When Xun Xun unlocked her door, she thought that even Aunt Yanli’s critical gaze would feel incredibly warm at this moment. However, as she turned on the entrance light, she was greeted by a piercing cat’s cry and two dark shapes – one darting to her feet, the other accompanied by a fierce gust of wind flying straight at her face. Xun Xun dodged sideways, nearly throwing out her back.
Only after collecting herself did she realize that the “weapon” that had nearly made intimate contact with her face was a pair of embroidered slippers. The familiar peach-pink color belonged to the lady of the house. The furry bundle at her feet was the old cat she had brought back from the Xie family.
Xun Xun instinctively crouched down to pick up the old cat, which immediately curled up trembling in her familiar embrace. Before she could ask anything, Aunt Yanli appeared in her bedroom doorway, wearing only one slipper with her other foot bare, hands on hips, shrieking: “You’re back just in time. You’d better get rid of this wretched cat yourself before it dirties any more of my shoes.”
“What happened now?” Xun Xun sighed. Ever since she had brought the cat home, Aunt Yanli had found fault with it at every turn, constantly threatening to throw it out. But previously this antipathy had been limited to words, never escalating to such violent outbursts.
“If this cat stays in this house today, I’ll skin it alive and make soup!”
“Mom, it’s just a cat. Is it worth getting so worked up about?” Xun Xun felt uncomfortable hearing Aunt Yanli’s threat about making soup, though she knew it was just angry talk. But this was her mother’s home after all. She had already lost face with her mother by divorcing in such a way, that coming back to her parents’ home in disgrace was bad enough, let alone bringing a cat with her. She already felt guilty – it was decent enough of Aunt Yanli to shelter them. How could she stand up straight and talk back? Now she just hoped to get through one day at a time until the other tenant’s lease expired, then moving over there would solve everything.
Xun Xun guessed the old cat must have done something to enrage the “empress dowager.” She stood up holding it and said to Aunt Yanli, “Did it break something? Mom, please calm down first. If that’s what happened, I’ll compensate you double.”
Aunt Yanli let out a cold snort: “You’ll compensate me? Xun Xun, oh Xun Xun, are you sitting on a mountain of gold and silver or what? I say you can barely take care of yourself, why keep this thing? Not only is it filthy, you know I hate cats and dogs! You’re my daughter, so staying here is one thing, but I’ve put up with this cat for a long time. Today it absolutely cannot stay!”
Xun Xun was extremely troubled and tried to persuade her mother patiently: “It’s used to being cared for…”
Her sentence was suddenly cut off, silenced by a man’s voice.
“…I’ve rinsed it several times with water. Can you take another look – does this wound need a rabies shot?”
Under Xun Xun’s utterly shocked expression, Zhou Ruisheng walked out of the bathroom bare-chested while turning his head to check his back. He was only talking to Aunt Yanli, but when he suddenly saw Xun Xun, he was startled and hurriedly tried to cover himself with the towel draped over his shoulders. However, it was just an ordinary face towel – how could it adequately cover a man wearing only underwear? Covering just his chest made his pale, fat belly protrude even more, making him look even more ridiculous.
“Oh my, Xun Xun… Xun Xun’s back… I, I’ll go put on some clothes…” The pale, fat figure quickly squeezed through the gap between Aunt Yanli and the door into the master bedroom, disappearing from Xun Xun’s sight.
“What… what is he doing here?” Although the question was redundant, the answer was obvious, at this moment Xun Xun couldn’t find more appropriate words.
Aunt Yanli’s face instantly flushed with an unnatural red. Xun Xun now noticed that she was wearing only a loosely draped silk nightgown, her hair disheveled, the former dejection in her expression replaced by allure.
Xun Xun wasn’t a child. She understood clearly what had happened in this room before she returned. Thinking back now, Aunt Yanli’s earlier fury wasn’t just about the cat’s provocation – a large part came from her discomfort with this development.
Of course, Xun Xun hadn’t expected Aunt Yanli to remain faithful to anyone, whether her deceased father or Professor Zeng whose body was barely cold. She understood and even supported her mother in seeking a second spring in life, but why did it have to be Zhou Ruisheng? The “bastard cousin” in Chi Cheng’s words, her colleague at work, an extremely slick middle-aged man – this wasn’t Aunt Yanli’s springtime, it would only add frost to their already awkward situation.
