The tent flap wasn’t fully closed, allowing the cold wind to gust in. It made the candle on the table flicker, nearly extinguishing it, and causing the entire tent to alternate between light and shadow.
Xie Zheng’s fingertips tapped the table restlessly, his handsome face cut by shifting shadows from the wavering candlelight. His eyes grew increasingly dark and unreadable. “Are you upset because I kept this from you this time?”
Fan Changyu was about to speak when the cold wind completely extinguished the candle, plunging the tent into darkness.
The words on her lips changed to: “I’ll go light the candle first.”
As she rose, a hand grasped hers, the grip neither too tight nor too loose, but enough to prevent her from easily breaking free.
Xie Zheng’s deep voice resonated in the darkness: “I’ve told you before about a formidable enemy I have. The last time I nearly died at his hands was due to a traitor in the army. Rashly involving you and your sister could put you at risk. The fewer people who know, the less danger there is. That’s why I went along with your misunderstanding when you thought I was a common soldier. There’s one more thing I need to apologize for – your sister was kidnapped by the rebels because they mistook her for a member of the Xie family.”
Fan Changyu had already guessed that Changning’s abduction was related to Xie Zheng when Xie Qi mentioned it earlier. Hearing it directly from Xie Zheng now, her face still showed a moment of confusion.
Outside, the three-legged fire baskets used for lighting were covered with makeshift rain shelters. The faint glow from outside allowed for a vague outline of everything inside the tent.
Xie Zheng saw the expression on Fan Changyu’s face and continued, “You know the man who kidnapped Changning. It’s the rebel who impersonated a grain tax official and incited the mob to surround the city. He’s Sui Yuanqing, the Crown Prince of Prince Changxin.”
Now Fan Changyu was truly stunned. That scoundrel was the Crown Prince of the rebels!
Her wide almond eyes looked like amber as she turned her gaze to Xie Zheng, who momentarily darkened his gaze.
She asked, “The wound on your chest… was it inflicted by him when you rescued Changning?”
Xie Zheng’s handsome brow furrowed slightly, reluctant to admit he had been injured by Sui Yuanqing and bedridden for so long. He released his hold on Fan Changyu and said, “I captured him alive.”
If Fan Changyu had felt guilty about Changning’s ordeal after hearing Xie Qi’s words earlier, believing it was her closeness to Xie Zheng that had caused her sister’s misfortune, now that she understood the full story, her feelings were even more complex.
If it weren’t for her efforts to protect Qingping County, she wouldn’t have made an enemy of that scoundrel, and he wouldn’t have sought revenge at her home.
If he hadn’t gone to her home for revenge, he wouldn’t have seen that painting, wouldn’t have recognized Yan Zheng, and wouldn’t have kidnapped Changning to threaten Yan Zheng.
But there are no “ifs” in life, and even if she could do it all over again, she would probably still choose to kidnap someone to save Qingping County. This time, however, she would be more decisive and end the rebel’s life with a single stroke.
After a moment of silence to compose herself, Fan Changyu said, “Changning’s kidnapping isn’t entirely your fault; I bear some responsibility too. Besides, you were severely injured while rescuing Changning, so you don’t owe me anything. There’s no need to apologize. As for you deceiving me on the mountain…”
She paused before continuing, “You were looking out for my sister and me. I can’t blame you for that.”
Her uncharacteristic calmness made Xie Zheng’s brow furrow even more. He could vaguely guess what she was about to say next, and just thinking about it made the dark emotions in his heart harder to suppress.
He placed a hand on his brow, trying to control his agitation: “When you said we need to talk, were you planning to suggest we part ways again?”
Fan Changyu choked slightly, thinking to herself that they hadn’t really discussed this many times before, and besides, his previous fake marriage arrangement had been agreed upon in advance.
She honestly replied, “We’ve never really been together, so it can’t be considered parting ways.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, she sensed a sudden shift in the atmosphere around the person beside her. Fan Changyu’s heart inexplicably skipped a beat.
Xie Zheng slowly raised his eyelids and asked, “Never been together?”
Fan Changyu met his intimidating gaze, her own eyes gentle but firm: “If you’re referring to those days in Qingping County, you entered into a fake marriage with me then, and we had an agreement. Moreover, you used a false name. There’s no such person as Yan Zheng in this world, so even that marriage certificate wouldn’t be valid. It doesn’t count as being together.”
Xie Zheng looked away from her, lowering his eyes. His thick black eyelashes were like the folded wings of a dark crow: “Then why did you come looking for me? Why did you want me to go back with you? And why did you take it upon yourself to try and fight in my place on the battlefield?”
