Chapter 135: Nightmare

“I’m the one who sent you the invitation, Auntie Qing.”

Chang Zaiqing started slightly, and asked with a puzzled smile, “Fifth Miss, what is this about?”

“Last time when Auntie Qing came, your visit was brief, and I didn’t get a chance to chat properly with you. Auntie Qing said you would come back another day, so I waited for a long time, but saw no sign of you. I had no choice but to send the invitation myself. Fearing that using my seal wouldn’t be proper enough, I used my mother’s seal. I hope Auntie Qing won’t blame me?”

Chang Zaiqing looked at the young lady before her. She spoke with a pleasant smile, natural and poised, without the slightest hint of embarrassment. If Chang Zaiqing were to make an issue of it, it would only make her appear petty. Chang Zaiqing immediately smiled and said, “How could I? Being invited by the Fifth Miss is my good fortune.” As she spoke, she discreetly observed Shen Miao again. During her last visit to the Shen residence, though Shen Miao wasn’t cold toward her, she was certainly not cordial, and there were even a few instances of impoliteness. This sudden invitation seemed suspicious, and Chang Zaiqing grew inwardly cautious.

“The main hall is quite cold. Auntie Qing, why don’t we go sit in my room?” Shen Miao smiled as she stood up. “It’s not far from here, and I really can’t stand this cold wind.”

Chang Zaiqing obediently agreed. When they reached Shen Miao’s room, Shen Miao had the maids bring tea and pastries. The fire in the stove burned brightly, and after opening a small crack in the window, she closed the door. The room was comfortably warm, yet not stifling.

Shen Miao pushed the teacup toward Chang Zaiqing. Chang Zaiqing smiled as she picked it up and took a sip, her expression suddenly turning strange.

“This is Zhudan tea. It’s very bitter and astringent, with little fragrance. Auntie Qing probably isn’t accustomed to it,” Shen Miao explained with a smile.

Chang Zaiqing’s face momentarily froze. She was somewhat bewildered by Shen Miao’s behavior. The rules of hospitality dictated that one should offer the best tea to guests, so why serve such coarse tea? Was it meant to humiliate her? Yet Shen Miao’s expression didn’t seem to suggest that.

“Although this tea is bitter and astringent, it’s extremely good for the body. Drinking it in winter helps ward off cold and keeps you warm. My father and brothers are martial artists, and they’ve always drunk Zhudan tea in winter. Later, the entire household adopted this habit.” Shen Miao looked at Chang Zaiqing. “Auntie Qing comes from a literary family and probably doesn’t enjoy this kind of tea, but in our military household, we don’t have so many particular customs.”

Chang Zaiqing waved her hand and smiled, “The Fifth Miss is joking. The Chang family is just an ordinary household. Although this Zhudan tea is bitter and astringent, it’s very beneficial. After drinking it for a while, one no longer notices the astringency.”

Shen Miao shook her head. “It’s easy to force oneself for a moment, but difficult to do so for a lifetime.”

Chang Zaiqing was startled, feeling that Shen Miao’s words carried a hidden meaning, and couldn’t help but look at her.

Shen Miao smiled slightly. “Speaking of which, I hear that Auntie Qing is now staying at the Shen manor. Are the people there treating you well?”

“They’re all very kind,” Chang Zaiqing smiled. “They take good care of me.”

“You and Third Aunt share similar interests, so I imagine you must get along very well,” Shen Miao said with a smile. “Third Aunt has always loved poetry and literature, which is why Third Uncle respects her greatly. I’m sure you’ve seen how good Third Uncle is to Third Aunt. In the entire third branch, she’s the only mistress of the household.” Then she sighed. “It’s just a pity that Third Aunt doesn’t have a son. If she had one, she wouldn’t need to worry so much.”

Having stayed at the Shen manor for so long, Chang Zaiqing naturally knew that the issue of the third branch having no son had caused almost daily conflicts between Chen Ruoqiu and Old Madam Shen. However, she hadn’t expected Shen Miao to bring this up. After all, Shen Miao was an unmarried young lady, and discussing matters of the third branch’s household seemed somewhat awkward. Yet Shen Miao spoke naturally, as if she didn’t consider this an inappropriate topic, leaving Chang Zaiqing unsure whether Shen Miao was precocious or naive.