“What’s wrong with him? You would have found out sooner or later anyway,” Aunt Yanli tried to sound righteous. “At my age, there’s nothing to be shy about. You can get entangled with men, but I have to live as a widow for half my life?”
“That’s not what I meant. But you two, you two… ah!” Xun Xun didn’t know how to say it. Although she had suspected her mother and Zhou might be involved, she never imagined she would so soon see a naked Zhou Ruisheng in this house.
“This is none of your business.” Aunt Yanli seemed to remember her absolute authority in this house, glanced at the cat still in her daughter’s arms, and successfully changed the subject: “Go to your room, but before that, get rid of this cat!”
She still wouldn’t let it go – the cat’s offense wasn’t minor. Xun Xun remembered the scratches on Zhou Ruisheng’s back. Under what circumstances would the old cat jump on his bare back and extend its claws? This cat had always been timid, and being old, wasn’t very active anymore. Most days it just slept under Xun Xun’s bed, and was even more cautious around strangers, unless something moving strangely attracted its hunting instincts.
The cat’s food bowl was right opposite the master bedroom door. Perhaps it had woken up and come out for water, and happened to encounter the two people who hadn’t closed the door properly… Just this thought was enough to make Xun Xun break down.
“Why are you still standing there holding the cat? Did you hear what I said?” Aunt Yanli persisted.
Xun Xun forced herself to speak calmly and reasonably. “It’s so late, and it’s freezing outside. How can it survive if we put it out? Even if we have to send it away, at least wait until tomorrow when I can find somewhere for it.”
“Why should I care whether it lives or dies? Others get divorced and are burdened with children, that’s one thing. But you – you didn’t have children, yet you voluntarily brought a cat from the Xie family. Are you afraid you won’t be miserable enough without a burden?”
As Aunt Yanli’s words became increasingly harsh, Zhou Ruisheng, now dressed, stood behind her and intimately complained, “We can talk things through nicely, why get angry at the child?”
He then turned to face Xun Xun, his face full of smiles, slightly awkward, repeatedly rubbing his hands. “Well… Xun Xun, I had a bit too much to drink today, really… hehe, really sorry about this, but your mother and I…”
“If you have any pity for me, please don’t continue,” Xun Xun interrupted him.
Zhou Ruisheng took good care of himself – approaching fifty, his face showed few wrinkles. Usually wearing a tie and glasses, he could pass for refined and cultured. But now as Xun Xun looked at his fair face with those shifting eyes, that pale flesh seemed to dance before her eyes again. She unconsciously held the old cat tighter, knowing it felt as nauseated as she did.
Zhou Ruisheng laughed awkwardly, holding a towel in his clasped hands – the same one he had brought out from the bathroom draped over his body earlier. Xun Xun tried to shift her attention, and think about blue skies, clouds, and oceans… but she couldn’t ignore the fact that it was her towel!
She wanted to explode but couldn’t make a sound, as if a small voice kept reminding her: this is Aunt Yanli’s house, this is Aunt Yanli’s house, they can do whatever they want. The house had an old layout with only one bathroom. She could already imagine future days of sharing space under the same roof with Zhou Ruisheng. Today he casually borrowed her towel – what would it be next time, her toothbrush?
“That wound on your back still needs proper treatment. I’ll go with you tomorrow to get a shot. Let me deal with this cat first.” Aunt Yanli aimed at Xun Xun again. “This cat usually acts so weakly, yet it dares to hurt people? If it weren’t for you, I would have dealt with it long ago. Don’t try to dodge the issue – make it leave right now!”
Xun Xun wasn’t good at arguing. Her face turned red with suppressed emotion, feeling her whole body trembling as much as the cat in her arms. After a long while, she finally squeezed out: “Fine, fine! It can get lost, and if I were sensible, I should get lost too!”
“Why are you talking back to me so harshly? If you had such backbone and ability, why did you need to come back here in the first place?” Aunt Yanli sneered.