The corner of his lips curled up in a cold smile.
Fan Changyu looked at him, her eyes gradually softening. But behind that gentleness, there seemed to be something stronger supporting her. She said, “Because, at that time, you were Yan Zheng.”
A rare hint of confusion flickered in Xie Zheng’s typically cold and arrogant eyes. He said hoarsely, “Wasn’t that still me?”
Fan Changyu replied, “The person hasn’t changed, but everything you represent has. When you were Yan Zheng, you were just yourself. As Marquis Wu’an, you’re more than just yourself. You’re a great hero admired by all, and the only son of General Xie. The one who’s worthy of the Marquis should be the kind of gentle, virtuous girl skilled in managing a household, as you once mentioned. I’m not well-educated, I only know a few characters. I can’t even play an instrument, paint, or recite poetry, let alone have I finished reading the Four Books. Naturally, I’m not fit to be the Marquis’s principal wife. But my parents raised me, and I can’t demean myself by becoming someone’s concubine.”
Xie Zheng’s dark eyes fixed on her: “How do you know I’m not willing to take you as my wife?”
Fan Changyu was stunned by his words.
Is he joking? The renowned Marquis Wu’an marrying a butcher’s daughter? Wouldn’t that make him the laughingstock of the entire world?
She blurted out in momentary panic, “Don’t say such nonsense…”
Xie Zheng coldly interrupted her: “You think this is nonsense?”
Fan Changyu frowned and said, “Those from humble backgrounds marrying up, at best, might be a rich family’s daughter marrying a poor scholar. Have you ever seen an imperial princess marry a poor scholar? Even the least favored princess would marry a newly crowned top scholar. I didn’t know your identity before, so that was different. Now that I know who you are, how can I take those previous words seriously?”
She at least had this much self-awareness.
Hearing her compare herself to an imperial princess, a vein throbbed at Xie Zheng’s temple. Then, listening to her subsequent words, he let out a cold laugh: “Who an imperial princess marries is decided by the Emperor. Who this Marquis marries is decided by me alone.”
He lowered his gaze to Fan Changyu: “So what if I’m Marquis Wu’an? I haven’t grown three heads and six arms to devour you. Why are you so frightened?”
Fan Changyu was shaken by his words and took a moment to gather herself before saying, “Let me tell you a story. When I was young, there was a tofu seller in town. Although she had lost her husband early on, she was hardworking and managed to make a good living with her tofu stall. Plus, she was pretty, so many widowers sent people to propose marriage, but she didn’t fancy any of them. Later, a young master from a wealthy family in the county came to Linan Town with a friend. He saw her and was smitten. He would visit her tofu stall every few days to buy tofu, and gradually, they became close. This young master wasn’t a frivolous playboy; he always treated the tofu seller with respect. Later, he even told his family that he wanted to marry her.”
Xie Zheng could probably guess the ending of this story and coldly interjected, “Don’t compare others to me.”
Fan Changyu didn’t respond and continued with the story: “How could the wealthy family agree to their son marrying a widow? The old ladies of the house fell ill from anger, and they locked up the young master. They even sent thugs to destroy the tofu seller’s stall. During that time, the whole town was filled with gossip about her. Everyone thought it was over between her and the young master, but unexpectedly, the young master went on a hunger strike to force his family’s hand. In the end, his family, loving their son, reluctantly agreed to the marriage, but only allowed the tofu seller to be a concubine. The tofu seller, remarrying into a wealthy family, didn’t expect to be the principal wife and was content with the young master’s affection. Even though it was just taking a concubine, the wedding was as grand as marrying a wife, with much fanfare and celebration.”
“The townspeople all said the tofu seller was lucky and would live a life of comfort from then on. In the years that followed, whenever she returned to town, she was always dressed in fine clothes, but she grew thinner year by year. The only constant was that some people still envied her, while others secretly spread unseemly gossip, saying she was vulgar and shallow, not a proper woman, and that after her husband died, she had seduced the young master to marry into a noble family. In the third year, the tofu seller was driven out of the wealthy family’s house. It was fortunate that she had been from a good family before; if she had been of slave status, she would have been sold off by the family.”
Xie Zheng’s expression turned cold: “That man simply changed his heart.”
Fan Changyu said, “I used to think so too, but my mother said that people from different paths, even if they come together for a while, will eventually part ways. It’s like someone choosing a common stone from a pile of gold and jade treasures. The world pities him for his choice, while the chosen stone is both envied and deemed unworthy. What they don’t realize is that the one who chose the stone can always go back and choose gold and jade, but the stone will never have another chance to be chosen. That’s how it was for the tofu seller. When the young master liked her, she was better than any noble lady. When he stopped liking her, she was no different from any tavern maid or tea house girl.”
