Xun Xun ran hurriedly up the hospital stairway, struggling to keep her pace. She was supposed to take over from Zeng Yu this morning to care for Professor Zeng, but she had overslept. This rare occurrence left her anxious and flustered, worried that delaying Zeng Yu from work would lead to another argument.
Usually not so careless, her rush to make up time nearly caused her to collide with someone at the stairwell corner. It was a young man with slightly dark skin and defined features, his brow seeming to harbor some deep concerns. Xun Xun apologized profusely, but he didn’t seem to mind, merely nodding as they passed each other. After climbing a few more steps, she couldn’t help but look back, catching only his retreating figure.
Xun Xun quickened her pace further and hastily pushed open the door to her stepfather’s hospital room. Zeng Yu, who had been bent over her father’s bedside, raised her head at the sound. Xun Xun immediately noticed her exhausted expression, red eyes, and traces of tears.
“What happened?” Xun Xun instantly felt something was wrong. Had Uncle’s condition changed? She hurried forward to check, but Professor Zeng’s eyes remained closed, his breathing steady, showing no obvious changes.
Xun Xun handed Zeng Yu the eggs and milk she’d brought from home. “I’m late. Are you okay?”
“Thanks.” Zeng Yu placed the breakfast on the low cabinet beside the hospital bed. “I don’t feel like eating anything right now.”
“Don’t you have work today? Did the doctor say something?” Xun Xun asked puzzled, sitting beside her.
“The neurologists can’t help me. What I need now is a psychiatrist,” Zeng Yu said, slumping back over the bed.
“Did you see…” Xun Xun’s words were cut short by Zeng Yu’s angry outburst.
“Can someone tell me why I’m always surrounded by scumbags, and of every type imaginable!” Her words made Xun Xun, sitting close by, feel somewhat uncomfortable, though she knew the comment wasn’t directed at her.
“Fought with ‘the most lovable one’?”
Zeng Yu’s eyebrows shot up in anger: “Hah! Most lovable? More like most shameless! No, I’m even more pathetic. Just yesterday, I was still thinking marriage to him wouldn’t be so bad!”
Xun Xun rubbed her nose and asked, “Wasn’t he quite nice? At least he didn’t seem like a bad person… I mean, just on the surface. Many psychopaths look perfectly normal.”
Zeng Yu said, “He’s not a bad person. He earned a third-class merit, received many commendations, saved lots of people during the earthquake, and often helped others in need. Maybe he could be called a hero, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s a scumbag when it comes to relationships!”
Xun Xun got up to call a nurse to change Professor Zeng’s IV drip, then prepared to sit down and hear a story about this “hero-scumbag hybrid.”
“What’s wrong with your foot?” Zeng Yu looked suspiciously at Xun Xun’s awkward gait. “Too much exercise last night?”
Xun Xun smiled awkwardly. How could she explain that while it was indeed from overexertion, her husband Xie Pingning hadn’t come home all night, and her leg soreness was actually from being inexplicably dragged up to the thirty-first floor? When Chi Cheng had dropped her home at dawn, he’d even had the nerve to say “Tonight was fun.” In truth, Xun Xun believed it would take her quite a while to recover from this kind of “fun.”
Fortunately, Zeng Yu was too preoccupied to pursue the matter. She sighed, “I talked with him on the phone for two hours last night. We agreed that as soon as his family visit leave was approved, he’d come to be with me. Once my father got better, we’d discuss marriage plans. Later, their Chief of Staff came to talk with him, and he said we’d chat tomorrow. When we hung up, he seemed reluctant to end the call. Then I suddenly remembered something I’d forgotten to tell him, but when I called back, his phone was unreachable. It stayed that way all night. This morning, I got a call from his number, but it was a girl’s voice! She called me ‘Political Commissioner,’ which left me completely confused. She was just as puzzled. After we talked for a bit, guess what happened?” By this point, Zeng Yu’s eyes were practically shooting flames.
“It turns out that in that scumbag’s phone, my number was labeled as ‘Political Commissioner,’ and obviously, the caller was his so-called ‘Chief of Staff’!
The girl met him in Sichuan. She idolized him, saw him as her hero, and he told her he’d marry her by year’s end. If he hadn’t forgotten his phone in the barracks during morning exercises, I might still be in the dark.”