Xun Xun immediately rushed into her room without another word, stuffed the old cat into its carrier, and started gathering her personal belongings. She was always extremely organized in her daily life, keeping important items in perfect order, so it only took a moment to pack everything. She grabbed the cat carrier and her luggage and headed for the main door.
Seeing the situation getting serious, Zhou Ruisheng rushed to stop her, but how could he stop someone like Xun Xun who rarely got angry once she was truly enraged? Besides surprise, there was also some regret on Aunt Yanli’s face. She might have indulged in a moment of sharp words, but after all, this was the flesh of her flesh – she probably never really intended to drive her daughter out. But Aunt Yanli cared about face, and couldn’t bring herself to say words of reconciliation. She could only maintain a hard exterior, half-mocking and half-advising: “Well, leaving just like that – looks like you’ve found somewhere else to go, got a strong backbone now. Let me tell you, it’s easy to walk out this door, but be careful not to get deceived by men. You might end up with nowhere to cry!”
Xun Xun opened the main door and turned back to her mother: “Mom, that last sentence is exactly what I wanted to say to you.”
Riding on her anger, Xun Xun left Aunt Yanli’s building without looking back. At first, she took long strides, but gradually her steps became hesitant. As she was about to exit the school gates, she called Zeng Yu, asking if she could temporarily stay at her place for a few days.
It was noisy on Zeng Yu’s end – she was at a construction site where the contractors had hosted a dinner, and she had planned to return to the city the next morning. Although Xun Xun hadn’t explained what had happened, Zeng Yu knew that with her self-reliant personality, she would never trouble others unless necessary. She immediately said she would wait and could drive back overnight.
The construction site was about an hour and a half from the city, and it was already late at night. Zeng Yu might have been drinking, so Xun Xun quickly discouraged this idea. If she just needed a place to spend the night, it wasn’t difficult – rather than causing such trouble, she could just find a hotel. The challenge was what to do after dawn; she couldn’t stay in hotels for over a month until she got her house back.
After briefly inquiring about Xun Xun’s situation, Zeng Yu readily offered that since Lian Quan was away, and she was usually alone anyway, Xun Xun could stay as long as she wanted. However, when it came to the cat, she expressed hesitation. Zeng Yu had rhinitis and was allergic to all furry creatures. After a moment’s pause, she gently suggested to Xun Xun that since the cat originally belonged to Xie Pingning, perhaps it could be returned to the Xie family. If she couldn’t bear to part with it, she could find a pet boarding facility to care for it temporarily until she was settled and could take it back.
The old cat restlessly shifted around in its carrier, extremely anxious about the unfamiliar smells and sounds of the outside world.
Cats are creatures of habit, extremely dependent on familiar environments. Sometimes Xun Xun felt that this cat was just herself in a fur coat – clearly with no place left in the old home, yet endlessly hesitant after stepping out.
Xun Xun thanked Zeng Yu and told her not to worry, saying they could discuss everything when she returned – perhaps by then she would have found a solution. After hanging up, no brilliant solution appeared, but Xun Xun knew she wouldn’t abandon this cat.
It wasn’t that she considered the old cat supremely important. She had cared for it for three years, not out of deep emotional attachment but from a habit of extending help when needed. This was how she treated most people, things, and matters around her – rarely rejecting them but also rarely becoming intimately close, usually maintaining a reasonable and safe distance. In a different situation, different mood, under normal circumstances, she would have agreed that Zeng Yu’s suggestion was the most rational. But on this strange and disorienting night, she suddenly questioned – what use was rationality? She had been rational for almost thirty years, and among all the madness around her, the one who thought herself clearheaded was the most laughable.
Xun Xun left the school. The streets were growing empty, the sound of car wheels on the ground particularly clear. Her hand holding the cat carrier was numbed with cold pain. Several night-shift taxis slowed down upon seeing her laden with bags and packages. She no longer worried about taxi fare, but she didn’t know where to go. The road grew quieter; a motorcycle whizzing past her arm startled her into clutching her luggage tighter. She couldn’t keep walking aimlessly on the silent streets at night – she had fled her mother’s home carrying almost everything she owned.
The most important small bag was slung across her body in the position closest to her. Xun Xun instinctively reached out to touch it, feeling its solid presence, which reassured her somewhat. Inside were her essential documents, her “Nothing Left Fund”… and an unused key, along with the door access card attached to it.