“Third Madam is so kind-hearted; surely she will be blessed with many children and grandchildren in the future,” Chang Zaiqing said, following Shen Miao’s lead.

“People have always liked to compare our first branch with the third branch,” Shen Miao picked up her teacup, blew at the tea leaves on the surface, and smiled. “One literary, one martial. Both households have only one mistress, but our household is better off. At least we have my eldest brother, who is now of marriageable age. In a few days, we’ll find him a good match from Jing. With a sister-in-law and then nephews, our household will be lively. The third branch, however, isn’t as lively as our first branch.”

At first, Chang Zaiqing thought Shen Miao was being childish, holding a grudge against the third branch. But after hearing the entire statement, something seemed to dawn on her, and her expression changed.

Indeed, in Shen Xin’s household, Luo Xuexue was straightforward and not cunning, with no scheming ways, making the rear court clean and easy to manage. But she had nearly forgotten—there was still Shen Qiu. Shen Qiu was Luo Xuexue’s eldest son, promising in his youth. If he were to marry into a powerful family, even if she didn’t fight for position, she would still be inherently subordinate.

Shen Miao noticed the change in Chang Zaiqing’s expression, and her gaze momentarily turned cold.

In her previous life, when Chang Zaiqing had moved into Shen Xin’s rear court, Shen Qiu was already gone. Shen Miao had married into the Ding Prince’s household, leaving almost no threat to Chang Zaiqing in the rear court. Given such favorable circumstances, how could Chang Zaiqing not seize the opportunity?

But now things were different. With Shen Qiu alive and well—a healthy, living, legitimate eldest son—the possibility of Chang Zaiqing becoming a wife would be forever nil.

This calculating woman, who soberly weighed gains and losses, what path would she choose now?

Shen Miao picked up a pastry from the table and smiled. “Third Uncle is truly unfortunate. When Grandfather was still alive, he seemed to have said that Third Uncle was the most intelligent in the Shen family. Dignified in appearance and well-versed in poetry and literature—if he had a son, the child would surely be just as clever. Unfortunately, the third branch has only one daughter, my second sister, who is now almost of marriageable age. After she marries, only Third Uncle and Third Aunt will remain in the third branch, which is too lonely.”

Chang Zaiqing had been listening absent-mindedly, but upon hearing this, her heart stirred.

Come to think of it, the situations in the rear courts of Shen Xin and Shen Wan were quite similar. Both had only one woman, both were so-called devoted husbands. Yet it was notable that Shen Yue was two years older than Shen Miao, and with Shen Yue soon to be married and the third branch having no son, it was all the more rare.

“Auntie Qing and Third Aunt are similar in temperament, and even somewhat in appearance. Both gentle and understanding, knowledgeable in many refined matters—those who don’t know might think you’re a pair of sisters.” Shen Miao met Chang Zaiqing’s probing gaze and spoke unhurriedly. “But in my view, Auntie Qing is more outstanding than Third Aunt, because Auntie Qing is younger.”

The corners of Chang Zaiqing’s mouth unconsciously lifted. She knew that people in the Shen manor compared her to Chen Ruoqiu. Both were delicate and refined talents. But Shen Miao was right—no matter how beautiful a woman is, once she ages, even with great talent, her beauty will wither. By comparison, Chang Zaiqing appeared more attractive. Moreover, Chen Ruoqiu considered herself a daughter from a noble family and acted somewhat aloof, while Chang Zaiqing, raised in a common household, knew how to compromise, when to lower her head, and how to read people’s expressions, which made everyone praise her.

Chang Zaiqing thought with a deep gaze—she was indeed superior to Chen Ruoqiu.

Shen Miao picked up the tea and drank. Though the tea was astringent, she drank it as if it were sweet honey, displaying a satisfied smile.

Chang Zaiqing was already twenty-six. Women of this age in Jing who sought marriage typically became second wives, having to raise children not born of their flesh, a difficult role for a stepmother. Moreover, the Chang family was of modest status, and even with the backing of the Shen family name, marrying into a noble family would be challenging.

