Ji Yingying saw the shock and anger in Zhao Xiuyuan’s eyes. Yes, she was lying to him, but wasn’t he also deceiving himself? She remembered meeting him behind Zhulin Temple’s mountain last year during the spring festival when he tried to give her a hairpin. Fearing her mother’s scolding, she had refused to accept it, deliberately teasing him: “Why should I wear your hairpin when I’m not going to marry you?”
Zhao Xiuyuan had laughed then: “If you don’t marry me, who else would you marry?”
With her quick temper and sharp tongue, she had challenged him: “Then why don’t you send a matchmaker to propose? When the matchmaker comes, I’ll consider whether to accept or not.”
He had stamped his feet in frustration: “Fine, just wait. After my eighteenth birthday, I’ll send a matchmaker to propose. You dare refuse?”
Her heart had been so sweet then, running away from him on the mountain, laughing as she went: “I won’t accept!”
She had never imagined they would end up like this. Everything seemed to change overnight as if the world had turned upside down. Looking back, she had been such a naive girl. Single-minded and straightforward about everything. Living carefree and happy, she had never understood the barriers of family status, social class, and duty that stood between two people. She had never known the helpless suffering that lay behind seemingly simple lives.
But now that veil had been lifted. She was no longer that carefree Ji Yingying.
“Let go. No matter how wealthy the Zhao family is, they can’t offend an official’s family. Brother Xiuyuan, you’re the Zhao family’s legitimate son, heir to the family business. Isn’t that why you agreed to the marriage your family arranged? I don’t blame you. Even if you don’t like Fifth Miss Niu, once she becomes your wife, you should respect her. What’s the use in coming to find me?”
Her arm throbbed with pain as Zhao Xiuyuan’s grip tightened, his eyes changing: “How could you forget me so quickly? Yingying, do you hate me? Do you hate that I didn’t keep my promise, is that why you gave the handkerchief to him?”
Ji Yingying, why didn’t you lie and say you were engaged to Third Young Master Yang? The Yang family’s doors aren’t so easy to enter either, are they?
Ji Yingying looked at him as her heart turned to ash piece by piece. She had still held a glimmer of hope. Hope that after so many years together, Zhao Xiuyuan will trust her. Her mother and brother were holding back, hoping she could explain things clearly. She gazed at him steadily and said softly: “I didn’t give it to him. Really.”
She hoped to see a hint of relief in his eyes. Even if their fate was ended, she didn’t want to part with such a misunderstanding between them, with him resenting her.
“Heh.” He didn’t believe her. Didn’t she know how important that handkerchief was to the Zhao family? To carelessly lose it, only for Yang Jingyuan to conveniently find it. The Yang and Zhao families were rivals. He couldn’t believe such a coincidence.
His laughter, coupled with his disheveled appearance, was truly unsightly. His grip was so tight as if all his resentment had transformed into strength, seemingly wanting to snap her arm. Ji Yingying’s forehead beaded with sweat from the pain as she tried to pry his hand loose, shouting: “Believe it or not, it’s up to you! Did a donkey kick your head? You’re getting married before the new year, what’s the use in coming to find me? Will you only be satisfied watching me waste away pining for you? If you can’t bear to part with me, why don’t you cancel the engagement with the Niu family?”
Her suddenly raised voice and expression frightened both Madam Ji and Ji Yaoting. Ji Yaoting, who had been barely containing himself, stepped forward to forcefully separate Zhao Xiuyuan from Ji Yingying, shielding her behind him: “Second Young Master Zhao, is there anything wrong in what Yingying said? You can’t marry her, and our family doesn’t blame you. Why come making trouble so early in the morning? Are you hoping my sister will become your concubine? I truly misjudged you. If you truly cared for her, how could you bear to put her in such a difficult position?”
