In the night, the imperial city was brightly lit with lanterns, and people came and went in the Emperor’s sleeping quarters.
After bathing, Chu Zhao was momentarily startled to see seven or eight palace maids attending her.
It had been a long time since she’d been served by so many people.
“Your Majesty, is this a wound on your arm?” A palace maid carefully held Chu Zhao’s arm and asked cautiously.
Chu Zhao turned her head to look and saw a long scratch on her forearm—not deep, but quite long. She thought for a moment: “It’s a blade mark.”
The palace maids cradled her arm with expressions of sorrow.
Chu Zhao smiled: “It grazed past—it wasn’t a direct strike. Otherwise it would be much more serious than this.”
Another palace maid carefully examined her cheek and exclaimed: “Your Majesty, your face has been injured too!”
Immediately all the palace maids crowded around.
Chu Zhao smiled and waved her hand: “After all, I went to the battlefield, not on an outing. Only suffering flesh wounds is already fortunate.”
“We naturally understand that blades and swords are blind and life and death are decided in an instant,” a senior palace woman said softly. “We simply admire Your Majesty’s courage and regret that we couldn’t assist you.”
Chu Zhao smiled and stood up: “I am an empress, but also a general’s daughter. Moreover, I believe that if you faced such situations, you would certainly be just as courageous as I.”
The palace maids all laughed.
“Your Majesty flatters us.” “I think I really wouldn’t be afraid.” “Even if I couldn’t beat them, I’d grab onto them and not let go, so Your Majesty could kill them.” “I could scratch them—my nails are long.”
The bathing chamber was filled with lively chatter and laughter. Palace maids chatting and laughing with their mistresses was common, but the content being about how to fight and kill people was unprecedented. The senior palace woman smiled from the side without admonishing them.
Now that the palace had a new mistress, naturally everything would be according to the new mistress’s preferences.
A’Le poked her head in from outside: “Your Majesty, the late-night meal has been delivered. Please come eat quickly.”
Even a maid could urge the Empress now. The senior palace woman still smiled without speaking, watching as the urged Empress called out “Coming, coming.” She and the maids then stepped forward to wrap, dry, and dress Chu Zhao.
Chu Zhao emerged to see the tables in the sleeping quarters laden with a dazzling array of dishes, with Xiao Yu staring at them.
“Elder Sister.” Seeing her, Xiao Yu hurried over and took her hand.
Chu Zhao asked: “Is A’Yu hungry? You’ve been so busy all day.”
Upon returning to the palace they had gone to court, which continued until dusk. After court there was also a small council meeting, and only when night fell did they return to the inner palace and have some leisure.
Xiao Yu shook his head: “Not hungry.” Then he nodded. “But eating with Elder Sister, I could eat two bowls of rice.”
Chu Zhao smiled: “That won’t do. Elder Sister won’t let you eat two bowls of rice late at night.”
Xiao Yu sat down with her at the table, with Eunuch Qi personally attending.
“The imperial kitchen has practically sent everything Your Majesty likes to eat,” he said with a smile. “The nourishing soups and broths are also dazzling. Even if you need nourishment, you can’t make it all up in one night.”
Chu Zhao smiled: “They’re being thoughtful.”
Eunuch Qi examined Chu Zhao’s complexion: “Your Majesty does need good nourishment for a period of time.” He added, “The Imperial Medical Bureau people also wanted to come take Your Majesty’s pulse just now, but this old servant told them to come tomorrow. Tonight, let Your Majesty sleep peacefully and soundly—that’s the best tonic.”
Chu Zhao smiled and nodded: “Eunuch Qi is right. What I truly lack most is sleep.” She reached out to stroke Xiao Yu’s shoulder. “These past days, I truly haven’t slept soundly.”
Xiao Yu rested his head on Chu Zhao’s arm and murmured: “Me neither.”
Chu Zhao stroked his shoulder: “When the people suffer and the nation is unstable, anyone can sleep well, but the Son of Heaven cannot. This is the suffering the Son of Heaven must endure. Our A’Yu must endure this hardship.”
