HomeBurning As HerChapter 13: Too Little and Too Much

Chapter 13: Too Little and Too Much

When Xun Xun left, she got Xie Ping Ning’s permission to take not only her personal belongings but also the old cat. She didn’t like keeping pets, but the cat had been with her for three years and had long considered her its owner. Shao Jia Quan, who had originally ended its wandering life, had fled far away. Xie Ping Ning had kept it out of old affection, but he was too busy with work to ever care for the little creature. Moreover, if he cut off his connection with Shao Jia Quan, who knew what kind of life the old cat would have? It had already entered its twilight years, with dim eyes and several missing teeth. Xun Xun didn’t want to live a life of uncertainty. If even humans seek stability, how much more so a cat?

She returned to her maternal home carrying her heavy luggage. Sister Yan Li was still at the hospital. After settling the old cat, Xun Xun sat on the sofa, tightly clutching her small handbag. Inside were emergency funds she had collected from various hidden locations at home, along with all her stocks, dividend insurance, mutual funds, and one of the property certificates for the small apartment purchased after marriage.

Since becoming aware of money’s value, Xun Xun had never wastefully spent a penny. She carefully saved many fragments that others wouldn’t notice and never invested unless she considered it extremely secure. She could still account for how she spent and used every New Year’s gift money since she was fourteen. Theoretically, small amounts add up, and she should have had considerable savings, but most of the cash had been spent on Professor Zeng’s special medicine. The remainder mostly couldn’t be liquidated quickly, except for one fund called the “Nothing Left Fund.” As the name suggested, this money was meant for survival when she had nothing else left, like an astronaut’s ultimate safety plan in space – once activated, there was no turning back. Only Zeng Yu knew of its existence and had nearly died laughing at the time, but how much money it contained and where it was stored, no one knew except Xun Xun herself. In her heart, she hoped she would never need to use this money, but always felt there would inevitably be a time when she would need it – thinking about it either way was contradictory.

Now, everything was in her small handbag – it was her entire life’s worth. Even if Xie Ping Ning gave her nothing after the divorce, with these savings, she could at least hold out for a while, at worst maintaining herself until she found new work and started a normal life again. So she clutched it tightly – it was the only reliable thing she could grasp right now.

Xun Xun collected herself and began seriously considering how to make Sister Yan Li accept the fact of her divorce as calmly as possible – this was the primary issue that needed solving right now. However, at that moment, she received a call from her mother-in-law’s home.

As soon as Mother Xie heard Xun Xun’s voice, she anxiously asked her to come over immediately. Xun Xun’s heart jumped; she was about to ask why when she faintly heard Sister Yan Li’s crying voice over the phone. She immediately understood most of it, and her heart sank.

Arriving at her mother-in-law’s home with a sweating brow, Xun Xun pushed open the door to find, as expected, chaos. Sister Yan Li sat on the living room floor, her carefully arranged hair bun a mess, her heavy makeup smeared by tears – if Xun Xun hadn’t been so familiar with her body language, she wouldn’t have recognized her mother at first glance. Newspapers and magazines were scattered across the coffee table, two of Father Xie’s beloved blue-and-white porcelain vases were broken, and the Xie parents stood helplessly about a meter away from their in-law, Mother Xie sighing heavily while Father Xie repeatedly pushed up his glasses. Xie Ping Ning had arrived before her, his face full of helplessness and bewilderment.

“You’re finally here, quickly, help your mother up. If anything happens to her in our home, we’ll never hear the end of it,” Mother Xie said upon seeing Xun Xun as if seeing a savior.

Xun Xun suppressed the urge to faint and stepped forward to help Sister Yan Li. “Mom, what are you doing?” she asked tearfully.

“My daughter, your fate is as bitter as your mother’s! I misjudged them – if I had known their family was so heartless, I would never have pushed you into this fire pit!” Sister Yan Li, seeing her daughter appear, not only refused to get up but cried even more sorrowfully.

“How are we heartless? How have we wronged your daughter? In-law, you shouldn’t make such baseless accusations,” Mother Xie said urgently.

Sister Yan Li kicked her legs weakly and shouted, “You’re educated people, I can’t argue with you, but if I had dog’s blood, I’d splash it all over your faces. Our Xun Xun, a fine young woman, married into your family, slaved for your son, and now that your son is tired of her, you want divorce just like that? There’s no such reason under heaven!”

“Mom, stop talking nonsense, get up first, we’ll discuss this at home,” Xun Xun urged anxiously.

