Because we rented our car, our time in Chengdu was completely free and unplanned – we usually only decided where to go the night before. But somehow this seemed to match the city’s character perfectly, allowing us to blend in seamlessly.
Xiao Xie flew back to Suzhou the next day, but Lin Yusen continued staying in his room, waking me up each morning with different breakfast options.
Traveling together is truly an intimate thing.
If you’re already happy being with someone in daily life, traveling together is like concentrated happiness.
We didn’t even do anything particularly special. We just drove to Dujiangyan together, walked through the city’s famous streets and alleys together, sat in teahouses drinking tea and enjoying the breeze together, and shared every delicious dish…
But how can I describe this feeling?
The world seemed to become brand new, with even the most ordinary things becoming fresh and interesting. Every morning I’d wake up full of anticipation, wanting to share and discuss everything I saw and heard with him.
It seemed we had endless topics to discuss.
Even after talking all day, when we returned to the hotel at night, we would still lean against each other on the sofa and continue talking.
I told him about my complicated feelings toward my father – not wanting to deal with him but feeling guilty about ignoring him. He told me he once felt the same way about his grandfather.
I told him about my childhood life with my grandparents in the countryside. He told me various stories about his childhood in the old apartment complex, and we made plans to visit both places sometime.
I would take him to eat the best-baked flatbread in the countryside, and he would show me the jujube tree at the entrance of the old apartment complex that bore lots of fruit every year.
Of course, we often had long periods of silence too…
It’s terrible – I discovered that after traveling to Chengdu, not only had that inexplicable desire to be close to him not diminished, it had gotten even stronger.
I seemed to find it increasingly difficult to part from him, even if just for a few short hours at night, knowing we’d see each other again early the next morning.
Fortunately, he seemed to feel the same way.
In my room, on the sofa, after another long silence, he paused and sighed deeply, “Tomorrow I’ll definitely go straight back to my own room without looking back, otherwise it’s too much of a test of self-control.”
“That’s what you said yesterday too.” I leaned against him, my voice soft but not too soft to point out his insincerity.
“Don’t expose me.” He chuckled, his warm breath brushing my ear before he gently kissed me again…
The day before we were set to leave Chengdu, we received a call from Manager Qi.
We had just left the Chengdu Giant Panda Base. Lin Yusen was driving while I sat in the passenger seat, passionately arguing about the injustice faced by other provinces in China.
“Why aren’t there pandas in other places? Take Wuxi for example – we have so much bamboo, but no pandas grow there. Is that fair?”
“No need to be so jealous.” Lin Yusen wisely consoled me, “Whether or not pandas grow in your area, nobody gets to touch them anyway, so it’s still fair.”
That’s when Manager Qi’s call came in. Since Lin Yusen couldn’t answer while driving, I picked up the phone and glanced at it, slightly excited, “It’s Manager Qi, could it be…”
“Put it on speaker.”
I did as he said, and Manager Qi’s thick Sichuan accent immediately filled the small car cabin.
“Manager Lin, have you left? Still in Chengdu?”
“Haven’t left yet, just coming back from the Panda Base.”
Manager Qi laughed, “Pandas are great, everyone who comes to Chengdu has to see them. Manager Lin, your girlfriend’s here and I haven’t treated you to a meal yet. How about this – tonight I’ll find a good restaurant and host a welcome dinner for you?”
…This welcome dinner was quite late, considering we were leaving tomorrow.
Lin Yusen smiled: “No need for Manager Qi to spend money. We’re leaving Chengdu tomorrow, and we plan to explore the city center tonight. I’ve already made dinner reservations.”
“Leaving tomorrow?” Manager Qi’s voice instantly rose, no longer hiding his purpose, “Then I must treat you! I also have some things I’d like to discuss further with Manager Lin.”
“There’s no need.” Lin Yusen’s tone remained unhurried, “We’ve discussed everything that needed to be discussed. Our company understands Manager Qi’s thoughts…”
“No, no, no.” Manager Qi anxiously interrupted Lin Yusen, “Manager Lin, you don’t understand, you’ve misunderstood. Let’s meet and talk properly.”
Lin Yusen smiled slightly, quietly continuing to drive.
I leaned over to study his expression. Hmm… looks like Manager Lin wants to negotiate the price again.
After a while, Manager Qi carefully called out: “Manager Lin?”
“Alright.” Manager Lin finally agreed, “My girlfriend can’t handle spicy food very well, I’ll trouble Manager Qi with the arrangements.”
“No trouble at all, no need for such formality! I’ll text you the restaurant details once I’ve booked it.” Manager Qi hung up delightedly.