Xun Xun hesitantly asked, “I want to know, between the Political Commissioner and Chief of Staff, which rank is higher? And are there any more powerful military leaders after that!”
Zeng Yu was on the verge of tears. “You hit the nail on the head! I was furious and asked the girl to check his contact list. Besides ‘Political Commissioner’ and ‘Chief of Staff,’ there were also ‘Company Commander’ and ‘Deputy Company Commander.’ We called each number – all women, all waiting to marry him by year’s end… And if you think that’s the end of it, you’re underestimating him. Finally, the ‘Chief of Staff’ angrily called the ‘Regiment Commander.’ Guess what? That turned out to be his wife back in his hometown! They were properly married with a certificate and everything, with a daughter in elementary school who still proudly believed in her military officer father!”
At this point, Xun Xun truly didn’t know how to offer comfort.
“This time I’ve stepped in it – even thirty years from now when I’m senile, I’ll still despise myself for this. You really shouldn’t spend too much time with scumbags, or you’ll be corrupted and then beaten at their own game! When I was with him, I told myself I didn’t mind that his family was from the countryside, or that he was just a junior officer, or even his lack of education. As long as he was good to me and truly loved me, that would be enough. But it all turned into a huge joke. Xun Xun, tell me, am I just stupid? Every time I give my whole heart, what do I get in return? Is it that I don’t love enough? Or am I loving the wrong person? Or is it just bad timing? Once might be a chance, but time after time… I can’t figure out what’s wrong!”
Xun Xun scratched her head, “Well… I think happiness has nothing to do with effort, or personality, or IQ, or education, or character, or background…”
“Then tell me what it does have to do with!” Zeng Yu was nearly hysterical.
Xun Xun stammered, “It seems like it has nothing to do with anything.”
That’s what she believed. Happiness isn’t related to anything; it’s completely random. You might wait half a lifetime, cry through countless nights, pour your heart and soul into something, spend more time apart than together, break up, and get back together repeatedly, yet in the end, you might end up with less than those who just muddle through life.
“Nonsense, I don’t believe it. Hard work leads to wealth, so why shouldn’t people who give their all receive more happiness?”
Xun Xun said, “Remember that saying? Light thinks it travels fast enough, but darkness is always waiting ahead of it.”
“Ah!” Zeng Yu wailed, her head throbbing. She told Xun Xun, “I shouldn’t have asked you. Before asking, I wanted to cry, but now, I want to die!”
Xun Xun peeled an egg for her, “While you’re alive, you can still try your luck. Once you’re dead, there’s no chance at all.” She handed the boiled egg to her sister who had grown up with her, argued with her, and mocked each other for fourteen years. “Eat something first.”
Zeng Yu took a bite of the egg, her heart like dead water. “I’ve had enough. I won’t keep stepping into the same filthy gutter. From now on, anyone who wears their heart on their sleeve is an idiot.”
Xun Xun smiled, “You always order stronger drinks than others, so naturally you get drunk faster. If feelings were as bland as water, you could drink more, but then it wouldn’t be the taste you like.”
Zeng Yu gritted her teeth as if making a vow. “I’m going to become immune to getting drunk!”
“Oh right, I meant to tell you. When I was coming in, I met your former dream lover on the stairs,” Xun Xun quickly changed the subject.
“Who?” Zeng Yu showed immediate interest.
“The one you wanted to follow abroad back then,” Xun Xun smiled.
“Him?” Zeng Yu was stunned.
Xun Xun nodded. Because of Professor Zeng, neither of them had applied to schools outside their city. They were in the same year, though Xun Xun studied accounting while Zeng Yu entered her father’s School of Architecture. Xun Xun had witnessed all of Zeng Yu’s college romances firsthand, so she had a deep impression of the man Zeng Yu had pined for, even though he had no memory of her.
“He hasn’t changed much, though he doesn’t look well,” Xun Xun said.
Zeng Yu thought for a moment, then said, “Right, at a recent class reunion I heard he’s doing okay, but he got divorced, and his parents aren’t in good health. His mother might be hospitalized here too.”
“Divorced?” Xun Xun smiled: “Perfect timing since someone else is newly single too, maybe…”
Zeng Yu gave a bitter smile, “You think I’m that stupid? If a man didn’t fall in love with me when I was young and beautiful, didn’t fall in love with me when I was willing to follow him overseas, why would he suddenly become interested after he’s weathered life’s storms and I’ve aged through several autumns? If that happened, it would be a soap opera and a tragic one at that.”