“Who said anything about divorce? Ping Ning? Who said you’re getting divorced?” Mother Xie, shocked, pulled at her son’s sleeve. Xie Ping Ning was thoroughly annoyed.

Amid Sister Yan Li’s crying and Xie Ping Ning’s explanations, Xun Xun finally understood the sequence of events. It turned out that just as Professor Zeng’s condition showed improvement, Sister Yan Li learned that the hospital had acquired an expensive medical device specifically for treating coma patients. Due to high demand, patients could only use it occasionally, and despite Sister Yan Li’s persistent pleading and maneuvering with the doctors, she couldn’t keep the machine in Professor Zeng’s room permanently. Desperate to help her husband recover quickly, Sister Yan Li thought of her son-in-law’s position at the Health Bureau and his role in a key department, so she called Xie Ping Ning, asking him to intervene and pressure the hospital to do him this favor.

When Xie Ping Ning received the call, he must have just watched his wife pack and leave home. Suppressing his emotions, he gave his mother-in-law – who might soon have “ex” added to her title – his response: he couldn’t force the hospital to grant such a favor. Sister Yan Li, disappointed and angered, remembered her daughter Xun Xun’s recent vague mention of him having someone else, and in her fury, accused Xie Ping Ning of disregarding his wife and her family.

Presumably, because Sister Yan Li’s words were too harsh and Xie Ping Ning was already upset, he finally couldn’t bear it anymore and told her the truth – that he and Xun Xun were about to divorce.

When Sister Yan Li heard the word “divorce,” she couldn’t take it. She threw down her phone and rushed to the Xie family home to argue. As luck would have it, the Xie parents had just returned from their morning exercise and walked right into it. Sister Yan Li’s combination of crying and cursing left the normally soft-spoken Xie parents at their wits’ end. Having no other choice, they called their son and daughter-in-law back, leading to this three-way confrontation.

“Need you ask? Your well-raised son, fooling around outside with shameless women – that would be bad enough, but now he’s so wretched he doesn’t even want his wife at home, actually having the nerve to divorce. Bah!” Sister Yan Li, though having been a hospital director’s wife for many years and having curbed her crude language, still retained her basic skills in verbal warfare.

Father Xie had high blood pressure, and hearing these words from his in-law, he immediately looked at his son in anger, his whole body swaying. Mother Xie quickly went to support her husband, naturally thinking of the suspicious circumstances of Shao Jia Quan’s return and sudden departure, secretly lamenting her good-for-nothing son, her face flushed with agitation.

“Ping Ning, ah Ping Ning, throwing away a perfectly good life, you… how can we even talk to you!”

Seeing his elderly parents enduring unwarranted accusations because of him, Xie Ping Ning felt terrible and hurried forward to help support his father.

“Whose fault is it for raising a son without teaching him properly? You claim to be a proper family, but in the end, you’re all doing sneaky things!” Sister Yan Li, seeing through her in-laws’ guilt, became even more emboldened.

Seeing his father’s ashen face, Xie Ping Ning threw aside all his good manners and, looking at Xun Xun who was crouching numbly beside Sister Yan Li, sighed deeply and said, “Xun Xun, you tell them, who proposed the divorce?”

Sister Yan Li paused briefly, glanced at her daughter, and continued berating, “Don’t think I don’t know, my daughter is an honest child. Even if she proposed divorce, it must be because you forced her into a corner!”

Xie Ping Ning laughed coldly: “You don’t understand your daughter at all. She has many more paths than you can imagine!”

“What do you mean?” Sister Yan Li didn’t understand his words.

“What do I mean? I don’t want to say it – your daughter knows best in her heart!”

Sister Yan Li grabbed Xun Xun so hard that her body shook. “Xun Xun, speak up! How did he bully you?”

The Xie parents also fell silent, looking from their son to their daughter-in-law.

“Speak! What are you afraid of? Speak, speak, speak quickly…” Sister Yan Li persisted relentlessly. The in-laws’ confusion, Xie Ping Ning’s coldness… Xun Xun didn’t know how to describe everything before her eyes. It seemed whatever she feared most would come back to haunt her with greater force. She covered her head and shouted: “Stop arguing! It’s my fault, I proposed the divorce, I was fooling around with another man… are you all satisfied now?”

Sister Yan Li froze like a paused character on screen for several seconds.

“Really? Is this true?”

Xun Xun didn’t answer, and neither did Xie Ping Ning.