“I’ve gotten much better at handling spicy food these past few days, you know.” I protested as I put the phone back, then asked him, “Are you planning to negotiate the price down more?”
“We’ll try. Manager Qi needs money urgently right now.”
“Then…” I rolled my eyes thoughtfully, “How about you introduce me as the major shareholder’s daughter at dinner? I’ll be responsible for being unhappy the whole time.”
Lin Yusen instantly understood, his eyes crinkling with amusement, “As you wish, young miss.”
So during dinner with Manager Qi that night, would you say Lin Yusen and I put on quite a good show?
I felt like I’d inherited a bit of President Nie’s acting skills, gradually performing the role of someone impatient, unhappy, and unconcerned about money.
My lines were particularly characteristic, such as:
“Why are we buying second-hand equipment? We’re not short on money, can’t we afford new equipment? Who knows what problems it might have.”
“My friends, all know I’m starting a business, how can I face them if we’re buying second-hand equipment? And it’ll be outdated soon anyway – who could we sell it to then, just scrap it?”
“If you’re worried about the budget, I can have my family transfer money to the company account.”
It’s lucky Manager Qi was far away in Chengdu – if this were in the Yangtze River Delta region, I wouldn’t dare act like this. After all, I would be doing business there in the future, so I had to maintain some image.
As for Lin Yusen, he played along perfectly, being completely deferential and barely daring to speak under this young miss’s intimidating presence.
Finally, Manager Qi, heart bleeding, voluntarily lowered the price somewhat and agreed to cover the shipping costs before I stopped objecting. He quickly grabbed Lin Yusen to finalize the details.
We didn’t push too hard on the price. After all, favorable policies had been coming out recently, and while many people were still watching and waiting, the bold ones had already started making moves – why else would other companies be competing with us for the equipment? It was only because Manager Qi urgently needed money to fill other holes that we could negotiate any price reduction at all.
The next day, as we were about to return to Shanghai, an anxious Manager Qi had the contract remade with the revised prices according to the previous terms, affixed with the company seal, and had someone deliver it to us at the airport.
Because we waited for the contract delivery, we didn’t have much time after security and went straight to the departure hall. Unexpectedly, the flight was delayed, and it was extremely crowded. We barely managed to find two seats.
In this noisy environment, Lin Yusen carefully read through the contract.
“No issues.”
He put away the contract just as Manager Qi called again. Lin Yusen stopped playing hard to get and readily agreed to pay the full amount as soon as the equipment arrived at the factory.
During their conversation, Manager Qi must have said something that made Lin Yusen suddenly laugh, “Oh no, we’re not as famous for that as you Sichuan men, though we do have a national reputation.”
What wasn’t as good as Sichuan men? My curiosity sparked, and as soon as he hung up, I quickly asked: “What were you talking about? What are we less famous for but still nationally known?”
Lin Yusen coolly tucked his phone into his pocket with a proud gesture, “Being henpecked, afraid of our wives.”
Me: “…”
Not wanting to waste my tiger-wife reputation, I commanded him, “Then go buy your… girlfriend something to eat.”
Lin Yusen took issue with my attitude, “Shouldn’t you be gentler and say something nice when asking me to do something? I’m only going to be afraid of my future wife, not my girlfriend.”
“…If you won’t do things now, there won’t be any upgrade later.”
Lin Yusen seriously contemplated for a few seconds, then compromised: “An effective threat.”
He stretched his long legs and stood up gracefully: “Alright, my precious girlfriend, what would you like to eat?”
Just then my phone rang. I glanced at it – an unknown number. I answered while telling Lin Yusen: “Of course, you have to figure that out yourself. Get it right and you’ll upgrade to Girlfriend 2.0.”
“Sounds like a long road ahead.” Lin Yusen shook his head and sighed as he went to buy food. I said “Hello” on the phone, but there was no response. I said “Hello” twice more, but still no one spoke, so I hung up, confused.
Must have been a wrong number.
After hanging up, I remembered I hadn’t replied to Jiang Rui’s morning text, so I decided to call him.
The call connected quickly, and I got straight to the point: “I haven’t gone back yet, I’m at the Chengdu airport. Why are you asking if I’m back? Are you planning to treat me to dinner?”
Jiang Rui said: “Nothing, just asking.”
Huh, I mentioned him treating me to dinner, and he didn’t jump up to protest loudly?
“When I get to Shanghai, I still need to visit Grandpa Sheng with Lin Yusen, then I’m heading back to Suzhou. Probably won’t have time to meet you this time.”
“Oh, Sis… did you have fun in Chengdu?”