This Chang Zaiqing had abandoned her husband and child to seek a better life, and wasn’t easily satisfied. She had simply not noticed Shen Wan before. Since Chang Zaiqing was most skilled at weighing advantages and disadvantages, Shen Miao had laid out the opportunities in the third branch for Chang Zaiqing to exploit, letting her make her own choice.

Chang Zaiqing’s expression became somewhat unstable, her mind in turmoil. Shen Miao’s suggestion had evoked another thought in her mind, bringing to light things she hadn’t noticed before.

Indeed, if Shen Wan liked women with Chen Ruoqiu’s temperament, and she was superior to Chen Ruoqiu in every way, how could she not win Shen Wan’s favor? Compared to a warrior like Shen Xin, Shen Wan was a refined gentleman, still handsome, and ultimately more appealing to her.

But how had today’s visit suddenly taken this turn? She had originally intended to follow Chen Ruoqiu’s advice to test Shen Xin. She had originally set her sights on Shen Xin, but now, how had she ended up turning against Chen Ruoqiu? Was it because Shen Miao had kept distracting her with irrelevant topics? Was it Shen Miao? Shen Miao?

Chang Zaiqing suddenly looked at Shen Miao.

The purple-clad young lady sat by the window. Outside, the light snow had stopped without her noticing, and the sun had come out, shining on half of her jade-white profile. Her neck was slender, her hands holding the teacup as she slowly sipped, taking small mouthfuls.

There was an imposing dignity about her that left no trace.

Chang Zaiqing shuddered. It seemed only now did she realize that from beginning to end, she had been the one led by the nose by Shen Miao. Shen Miao had scattered her thoughts here and there, seemingly speaking casually, yet in a few sentences, she had directly shifted the focus to Chen Ruoqiu. Every word Shen Miao spoke made Chang Zaiqing think about the third branch.

This young lady was far from foolish or naive; rather, she was like a monster.

Chang Zaiqing recalled the few instances of impoliteness when she first visited the Shen residence, and her heart raced. Could it be that even then, Shen Miao had known her intentions, and those impolite moments were deliberate? And inviting her over today was also for this purpose?

Shen Miao looked at her with a smile. “Auntie Qing, why are you sweating? Is the room too warm?”

Chang Zaiqing suddenly came back to her senses, summoning all her attention as she looked at Shen Miao and smiled, “Perhaps it is.”

Shen Miao said calmly, “When the window is closed too tightly, the room feels suffocating, like being trapped in a cocoon. It’s better to open the window; it’s much cooler outside.” She instructed Jingzhe to open the window, then looked back at Chang Zaiqing. “Auntie Qing, don’t you agree?”

“The Fifth Miss is right,” Chang Zaiqing forced a smile, looking at Shen Miao’s smiling face with increased trepidation. She had hidden her thoughts so deeply, yet Shen Miao had understood her intentions after just one meeting. Such a person was a monster, a formidable one. Chang Zaiqing was grateful she had discovered this early; if she had truly entered Shen Xin’s rear court and had to deal with such a monster, she truly lacked confidence.

Shen Miao smiled, unperturbed.

She had told Chang Zaiqing: if you want to enter my father’s household, you must first see if you can deal with me. If not, consider yourself finished here, with even the path back closed off. See who will be caught in their web!

Chang Zaiqing wouldn’t take risks; she always sought the most advantageous and stable methods.

Sure enough, after speaking with Chang Zaiqing for not much longer, Chang Zaiqing claimed she needed to leave. Shen Miao naturally didn’t detain her. After Chang Zaiqing left, Guyu asked curiously, “Why is that Chang Miss so strange, as if she’s avoiding something? Who frightened her?”

Shen Miao said, “Instruct the servants not to mention today’s events to anyone. Chang Zaiqing never came to the Shen residence, remember that.”

The two maids acknowledged and left. Although they didn’t understand why Shen Miao was so concerned about someone like Chang Zaiqing, they knew Shen Miao always had her reasons, and the maids never questioned her.

After everyone had left, Shen Miao sat at the table, looking into the bronze mirror, somewhat lost in thought.