“You wretched child, I raised you for nothing. How can you face me? How can you face your dead father? How can you face all the hardships we’ve been through? How can you face your uncle lying in the hospital bed…” Sister Yan Li, after accepting reality, began hitting her daughter randomly. Xie Ping Ning couldn’t bear to watch and pulled Xun Xun away, shouting, “Stop it! This isn’t the place for such a scene!”

“What business is it of yours? I’m disciplining my daughter if it weren’t for you…”

Before she could drag in the stars and moon above, Xun Xun stood up, straightened her clothes that had been messed up, and said indifferently, “Mom, I’m leaving first. If you still have any face, keep making a scene.”

She walked to the Xie family’s front door as if no one else was there. Xie Ping Ning, somewhat worried, stepped forward to stop her.

“Xun Xun…”

Xun Xun smiled slightly and said, “Don’t worry, when I say I’m leaving first, I’m just leaving, not going to kill myself – I’m afraid of death. Ping Ning, in front of everyone, I just want to say, that being caught by you all was my fault, but can you put your hand on your heart and say you have no guilt in our marriage?”

Xie Ping Ning remained silent.

“Fine, this is for the best. No need to notify everyone one by one.” Xun Xun thought, then turned back and bowed to the Xie parents. “Mom, Dad, this is the last time I’ll call you that. I’m sorry!”

She walked out of the Xie family’s building. The new sun had emerged, the sky an unbearably perfect blue. After twenty-eight years of following every rule, this was her first act of rebellion, and she was surprised to find that the expected feeling of deep sin wasn’t there. She went to the street to hail a cab, turning to see Sister Yan Li, her face like a Beijing opera mask, following step by step behind her.

Xun Xun turned to support her. Perhaps because this turn of events exceeded Sister Yan Li’s life experience, she was still sniffling with snot and tears, but had run out of new curse words. Xun Xun thought, good, finally some quiet.

Whether due to rush hour or Sister Yan Li’s truly frightening face, several taxis whizzed past them. After nearly ten minutes, when Sister Yan Li’s tears had dried, a car finally stopped – a brand new Volkswagen CC, a car that had been appearing with extremely high frequency in Xun Xun’s life lately.

“Xun Xun, what are you doing here?” Chi Cheng quickly got out and came around to her side, reaching to touch her hair that hadn’t been properly fixed since yesterday. “You look like an abandoned stray cat.”

Xun Xun looked skyward, not even bothering with a peep, slowly brushing away his uninvited hand.

Chi Cheng turned his attention to Sister Yan Li.

“You must be Auntie. You and Xun Xun look so alike.” He glanced at Sister Yan Li’s face, where eye shadow, eyeliner, powder, and lipstick had merged into one, then deliberately smiled at Xun Xun.

Xun Xun remained expressionless, not appreciating his “sense of humor” at all.

“She looked more like me when she was little, not so much now that she’s grown up,” Sister Yan Li replied hoarsely, wiping her nose.

Chi Cheng smiled. “Mother and daughter when young, sisters when grown. Xun Xun, get in!”

“Mom!” Xun Xun appealed helplessly to heaven. Before she could react, Sister Yan Li, crying until her legs were weak, had already voluntarily gotten into the car after Chi Cheng opened the door. Apparently, in her eyes, Chi Cheng was just a heaven-sent chauffeur, naturally there to rescue people who couldn’t get a taxi.

“Trust me, we can talk in the car. I’ll take you home,” Chi Cheng said while trying to usher Xun Xun into the car.

Xun Xun coldly assessed him: “Don’t tell me your appearance here is a coincidence.”

“I wish it were a coincidence, that would show our connection. Unfortunately, I came to deliver some small items Jia Quan left at my place to the Xie family. She never wants to see me again, but she still has to deal with the Xies. You just came from there too?”

Xun Xun didn’t want to discuss this. Seeing no way to get Sister Yan Li out of the car, and having no energy to be stubborn, she shook off Chi Cheng’s hand and said, “Stop pushing, alright? Thank you!” She got in beside Sister Yan Li and gave him an address.

“You’re not going back to the Xie’s?” Chi Cheng asked casually.

Sister Yan Li snorted, “What’s there to go back to when they’re getting divorced?”

“Mom, you’d live just as long if you said one less word!” Xun Xun knew there was nothing to hide – if he wanted to know, he’d find out eventually. But Sister Yan Li’s mouth had no filter; she didn’t care what should or shouldn’t be said.

Chi Cheng, while driving, turned to give Xun Xun a deep look but didn’t pursue the question.

Thank heavens he didn’t say, “Is it because of me?”