Xiao Yu sat up straight and looked at Chu Zhao: “A’Yu has suffered the pain of losing both parents. There’s no suffering in the world I fear anymore.”
These weren’t words a child should be able to say. Eunuch Qi felt his heart ache—after losing his parents, the child could no longer be just a child.
Chu Zhao looked at the child and suddenly said: “I have a secret—”
Before finishing her sentence, she looked at Eunuch Qi with a smile.
“Eunuch Qi, I want to tell His Majesty a secret. Please take everyone and withdraw first.”
Eunuch Qi smiled and agreed, immediately leading everyone out. Only the two of them remained in the sleeping quarters.
“Elder Sister.” Xiao Yu’s eyes were bright, and he lowered his voice. “What secret?”
Chu Zhao leaned close to his ear and whispered: “My mother is still alive.”
Xiao Yu’s eyes instantly widened, and he jumped to his feet: “Really!”
Chu Zhao quickly shushed him.
Xiao Yu hurriedly covered his mouth and looked around alertly. Under the palace lanterns’ glow, his eyes sparkled with animation—
Outside the hall doors, seeing this scene, Eunuch Qi couldn’t help but smile. He pushed away a young eunuch who was also craning his neck to look: “Move aside. Don’t disturb His Majesty and Her Majesty’s conversation.”
The young eunuch chuckled and stepped back a few paces, gazing at the palace city shrouded in night and sighing: “Since Her Majesty returned, His Majesty feels different—not like His Majesty, but like a child.”
Eunuch Qi also looked at the palace city: “His Majesty is, after all, just a child.”
In the Empress’s words, a child who must endure hardship.
Fortunately, there was still someone who wanted him to be a child, someone who cherished him as a child.
……
……
“This is truly wonderful.”
Xiao Yu sat down, looking at Chu Zhao with excitement and envy.
“Elder Sister still has a mother.”
Chu Zhao sighed softly: “She comes from a poor background and was separated from my father due to circumstances. Moreover, I cannot call her mother, nor can I tell the world that I still have a mother.”
Adult matters were somewhat difficult for a child to understand, but one point was simple. Xiao Yu said: “But you still have a mother. That’s enough.”
His expression darkened.
“Actually, I really wish my father and mother were still alive.”
“As long as they were alive, it would be fine—even if Father still didn’t play with me, even if Mother kept lecturing me.”
Chu Zhao reached out to embrace him, patting his shoulder and back, saying softly: “A’Yu, Elder Sister still has a mother, and my mother is your mother too.”
Xiao Yu leaned on Chu Zhao’s shoulder and made a strong sound of agreement.
He knew that when people died, they could never come back.
He didn’t think about it much anymore now.
He still had Elder Sister Chu.
As long as Elder Sister Chu was always there, it would be fine.
……
……
Deep in the night, Deng Yi, who had been busy all day, continued to be busy until interrupted by a request from outside the door.
“Grand Tutor, sir, the imperial kitchen has sent the late-night meal.”
Deng Yi made a sound of acknowledgment. This was also habit—whenever he was in the palace, the imperial kitchen always sent a special late-night meal at night.
The door was pushed open to chaotic footsteps.
“Grand Tutor, government affairs are complicated, but you must also pay attention to rest,” a clear female voice said.
Deng Yi glanced at the young woman who walked in—she didn’t perform a grand bow—and lowered his head to continue reading the scroll in his hand, saying: “This official merely sits and moves his brush, which doesn’t compare to Your Majesty’s campaigning and traveling. You should go rest quickly. Now that Your Majesty is in the palace, delaying morning court will invite criticism.”
Chu Zhao sat down across from him and let out a long breath, as if her entire body had relaxed, saying: “I’m not afraid. Since I was able to return here alive, I fear no criticism.”
She smiled again.
“No criticism can do anything to me.”
Deng Yi raised his head and looked at the young woman, smiling slightly: “This trip back and forth has made the Empress even more formidable.”
Previously she had been placed in the empress position by the late Emperor. Now she had also achieved merit and established her career. This empress position was even more firmly seated.
Chu Zhao reached out to pour tea and raised the teacup: “That I could return today, I must thank the Grand Tutor for his assistance. I use tea in place of wine to thank Lord Deng.”
