Yes.”
“Then why did you later…” I stopped speaking, “Even though in your heart I had abandoned you.”
“I couldn’t help myself.”
I stopped and looked at him.
“I found many reasons to convince myself. Perhaps Jiaqi hadn’t explained clearly, or maybe you were too young then, unable to face something so heavy, so you selectively forgot—there are medical cases of this. Or maybe you didn’t know my Chinese name, since Jiaqi introduced me as Vincent, and you happened to forget what I looked like, so you couldn’t connect me with that person from two years ago… I found many reasons, each full of holes, but I convinced myself to believe each one. Otherwise, how could I allow myself to pursue you again?”
“Not moved at all!” I wanted to throw a snowball at him. “You didn’t even ask me, just blamed me. Am I that kind of person?”
“You’re not.” He exhaled dejectedly. “But Xiguang, apart from you, I never thought it could be anyone else. From beginning to end, I never considered it might not be you.”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“If my father hadn’t inadvertently exposed this, were you planning to never let me know?”
Lin Yusen didn’t answer, clearly confirming it.
I felt a surge of frustration, but beyond that frustration arose more tender heartache. To think there was such a person willing to bear the pain alone for me, willing to remain constant even after believing I had betrayed him…
A lake breeze blew, making snowfall from the plum blossoms in flurries.
“Why did you suddenly leave without a word these past few days?”
Making me… so worried.
“How could I face you?” His voice was rough. “I always thought I couldn’t hold a scalpel anymore because of you. I had finally convinced myself to accept it willingly, but in the end, it turned out to be because of an unrelated person, a mistake?”
He laughed self-mockingly, “I didn’t even know how to explain it to myself.”
“My life became a complete joke.”
My heart ached dully.
But for a moment, I couldn’t utter a single word of comfort, as if language had suddenly lost its power, everything becoming pale and weak.
“Nie Xiguang, when did you meet him?”
I was stunned for a moment before realizing he meant Zhuang Xu. I didn’t know why he asked this, but still answered: “Summer break between junior and senior year.”
“A year and a half.” A bitter smile touched his lips. “These past few days, I’ve often thought about what you said.”
“…What?”
“You said ‘I wish I had met you first.’ But now, I wish I was the one who met you later. Then I wouldn’t feel resentful, wouldn’t think about how we could have been together if not for this misunderstanding. But,” he said, “I was the one who met you first.”
I don’t know what magic those words held, so plain yet piercing me instantly, along with his earlier “my life became a complete joke” making me sad beyond measure. I blurted out almost instantaneously.
“I’ll be with you from now on.”
He was momentarily shocked and dazed, and then his eyes seemed to ignite, burning so intensely it made my heart tremble, but that light quickly disappeared. “Xiguang, I want us to be together, but not because of a moment’s impulse.”
I stubbornly said: “What if it is a moment’s impulse, do you want it or not?”
He gazed at me quietly, finally seeming to surrender as he pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly.
His coat was a bit cold, but soon his embrace became warm. I could hear my own heart beating frantically, but I didn’t want to break free at all.
After a while, I heard him say decisively by my ear: “I do.”
Then he repeated, his voice carrying a slight weariness, “I do.”