Someone had once said that whenever she wanted, she could use this key to open his door.
Xun Xun couldn’t even remember when she had put the key in that small bag. From beginning to end, she never thought she would have occasion to use it – or did another version of herself in her subconscious think differently?
She stopped walking and dazedly took out the key. The access card clearly showed the detailed address, down to the building and apartment number. What shocked her deeply wasn’t that she had kept them until now, but that she discovered a seed she had never properly acknowledged was quietly sprouting. That crazy thought pushed upward, clamoring, suddenly breaking through the thick soil covering her head.
He said he loved her.
He said the one who stayed behind to argue was the one who truly cared about her.
Behind him lay a fog-like mystery; he was unpredictable; sometimes he infuriated her to no end; he had never given her even a hint of security… but he had always left her an inch of space at the cliff’s edge. The ones who had disappointed her and left her heart cold were those she had considered reliable.
The nearest budget hotel was just ahead. There would be clean sheets, quiet space, and twenty-four-hour hot water. If Xun Xun walked just a few dozen meters more, she could temporarily put down all her burdens and get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow when Zeng Yu returned and the old cat was boarded, her life could return to its normal track.
But the place that key led to was in the opposite direction, and what lay there was completely unimaginable.
Xun Xun gripped the key tightly and turned helplessly in place. Street lights, car lights, billboards, and neon signs at street corners… countless lights seemed to merge into one as she quickly turned, bright yet chaotic, like a vast, boundless mirage. For a moment, she completely lost the ability to judge what was an illusion and what was real.
Was Chi Cheng’s affection reliable? Was his professed love true or false, and how long could it last? Would anyone in this world spend so much effort to act with you, to draw you in? If so, behind such painstaking effort must lie something he truly cared about – and she was so ordinary, what qualities did she possess to deserve this?
Xun Xun’s previous resistance came mostly from fear. She wanted to protect herself too much, watching every step, living cautiously, always preparing for tomorrow, but who could predict tomorrow? Being so careful watching her feet hadn’t made her walk more steadily than others – bad luck came when it came, and falls happened when they happened. Wasn’t tomorrow just made up of countless today’s? Wasn’t it too foolish to lose the present within reach for an unpredictable future?
The distinction between truth and illusion had never mattered to ordinary people. What did it matter if it was all an act, as long as everyone remained committed from beginning to end? Even deception was fine, as long as the deceived person always believed. The earthly life she had once devotedly believed in was just a bubble, so what was there to fear if this before her was indeed a mirage? Since there was no end in sight, why not settle contentedly in her castle before drinking the last drop of water?
Another taxi slowly pulled up, and this time, she got in without hesitation, asking the driver to turn around.
The taxi took Xun Xun to her requested location. With the access card in hand, moving through the residential complex was relatively smooth. A night security guard who encountered Xun Xun asking for directions even escorted her to Chi Cheng’s building.
Before inserting the key into the lock, Xun Xun’s fevered mind was blank except for the destination. With the sound of the lock turning, she began to wake from her trance-like impulse.
Once this door opened, waiting for her would not just be an unfamiliar room, but possibly another life path she had chosen for herself. And she hadn’t even thought to make a phone call to confirm if the person she was seeking refuge with was there.
Chi Cheng had said she could come anytime, but that assumed he was still in this city. What made her certain he wouldn’t leave? Just hours ago, they had argued like ancient enemies, and judging by his anger, he was serious. Company matters were in chaos, and as he had said at the dinner table, he could go anywhere he wanted. If he wanted to leave, he could abandon this mess at any time and enjoy his comfortable life anywhere.
Before she could retreat, the perfectly fitted key smoothly opened the lock. Xun Xun felt her scalp tingle. Taking a deep breath, she walked in.
If he hadn’t returned yet, she would turn around immediately and pretend she had never come.
If another woman was inside, she would return the key to him, disappear from his sight completely, and forget about the remaining half of her salary… though the year-end bonus could be collected through Chen Zhou, assuming her share still existed.
At times like these, Xun Xun’s awakened mind became devastatingly active, full of spineless ideas, instantly preparing multiple escape routes for herself.