Deng Yi looked at her and reached out to pick up the tea before him.
“Along my journey, I drank tea three times.” Chu Zhao held up two fingers to Deng Yi.
Deng Yi made a sound of acknowledgment and accepted a small bowl of whitebait noodles prepared by his clerk.
The clerk respectfully asked: “Your Majesty, would you like to try these whitebait noodles?”
The palace servants delivering the late-night meal had already withdrawn—not just anyone could attend closely. The Empress had brought a palace maid, but that maid just stood to the side. Forget about coming over to serve—if you even looked at her too much, she would glare fiercely back.
The clerk also knew of Chu Zhao’s background. Chu Lan’s family was undistinguished, and what Chu Ling had given her certainly wouldn’t be the kind of refined maid raised in a capital noble household.
It wasn’t surprising that the Empress’s most capable maid could kill people, but she might truly be unable to serve properly.
He could only do it himself.
Of course, this was also his honor.
Chu Zhao watched Deng Yi hold the bowl and eat noodles, and asked curiously: “Is this good?”
The clerk smiled: “The Grand Tutor likes this most. The imperial kitchen always keeps it ready.”
Chu Zhao smiled: “Then I’ll try some too. The Grand Tutor understands the imperial cuisine better than I do.”
Though she was the Empress, she truly hadn’t spent as much time in the palace city as the Grand Tutor.
Deng Yi finished the noodles in a few bites, set down his bowl and chopsticks, and said: “The tea Lord Xie served probably wasn’t very pleasant to drink, was it? You disrupted Lord Xie’s grand plans.”
Chu Zhao smiled: “Lord Xie won’t be angry with me because Prince Zhongshan’s heir confessed. Lord Xie just thinks I took too great a risk doing this on my own.”
The word “on my own” in that sentence was enough. It seemed this young woman had already placated Xie Yanfang. Deng Yi accepted the plum soup the clerk handed him and nodded, saying: “This subject thinks the same. Next time Your Majesty does something, please inform this official beforehand. Always being so silent not only catches people off guard, but also creates distance between us.”
Chu Zhao held her bowl eating noodles and smiled at these words: “So, would the Grand Tutor listen to whatever I say?”
Deng Yi frowned at her.
“No.” Chu Zhao straightened her expression and answered for him. “You might even stop me. I feel that would also create distance between us.”
Deng Yi made a sound: “Your Majesty is right. When ruler and subject are at odds, it is certainly the subject’s fault and has nothing to do with the sovereign.”
Chu Zhao wasn’t afraid of his sarcasm and smiled again: “Lord Deng, why speak so distantly?” She said to the clerk bowing beside them, “I want to try this plum soup too.”
The clerk acknowledged.
“I don’t distrust you,” Chu Zhao continued to Deng Yi. “I don’t distrust Lord Xie either. It’s just that with some matters, when one person faces another there will inevitably be disputes. We come from different backgrounds, have different experiences, so naturally our views and desires are also different.”
Deng Yi smiled and said: “Won’t you add ‘different ages’ too?”
Chu Zhao laughed heartily and accepted the plum soup the clerk handed her, saying half-seriously with an ambiguous smile: “Don’t underestimate me. Having experienced life and death, I’m equivalent to having lived an extra lifetime.”
She took a sip of the plum soup and her mouth puckered.
“Lord Deng, what kind of taste is this? This is way too sour!”
The clerk hurriedly handed her tea.
Deng Yi drank the plum soup in one gulp and said: “A young person’s palate is different from us adults. Having tasted all the flavors under heaven, one’s taste becomes bland.”
Chu Zhao smiled: “You can make even having strong tastes sound elegant.”
Deng Yi ignored her and picked up a piece of pastry to eat.
“Do you know what my greatest realization was upon returning this time, my lord?” Chu Zhao said.
Deng Yi said: “Life is but a dream?”
Chu Zhao laughed again: “Lord Deng, please don’t always joke around.”
“What joke am I making? Didn’t you say it yourself?” Deng Yi said. “Having experienced life and death, wouldn’t you naturally develop some insights about life being like a dream?”