“But I remember you loved him very much back then.”
“Yes, I loved him deeply in the past, but that wine has already made me drunk once, and that drunkenness lasted for years. After that, I quit drinking it. Now I can’t even smell it without getting stomach cramps.”
She sat pensively for a moment, then stood up and told Xun Xun: “I’m leaving. I need to change clothes and go to the construction site. I almost forgot to tell you, you should visit the doctor later. I think your mother will be there too. The doctor will tell you some things about my father’s condition.”
“Tell me?” Xun Xun didn’t quite understand. Although she was nominally Professor Zeng’s daughter, when it came to major medical decisions, there was Zeng Yu as the biological child, Sister Yanli as the legitimate wife, Zeng Yu’s siblings, and aunts and other relatives. By any measure of kinship, she shouldn’t be the one making decisions.
Zeng Yu seemed to guess her confusion and vaguely explained, “Just go there. I’m afraid your mother will break down crying in the doctor’s office again, and I don’t want to see that scene. You’re her biological daughter, and you understand better than she does. You should be there at this time… I’m late, we’ll talk later.”
Zeng Yu waved goodbye, leaving Xun Xun bewildered.
After the nurse finished changing Professor Zeng’s IV drip, Xun Xun went to the attending physician’s office. Zeng Yu’s guess was completely accurate – even from outside the door, she could hear Sister Yanli’s distinctive, rhythmic sobbing. Xun Xun sighed and knocked on the partially open door. As it swung open, she first saw the doctor awkwardly withdrawing his hand from Sister Yanli’s shoulder.
Upon seeing her daughter, Sister Yanli cried even harder. “You’re finally here. Only you can help your mother make a decision.”
Xun Xun didn’t expect to understand the situation from her mother’s explanation, so she directed her questioning gaze at the doctor.
The middle-aged male doctor had now fully recovered his professional authority and composure. He asked Xun Xun to sit down and briefly explained Professor Zeng’s condition and the choices they faced.
It turned out that after CT scans and expert consultations, the conclusion was not optimistic. Professor Zeng had suffered a stroke due to massive intracranial bleeding and was now in a deep coma. For such cases, the hospital typically provided routine conservative treatment, but the chances of recovery were extremely slim. The most likely outcome was brain death, though the possibility of regaining consciousness couldn’t be completely ruled out. However, even if he did wake up, due to brain atrophy, his cognitive functions would be severely impaired, and he would require full-time care for the rest of his life.
Xun Xun finally understood why Sister Yanli was crying so devastatingly, and her own heart ached terribly. Though not Professor Zeng’s biological daughter, fourteen years of nurturing care carried no less weight than contributing a single sperm. When the hospital first issued the critical condition notice, she had harbored ill feelings but still clung to hope, wishing that with advanced medical care and the family’s attentive nursing, Professor Zeng might one day sit up again and chat cheerfully. Now, faced with the harsh reality, she understood its cruelty.
She lowered her head and pondered silently for a moment, then suddenly realized that if this was all there was to it – if it was already too late and nothing could be done – Zeng Yu wouldn’t have specifically asked her to come, nor would Sister Yanli ask her to make a decision.
“Then… isn’t there any other way?” Xun Xun asked pleadingly.
Strangely, the doctor didn’t immediately answer, and Sister Yanli’s crying became even more heart-wrenching.
“You just mentioned ‘routine conservative treatment,’ which implies there are other options?” Xun Xun carefully probed.
The doctor contemplated briefly before answering: “Yes, cases like Professor Zeng’s are challenging throughout the international medical community, but currently, a new specialized drug has been developed abroad that can effectively stimulate brain neurons, accelerate patient recovery, and reduce aftereffects, but…”
Xun Xun’s heart sank. Throughout her life, the word she feared most was “but.” First giving hope, then crushing it with harsher facts – that was the purpose of “but.”
“…while this drug has shown significant results in clinical trials, side effects have been observed in certain cases. Some patients couldn’t tolerate it, experiencing stress responses that led to rapid deterioration…”
“Rapid deterioration?” Xun Xun questioned.