Letting Chang Zaiqing go after Chen Ruoqiu was because Chen Ruoqiu was truly detestable and had been causing trouble for too long. In her previous life, the marriage certificate between Chang Zaiqing and Shen Xin had been “accidentally” discovered by Chen Ruoqiu. It was Chen Ruoqiu who had repeatedly said they couldn’t do wrong to Chang Zaiqing and must give her justice. Shen Miao suspected that in her previous life, when Chang Zaiqing had finally turned her attention to Shen Xin, it might have been due to Chen Ruoqiu’s instigation.

Since they were twin flowers, and both close friends, they might as well be placed together to compete for beauty. Let’s see who Shen Wan truly preferred. Shen Miao’s gaze turned cold—handing Chen Ruoqiu over to Chang Zaiqing to deal with would certainly make her happy. But Chang Zaiqing wouldn’t be let off easily either.

However, Shen Miao frowned. Even now, it remained a mystery what Chang Zaiqing had done in her previous life that had eventually led to Luo Xuexue’s death.

Due to the matter with Chang Zaiqing, Shen Miao spent the entire day contemplating. During the family dinner that night, she was still thinking about it. Seeing her preoccupied, Shen Miao claimed she was tired. Luo Xuexue had someone make sweet milk soup for her and sent her to bed early.

Lying in bed, Jingzhe and Guyu tucked in her blanket, blew out the lamps, and lowered the bed curtains. Shen Miao closed her eyes.

Darkness fell, her breathing gradually steadied, and the deep night enveloped the entire city of Jing. Shen Miao’s body felt light.

Outside, the sunlight suddenly brightened. She opened her eyes, finding it somewhat dazzling. The air seemed to grow hot, as if it were summer.

This was early winter; how could it suddenly be summer? Shen Miao sat up, feeling an unusual headache. Looking down, she found herself sitting on a soft couch in a room. From the inner chamber came the sound of women talking. A bitter medicinal smell wafted out from inside.

The medicinal fragrance carried a certain familiarity.

Shen Miao stood up. There wasn’t a single maid in the room, but the women’s voices from inside grew increasingly clear. After a moment’s thought, she walked inside to look.

In the spacious inner chamber, the windows were tightly shut. The weather was already very hot, and with the windows closed, it was almost suffocating. Combined with that irritatingly bitter medicinal smell, it felt as if something was stuck in her chest, extraordinarily stifling.

Shen Miao took a few steps, intending to close the window, when she heard someone say, “Go open the window, please. I feel suffocated.”

Shen Miao was startled. The woman lying on the bed, with a haggard face, wore a deep apricot-colored thin cotton robe. Perhaps because it was too hot, her hair was soaked with sweat, and her clothes were half-drenched in the front. Her complexion was extremely ashen, her eyes reflecting a deathly pallor. Shen Miao widened her eyes—it was Luo Xuexue?

When had Luo Xuexue ever looked so withered?

“Sister, please lie still,” the woman sitting by the bed comforted her. “In this weather, catching a chill would be worse.”

Shen Miao turned to look at the woman. Dressed in a plain pale green outfit, the material was nonetheless expensive. With a clean, fresh, and refined appearance, she was in her prime years, forming a stark contrast to the deathly Luo Xuexue. Who else could this be but Chang Zaiqing? Currently, Chang Zaiqing had her hair styled in a married woman’s bun, one hand holding Luo Xuexue’s, saying, “Sister must get better.”

“I can’t go on.” Luo Xuexue’s voice was as thin as a thread, her eyes showing no more vitality. “I’ve lost my child; there’s nothing to hope for. What difference does it make whether I live or not? It’s just wasting these medicines.”

“Sister must not speak like this,” Chang Zaiqing said. “If the Fifth Miss were to know your thoughts, she would be heartbroken.”

“Jiaojiao,” Luo Xuexue’s eyes filled with pain. Shen Miao stepped forward, wanting to grasp Luo Xuexue’s hand, but her hand passed through Luo Xuexue’s.

As if she didn’t exist.

“Jiaojiao hates me.” Luo Xuexue closed her eyes. “But what can I do? The Shen family cannot be tied to the Ding Prince. The Ding Prince may fool Jiaojiao, but not me. Jiaojiao now hates both me and Axin, and doesn’t even want to see me. With the Ding Prince acting like this, what will become of Jiaojiao in the future? There’s no way out either way. I—” She became increasingly distressed as she spoke, suddenly covering her mouth with a handkerchief, coughing violently. When she unfolded the handkerchief, it was stained with bright red blood.