Chu Zhao smiled and nodded: “That’s also true.” She tapped the table lightly in mock reproach. “Lord Deng, don’t digress. Listen to me.”
Deng Yi pursed his lips, said nothing more, and made a gesture inviting her to continue.
Chu Zhao straightened her posture and said: “I want to be Empress.”
Deng Yi laughed and said: “I said life is like a dream, and Miss A’Zhao still said I was joking. You’re not the Empress in your dreams? Then wake up quickly.”
Chu Zhao couldn’t help but laugh: “When I asked the late Emperor for the empress position, it was actually for my father and for my own safety. I didn’t think much about anything else.”
To make up for regrets, to prevent Xiao Xun from becoming Emperor—everything was to prevent that life’s fate from repeating.
She had even thought that after seeing off her father, making up for regrets, and ensuring the nation was stable, she would leave the imperial city and live freely in the border commanderies.
“But having experienced this life-and-death ordeal, I understand that to be truly free, one must have power.”
She looked at Deng Yi, her eyes glittering under the palace lanterns.
“It’s the position of Empress that gave me power, allowing me to do what I must do, should do, and want to do.”
Deng Yi said with an ambiguous smile: “And, Your Majesty has also experienced the wonderful feeling of success.”
Chu Zhao looked at him and nodded: “Yes.”
Though she had no attachments, there were surprisingly so many people who cared about her.
Whether it was Xie Yanfang’s questioning tea, Zhang Gu’s respectful tea, or her female companions’ congratulatory tea.
Whether people hated her, resented her, were wary of her, or revered her, courted her.
In this life, she, Chu Zhao, was seen by others and kept in their hearts. No one could ignore her.
Deng Yi looked at the young woman before him. This was the first time he had really looked at her properly since her return.
Whether in the great court assembly or the small council meetings, the Empress and Emperor only listened to governance. He neither needed to nor had any reason to be distracted looking at her.
He also knew there were plenty of others who wanted to get a good look at her. Xie Yanfang certainly wouldn’t pass up the opportunity on the journey, and those women in the capital—or rather, the aristocratic clans hiding behind those women—all wanted to see her too.
Looking now, no wonder everyone wanted to see her. She truly was different from before.
Having experienced life and death, she carried an aura of killing intent.
This young woman had always been fierce—he’d known from their first meeting—but fierceness was defensive.
Killing intent was different.
Killing meant taking the initiative to attack.
Deng Yi smiled slightly: “Your Majesty shouldn’t overthink it. Whether to be Empress or not, from that moment on, it’s no longer up to you to decide.” He poured another cup of tea. “Of course, wanting to be is even better.”
“Actually, wanting to is also because this is the first time I’ve experienced how delightful it is to possess what I’ve never had before,” Chu Zhao said with another smile.
Deng Yi said nothing and pushed a cup of tea to her, listening as the young woman asked again.
“Lord Deng, why do you single-mindedly want to be a high official? What is it for?”
Deng Yi said: “What else could it be for? Of course it’s the same as Your Majesty—to experience the happiness of possessing what I’ve never had before.”
Chu Zhao smiled and took the tea he pushed toward her, clinking it against the teacup before him.
“So, don’t worry about who listens to whom, who trusts whom. Lord Deng, you and I are the same kind of people, and we want to do the same things. Let us work together in harmony to accomplish things.”
Deng Yi smiled slightly and raised his teacup, draining it in one gulp.
……
……
Besides declaring their mutual cooperation, before leaving, Chu Zhao turned back and told Deng Yi one more thing.
“Previously when I left the palace to see my father, you thought I was doing something useless,” she said. “Although this trip truly couldn’t save my father’s life, being able to accompany him on his final journey—now that I’ve lost him, my heart doesn’t feel lost and drifting with nowhere to settle. Instead, it’s more resolute and grounded than ever before.”
Deng Yi made a sound, his expression wooden: “As long as Your Majesty is happy.”
Chu Zhao smiled at him: “Even without meaning, it can make people happy.”
……
……
Deep in the night, the lanterns in the front court were even dimmer. After the night watch drum sounded, the palace city gates would be locked.