The doctor nodded, “Yes, meaning death. This is the main reason why the drug isn’t widely used clinically. Moreover, its cost is prohibitive for most families, so we usually don’t recommend this treatment to patients’ families. However, if they’re willing to accept it, family members must sign a liability waiver in case…”
“No, it’s too risky, absolutely not!” Xun Xun said in panic.
“I understand, which is why I’m objectively explaining the pros and cons of both treatment options and their possible outcomes. Your family can discuss it further.”
Sister Yanli sobbed violently upon hearing this, making Xun Xun worry she might not catch her next breath. After thinking, she asked, “Doctor, can you tell me the probability of side effects from this drug?”
“That’s hard to say, it varies by individual.”
“Daughter, what should I do? You must help your mother make a decision!” Sister Yanli wailed as if in mourning. Xun Xun stamped her foot, apologized to the doctor, and half-coaxed, half-supported her tearful mother out of the doctor’s office to a secluded spot.
“Mom, are you crazy? You want to give Uncle that drug?” she said in a lowered voice.
Sister Yanli replied brokenly, “What… what choice do I have? I’m… I’m at my wit’s end.”
Knowing her mother well, Xun Xun understood why Sister Yanli made this choice. After Professor Zeng’s first wife died and the mourning period passed, his first action was to properly marry his lover, which unsurprisingly met unanimous opposition from his children and relatives. But he was in his prime then, and everyone gradually realized his feelings for that beautiful but vulgar woman weren’t just a passing fancy. The dead were gone, and the living had to go on. He was an independent adult, and even if his biological children disagreed, they couldn’t override his decision. So, relatives from both his late wife’s family and the Zeng family stepped in, saying he could remarry, but the two properties under his and his late wife’s names must be transferred to their children, and all their joint savings would go to their underage daughter Zeng Yu to ensure her growth and education wouldn’t be affected after the marriage. This money would be managed by Zeng Yu’s older brother and sister. This meant Professor Zeng was essentially entering his marriage with Sister Yanli penniless.
Professor Zeng was a decent man who had never done anything improper in his life except fall in love with Sister Yanli. At that time, he was solely focused on fulfilling his promise to give her legitimate status, so he didn’t argue about anything else. He agreed to their demands, transferred all his assets, and then contentedly led Sister Yanli into marriage. Though Sister Yanli felt somewhat wronged, marrying this man was already beyond her expectations, so she couldn’t worry about other matters. Besides, she knew Professor Zeng was at the peak of his career – even if they spent all their money, as long as he was around, they had a future.
So Sister Yanli married Professor Zeng, and their life flourished. Professor Zeng’s eldest son and daughter acted as if they had no parents, maintaining contact only with their younger sister Zeng Yu. As time passed, Professor Zeng, though happy in his marriage, increasingly missed his children. He could only get news of his other two children through Zeng Yu. As he aged, he felt more regret. Watching Sister Yanli live luxuriously as the vice dean’s wife, in the quiet of night, he began to feel guilty toward his late wife and children.
Sister Yanli liked having money in hand – it gave her security. But while she had the desire to manage money, she lacked the talent for it. Over fourteen years, the portion of money in her control was either lost in stocks or wasted on pointless speculation, leaving barely enough for daily life. Of Professor Zeng’s undeclared income, part went to his two children who had established families elsewhere through Zeng Yu’s name, while the rest was invested in real estate under his youngest daughter’s name. Though Sister Yanli had heard about this and caused several scenes, since her husband had already given her all his regular teaching income and allowances, she couldn’t push too far without losing face. After all, she planned to stay with this man until old age. Moreover, in recent years, as Professor Zeng’s health declined, she took meticulous care of him, bringing him soup and medicine. He was touched by this devotion and had privately considered transferring some properties to his wife’s name. But no one expected the crisis to come so suddenly, without any warning, leaving no time for arrangements before he fell unconscious in the hospital bed.
Sister Yanli had no special skills or income sources. She had navigated life relying on her beautiful face and attractive figure, but now she was middle-aged. Even if men still desired her charms, there would never be another good man like Professor Zeng to shelter her through life. If Professor Zeng passed away, besides some pension money and a small amount of cash and stocks that would come to her, she would be left with nothing. If he remained in a coma, all she could do was spend her remaining years watching over his gradually failing body, waiting for an unreachable miracle. How could this reality not leave her grief-stricken?
