From the residential complex to the hospital was quite a distance.
The group of them moved Lu Xiaorong into the car as quickly as possible. Papa Tan hurriedly set off, afraid of delaying treatment time and her condition worsening.
Lin Shilan rolled down the car window to speak to Tan Jin, and only then did the Tan father and son realize that the younger son hadn’t gotten in the car, but they couldn’t worry about that now.
“Tan Jin, Jing Jing just ran off. It was kicked and injured, so it definitely couldn’t have gone far. Look for it around the complex and take it to the pet hospital. There’s a rain poncho in the front basket of the electric scooter—take it out and put it on. Ride slowly in the rain, the roads are slippery so be careful.” She shouted to him at maximum volume, not knowing if he had heard everything.
Lin Shilan looked at the rearview mirror uneasily.
In the mirror, there was a small figure standing there in a daze.
Tan Ziheng saw his younger brother standing motionless like a stone wife watching for her husband’s return, holding onto the electric scooter and seeing them off into the distance.
He couldn’t help but turn to Lin Shilan and say: “Little Jin really listens to you.”
Uncle Tan had also said similar words to her. Lin Shilan didn’t think deeply about this statement, because in her view, Tan Jin had always been very agreeable.
Halfway through the drive, Lu Xiaorong recovered slightly.
She still looked very weak, with half her body leaning against the car door. She said weakly: “Let’s go home, I’m fine, no need to go to the hospital.”
“That won’t do!” Papa Tan was the first to voice his opposition: “You almost fainted, you can’t joke around with your health.”
Lu Xiaorong spoke slowly but was very stubborn: “Big Brother, thank you for your kind intentions. I know my own body, no need to go. This is an old problem from a previous surgery, I’ll be fine after resting a bit.”
“Let’s go, Uncle already drove us here, and even if it’s an old problem, let’s get it checked again. It was so serious just now.” Lin Shilan furrowed her brow tightly, her heart hanging high with worry: “If the doctor says there’s nothing wrong, then we’ll go home, okay?”
“Serious? You know too? My illness was caused by your infuriating behavior.” Her mother coldly shot back at her, then said to Papa Tan: “Big Brother, turn the car around. The hospital is just a place that makes you spend money, they can find illness even when there’s none. I have medicine at home, I’ll just take some medicine.”
Being able to say such a long string of words, her condition was indeed much better than when they had first helped her into the car.
Papa Tan and Lin Shilan were both choked up by Lu Xiaorong’s words. Only Tan Ziheng could try to persuade her one more time: “Auntie, are you sure you don’t want to go? We’re not far from the hospital, seeing a doctor won’t be troublesome.”
She was unwavering: “I’m sure, turn around up ahead.”
This whole incident had caused such a commotion. Lin Shilan had almost crashed the car, was fortunate enough to encounter the helpful Tan family who were willing to help, and yet Lu Xiaorong didn’t appreciate this kindness.
On the way back, no one spoke.
Outside the car, wind and rain raged; inside the car, there were occasional sighs from Lin Shilan.
She knew that when they got home, the matter of her hitting Uncle Tang and speaking back to her mother was far from over.
She felt vexed—vexed that her mother wouldn’t go see a doctor, vexed that her mother’s old illness had relapsed because of her. And she didn’t know how seriously ill her mother really was. If that were the case, she could only continue living that timid, submissive life in endless guilty conscience.
From now on, every cough from her mother, every instance of labored breathing, would be intimately related to her disobedience. Every time she spoke up for herself, every act of non-compliance, would risk aggravating her mother’s condition.
Lin Shilan anxiously began biting her nails.
A chill seeped from her bones, her hands and feet were going weak, and she wanted to take some calming medicine.
But this wasn’t a place where she could afford to be sick.
Taking advantage of no one in the car noticing her abnormal state, Lin Shilan hurriedly moved her gaze away from the back of her mother’s car seat.
Rainwater from the sky beat against the car window, and she tried to divert her attention through those mottled water droplets.
—The rain is so heavy, I wonder how they’re doing now?
Lin Shilan thought absent-mindedly of Jing Jing and Jin Jin.
Thinking of this, it was as if her soul wandered in the mountains and forests, detaching from this swamp-like rainy season.
She looked down on the small town, recalling the colorful streets of the metropolis, where she was 21 years old.
At 21, she was about to graduate from university, had worked several jobs, and could take care of herself. There was no Uncle Tang there, no mother, no college entrance exam, no grade ranking list. Although her life was messy because of illness, she was 21 after all.
Coming back to Yan County was merely a replay of her 17-year-old self, yet it could disturb her so deeply, drive her so hysterical. She had become too immersed in Yan County’s familiarity, forgetting its strangeness. All of this was already her past.
Relying on this perspective, Lin Shilan’s mood gradually calmed down.
Because of this perspective, she suddenly realized that Tan Jin was the only one to whom she could truly pour out her heart.
Everything they had encountered, the complex emotions in their hearts—telling past people or future people, none would understand.
Only Tan Jin would understand her.
Uncle Tan’s sedan had already driven back to their residential complex.
Lin Shilan stretched her neck, looking left and right, but didn’t see Tan Jin and Jing Jing at the complex entrance.
Uncle Tan drove the car directly to their building and, together with Lin Shilan, sent her mother upstairs.
The people in the house had left.
They left behind a room in disarray and an open front door, each returning to their own home.
Lu Xiaorong went to lie down in the small room inside, and Lin Shilan rummaged through boxes and cabinets to find medicine for her.
She poured water, got the medicine, and carefully handed it to her mother.