“Sister, don’t think about it anymore,” Chang Zaiqing supported her and comforted her. “The Fifth Miss is just confused for now. Perhaps the Ding Prince truly treats her well. Besides, how can there be overnight grudges between parents and children? The Fifth Miss will understand in the future; this hatred is just temporary.”

Shen Miao glared at Chang Zaiqing. Chang Zaiqing’s words seemed comforting but were adding fuel to the fire, confirming that Shen Miao hated Luo Xuexue. In her previous life, she had married Fu Xiuyi, and although she had wanted the Shen family’s help while Shen Xin refused, causing her some resentment, it was hardly enough to call it hatred. Now with Luo Xuexue so weak, hearing that Shen Miao hated her, how could she not be heartbroken?

Shen Miao’s vision blurred for a moment, and then she saw, opposite Chang Zaiqing, a woman dressed in autumn-yellow with gold-bordered clothes sitting in a chair, looking somewhat impatient. The woman was also young, naturally with delicate features, but wore extremely heavy makeup, making her appear somewhat strange. Shen Miao opened her mouth—if this wasn’t her, who else could it be?

Chang Zaiqing smiled and said, “Fifth Miss, please don’t be angry with Madam. It’s just that military matters have always been very important. The General and your sister probably have their considerations, which is why they’ve responded this way.”

“We’re all family. Since I’ve married into the Ding Prince’s household, His Highness is also half a member of the Shen family. Why do Father and Mother still treat him like an outsider? I know Father and Mother have never liked me, so they left me in Jing without care, and now His Highness also suffers because of it.”

Chang Zaiqing smiled again. “What are you saying, Fifth Miss? Although the General and your sister aren’t as close to you as they are to the eldest young master, blood is thicker than water.”

“I don’t care,” the young Shen Miao said willfully. “Everyone says Auntie Qing is the smartest. Can you think of a way to persuade my parents to lend troops to His Highness?”

Chang Zaiqing seemed very troubled, but after a moment said, “Since the Fifth Miss is Madam’s daughter, Madam must certainly care for you. Without saying more, if the Fifth Miss were to act coquettishly and express her grievances to Madam, perhaps Madam would agree to your conditions. If all else fails, you could throw a tantrum like a child. That might work too.” She smiled and said, “But this is just my nonsense. The Fifth Miss should consider it carefully.”

Watching from the side, Shen Miao was already livid with anger. Chang Zaiqing wasn’t mediating; she was instigating!

Shen Miao remembered now. In her previous life, Luo Xuexue’s pregnancy, up to her miscarriage, hadn’t been announced to others. She had wanted to wait until the pregnancy was stable before sharing the news, but something unexpected had happened. Coincidentally, the Ding Prince had wanted to borrow troops from Shen Xin, who naturally refused. Shen Miao had complained to Chang Zaiqing, who had then guided her words, encouraging her to be angry with Luo Xuexue.

Shen Miao hadn’t known about Luo Xuexue’s miscarriage at that time, so she had gone to see her. Perhaps what seemed like ordinary words to Shen Miao then were, in Luo Xuexue’s most vulnerable moment, tantamount to destroying her will to live. In Luo Xuexue’s eyes, Shen Miao saying she hated her represented something profound—no mother wants her child to hate her. And while Shen Miao was hurting Luo Xuexue, she had also said ambiguous things about the Ding Prince not treating her well, causing Luo Xuexue to worry.

Excessive worry, with Shen Xin not in Jing, and Luo Xuexue both heartbroken and anxious, coupled with the consecutive loss of children—even someone with a heart of stone would not withstand such a blow.

Shen Miao wished she could rush forward and claw Chang Zaiqing’s hypocritical smiling face.

The scene shifted, and suddenly they were in another courtyard. The courtyard was very elegantly decorated. Chang Zaiqing wore a emerald green dress, with a maid slowly fanning her. The summer wind carried heat, but the fan had been dipped in ice, making the breeze pleasantly cool.