“If he becomes a living corpse, I have no hope for the rest of my life. If he leaves without a word one day, I won’t want to live anymore. The doctor said that in his condition, waking up is impossible, and even if he does, he’ll be an idiot. Could you bear to watch your mother serve an idiot for the rest of her life?” Sister Yanli’s face was streaked with tears, but her mind was clear.
Xun Xun reminded her: “Mom, didn’t you hear? That drug has side effects! You can’t risk Uncle’s life!”
“You think I don’t know? He’s my husband, would I want him dead?” Sister Yanli burst into tears again, “But what choice do I have? Only if he wakes up can there be a reckoning about who cared for him day and night – was it me, or his two heartless children? I have to at least try. Your uncle isn’t some half-rotten old man; even if there are side effects, they won’t affect him. Besides, those side effects are exaggerated by the hospital. They just want the family to guarantee everything while they take no responsibility.”
“But can you sign that guarantee? Since you know he has children, will they let you take such a risk? Mom, listen to me, Uncle has been good to us, let’s take good care of him, he’ll get better.” Xun Xun persuaded earnestly, though her heart held a different sorrow. She didn’t believe in miracles herself, yet here she was deceiving her single-minded mother who thought herself clever. But she couldn’t let her mother do something foolish – if anything went wrong with that drug, public opinion alone would drown Sister Yanli.
Sister Yanli lifted her face, “I’m his legal wife, what right do they have to stop me from signing? Even when school leaders come to visit, they come directly to me, the legitimate spouse. I know the law, this is my right! They know it too, that’s why they dare not say anything.”
“They?”
“Zeng Yu’s brother and sister, of course.”
“They’re back?” Xun Xun was startled.
Sister Yanli said: “No, but Zeng Yu’s aunt came last night. She’s always handled the Zeng family matters. They all know about the treatment options the doctor mentioned. I reasoned with her – I’m her brother’s lawfully wedded wife, not some mistress. She did not argue against that and finally agreed. She and Zeng Yu’s siblings won’t interfere anymore; my husband’s treatment is my decision.”
Xun Xun almost doubted her hearing, but after some consideration, she gradually understood. If what Sister Yanli said was true, there was only one possibility.
She slowly asked her mother: “Did they say you could decide everything, but they won’t cover any costs?”
“Let them not pay! When your uncle wakes up, he’ll know what ungrateful children he has!”
Sister Yanli spoke with determination, but Xun Xun felt her hands and feet turn cold. She had initially thought that no matter how much Zeng Yu’s siblings hated their father, blood ties would prevail. Now she realized she had underestimated their “rationality.” The current situation was that if Professor Zeng remained comatose, Sister Yanli, as the “legal wife,” would bear the greatest caregiving responsibility. If he woke up naturally but couldn’t care for himself, that would be the bitter fruit of Sister Yanli’s choice to be the other woman and marry into the Zeng family. If Sister Yanli risked using the experimental drug, it would be her own decision against everyone’s advice, with her bearing all costs. If Professor Zeng improved, he would still be their father, and it would be a fortunate outcome. Even if he left all his remaining assets to his stepmother, they wouldn’t care – Professor Zeng’s children had inherited their parents’ intelligence, excelled academically, and succeeded in their careers. Losing a couple of houses meant nothing to them. But if anything happened to Professor Zeng, Sister Yanli would lose both her husband and her money, and everyone would know she had disregarded her husband’s safety with a snake-like heart.
Ironically, Sister Yanli prided herself on her shrewdness and was pleased with her negotiation results, not realizing that her greatest intellectual advantage came from haggling with street vendors – how could she outmaneuver the highly educated Zeng family? Looking at the whole situation, they couldn’t lose, while Sister Yanli would lose everything.
“Mom, you can’t do this, you’re driving yourself into a dead end!” Xun Xun grabbed her mother’s arm and pleaded.
Sister Yanli wiped away her last tear and said: “Xun Xun, then what should your mother do? Tell me, which path isn’t a dead end?”
Xun Xun sadly realized she had no answer. Who was the foolish one? Sister Yanli had won fourteen good years, but beyond that, she had lost her bargaining chips from the very beginning.
“If Uncle…”
“I’m betting he’ll wake up!” Sister Yanli murmured: “He promised to take care of me for the rest of my life. He said after retirement, he’d dance with me in the square every day, so he has to wake up.”