This relief lasted only a moment before Chi Cheng looked at her again and said, “Don’t worry!”

So he skipped even asking the question, never doubting that she was leaving for him.

Even Sister Yan Li caught on now, straightening her back.

“Oh… Oh! You’re that man she’s been seeing outside!”

“Auntie, I’m Chi Cheng.”

“It’s you? You’re the adulterer who made my daughter get divorced?”

Chi Cheng coughed again, “Chi as in Tianchi Lake, Cheng as in clearing up.”

“You did this for him? You’re confused!” Sister Yan Li said to Xun Xun.

Chi Cheng spoke before Xun Xun could: “It’s not her fault, it’s all mine.”

“Of course, it’s your fault!” Sister Yan Li wasn’t easily fooled. She retorted, then continued, “Is this your car?”

If the car hadn’t been going so fast, Xun Xun would have opened the door and jumped out right there.

“Hmm… sort of.”

“Either it is or it isn’t. You’re so young – you’re not some pretty boy who specializes in deceiving women, are you?” Sister Yan Li’s life experience finally came into play.

Chi Cheng laughed out loud, “Actually, the car was bought with my family’s money, though it’s in my name. But I’m starting to take over part of our family business here. Don’t worry, I’ll give Xun Xun a good life, and I’ll take good care of you too… Also, I’m not really that fair-skinned, but you have very fair skin – Xun Xun must have inherited her good complexion from you.”

“I’m old now, what use is fair skin? Are you a local?”

“Well, my mother is local…”

The intense interrogation began. Xun Xun suddenly laughed “Hehe.” She wondered if she was the only normal person in this car and if she was the only one who found this all ridiculous.

Fortunately, Professor Zeng’s home wasn’t too far. Xun Xun signaled Chi Cheng to stop, and she got out, finally escaping that abnormal space.

Chi Cheng opened the car door for Sister Yan Li, continuing their conversation.

“…In the future, Auntie, if you need anything, just ask. We’re family now, no need to be polite.”

“It won’t be that easy to win my daughter over. Her stepfather is still lying half-dead in the hospital…”

Xun Xun walked straight toward the building entrance. After a few steps, Chi Cheng caught up and grabbed her, saying softly, “Are you still blaming me?”

Xun Xun’s expression was strange. “I don’t blame you. Even if you’re a bluebottle fly, I can only blame myself for being a cracked egg… What are you looking at?”

“I’m looking to see how big the crack in your egg is, wondering if I can squeeze in.” Chi Cheng chuckled.

Xun Xun turned away without a word.

“Don’t be angry, I’m just worried you’ll make yourself sick keeping everything inside.” Chi Cheng gripped her wrist, finally serious. “If I apologize, it’s not because you’re divorcing Xie Ping Ning, but because you’re hurting. I know you’re suffering now like someone’s peeled off your skin.”

“Isn’t this what you wanted to see? What else do I have worth your scheming besides this skin? Give me a straight answer – when did I ever offend you? Please, can you forgive me? I can’t afford to play your games. What do you want?”

“Is it easier to believe I have ulterior motives than to believe I like you?” Chi Cheng embraced her despite her struggles and impatience. “Zhao Xun Xun, if I gave you time, money, and endless attention to scheme against someone insignificant, would you want to? Let me tell you, even if you had a blood feud with someone, you might not want to pursue it after enough time. You don’t need to ask when I started noticing you – you’re too used to thinking of things as both complex and tragic. Between a man and a woman, many things are very simple, without any reason. Why can’t you close your eyes and believe some things are meant to be yours?”

Xun Xun broke free from him. “You’re saying you did all this just because you like me? That’s even more terrifying – your way of liking someone would give me nightmares!”

“Extraordinary measures for an extraordinary person. Xun Xun, do you have a better way? Why don’t you show me the right path? I can do things your way. Whatever Xie Ping Ning can give you, I can too, and more.”

“It’s not the same thing.”

Xun Xun’s contentment with her marriage to Xie Ping Ning was largely not because she wanted “more,” but precisely because of that just-right amount of “less” – neither too much nor too little, neither dragging nor owing, stable and lasting, with no one letting anyone down. Although it had all fallen apart in the end, that didn’t mean she had to go to the opposite extreme.

Her unease with Chi Cheng came from his “more” – too much attention, too deep secrets, too intense emotions, too many unstable factors… It was like someone who just wanted a bowl of water being hit with turbulent rivers and seas, smashing their pitiful bowl – this wasn’t the life she wanted.

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