“I heard Madam is failing fast,” the elderly maid beside Chang Zaiqing said. “The doctor says it’s just a matter of days.”

“Make sure she’s well taken care of,” Chang Zaiqing said. “Don’t give people reason to gossip.”

The elderly maid acknowledged this and then said, “The Concubine has finally made it through.”

“Yes,” Chang Zaiqing picked up a purple grape from a jar and ate it. “After all these years, I’ve finally made it through.”

“But what about the Master?”

“The General loves his sister deeply, so naturally he’s heartbroken,” Chang Zaiqing smiled slightly. “But what does that have to do with me? I just need to sit in the position of the only female master in the first branch. If the General doesn’t acknowledge me, it’s enough that the servants do.”

The elderly maid nodded and said, “The Concubine is right. I had thought Madam would hold on longer, but unexpectedly, so quickly—”

“Her heart was completely broken, and she was constantly worried. To have lasted until now is already a testament to her strong life force,” Chang Zaiqing said calmly. “Luo Xuexue was born with good fortune, marrying into such a good family, with no other women in the household. But unfortunately, she gave birth to a daughter like Shen Miao, who squandered all her good luck.”

Shen Miao was startled, and heard Chang Zaiqing continue, “Believing whatever she’s told—the Ding Prince’s methods are indeed sophisticated, making Shen Miao utterly devoted to him. She even abandoned her parents. But if Shen Miao weren’t so foolish, how could my good fortune have been realized?”

Shen Miao stood opposite Chang Zaiqing, in the blazing summer heat, yet her heart felt as if it had plunged into an icy abyss.

“The New Year’s gifts and food that Shen Miao had sent from the Ding Prince’s mansion were all tampered with, though she didn’t know it. She’s foolish, but Luo Xuexue loved her dearly and ate all those medicinal foods. She didn’t know that what her daughter sent was poison. That day you saw it too—Shen Miao feeding Luo Xuexue medicine, spoonful by spoonful, but it was all poison. And Luo Xuexue was still full of joy.”

Shen Miao’s body trembled, nearly collapsing.

At that time, to help Fu Xiuyi persuade Shen Xin, she had wanted to please Luo Xuexue, so she had ordered people to buy medicinal ingredients and learned to make medicinal foods, which she brought back to the Shen residence for Luo Xuexue. Luo Xuexue had always felt that Shen Miao was cold toward her, so when she suddenly became warm, Luo Xuexue was naturally delighted and ate everything without leaving a single spoonful. So those things had been tampered with!

Luo Xuexue would never suspect her daughter of harming her, but Shen Miao hadn’t imagined that even then, someone close to her had seen an opportunity. She suddenly felt so cold, her mind chaotically painful.

From an observer’s perspective, how cruel and foolish she had been then, undeserving of forgiveness. It was her own hands that had pushed her mother down the path to the Yellow Springs; she was the most unfilial person!

“Luo Xuexue was strong all her life, yet fell at the hands of her daughter. Come to think of it, I should thank Shen Miao,” Chang Zaiqing laughed with pleasure. “She handed over her mother’s life to me. From now on, the rear court of the Shen family is under my control. Luo Xuexue didn’t lose in this life. If there was one thing she did wrong, perhaps it was giving birth to Shen Miao. Shen Miao is indeed a bringer of harm.”

From a distance, a maid suddenly came running urgently, her shadow stretching into a long line under the summer sun, her voice slow and laden with wet beads of sweat. They said:

“Concubine Chang, Madam, has just passed away.”

“Madam is gone! Madam is gone!”

With a thunderous “BOOM,” lightning split the sky, illuminating the night in Jing. The sound of rain mingled with thunder and lightning, completely drowning out the cries of the people inside.

Shen Miao’s face was streaked with tears as she screamed, “Mother! Mother! I was wrong! I was wrong! I shouldn’t have liked Fu Xiuyi! I won’t like him anymore! I was wrong! It was my fault, Mother!”

By the bedside, the winter thunder illuminated her pale face, making her look like a desperate, wailing ghost. The purple-robed young man stood by the bed, his expression complex as he stared at Shen Miao struggling in her nightmare.

After a moment, the visitor finally sighed softly and reached out his hand.

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