Lu Xiaorong covered her eyes with her arm. Lin Shilan softly called “Mother,” but she acted as if she hadn’t heard.
“Are you very uncomfortable? Mother, if you’re feeling too bad to get up and take medicine, we should still…”
Her mother laughed lightly, interrupting her words.
“Isn’t it better if I’m uncomfortable? Isn’t it better if I die? If I die, no one will control you, and you can do whatever you want.”
Lin Shilan lowered her eyes: “You can scold me however you want, just take the medicine.”
Lowering her arm, Lu Xiaorong threw a cushion at her.
“Whether I take it or not is none of your business. Get out, I get annoyed just looking at you.”
“Okay, I’m leaving.”
At the bedside, where her mother could reach, Lin Shilan set down the medicine and water.
She left the room, planning to tidy up the house.
As she lifted the curtain, Tan Ziheng surprisingly hadn’t left and was still waiting outside.
He waved at her and led her to the corridor.
The elegant and refined older brother from the neighboring family had returned to the small town.
He stood there, his gaze warm and gentle, calling her name intimately, as if he hadn’t witnessed her earlier predicament at all.
He invited her: “Little Lan, come eat at my house.”
Not allowing Lin Shilan to refuse, he added.
“I just came back today, you should at least do me the honor and welcome me home.”
“Ah!” Reminded by him, she suddenly remembered: “That’s right… you just came back from out of town today, and I’ve already troubled you all…”
“It’s no problem.” Tan Ziheng smiled, waiting for her to respond to his earlier invitation.
“Then, okay, I’ll come eat at your house!”
Lin Shilan glanced at her sleeve stained with muddy water: “I’ll take a shower first and then come find you.”
“Mm.” Before leaving, Tan Ziheng gently comforted her with one more sentence: “Your mother is angry right now, don’t take her words to heart.”
……
When Tan Jin came home, the sky had already darkened.
His hair had been drenched into a hedgehog style. Parking Lin Shilan’s electric scooter in the rain shelter below her building, he hurriedly went upstairs to find her.
He had thought Lu Xiaorong would be at the hospital, but she was sitting at home eating by herself.
Tan Jin tucked the small earth dog behind his back and knocked on the door: “Auntie, I’m looking for Lin Shilan.”
Lu Xiaorong gave him an eye roll: “You’re looking for her? I want to find her too. Who knows where she’s gone off to die—the older she gets, the more disobedient.”
Tan Jin silently retreated from her home.
He ran back to his own house, wanting to ask his dad and his brother if they knew where Lin Shilan had gone.
As soon as he entered the door, he didn’t need to ask.
The person he was looking for was sitting on his family’s sofa.
Tan Ziheng’s hand was pressed against Lin Shilan’s forehead.
She rarely had her long hair loose, her head lowered, her expression compliant.
Tan Ziheng’s gaze was firmly glued to her face.
And she accommodated the position of his hand, leaning her body slightly forward.
“What are you two doing?” Tan Jin’s voice shattered the beautiful atmosphere in the living room.
Their movements synchronized, simultaneously turning their gazes toward him.
Tan Ziheng released his hand, revealing a band-aid on the forehead opposite him.
“Little Jin is back?”
His brother stood up, naturally greeting him.
“I was helping Little Lan put on a band-aid, her head was broken by her mother.”
This explanation, however, didn’t relax Tan Jin’s guarded muscles.
When he had no expression, his entire face would reveal a kind of cold detachment that created distance.
Tan Jin set the small earth dog on the ground, and Jing Jing, wearing a dog raincoat, limped toward its owner.
“It has a raincoat, why did you get yourself soaked?” Lin Shilan picked up the puppy and pulled out a tissue, wanting to give it to him.
Tan Jin didn’t take her tissue, getting several sheets himself to wipe his hair: “The pet store doesn’t sell raincoats for people.”
Seeing that his clothes could be wrung out for water, she felt guilty: “I told you there was a raincoat in the front of the electric scooter. Didn’t you hear me?”
“Didn’t hear.” He tossed the tissue.
Lin Shilan saw he seemed to be planning to return to his own room, and casually found a topic to stop him.
“What did the doctor say? Is Jing Jing okay?”
Tan Jin stopped in his tracks.
“Is it okay?”
He turned his head, his pitch-black eyes sweeping over the corner of her forehead.
“You don’t even want your dog anymore, Lin Shilan.”
His tone was ice cold, dropping fragments as he listed her offenses.
“Your dog was drenched by rain in the complex, soaked like a drowned rat. Your dog was injured, badly injured. Without you, it was very unhappy, very helpless, very pitiful. You don’t even want the little dog anymore, so why are you asking about it?”
Word by word, he told her.
“If you don’t want it to be your little dog, you shouldn’t have been good to it in the first place.”
Lin Shilan looked at him.
They were no more than a meter apart.
She looked into his eyes, examining them carefully, but couldn’t see through what was in his eyes.
So she took another step in his direction.
Before her foot landed, Tan Jin fled swiftly.
The room door slammed shut with a “bang.”
He locked it, not letting people outside find him.
Jing Jing’s whole body was dry, its belly was round and full, and its wound was also well bandaged.
The small earth dog didn’t know that when it got lost, it had endured tremendous grievance; nor did it know why its owner kept gazing at it lovingly, gently stroking its head over and over.
The small earth dog happily enjoyed the petting, lying in its owner’s arms wagging its tail.
There would be good food tonight—it had smelled it. The little dog stuck out its tongue and panted carelessly, not needing to know anything at all.