Zhao Xiuyuan stumbled from the push, all his pent-up resentment pouring out: “You think I’m not suffering? What choice do I have? I…” He paused, his voice gradually lowering, “I can’t bear to part with you. Yet you act intimately with Yang Jingyuan right in front of me. So cold and decisive. As if I’m the only one who’s hurting. When I saw that handkerchief in his hands, it felt like someone had stabbed me…”
When she had heard news of his engagement, her world had collapsed. Ji Yingying covered her mouth and ran back inside, crying.
Ji Yaoting’s anger gradually subsided, and he patted Zhao Xiuyuan’s shoulder: “Second Young Master, Yingying isn’t suffering any less than you. Please leave.”
A glimmer of hope rose in Zhao Xiuyuan’s eyes as he involuntarily stepped toward the room: “Yingying, you’re lying! You haven’t promised yourself to anyone! You still have feelings for me!”
A flash of skirts appeared before him. Madam Ji moved to block the doorway. Many years ago, she had been trapped in a courtyard with Master Ji by her sister’s scheme. Though nothing had happened, her mother-in-law’s disappointed gaze had pierced her heart like a knife, making her wish she could die of shame. She had raised her children as a widow. She had given her daughter enough freedom, not wanting to raise her to be as weak as she once was. She had also given her daughter the freedom to choose her marriage. But this didn’t mean she would allow Zhao Xiuyuan to push her daughter step by step into becoming his concubine.
“Everyone says the Zhao family’s legitimate son, Second Young Master Zhao, is intelligent and talented. Why would she need to lie to you? Can’t you understand? How difficult it is for a woman to live in this world? She’s willing to marry another for your sake. You’re about to welcome a bride, yet you continue to entangle her. Second Young Master Zhao, are you being fair to her? Even if my daughter still has feelings for you, I will never allow her to debase herself by becoming someone’s concubine. If that’s what you’re thinking, abandon the idea now.”
Madam Ji was already being polite. She stopped short of saying directly: you can’t break off your engagement, yet you come to entangle my daughter – if you think you can have it both ways, you’re dreaming!
Zhao Xiuyuan felt as if he was seeing Madam Ji for the first time. She stood straight-backed in the doorway, wearing a magnolia-white silk dress, her hair neat in its bun, her gaze cool and distant. He suddenly felt a sense of déjà vu. The image of Fifth Miss Niu, whom he had seen across the wide courtyard, flashed through his mind. In his impression, Madam Ji had just been a gentle merchant’s wife who kept a close eye on profits. How could she possess the bearing of a noble official’s wife? Zhao Xiuyuan couldn’t understand it.
But this unyielding attitude and tone were truly irritating! She was just a small dye house owner, a widow without a husband’s clan for protection, relying only on her maiden family’s support. Wasn’t she afraid of offending the Zhao family?
Zhao Xiuyuan’s gaze passed over Madam Ji toward the room, but the door curtain blocked his view. He bowed deeply to Madam Ji: “I had no intention of making Yingying a concubine.”
Madam Ji couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow.
Zhao Xiuyuan said self-mockingly: “I heard Fifth Miss Niu has trouble marrying due to her appearance. She would surely agree to let me take Yingying as an equal wife. I thought since Yingying and I grew up together, and she understands my difficulties, I could come early to discuss it with her.”
Equal wife? Madam Ji shook her head: “I can tell you right now. It’s impossible.”
Zhao Xiuyuan’s pupils contracted. This wouldn’t work either.
One was an official’s daughter, one of humble status. One scorned for her looks, one beloved. Yingying would only become a thorn in the side of the Niu family’s daughter. Did he think the Niu family was ordinary? They could raid the Zhao family’s home and there would be nowhere to seek justice. Using their power while mistreating their daughter – he truly dared to dream.
Unfortunately, the Ji family had declined, and she had no support in Sichuan. Madam Ji suppressed her urge to berate Zhao Xiuyuan, refusing him diplomatically: “Second Young Master Zhao. The Ji family is but a humble household, unworthy of such an association. If you truly care for my Second Miss, don’t let her future in-laws find fault with her. Eldest Son, see our guest out.”