“Of course, I sent you photos, didn’t I?”
He “oh-ed” again, seeming to have something he wanted to say but couldn’t.
I couldn’t help but wonder, “What’s wrong with you?”
He was quiet for a moment, then seemed to make up his mind, “Sis, there are some things I think I should tell you.”
“Then tell me.” What could be so hard to say – was it about relationships? I inexplicably thought of that girl we met at Xinjiekou before, “Did something happen between you and that girl?”
“What are you talking about?” Jiang Rui exclaimed, “It’s about Brother Zhuang!”
I frowned suddenly.
After his outburst, Jiang Rui’s words began flowing smoothly, “Yesterday on the train back to Shanghai, I ran into Zhuang Fei. After we got off, Brother Zhuang came to pick him up, and when he saw me, he suggested we all eat together. I couldn’t refuse, so I went along. We ate for quite a while, and Brother Zhuang asked about my study abroad experience during the meal but didn’t mention you. Later, Zhuang Fei asked me what my sister was doing now, and I said you were working in Suzhou. I was a bit childish and deliberately showed off, saying you were so happy with your boyfriend now that you barely paid attention to me anymore. Zhuang Fei was shocked and immediately asked if my sister had a boyfriend. I said yes, that you got together with someone quickly just before the New Year. Brother Zhuang hadn’t said anything the whole time, but somehow after I said that, his expression changed dramatically. Later, after he drove us to school, he turned back to ask me, ‘When did your sister get together with Lin Yusen, just before New Year?’ I figured there was no harm in telling him, so I said yes, and his face seemed to grow even darker. Sis, was it okay for me to say this? Is there some key point I’m missing?”
Jiang Rui asked very perceptively.
I was silent for a moment, “There’s no key point, it’s fine.”
“That’s good then.” Jiang Rui sighed in relief, “There’s one more thing, I might as well tell you everything.”
“I’ve been struggling with whether to tell you this since New Year’s. Before you came to Nanjing for New Year’s, Auntie Zhang suddenly mentioned to me that Brother Zhuang had come to our house looking for you. Auntie Zhang told him you went abroad to study with me. Auntie Zhang said ‘study abroad’ – I confirmed with her several times. She’s still confused about it now, even asking me back, ‘Didn’t you two go to study abroad? Didn’t I say it right?’ She said Brother Zhuang stood at the door for a long time before leaving, even forgetting his umbrella. It was raining heavily outside, and when she ran to the door to call him back, he had already disappeared.”
“Sis, do you remember? When we went abroad, because we left in such a hurry, your phone didn’t have international roaming activated. Even if he called my phone, I might have been unreachable due to the time difference or having my phone off… he… probably couldn’t find us. That’s why during New Year’s, I kept taking you to Xinjiekou every day, hoping we might run into him, leaving it to fate to decide. If I hadn’t gone abroad to study, Brother Zhuang would have found you, and now you might… Sis, I can’t help but think, if it weren’t for me, maybe you…”
“Jiang Rui,” I interrupted him.
Jiang Rui stopped.
“Thank you for taking me to study abroad,” I said. “I feel happier now.”
“Really?” Jiang Rui pressed.
I knew why he was so uncertain, even though he had seen how I was with Lin Yusen.
Because he had also seen my relentless pursuit of another person, my all-out love.
He was afraid I would be left with regrets.
My brother wouldn’t take anyone’s side; he just wanted me to be with the person I loved most. But how could I tell him that while that love was real then, its complete disappearance now was equally real?
Sometimes I wonder myself – could I change hearts so quickly? Lin Yusen and I have only been together for a few months, even shorter than the time I liked Zhuang Xu. Could I completely let go of the past and accept another completely different person filling my thoughts and life?
With a sense of anticipation, I looked into the distance.
The tall, handsome man happened to emerge from around the corner at that exact moment. He was carrying two drinks and a large bag, walking unhurriedly toward me, backlit by the intense sunlight streaming through the airport’s floor-to-ceiling windows.
The light, along with my mood, became gentle and warm at that moment.
This person walking toward me – was intelligent, determined, understanding, open-minded, brilliant, free-spirited, and interesting.
To me, he seemed to possess all the virtues in the world.
With him, I never needed to be cautious, never needed to second-guess, and could selfishly take what I wanted, and give without hesitation.
Perhaps I did change hearts too quickly, but if you’ve experienced love as intense and open as the sun, who would still care about flickering, unstable fireworks?
“Of course it’s true,” I said seriously to Jiang Rui on the phone. “Love without equal response, compared to mutual affection, doesn’t stand a chance.”