After seeing Chu Zhao off, Deng Yi didn’t return to the Grand Tutor’s hall. Instead, he stood in the corridor looking at the night.
“The Empress knows of the Grand Tutor’s assistance to her. She’s come to thank the Grand Tutor,” the clerk said with a smile.
If Deng Yi hadn’t issued the imperial edict, how could Empress Chu have negotiated with Prince Zhongshan? At this very moment she would already be dead in Prince Zhongshan’s mansion, and instead of flower petals welcoming her throughout the city, there could be mourning white throughout the capital.
Deng Yi said nothing.
“The Empress has seen the importance of the Grand Tutor’s assistance,” the clerk continued. “She’s come to form an alliance with the Grand Tutor.”
Although Deng Yi alone was powerful enough, having one more ally was always good, especially when that ally was the Empress.
And indeed, this Empress was now quite powerful.
Deng Yi still said nothing, then suddenly lifted his feet and moved forward.
The clerk was momentarily stunned and hurried to catch up: “My lord, where are you—?”
“I’m going home for a visit,” Deng Yi said.
For a moment the clerk didn’t even remember Deng Yi had a home—he might go back once or twice a month. The Grand Tutor’s mansion was practically just a storehouse for receiving gifts.
The clerk hurried to follow, summoning the imperial guards to prepare horses and clear the streets.
Deng Yi’s return set the sleeping Grand Tutor’s mansion into a flurry of activity, mixed with cries of alarm.
“Second Master! Why have you come back! Have you been dismissed? Lost power? Is this mansion about to be raided?”
Amid the chaos, a woman spoke urgently.
“Ah Er, it’s rained several times now. Your father’s and brother’s graves need repairing.”
“Mother, I’m not so busy these days. I’ll personally oversee the repairs.”
……
……
After washing and changing clothes, Chu Zhao quietly entered the sleeping quarters. Inside and out it was peaceful and still, with night lamps burning dimly.
She had A’Le and Xiao Man go rest while she walked toward the sleeping platform in the side chamber.
Previously, when Xiao Yu was frightened at night, he always needed her to sleep beside him. Upon her return, Eunuch Qi had told her that Xiao Yu could now fall asleep on his own.
But she had returned in such a hurry and hadn’t yet decided which palace to move to, so she was temporarily still staying here.
After just a few steps, light footsteps sounded from the inner chamber. A figure moved, and Xiao Yu poked his head out, softly calling “Elder Sister.”
Chu Zhao was startled: “Did I wake you?”
Xiao Yu held a bamboo tube and shook his head: “Elder Sister, are you done with your tasks? I haven’t slept yet—I was waiting for you.”
After the late-night meal, she had coaxed Xiao Yu to sleep before going to see Deng Yi. She hadn’t expected this child hadn’t slept at all.
“So you’ve learned to deceive people,” Chu Zhao walked over and poked his forehead.
Xiao Yu giggled.
Chu Zhao quickly covered his mouth and shushed him: “Not sleeping in the middle of the night—even the Emperor gets scolded for that.”
Xiao Yu indeed made no more sound, covering his mouth with one hand while smiling and nodding.
Chu Zhao’s gaze fell on the bamboo tube he held in his arms—so saying he could sleep on his own was actually this child deceiving Eunuch Qi and the others.
She sighed softly in her heart and pulled Xiao Yu by the shoulder, turning inward.
“Come on, let’s go sleep quickly. Otherwise, we won’t be able to get up for morning court tomorrow, and we’ll be laughed at by the civil and military officials,” she said in a low voice. “The Grand Tutor will also seize the opportunity to scold us.”
Xiao Yu covered his mouth with his hand, smiling and nodding.
Lying on the wide, soft dragon bed, Chu Zhao let out a long breath.
“It’s been so long since I’ve slept in such a soft bed,” she turned her head to look at Xiao Yu. “A’Yu, from now on we can both sleep soundly and peacefully.”
Was it because the bed was soft? Xiao Yu didn’t feel that a soft bed would make him sleep soundly. However, with Elder Sister Chu back, he could sleep soundly.
He nodded and closed his eyes.
(End of this volume)