Xie Zheng said coldly, “That man was weak-willed. When I decide I want something, I’ll take it to my grave.”
As he said this, his black eyes stared unblinkingly at Fan Changyu, with a fierce intensity hidden beneath his calm gaze that made one’s heart tremble.
Fan Changyu’s heart instinctively skipped a beat, but remembering her mother’s words from before, her eyes became resolute and clear: “My mother also said that it wasn’t just these things that led them to this point. A person can’t shed their past. The fact that the tofu seller was once a widow would follow her for life. She wouldn’t be favored by the mistress of the house and would face all kinds of scrutiny and disdain within the household. The rules and etiquette of a noble family aren’t something she could learn overnight. Being bullied by her mother-in-law, mocked by her sisters-in-law, and even looked down upon by servants – the voices and the pervasive sense of inferiority caused by the status difference would constantly erode the tofu seller.”
“The only thing she could rely on was the young master’s affection for her, but everyone else said she wasn’t good enough. Some words, when heard once or twice, might not shake one’s resolve, but when constantly repeated over the years, it’s hard not to be influenced subconsciously. The flaws that were once overlooked would suddenly become glaringly obvious. The young master was born into wealth and privilege. When he was learning to read, the tofu seller might have been helping her mother with housework. When he was drinking and socializing with friends, she might have been busy making tofu.”
“The young master lived a life of leisure, while the tofu seller lived a life of daily toil. The young master didn’t think much of the tofu seller’s cooking skills because his family had a multitude of servants. The tofu seller couldn’t understand the young master’s refined interests in poetry and painting. They were fundamentally different types of people. How could they truly understand what the other was thinking? What one considered their most precious offering might mean nothing to the other. Small conflicts accumulate over time, and before you know it, there’s an insurmountable gulf between them.”
At this point, Fan Changyu finally looked directly at Xie Zheng: “My Lord is a world-renowned hero, and only the daughter of a high-ranking official or noble would be a suitable match. I’m just a butcher; if you were to marry me, you’d be ridiculed by the world.”
Xie Zheng, having listened to her spin this tale to politely reject him, and then hearing her suggest he marry a nobleman’s daughter, laughed coldly in extreme anger: “Who I marry is none of the world’s business.”
Fan Changyu remained silent for a while before speaking: “I thought, after saying all this, my Lord would understand my meaning.”
Her knuckles unconsciously tightened, her chest feeling heavy and uncomfortable. For a moment, she wished he was still just Yan Zheng.
Separated by the table, they gazed at each other through the thin veil of night until Xie Zheng spoke: “Do you think everything I’ve told you before was also a lie?”
Fan Changyu was taken aback, not yet understanding the meaning behind his words, when he continued: “I told you long ago that I have no one left in my family, only myself.”
As he said this, his expression was cold, as if extremely reluctant to mention anything about his family.
Fan Changyu pursed her lips and replied, “I didn’t think these things you said were lies.”
Xie Zheng smiled, his expression enigmatic, simultaneously perverse and seemingly hurt, ultimately suppressed by his pride: “The story you told doesn’t apply to us. The Xie clan still has a few branch families. If you marry me, they’ll be falling over themselves to please you, not causing you trouble like in your story. If you don’t even want to hear their flattery, you needn’t see them at all. After we suppress the rebellion and I take my revenge on Wei Yan, I’ll request to be stationed in the Western Frontier. You can come with me to my fief, and we won’t return to the capital for ten or eight years. The number of noble ladies in the capital you’d need to interact with could be counted on one hand. With such avoidance, it would be difficult for them to gather together in this lifetime.”
“You fear the world’s ridicule, thinking I have other choices. I’ll ask the Emperor to decree our marriage. As long as I don’t rebel in this lifetime, I can only be with you, and no one in this world would dare object to this marriage.”
“As for the interests you mentioned, when I’m not practicing martial arts, I’m studying. You have a natural talent for martial arts and are diligent in your studies. It seems our interests align, and there’s no gulf between us.”
At this point, he finally paused. His clear, handsome eyes reflected the young woman’s image as he slowly said, “Fan Changyu if I were to marry you, would you marry me?”
Perhaps from the moment he realized his feelings, he had been planning for the future. Now, asking this question didn’t seem untimely or impulsive to him. He simply waited in this moment of silence for the decisive answer.